James Sexton
Appearances
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Why is it rude to say to someone, you guys are getting along, you're in love, you're having fun. Why do you want to get the government involved? What most people call love today was something that was invented in the 50s to sell shampoo. All three of you have a prenup. The government wrote it. You think that's a good idea?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
How many other times? Like when was the camera not rolling in the last?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So perpetrators of domestic violence are, in my experience, like they're charming. Like how else would they get victims? Like the way you, you know, there are people that are great at love bombing. They're great at like convincing a person that, oh my God, I would never hurt you. I care so much about you. And then when something happens, doing the whole, like, I'm so sorry that that happens.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know, I love you so much. It'll never happen again.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Oh, yeah. I know what you're talking about.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That was a great portrayal of what they're like. What they actually are like. Yeah, good looking, charming, successful.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because a lot of that adjustment personality disorder, that sociopath behavior, that ability to sort of blend into your circumstances, A, it makes people very effective in their professional lives. because they can just go into whatever setting and be whoever they need to be in that setting.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But in their home life, it turns into something that, you know, that's chaos when you have to deal with those DV cases.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'm going to be like this now.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But I was like, you know, like, I'm sorry you live in a democracy. Like, we have a system. Everyone's entitled to have counsel. And by the way, it's not like fucked up people come in and at the console go, listen, I'm a straight piece of shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I just need you to help me get out of it. It's not how it works. They come in and they're like, listen, she's crazy. She attacks me. And once I had like push her off me and yeah, she hit against the wall, but now she's going to falsely accuse me of domestic violence. And you sit there and you're kind of, and sometimes I'm in court when I'm, you know, sitting in my clients next to me.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I realized like, Oh shit, I've got the villain. Okay. All right. Like that was not great. You know, because it's not surprising. Like when people tell you the story of their life, they're usually the fucking hero of the story. Like rarely do they come in and go, listen, I'm all fucked up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's one of the few things that, like, stand-ups, I think, do very well. Yeah, we're fucked up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Most people come in and just go, like, oh, listen, I'm wonderful, I'm great. And then you sort of learn progressively and you start to look at their text messages. And also, dude, there's, like, human growth, too. Like, who you were 10 years ago and who you are now. I had a client once who was a custody case about, like, a 10-year-old.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yes. So bizarre. I can't actually stand still anywhere in New York City without someone coming up going, you're that divorce lawyer, you know? The problem is when you do, like if you're going to be known for a viral clip, don't be wearing the same outfit you wear every fucking day. Because there's no way to camera. It's like your mustache.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And when the woman was pregnant, when the mother was pregnant, so 11 years earlier, he had sent her all these text messages saying, because they'd been dating for like two months, like, you need to get an abortion. I don't want this baby. If you have this baby, I want nothing to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And of course, he'd been for 10 years a phenomenal father, loves his.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And the other side, in our exchange of discovery, you have to like, you know, share all your ammunition in advance because it's not supposed to be trial by surprise. They sent me these text messages.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So anything you're going to put in like photographs, audio recordings, video, you have to exchange it in advance. That's called discovery? It's called discovery. Yeah. And it's a process where it's meant so that everyone has the opportunity to like review something, make sure it's authentic, have it reviewed by experts if they need to. Have a rebuttal.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Prepare their case as best they can. You're not allowed to like trial by surprise. Did you order the code red. It doesn't really work that way. Like what you have to do is you have to exchange the stuff. So they'd sent these text messages and my attitude was, okay, we got to get in front of this. Like we got to like Eminem eight mile final rap battle.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like I got to go in and like cover this and be like, now tell these people something they don't know about him. You know, like I got to do something with it. So that's exactly what I did. I put them on the stand and I said, you know, you see these text messages. you know, did you send these texts? He said, yeah. And I said, is that how you felt at the time? And he was like, yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I was like, how do you feel when you read those text messages now? And this guy legitimately started crying on the witness stand. And he was like, I'm so, he's like, I'm so mad at myself. He's like, and I'm so horrified. And I'm so, like, if she'd listened to me, I wouldn't have my son. But I know I was, like, just stupid and scared.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I'm watching opposing counsel just crossing out whole pages of that cross-examination. Because we got in front of it, you know? But that is, like, what happened.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, and that's why, you know, when people say like representing good people and bad, like if only we could just put people in boxes of good people and bad people and just separate them. But like, you know, the line of good and evil runs right through the human heart.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I think at the end of the day, what you have to say, like if I judge your husband being a husband, your ability to be a husband by your best moment as a husband, you're a phenomenal husband. If I look at the worst moment you've ever had as a husband, that's the totality of you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
If you shave that shit, you can probably get away with it for a few days. You can blend right in. Maybe that's what I'm planning. Without that, that's what you got to do.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
A hundred percent. The best of us absolutely do that. You live and die by reputation in this business. And if you're the kind of person that just exacerbates conflict, you don't last long in this.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, and your client leaves with a really bad taste in their mouth because they see that you're just amplifying. Like, my job very often is to protect people from the part of themselves that's feeling brokenhearted and vindictive. Oh, so vindictive. Like, people come in and they're like, I caught him fucking his secretary. I want to rip his nuts off. I hate, like, I want to kill him.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And my job is to go, look, I... You have every right to feel the way that you feel. But let's focus on the issues right now. Like, you're going to have grandkids with this person someday. You're stuck with him. You're going to see him for the rest of your life, no matter what. Like, I have an ex-wife. Trust me, I got to sit next to her at graduations. I got to sit next to her.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, it's what you do. So you have to learn how to interact with this person. And you try to say to them, look, most people, the good news is most people love their kids more than they hate their ex.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like most people's love for their children is the most powerful thing they have. I mean, I know we've got, you know, we've got two relatively new fathers here, you know? So, I mean, the truth is that that is a powerful emotion that very often will make you put down a lot of other stuff.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And so it really turns into something where my, our job is to try to bring out the angels of people's better nature. So I always tell clients like in a, in a negotiating table, in a courtroom, um, I'm a weapon. My job is to just go at a person and attack and do that. But before you get there... When the door is closed, it's me and Michael.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
My whole thing is, look, I'd rather you pay her than pay me. Like, stand down. Like, let's not do this. Put your kids through college, not mine. Like, let's figure out how to do this the right way. If I get... I get a sense when I do a consult with somebody that they have any chance that they could go to a mediator instead of using lawyers and they could sit, I'll send them right to a mediator.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I probably send two, three cases a week to mediators.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah. Well, there's a lot of paths up the mountain, but the ideal process is two people sit down and they map out what do you want to do with the kids? What's going to make sense? Like, well, you work this night, I work this night, so you'll have the kids this night or that night. Ideally, people could sit down at the kitchen table with a piece of paper and just map it out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But second best is you go to a mediator. That's a person who's usually an attorney or an accountant who's trained, who knows what issues to talk about. And they walk through it with you and they'll say, all right, here's the things we have to decide. And they don't represent either person. They represent both people in a sense.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
The next step from that is you get two attorneys that work collaboratively, that just don't come at each other, don't try to vilify either side and just try to work, you know, come up with identifying assets, valuing them and how to divide them, figuring out what's going on and just doing it that way.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Man, that's a high... They had a bad breakup.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
The thing I've got very good at over the course of 25 years is the warfare part of it, like the courtroom. So the people that come to me now tend to be people that have that kind of complex case. And they need someone who knows how to do that particular set of skills. which is why I have all of these amusing anecdotes of, like, chaos.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But the truth is, like, the majority of divorce lawyers, it's really just about a negotiation. It's about trying to sort of, you know, work with people in a way that doesn't amp up the conflict.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah. You know, it's... That's a deep cut New York reference.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But, you know, the outliers... Like very few people can just like hold hands, sing Kumbaya and like write it down and solve it. Very few people go to war. But you hear about the war because, hey, it's way more fucking interesting. I don't get invited to a lot of parties, but if I'm at a cocktail party and someone says, what are you doing?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I'm a divorce lawyer and they're going to go, oh my God, you must have stories. And if I said, I do, there was this couple and they were married and then they slowly grew apart from each other. So they decided how they would like amicably resolve their differences financially and they shared their time with the children.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
worst fucking story like they want to hear the like no and then he took the chainsaw and he cut the car in half yeah and then he said pick which half you want bitch you know like that story by the way no yeah yeah what is your let's go there what is your craziest divorce that you well i mean the guy and the lady over and stabbed her 16 times yeah fun crazy yeah Fun crazy?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Just absolute insanity.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, I mean, well, I've had ones where like there's a lot of cash involved. So I had one where they, over the years, guy was a dentist and he took a lot of cash. And what he used to do is he used to wad it up in like these round things and then fill tennis balls. ball cans with cash. And then they had a jacuzzi in the backyard and he lined the jacuzzi thing with these tennis ball cans.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So there was like $800,000 of cash in the lining of the jacuzzi. And I actually had to bring in an expert to testify to the size of the jacuzzi and the size of how much could be held in the tennis cans to ascertain what the value of the money that he had then removed from the jacuzzi was.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Took it all out. And he was like, what money? I don't know what you're talking about. Wow. So that kind of stuff is like always an interesting, bizarre puzzle. But yeah, I mean, people are constantly cutting shit in half. I mean, the ones that shock me are the people who come in and they've... And by the way, like... Apple, like Apple technology is responsible for more divorces than they have.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a real discovery right there. Sorry, shots fired, Steve Jobs. I'm sorry, Tim Cook's gonna like, my iPhone's gonna stop working now. Love your products. Don't do that to me, man. But the truth is like there's, the whole integration of the different devices. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like a lot of people don't realize like your fucking text messages are coming up on the iPad that your kid's playing with. Oh, wow. And then your wife, Like you're upstairs texting with the girlfriend about like, it was so great last night, you know? And then the kid is like, bing, bing, bing. And mom comes over like, what's going on? And they're like, I don't know, the cartoon stopped.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And mom's like, what is this? And all of a sudden there's naked pictures of the girlfriend and she's reading in real time. And this happens like once a week, I get one of those.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You ever walk into the DMV and go, these people should be in charge of everything.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, I ask myself that question a lot.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because sometimes people are so brazen. That it's just like you're kind of- That you kind of go, yeah, like I want to pause.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, I mean, you know, subconsciously I think so.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They had the most brutal breakup, like epic level breakup. I heard about this, yes.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, a lot of them feel- You know, Patrice O'Neill had a thing he used to say about- Want me over right now. He had a great thing about how he said, you know, cheating- If you think about it, as a man, a man is leaving his home to get some happiness without hurting your feelings. Go to fuck a girl behind a dumpster.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
To get a little bit of happiness without hurting your feelings.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I remember hearing that and going, but when you spend enough time with people who've cheated. Yeah. And that's legit. They're like, look, I love her. I love her. But we don't have that anymore. Like, we have this, like, we're running a daycare center together. And like, I love her. I like coming home to her. I like her mom. I like her brother. Like, we all get along.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I like all the stuff we do. I like our home. I like our life. But like... I want to fuck sometimes. I had a friend who once said to me, the moment you know you're in a relationship is when you're in the middle of sex and you think, one of these days I've got to get laid. You know, and I think that most married men do not acknowledge that this is correct.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Most married men, it's a bit. Most married men will go, oh yeah, okay. Like I kind of get that. Like the difference, because again, I think there is something really true about, you can't, some of the freaky shit you want to do in your head, blame Pornhub, you know, it's on everybody's heads.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Which is like, you know, here you go. You finish this brutal hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees trying to get away from each other and then one of you dies. It's like, fuck. Fuck. That's pretty lucky for him. Yeah, without a guy. He was like, shit, I could have saved some counts.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You're not going to do that with a person that then you'd be like, okay, so which of us is going to bathe the kids now? Like that's, you're not going to do that. So I think men, sometimes move away from that kind of a connection with their spouse. And then they say, look, I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to lose my family. I want to chase this shiny object.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And by the way, like, I mean, how, look at how many half-naked women we are exposed to on a daily basis, thanks to Instagram and TikTok and everything else.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, I don't think that's bad advice. I mean, so insofar as they at some point enjoyed that. Yes. Like if they were if you started out that way and then you said she might secretly be like, why don't you have a child?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Cheating is one of those things. I mean, I joke that I got a PhD in cheating because you... you listen to people who've been cheated on, you listen to people who've done the cheating, but the people that I'm shocked by are the people that like, they know their spouse is cheating.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like they had one of those iMessage moments or they, like the cameras catch stuff, all the little nest cams, security cams, the baby cams, nanny cams, catch stuff. And they don't let the spouse know that they know it. And they're like three, four months in to like, I watched this person having sex with their mistress on the nanny cam. Oh, Jesus. And I'm still sitting across the table from them.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I find myself thinking like, how the fuck do you keep that? Yeah, you're the sociopath, actually.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
how are you not like just losing your shit on this person at all? You know, but people can do it. Then why do you think? Kids usually or? I think it's, I don't know. I think it's a combination of like, if they say it out loud, it's real. They're in denial. Yeah. Sometimes people come into my office and like, They have a very hard time.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There's tissues on like every desk because people are just having to say it out loud, you know, having to like say out loud, like, yeah, this thing's broken, you know?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Surprising number of people kill their wife.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, I got to tell you, we're in modern society. Like what I will tell you is a lot more people come back from cheating than you'll ever know.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I've never had one where someone was killed. I did have a client who her husband or estranged husband, now ex-husband, ran her over three times and stabbed her 16 times. This is during the divorce? During the divorce. And she survived. Like, this guy couldn't even get that shit right. Like...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
16 times run him over three times and she's alive to tell the tale and he's in fucking prison okay so she got 100% in the end she got 100% she also had to get like another kidney and some other things so she lost out yeah I mean with the amount of money yeah she did alright now what role do you play in that
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
A lot, yeah. I mean, I think, you know, when you're dealing with like high net worth and ultra high net worth divorces. What is high net worth? So high net worth is generally defined as a divorce where the estate is more than $10 million. Got it, got it. Ultra high net worth is over $100 million. Got it. So it's a different level in some ways because you're fighting over bigger numbers.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's harder to track the values. A lot of the stuff that people do for wealth preservation and tax avoidance, super, super rich people don't own anything. They have trusts that own LLCs that are beneficiaries of. They have great-grandchildren that haven't been born yet own everything, and they just borrow it from them. So that's why they pay less in taxes than a guy who works at Burger King.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
No, you know, I represented actually, I was one of the first people to represent a trans woman in a custody proceeding about 20 years ago. Were they divorcing themselves? No, they weren't. This was actually a really amazing story. This was like the most manly man I'd ever known. He was jacked. He was like a big dude. And I knew him because he'd actually done work on my house.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
He's an interior decorator, but it doesn't matter. It's a fixer-upper. He made some significant changes. He calls me up one day. He says, can I come in and talk to you? And I said, yeah, sure. And I knew he was married and he had two very young kids. So he comes in. I'm like, oh, shit, he's probably having marital problems. Comes into my office. I said, what's going on?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
He says, look, I think we're splitting up. And then I said, oh, man, I'm sorry to hear it. I said, what's going on? And he goes, well, I... I decided I want to live my life as a woman. I was like, excuse me? This is 20 years ago. Like, this is not part of, like, the cadence, you know? This wasn't a thing. And this was not the dude you would think. Like, there was nothing feminine about this guy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And he was like, yeah, you know, I've always felt this way. And he did. Sure enough, he transitioned pretty quickly. And like many people who transition, initially, he looked like a guy wearing a wig. Like he looked like a dude who was, you know, he'd started hormones.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And when we went to court, the judge actually issued a temporary decision saying that he was allowed to see his kids as long as he dressed like a man when he saw his kids. Wow. Now, if a judge did that now, they'd be thrown off the bench and possibly jailed for a hate crime. But back then, that was considered a perfectly acceptable resolution. Funny PS to that story, by the way.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So it's unbelievable.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Ten years later, I'm walking into the courthouse. And I'm standing there talking to one of my colleagues. And I look off to the far left. And I see a very attractive woman staring at me. And I'm thinking, like, you still got it, Sexton. Look at this. You know, it's the tie. And she's just smiling at me. So I'm like, do I know her? This is weird. So I finish this conversation.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I kind of do the peacocking thing where I'm like, all right, man, catch you later. And I'm like, I'm going to walk past her. So I walk up. Very cute. I said, uh. Hey, how you doing? And she goes, good, how you doing? I go, good. She goes, you don't remember me. And I said, I'm sorry, I don't. I would think I would. And she goes, it's me, Amy. And I was like, Amy? And she goes, Andy?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I went, holy shit. It was that person. It was that person with 10 years of hormones and a bunch of other things.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I guess you could pay capital gains too. But not if you do it the right way. So what happens is these people pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to accountants and tax attorneys to make sure they don't have to pay taxes. But they don't anticipate that when they get divorced, this is just going to blow up in your face. Wait, why? Why is it?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You can still get behind.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I was given a motorcycle once. I had a client who said, you know, he used to like fix up bikes and I used to ride at the time and he said, you know, I'm going to pay you. I just got to sell this bike that I just fixed up. And I was like, oh, what bike is it? And he showed me and I was like, I'll just take the bike. What about cash?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
like just straight people try to pay me in cash all the time you say no i know i'll accept cash but i do tell them like there's rules about how we take cash and then we have to report it if it's over ten thousand dollars but oh i've had people who come in with like three hundred thousand dollars in cash and they're like can i just pay my bill with this and when you say to them yes but i have to then report to the bank where i got it and suddenly they're like no problem i'll bring you a check you know and instead okay so you're by the book when it comes to payment
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You have to be as a lawyer. A lot of lawyers are Wild West with that shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'm in class here. I'm a cheap date. No, I feel like a lot of lawyers... What's interesting is if you read the disciplinary opinions for lawyers, it's really funny because they fuck up lawyers and disbar lawyers for financial stuff really fast. Almost like you read that they publish these decisions. It runs chills through all of us.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
What is your craziest divorce that you lost? I shouldn't say this in public, but I will. Her husband ran her over three times and stabbed her 16 times.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But you'll read it and they're like, this lawyer had sex with three of his clients. He, you know, had a serious cocaine problem and he told three of his clients the cases were resolved when in fact they weren't, you know, suspended for two weeks from the practice. of law. And then they're like, this guy did not report $23 that he received in cash disbarred. And you're like, fuck!
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, the money thing is the biggest thing. So lawyers who play it fast and loose with that stuff, like, you're not going to be around long. Have you ever hooked up with any clients? No. No. And I have to tell you... Have they thrown it at you?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You never circled back after you got the good divorce, got a pay, and I was like, yeah, we could spend his money together.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because it makes it so complicated to figure out where is the money? What is marital? What is outside the scope of the marital estate? What can the judge get their hands on? What can't they get their hands on? So it becomes a really, really tricky, messy thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because... I'm trying to figure out how to say this without offending any of my existing clients. The truth is that if you represent a woman in her divorce, you will never fucking want to date her. You see the worst of this person. That's a good lie. That's a good lie. He's a good lawyer. There's a rule in New York. There's a rule in New York.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Matrimonial lawyers are not, we're the only lawyers that are not allowed to have sex with our clients. It's a rule. Like, if you do a real estate closure for someone, you can fuck them. But if you're a divorce lawyer, a domestic relations lawyer, you cannot have sex with your client for six months after the representation's concluded.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
No, we're saying do circle the block seven months in.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah! Timmy Moore! Whoever wrote that rule, whoever wrote that rule was not a divorce lawyer because you don't even want to fucking talk to these people, much less fuck them. Some of these women too, they have a hero thing they've put on you that is so unhealthy. It's the first time I've started to sweat all over.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, look, it'd probably be fantastic.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not, you know, I'm not. Just in her house. She's got enough money to do better than me at that point. No, but she's really grateful. Yeah, I mean, look, they do. What I'll tell you is your female clients fall in love with you. They do. But it's not you that they're in love with. You're their hero in this situation. Of course.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And so you have to have the presence of mind. It's like when you're a college professor. Yeah, of course. You got 20-something-year-old girls who are coming to your office hours and they're into you. Of course. There's a part of your brain that goes, oh my God, are you kidding me? This is fucking... But the truth is, they think you know shit you don't know.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They think that you're this genius person. You're just a fucking person. Like, so I really don't, like, that's not, they're not in love with you. I think, like, 20 of them you fucked up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, they pay their bill on time, which is nice.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But you got it in your head, too. I mean, see, like in your head. there's, like, these super hot young women I'm representing who, like, now have $100 million and want to fuck me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, like... You're not thinking about the money. It's mostly, like, women in, like, their 50s with, like, they all got that New York, you know, like, surprise cosmetic surgery look.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And, like, this is not... Like, I could do better than that, I think.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know, I'm very blessed. I'm at the place in my career now where I have high net worth and ultra high net worth clients. And you can have a smaller number of clients who you give a lot more personalized attention to. Because anybody who's at like a certain level of net worth, they are used to being weighted on and they're used to their professionals. Like they've not romanticized a lawyer.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know? Somebody's second wife?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They should get a prenup. If there's a prenup. Oh, they lock them in. Yeah, they're smart enough to lock them in, I say to the three fucking guys who are married and don't have prenups.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Should he get a prenup?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, look, what I'll tell you is, I mean, first of all, I don't think anybody wants their marriage to continue forever. their spouse to stay in the marriage because they don't want to give up half their shit. That's like a bad incentive. But you want someone to stay married to you because they want to be married to you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They think you add value to their life, that they enjoy your company, that more often than not, they're glad they're with you, whatever. Any number of justifications. But to say, well, I'm with him because I don't want to have to give away half my shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, we got it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I think the easiest prenup is the one that I would encourage most people to have, which is I call it the yours, mine, and ours. If it's in your name, asset or liability, you keep it. If it's in her name, asset or liability, she keeps it. If it's in joint names, you split it 50-50. That's it. Clean. Here's what I'll tell you. All three of you have a prenup. The government wrote it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
The state legislature wrote your fucking prenup. And by the way, like, you think that's a good idea?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You ever walk into the DMV and go, these people should be in charge of everything. Like, they're great at it. This is really good. No, the reality is, is like the government is the worst fucking people to write your prenup.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You've signed up for a rule set that you don't even know. I don't know. You bought a house, right? You bought a house. You had to sign a HUD one, a lead paint disclosure. You got all this fucking information about the loan. You got married. You didn't get a fucking pamphlet. You just did the most legally significant thing you're going to do in your whole life other than die.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And you have no fucking clue what happened. Done. The first time. The first time. It's called big dick energy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because my attitude is, look, all kidding aside, every marriage has a prenup. It's either one that's written by the government or it's written by the two people that like each other theoretically more than the other 8 billion other options, right? Right. So who is better to come up with a rule set than those two people? And that's all the prenup is.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, they know lots of lawyers. So they look at lawyers like you'd look at, like, a plumber. Like, you know, there's a lot of people that do this. You work for me. And, you know, they're used to it. So you have to give them a certain level of attention. But unlike a plumber, like, you do get to yell at them.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
A prenup is just saying, look, there's going to come a time like if you get married, it's smart to say to your spouse when you're getting along still.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
We're going to get in a fight at some point. I promise. It's probably my fault. I'm going to say some dumb shit. I say dumb shit. It happens. Yeah. When we get in that fight. What should that look like? Do you need a minute? Should I give you some space? Like if I force you to talk about it, is it gonna turn into a whole thing? Or do we need to take care of this now?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Cause you don't wanna go to bed angry. Like I wanna know, cause the worst time to learn how to fight is when you're in a fucking fight. Like that's the worst time to learn how to do a fight. So that's all the prenup is. Prenup is saying, look, we're getting along right now. We have an abundance of goodwill between the two of us.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
if God forbid in the highly unlikely 56% the highly unlikely chance that we would get divorced, what would that look like? And by the way, there's a way to say it that I think has a tremendous amount of big dick energy, which is to say, you know what? You're my woman. I want you to feel safe. You can't feel loved unless you feel safe.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And the way I want you to feel safe, the way I want you to feel safe is I want you to feel safe from everyone, including me. So what is it?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's a conversation you got to have. Like, look, you know this as a married man. If you can't have difficult conversations with your spouse, don't get fucking married. Like, part of being married is having hard conversations, talking about tough stuff.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But just to push back on that thought a little bit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
what I would say to you is, okay, but there's gotta be a stop loss somewhere in there, right? Like there's gotta be some sense of like, what is that obligation? Because look, at the end of the day, we all owe each other things when we make decisions like this, right? Like in some ways, in some ways, You wouldn't have the success you have if it wasn't for your wife. Absolutely. She supported you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Sure. Okay, absolutely. Your wife wouldn't be the person she is if it wasn't for her mother. Sure. So what do you owe her mother? How much? I think at least half. Okay. Her mother wouldn't be the person she was if it wasn't for her mother.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Look, I think fundamentally... Yeah, they need half of her.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know, I just watched your special, you know, and I got a huge kick out, especially as a divorce lawyer, the shit we laugh at. But when you said the thing about, you know, like... We made a baby. We made a baby and you're like, oh, just like we made this money. Like it's our money. Like, okay, look, at the end of the day, we know you earn more than her, right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Okay, so why do we have to be afraid to say that out loud? Like marriage is an economy. That's not a dirty word. An economy is we're exchanging value. We're giving and receiving. And an economy does not require that everyone gives and receives the exact same fucking thing. You can say like Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Without Steve Wozniak, Steve Jobs would have a lot of cool ideas he couldn't do shit with. And if it wasn't for Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak would be a dude in his garage making shit but have no vision. So together they brought something to fruition. Same thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
for reasons that I think we could fix as a culture. And that is that why can't we be on, like, I'm a fan of honesty. I'm a fan of just being, just say a quiet part out loud. Like you give me like, cause here's the problem. Here's the problem with modern marriage from a man's perspective, as far as I'm concerned. Most of the marriages I know, okay, the man provides financially, he protects, right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
He, you know, he's also there to be part of the family dynamic, taking care of kids, doing the things that he can do. What does the woman bring? She brings love, affection, a little bit of sweetness at the end of the day, you know, sex. She brings, you know, taking care of kids.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
OK, if you get divorced, every single thing on that side of the man equation, he can be compelled to do by the power of the state. And if he fails to do it, they can put him in jail. nothing on that other side, the female side, is enforceable at law. The court cannot order her to be nice to you, to fuck you, to be a wonderful mother to your children. She can't. They can't force that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So when you have a contract where only one side of it is enforceable with the power of the state and the other side is not, my attitude is why don't we then just have an honest conversation about what we could both be afraid of and what value we want to attribute. But the court can't
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
force you to protect your wife and the court can't force you to make economically they can force you to they can force you to protect somebody you can tell like i've had i've had you know cases where the court says okay um this person needs a security detail if it's a celebrity they say these kids are going to need security for when they go to school things like the average person like can the court say you have to work to a dad well what the courts say is lincoln freed the slaves like if you're a you know if you're a uh uh if you're any a
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, I mean, the people you should never lie to are your doctor and your lawyer. Because like everything you tell us, every single thing you tell us is protected by privilege. And there's absolutely our only jobs to protect you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You notice I didn't look old. I appreciate that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So what the courts say is like, if you're a brain surgeon who now I'm getting divorced, I decided I want to be a fucking yoga teacher. The court goes, look, Lincoln freed the slaves. We can't make you be a brain surgeon. You're just going to be a brain. You're going to be a yoga teacher who has the financial obligations of a brain surgeon. So they impute an income to you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And they'll say, whatever you do for a living, it's fine. We can't force you to work, but we can give you financial obligations commensurate with your earning capacity, even if you're not earning at that capacity, which is actually really fucked up sometimes. Like I had a client once who was an air traffic controller.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And if you know anything about air traffic controllers, like you can have a high school education, be an air traffic controller, make like three, four hundred grand a year. Wow. You can do really, really well. Well, this guy, his mother passed away. He was very close with her. He had a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression from it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And he had to go on on medication, psychiatric medication to like sort of deal with it. You're not allowed to be on benzodiazepines or certain psychiatric medications while you're in air traffic control. So he was terminated from his position. The next best job this guy could get, he made about 50 grand a year. But the court was like, no, no, no. You're earning capacity is $350,000 a year.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That's what you made. And we were like, judge, what job can this guy get where he's going to make that amount of money? So it can sometimes, this is how guys end up in jail for not paying.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So what do you do? he suffered basically yeah I mean he had a very unfair child support award placed against him he ended up in jail a couple of times it was a really because he was like selling drugs or something to make them no he just was not he didn't pay his support it's illegal to not pay child support you can be put in jail
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
We did after a certain amount of time, and then it was granted. The judge sort of didn't buy that this was not done intentionally. We joke in our industry that, you know, we call it sudden income deficiency syndrome, that it hits like 9 out of 10 divorcing men. Like, guys are doing really great, and then all of a sudden they're getting divorced, and they're like, but this year's going to be bad.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'm not going to do well this year.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They're like, yeah, but we're having a bad year. Yeah. It happens a lot that judges tend to look at people and go, you know, something tells me that if you're saying you're suddenly not doing well financially and it happens to be when you're getting divorced, there might be, you know, it's not a coincidence.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It depends on how bold the judge is. I mean, what I'll tell you is a big, I'll give you some free legal advice. If you ever have a child support obligation against you, which I hope you never do, and you have to pay it and you don't have the money to pay it. Like if you're supposed to give her $2,000 a month and you don't have $2,000, don't give her $1,000. Give her $1,226.37.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I literally say that. I mean, I don't pull any punches on it. But what I usually will say to them just to kind of take it to a place that they can understand is I'll say, look, at the beginning of this relationship, I want you to understand, I represent people who have been victims of domestic violence. I represent perpetrators of domestic violence.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because then when we get in front of the judge, we can say, judge, I had $1,000. I borrowed $200 from my cousin. I found $32 under the mats of my car. This is everything I have. Because what people do is if you gave $1,000, why didn't you give $1,001? If you gave $1,500, like a round number, it just looks like you're full of shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But yeah, I mean, look, courts don't always, again, because judges are human. There are some judges, they will put you right the fuck in.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
in jail i've had clients let off in orange you know where the judge says look you got a week to pay this child support and if you don't bring a toothbrush when you come back to court because i'm putting you away and they'll put some they'll lock guys up they have what's called weekend jail where on friday after work you check in and you stay in jail until monday morning and then monday worked so you can work and pay your child support yeah why uh why does alimony exist
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You ever want to take a feminism out of a woman?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So alimony or spousal support or spousal maintenance, every state calls it something different, is a payment that's made from one former spouse to another. And it's intended to either rehabilitate their earning capacity so that they can kind of get on their feet or it's to roughly approximate the marital lifestyle for a certain period of time.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So it's very rarely what we call non-durational, meaning like you broke it, you bought it forever, you owe her the marital lifestyle. There was a time where that was the way it was done, but it hasn't been that way for many, many years now.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And there's a wide disparity in your incomes.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Or some approximation of it for some period of time. Got it. So the steel man argument for it is the following. There are economic decisions you make during your marriage and you make them as a couple, right? So it is very difficult for everybody to be Beyonce. Somebody's got to be Destiny's Child. You know, you can't all be the, you know, Lionel Richie. Somebody's got to be the comedians.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I represent people who are, by any objective standard, amazing parents. And I represent people who just want to put the kids in the middle for leverage for child support purposes. And I am no one's moral compass. I'm a weapon. And a weapon in the hands of a hero, right, is going to protect people. And a weapon in the hands of the villain is going to cause chaos.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So what you do is you say, okay, look, you're the star right now. I'm going to stand back. I'm going to take care of home. I'm going to do my thing. In the law, we call it diminished lifetime earning capacity. Which basically means if a woman takes her late 20s or her 30s off from the workforce, because that's when you have kids. You have kids in your 30s, kids in your 40s.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Very hard for her to get back into the workforce. And when she gets back into the workforce, she's behind in the race. Like, if you join the New York City Marathon halfway through, you're not going to finish with everybody else, no matter how fucking fast you are.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So in the law, we call that diminished lifetime earnings.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's lower, and it'll never catch up. Because by the time she reaches the age she would have been at 40, she's 60. So she's closer to retirement. So what you're doing is you're sort of saying, okay, we're going to compensate for that. That's the argument for it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So what's really interesting is without realizing it, you've actually just joined the legislative committee of the New York State Bar Association because a few years ago. Yeah. The domestic relations law was actually modified to reflect exactly that. OK, I think where they said what they call it is the the the income creating capacity of assets received in equitable distribution.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
When I started my career 25 years ago, that wasn't a factor. And then a lot of lawyers, myself included, were like, wait, she's getting $20 million. put it in treasuries at 5%. She's got an income stream. So the courts and the legislature caught up and now they say, yeah, if you're getting like, I just did a divorce where there was an $800 million marital estate.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
She actually had the audacity to ask for Alamo. The judge looked at it and went, listen, you're getting $400 million worth of assets. You're going to be all right. You know, we're not, that can kick off income if you want it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Let's just call that it. Russian women, in my experience professionally, they get ice cold. When you're married to a Russian woman, there's nothing she won't do for you. And when you're divorcing a Russian woman, there is nothing she won't do to you. Like she will your right up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That's where a lot of them came about. And then the law is very slow to change because the way that our law works is it's sort of a living thing that modifies as times and standards change.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And by the way, to bring it back to where we started here, that's why I'm a fan of prenups.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because if you're a fair person and your soon-to-be spouse is a fair person, couldn't you have this conversation?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But the weapon is kind of neutral, right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That's to me the best argument because here's the other problem. Is there another contract that you've ever heard of? that they can change the terms of the contract without even fucking telling you? That's interesting. Like, imagine if you bought or leased a car. Yeah, this is really interesting.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And they said, oh, by the way, the state just decided we're going to change how the interest rate works and when you have to make the payments. And you're not allowed to go, oh, well then I'd like to opt out and return the car. And they go, oh, no, no, no, you can't do that, sorry. Like, so there's rules. There's a prenup that was written for all three of your marriages. By the government.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, obviously, a lot of my clients, I can't disclose who they are.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That can be changed unilaterally by people other than you and your wife. and affect you forever. So to me, my attitude is, listen, you could do a prenup one way and then three years later do an addendum and modify it. You can make it a living document. It's just like you make your will. You make your will at one point. You make it again five years later. You change it. You change it frequently.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And by the way, not an unfair concept.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Oh, I've represented people who are, you know, by any objective metric are, you know, malignant narcissists. I mean, unfortunately, the traits that make people very successful, particularly in high finance, which is what New York is really like. My colleague Laura Wasser is in L.A. She represents like every celebrity you've ever seen. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I represent a lot of people in finance who could buy those celebrities 10 times over, but would walk past you on the street. You never knew who they were. Did you represent any current or former presidents? No, no presidents yet. Yeah, no presidents yet. They all seem to keep it together, right?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Clint and I got my fingers crossed. How do you come to us?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah. So so you have that thought. Like so. So first of all, yes, I'm I'm I'm a sensitive person. I don't think I could do this job well if I wasn't. Because to do this job well, it's just like, I think it's like being a comic. I think you have to have a sensitivity. You have to be able to read what's going on with this audience.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Most wedding ceremonies is the gives away the bride. It's symbolic of things that most women would find terribly offensive. But because we put all these cultural things around it, it's like, oh, yes, buying a woman an engagement ring. Like how many women have you met that are so feminist that they go, I'm not accepting you giving me some expensive thing as a way of purchasing. Is it there?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Fuck that. You could be a Bella Abzug feminist and you would still be like, oh, yeah, no, I want a big fucking rock and it better not be lab made.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And there's no problem with that. Of course. But I don't then create a whole fiction as to why this is good for society.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And you have to know what's working, what's not, and be able to shift, right? So it's the same exact thing. It's just my audience is a judge. And I'm really here, like our job's the same. We're here to manipulate people's emotional states.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
If it doesn't go well. What my attitude is, by the way, and if you want to buy into any of the antiquated gunk, you have every right to. But I think you and this person who you've picked out of eight groups billion other options. Yes. You're saying this is my person. Yeah. And who is more qualified than the two of you to agree on the rules?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
To me, that is the point. Because that's a conversation worth having. Even if you don't end up doing a prenup. Having a conversation about, hey, what do we owe each other? What does this mean to you? What do you expect of me? Because I want to meet your expectations.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I mean, don't you want to know that before you marry this fucking guy?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Your job is to manipulate people. You want them to laugh, relax, and enjoy. I want the other side to be scared. I want my client to feel safe. I want the judge to like my client and hate the other side. So I'm here just manipulating everybody's emotional state. And to do that well, I have to be very open, receptive, empathetic, and sensitive. The downside of that is, yeah, I'm sensitive.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Or if she says to you, well, you know, if you earn less than X number of dollars, well, I'd like to have that conversation before we've signed up for that contract.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Saying I do. isn't saying I can, it's saying I'll try. At best. At best. You know, like at best, what you say when you say I do is you're saying I'm making you a promise. And if you're not fucking three, you know people break promises, right? So really what you're saying when you make a promise is I'm going to really try. I'm going to try my best. I'm going to try my best.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'm going to try my best to love you. I'm going to try my best to take everything that you bring to this relationship and see it in good faith. And I'm not going to attribute negative intentions. I'm going to cheer for you. And you're going to cheer for me. And I'm going to see your blind spots. And when I have to call you out, I'm going to do it with love.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I'm going to try to say to you, babe, I think this is going to hurt you long term, what you're doing right now. Yeah. What is more beautiful than that? Who would disagree with that? But again, like why not call those terms out in advance and have that conversation?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And the government, by the way, is changing it, but they're changing it the way the government changes things, which is way late in the game. So it's like they don't catch up. Like there's a reason why the IRS's lawyers and the tax lawyers that get paid millions of dollars, the tax lawyers that get paid millions of dollars are always four steps ahead of these fucking guys.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like the top of the class goes to work for these firms. Why? Because they have every incentive to do that. So for me saying, you know what? I trust the government so much. That I know they'll change the law to protect me. That's the most naive thing I've ever heard a human being say.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And this is the mistake. People come into this and they think prenups were designed for wealthy people only, right? And by the way, there's a reason why. Because look, there's times where a person comes to the marriage, they have a tremendous amount of assets.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And they say, look, I've got a ton of money. You know, if in an alternate universe, you are you now at your level of success. Yes. And you meet a lovely young woman and you say, you know what? Let's get it. Let's do this thing. Yeah. If you get divorced in three months, you should get half of everything. That's fucking crazy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, and there's still very complicated things, which is how guys like me make a lot of money. Because what happens is we have what's called transmutation, which is if you had a separate property asset, meaning something you owned before the marriage- And then you get married and you mix an asset that you earned during the marriage or income earned during the marriage with your premarital money.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yes. You turn that the separate into marital. So we have what's called the marital presumption, which is basically so like think of it. I always tell clients, think about it like, you know, a your separate property. Premarital money is like a bowl of water. And marital money is like a drop of red dye. You drop that in. You can't take it back out. The whole thing's pink.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'm empathetic. I feel a lot of it. I represent the client, but I also represent the system. And I don't always believe in the client, but I believe in the system.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And you know I get paid a lot of money per hour to make that argument.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And then the other lawyer gets paid a bunch of money by the hour to say, no, no, no, there was no donative intent, there was no consideration. So the reality is, is why are we making money on this? Why couldn't the two of you in advance just sit down and say, hey, you know what? Let's put aside some, like, let's decide the rule set. If we put it in your name, it's this.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
If we put it in joint sets, we'll split it 50-50. If we use premarital money, we'll do it this way. Have that fucking conversation.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And by the way, people that don't have as much are the ones who really have to worry about how do we divide it and protect it. Because if you got hundreds of millions of dollars- Give her 20 million. Right. But if you're in a situation where like most people, you're kind of basically getting by, well, now you're gonna have two electric bills and two cable bills and two everything.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I just don't think it makes it unromantic. Like, we all know life ends. Does that mean life's not, like, did you ever go like, well, I'm going to die someday? so I might as well just die now. No, the beauty is going through the press. You're watching a movie and someone says, oh, the movie's gonna end. You don't go, well, fuck it, I'm not even gonna watch it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I was talking about it on Mark's show some time ago when I represented a guy who was a pimp. Like literally a pimp. That was his job. Like he actually was, you know, I mean, he had other he's in federal prison now for guns, but he he was an atrocious human being. He was an abuser. He was.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
No, the beauty is to watch the movie and know that this is a temporary thing. Look, every marriage ends. It ends in death or in divorce. Your marriage will end, I promise. I hope so. That's a weird thing to say to a person. I hope your marriage ends in death. But I do. I hope that's how your marriage ends. Because the only two options is it's gonna end in death or divorce.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So you have life insurance. No one ever would look at you and go, you're so morbid with that life insurance. Like, why would you think you have to do that? I'm protecting these people that I love. Like, I know something's good. Okay, so what is wrong with two people? When I was early in my career, I decided, I thought, you know what? They had these wedding fairs.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Have you ever seen, I don't know if any of you were forced to do, you chose well if you didn't have to do this.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You did well with the women in your lives.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
This is like a whole Indian thing. You ever want to see sad men? about that thing. Like, they're just like, hold, you know, it's like if you took her to the car show. Like, she's just like, what the fuck are we doing here? So, you know, but these things, they have photographers, the cake people, the invitations, the little sweats, all of the, the whole wedding industrial complex.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
these fucking people they're making they're monsters they're full-on monsters all right because they convince her it's like you're you're you're actually gonna have a wedding and not give away scented candles you don't care about your family i guess you don't have to have the scented candles but i went and i said hey listen um can i get a table Can I have a table? Like you pay like 10 grand.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Can I have a table? Just for pre-nups. Just for pre-nups. I said, and I promise I'll do it very respectfully and say, hey, congratulations on your engagement. Let's talk about pre-nups. They wouldn't take my fucking money. They wouldn't let me in the door because, and why? Because there's a fucking fantasy they're selling people and don't let reality get into the fantasy. And see for me,
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I think I'm actually a true romantic because I like reality. And my attitude is I like somebody who looks at the situation and goes, you know what? Whether we win, whether we lose, let's play this fucking game. Let's do this thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Let's shoot for it. This is a game we can't win. We're either going to die and lose each other or we're going to divorce and lose each other. But fuck. Fuck it. I want to take this ride.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I was up against an adversary who was an unskilled attorney and very like it was all this woman could afford. And I absolutely ran her over and we walked out of court. And the guy pat me on the back and he said, man, one good lawyer's worth 20 stick-up men. And I just remember thinking, like, I want to go home and just take a shower right now because that just feels dirty. That's crazy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
25 years I've been doing prenups, and I always end up having a good relationship with the person at the end of the transaction. Because unlike a divorce, it's not protracted. It's relatively inexpensive. Yeah. I've probably only had to do three divorces, four divorces of people I didn't prenup.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You'll never know. And here's why. A prenup's not filed anywhere. Like I have celebrity clients who I did their prenup. That'd be really impressive. And they are doing interviews saying, oh, we don't have a prenup. And I'm like, yeah, you fucking do. It's in my safe. I wrote it. But they tell people because why? It's one of those things. Everything I need. So here's the cake.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Oh, here's this ticket out flowers. No one's ever like, here's the signing the pre.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know, it's all social stigma. And there's no reason we have to normalize prenups. We have to democratize prenups. We have to be like, by the way, prenups are the, they're, they are, they are so unbelievably easy for attorneys to draft. Like, no one is making a bunch of money on prenups. Like, we make our money on litigation. We make money on the way out, not on the way in.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So the truth is, like, there is no reason why it has to be reserved for the wealthy. This is something that can be democratized. There can be an access to justice. People could go, even with AI technology that's out there now. Listen, I've been involved in a startup called Trusted Prenup. And our thing is going to be, we are going to democratize prenups.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's coming soon because AI has made it possible now for there to be like a tree menu where people go in and go, okay, what do we want to do with Alamo? Okay, what do we want to do when it comes to our estates? What do we want to do? And you can just pick and put it together, spit that document out. And by the way, it's not filed anywhere. You don't have to tell anybody that you did it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It can just be a discussion between you and this partner that you tell the most intimate things to, you have the most intimate experiences with. Why can't you have honest conversations about that?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Who is this? Is that last week? Did you have different haircuts? You're like, no, that was a rerun, but it was a good one.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I texted Mark this morning. And I said, I was like, you got to tell your wife that you're spending the day with a divorce lawyer. You'll definitely get something this morning.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, what I'll say is I think it's irresponsible to marry without a prenup. I'm not again. Listen, if you people want to do dumb shit like you want to do some dumb shit, do some dumb shit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, what's even more amazing about marriage, if you want to take the car analogy a little bit further, like, all right, so you get married in your 20s or your 30s, right? All right, when you're 20 years old, if I said to you, you can have any car in the world, what car do you want? You'd be like Ferrari, Lamborghini, whatever, Aston Martin, anything. It might be a muscle car, okay? Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You're and then after you bought it, I said, by the way, it's the only car you're ever going to have your whole fucking life. You'd be like, wait, what? Because I don't want to be 80 getting out of a Ferrari. Like I'm good. And if I have kids, where am I going to put the car seat? Marriage is you are choosing this person.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And theoretically, you are saying in your 20s or 30s, you are saying this person for the rest of my life. Now, again, at best. It's like those trees that grow next to each other and then become entwined. And it's like, they grow together and they, they become something different, but they become something different together.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I think you have to. And move on. I think you have to because, look, what I'll tell you is the truth has a way of coming out, sometimes despite my best efforts.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So like, that's amazing when it's done the right way, but, but to suggest that like, Oh, it'll never change. We're always going to be like we were when we fell in love. That's foolish.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I've learned a lot by being a divorce lawyer about what keeps people together. What I've learned, I would say more than anything else is just pay attention. People get divorced the same way they go bankrupt, very slowly and then all at once.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I got really self-conscious. I know regretting the marriage face and you don't have to.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, well, that's what ended up happening with that guy, is he ended up in federal prison. I mean, I think the truth has a way of coming out. I have to tell my clients that sometimes. Like, look, I can throw up a lot of smoke and mirrors, but shit comes out. Like, the truth comes out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
The thought that someone can change the terms and conditions and you can't opt out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, and that's the funny thing because like, you know, a lot of like... You know, I did an interview with Matt Walsh a bunch of months ago on The Daily Wire, and he was all about, like, no-fault divorce, no-fault divorce is the worst. What does that mean? So New York is a no-fault state. Most states are now no-fault states, which means you don't have to prove why you're getting divorced.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You don't have to have fault. It used to be you had to show adultery, you had to show incurable mental illness, you had to call abandonment. So it was great for lawyers because we had to, like, before we even got into the real fight, we had to get into a fight of, are you allowed to get divorced? So the states eventually said, look, this is stupid.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
If one person in the marriage has decided the marriage is over, guess what? The marriage is over. So now we're no fault. Well, a lot of people on the far right, Matt Walsh, Ben Shapiro, it was like their big flavor of the moment for a little while was they were saying no fault divorce is the worst thing in the whole wide world.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, like it's kind of like saying, you know, we got to get rid of all these emergency rooms because like everybody who's in there has broken bones. So people must be breaking bones so they can go to the emergency room. Like that's fucking ridiculous. Like, no, they didn't break it. Like this is just there to solve the problem. They have to pretend to care about it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
What I said to Matt is, look, why wouldn't we have, why would you have barriers to exit? Why don't you have barriers to entry? Like, why don't you have, you have to take a class or you have to sit down with a person who went through an ugly divorce or like Catholics, they have the pre-cana where you got to sit down and you talk to couples who've been married for 30, 40 years.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And the guy says, look, you're going to have to say, I'm sorry for some shit. You're not sorry. That's part of being married. And you go, all right, cool. I can live with that. Like have, have some barriers to entry. Like you, you, if you, I adopted a dog from ACC in New York city, you know how much fucking paperwork I had to fill out. They wanted to know my third grade English teacher.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
name like they wanted to know like did mrs soible is she think you'd be good but she didn't see me in 40 years you need to have a you want a piss test like i'm adopting a dog you were gonna kill in two days like just give me the fucking dog get married 50 bucks you can pay all this in vegas and you're married all right guys let's take a break for a second i genuinely want to tell you guys about the best protein bar on the planet okay i i mean this sincerely this right here the david bar okay
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's called potentially adverse interests.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, yeah. And I can't say, well, because here's the thing, what the lawyer is saying, and they don't say it in artful ways, but what lawyers are saying in that situation is you have potentially adverse interests. More for you is less for her, less for you is more for her, right? But see, again, this is all stuff that technology has made easier.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So people come to me and they go, look, my fiance and I want to talk to you about a prenup. I go, look, I'm not allowed to counsel you both, but here's what we can do. Let's do it via Zoom, record the entire thing. She will hear everything. You can play it for whoever you want, including your fiance.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I can't give her legal advice, but I can give you legal advice and you can play for her every word I say to you so that she doesn't feel intimidated. But see, this is the reality is we can do it, solve for the actual problem. So what you're saying is you're absolutely right.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
We're taking an adversarial system and you're hiring lawyers whose job theoretically is to protect their individual client at the expense of the other, which by the way, one of the things I'm least proud of my colleagues for is we're so used to dealing with warring tribes in a divorce that then when we're doing a prenup, We approach it the same way.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So there should be a different approach. And there can be. We just have to rethink the way we do.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Totally useful.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But why can't you go to... It's a much easier sell. And by the way, I think what you said earlier is absolutely correct.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's an opportunity for people to have a really important discussion.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There are lawyers who work collaboratively who'll say, let's all meet together. We each have a lawyer. There's people that work in mediation to mediate a prenup. There's a lot of ways.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That feels amazing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There's so many ways to do it. But again, we're just used to doing it one way. We've handed it off to an adversarial system. And so to a person with a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Like to a person who argues for a living, everything looks like an invitation to have a fucking argument. You know, I get paid to be paranoid. Like my mother tells me she loves me. I ask for references. Me too.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like that's my job, because I see the worst in people all day long. That's heavy. You know, so what you have to do is you have to get to a place where you go, okay, look, this is a conversation. Like I guarantee when you and your wife did that estate planning, You probably had to have some conversations about like, hey, something happens. Like, who watches the kids?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, and what do we do about this?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But I tell you, I bet that that deepens the level of connection, intimacy the two of you have. And by the way, doing that estate planning, Like we are never more alive than when we're in the presence of death. Like when you stop and think about, holy shit, if I lost this person, like, what would that feel like? You want to hug that person 50 times more.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I'll give you a great one. I'm a dog person. I love dogs. So I had a woman come in and she said to me, you know, described this situation of like coercive control, domestic violence she'd been in for ages. And this guy was controlling, abusive in the worst worst possible ways, like insidious ways, but also was an incredibly charming narcissist. So like no one would ever suspect.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So to me, like early on in a relationship, when you're still madly in love with each other and you're about to sign up for this, you know, I'm marrying you, it's going to be you, you, and only you. That's the time to say, you know what? If we ever hurt each other, if we ever what what do we owe each other? How do we handle that? Like, how do I love you? How do I make you feel safe?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That's a great time to have that conversation.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There's mediators. You can go to an attorney and say to the attorney, look, I just want to have an educational conversation about this. I don't want you to draft a prenup necessarily. Again, I think you're going to see in the coming years, I intend to be part of it, you're going to see more of the democratization of prenups.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because I think the younger generation, like I'm older than all of you, and I have to tell you, one of the things, like I look at my 20-something-year-old sons, and I have a lot of hope for the future because I think that You're looking at a situation and going, OK, but why do we do it that way? Like, why do we do it that we don't have to do it that way?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And it's OK for people to say, hey, you know what? We can do it however we want to do it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But I'll tell you something. Look, your career has been characterized by being somewhat iconoclastic. Like, I've been a fan since the 441 days.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. And I'm sure when you said, I'm going to put this out myself. Yeah. Some people who genuinely care about you and genuinely wanted to see you succeed said, dude, don't do it that way. You'll never make a dime. And by the way, they were not trying to mislead you. They weren't trying to hurt you. It's not that they didn't trust you. They were looking at it and going,
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Dude, I don't want to see it go wrong for you. Okay, so people can, in very good faith, give very fucking bad advice, right? Because if that's the right way to do it, they did it fucking wrong. Oh, it reflects their own decision. They did it wrong, right? Because if you go, no, no, I'm going to do it this way, and you knock it out of the park like you did, they go, well, what the fuck was I doing?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Why did I do it this other way? And the answer is because it was peer pressure from dead people.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And yet, and I don't mean to use you as an example, I'm not picking on you. Please. You had the intelligence to think of this and the balls to try it. Yeah. Okay?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And yet... when it comes to getting married. There was never the thought of like, oh, you know, why am I gonna let the government impose a rule set? Why wouldn't we figure out a way to do it? Now, why? I don't blame you for that. I think it's just never been a conversation we have as a society.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Right. And listen, I think there's a beauty to that. Like, I wish I knew no astronomy when the stars appear. Like, I think, you know, like, I liked it when I was like, look at the pretty lights in the sky. When you're like, oh, actually, that's something that flamed out a million years ago with lights just reaching. I'm like, oh, fuck.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like if you said to anybody, this guy was an abuser, they'd be like, him?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I think there's something very beautiful about not knowing this stuff. But again, I am a fan. Like, I think the truth is actually even more beautiful. Yeah. Like, I think when two people say, I'm going to give you the ability to hurt me. Like, I love you enough. Because I have to tell you something. I think it's fucking insane to love anything. I really do. Like a dog, a kid.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, you're going to lose it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Everything you love, you're going to lose someday. So to love something is to accept the inevitability that it's going to break your fucking heart someday. And yet we do it anyway because it's the best thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So to me, that makes it more beautiful to say, you know what? If you break my fucking heart, it will have been worth it. It will have been worth it because we got to do this. Sold. Sold.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And she told me her story. She said, I'm afraid nobody's going to believe me. He said to me, no one will ever believe you. You know, I'll make sure you're penniless. I'll do whatever I have to do to like crush you. And and I'm listening to this and I've handled a lot of domestic violence cases before. So I was like, OK, look, the system has a way of sorting these things out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Who, like, treats the... Those are a bunch of different questions you just threw off me. Yeah. I mean, what I'll say is, like, the Russians... Russians, there's, you know, Chekhov's plays are dark for a fucking reason. Like the winters are long. Like Russians come in sometimes to professional hit. Like they get cold.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
The husband to the wife you're saying or the wife to the husband? The wife more so even. Russian women are, we used to call them the red menace sometimes in the courthouse. Oh yeah, Russian women. Because like they're, I mean, God, it's really hard to say. I mean, you know, like the stereotypes, sometimes stereotypes are a real time saver. Let's just call that out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And anyone who's ever dated a Latina woman, they will burn your fucking house down and then ask who Maria was who called. And you're like, that's from work. She's like, well, you should have told me that. And you're like, before you burned the fucking house down? So that can be bad. Russian women, in my experience professionally, not personally, professionally, they...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
They will, when you are now the enemy, when you have crossed that line, they get fucking ice cold. And there is nothing, when you're married to a Russian woman, there is nothing she won't do for you. And when you're divorcing a Russian woman, there is nothing she won't do to you. Like, she will fuck your shit right up.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Oh, I mean, they'll surveil the guy. Like, they'll have people follow him. They'll blow him up to the IRS. I've had a couple of people blow him up to the IRS. Yeah. And they'll shoot first and ask questions later. Yeah. Like they'll they'll you know, they'll they'll call the IRS and go, by the way, I called the not I'm thinking about. So I can go. That's a terrible idea. Like, nope.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And let's talk about what we can prove and what we can't. And she said, you know, I have something. She said, we have a puppy. We have a six month old black lab puppy. And the ring camera of our doorbell caught him just beating the shit out of this six month old puppy. And I was like, and you have that footage? And she was like, yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I was like, okay, like give me everything you have and I'll take a look. And I sat there that night and I watched this footage. And as a dog lover, like I was shaking. I mean, it was to listen to it, to hear it, like to watch this guy just beating this puppy. And the puppy like is a puppy, it's tails wagging. It's trying to like kind of get away from him.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And like, it doesn't understand what's going on. And I just remember looking at it and thinking like, I'm gonna torture this fucking guy to death. And I called her the next day and I said, I'll take your case. And she was like, well, I'm worried I can't afford you. I'm like, I'll cut my hourly rate in half. I was like, I just want a piece of this fucking guy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
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Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
or maybe you're the fucking problem yeah yeah and so i think it's worthwhile to have conversations when things start about how they end period what's the dumbest reason you've ever seen for a divorce just on a personal basis really the dumbest one stupid people we had a lot of like weird political divorces since 2016 no way wow oh yeah people that were like yay watches fox news i'm out
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like you watch his Newsmax, I'm gone. Like a lot of like, he voted for Trump.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I had, I mean, I've always said the saddest one I ever had was this guy was in his like late eighties and he left his wife of like 50 or 60 years for a 50 something year old woman. that he was having an affair with. And what was saddest about it to me was not that this like 60 year marriage was ending. It was that, holy shit, I'm still gonna be led around by my dick when I'm in my 80s.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like I legit thought like, I'm not going to be chained to an idiot forever. Like I thought in my eighties, like a beautiful woman would walk by and I would be like, oh, a human being. Like I would just, and instead I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to be 86 and still want to fucking chase skirt. Like that's fucked. Like we're never going to be free.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So that to me was like, yeah, people get, I mean, people get divorced for some crazy shit. What's the most petty thing you saw in a divorce? I once had a divorce that was, there was a $25 million marital estate. They'd burned several hundred thousand dollars each in council fees. We'd gone through a bunch of litigation. We managed to settle the case.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And the only thing we were down to was the division of personal property. And we couldn't agree on who got a $45 toaster oven. And the settlement blew up. Wow. The settlement blew up. Wow. $45 fucking dollar.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I actually did that. I actually said, I'm on Amazon right now. Prime delivery. I will buy everyone in this room this toaster. If we could just sign the fucking deal. Because it's never about the toaster. It wasn't about the fucking toaster. I mean, I have a lot of stories, but I will tell you this is one you'll appreciate. So I had a client who was a devout fundamentalist Christian.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And he was later convicted, actually, of molesting kids and went to jail. But that's a side note.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, it's all of you. It's all of you. But he was a great, you know, he was a client that was, he had a lot of money. And we had worked very hard to negotiate a settlement of his case. And the day comes to sign the settlement and to do what's called a voir dire, which is where the judge says to each party, do you understand the settlement? Did you agree to it? Are you under duress?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You know, so these are the steps. But like, it was great. I got him a great deal, like a great deal. Like this was way better than it would have been at trial. And he didn't have to go through the trial. And this was great for him. And he meets me at the courthouse the morning of it. And he says, Jim, I need to talk to you. I spoke to God last night. I prayed on it. Oh boy.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And God said to me that I should not, that I should take it to trial. And I said, that is a terrible idea. And I explained to him again, here's all the ways that we're getting value here. Here's all the things, this is what it should be. And he said, no, I'm sorry. I prayed on it. And the Lord has said to me, you know, so of course it fucking blew up. The whole thing went haywire.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
That's pretty good. So I took on the case and... You know, I I it was like a professional hit.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Okay. At 11. I talked to him. And he said, Jim, my son in whom I am well pleased. My blessings upon you. By the way, are you going to see Steve later? When you do, tell him, forget that shit I said earlier.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
You could have just said, I talked to God a half hour later and he said, take the fucking deal.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So if that ever happens to me again.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
He fucked around and he found out. I mean, you know, and there's, listen, man, I, I give people advice and I tell clients all the time, like, look, 850 bucks an hour. I'll mow your fucking lawn. I don't care. Like I was a waiter. I've done worse shit for less money. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But like, you're paying me for advice. So if you want to pay me for advice and ignore it, Go ahead. Your shit blows up. It's good for me. Yeah. Like the more protracted your case is, the better it is for me. I'm trying to put myself out of business here. Like I'm trying to settle your case. But if you want to fuck around and find out, fuck around and find out.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Because it's not how it works for me. Like, I look at it as it's a legal issue. It's a puzzle. It's strategy. Like, just like I think if a doctor, you know, is operating on a patient and he finds out that patient is a horrible person in real life, it's like, right, but I'm looking at this as, like, plumbing. I'm looking at this as, like, this is a problem I'm trained to fix. Like, I...
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I have a God-given talent. Like I don't know how it came about, but like I see seven moves ahead in a courtroom. Like half the time, I don't even know why I'm making an argument I'm making. And then when I think about it, I go, oh, I did that so they would do this so that then I could do this, that then would make the judge.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, and I, if I'd consciously, you know, they've done studies on how by the time there's any micro movement from a pitcher that could be observed by the batter, it's too late for them to start the swing. But there's still people hit fastballs. So there is some exchange of energy that happens there. There's some micro something that can be sensed by a good hitter in baseball.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's the same thing. Like I have a talent for this that I don't know where it came from. I feel blessed to have it. I love what I do. Like I love to be able to do something that you love and do it at the highest level and do it well is like the greatest gift in the world. But I really, when I'm in a courtroom, like I am way more comfortable in a courtroom than I am in my living room.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I have no idea what to do with myself in my living room. I have no idea. I'm one of those people that like, I'm great in war and terrible in peace. I have no idea what to do with myself. But in a courtroom, I know the rules. I know exactly what to do. And I go in and I am so calm and cool. It's like Neo in the Matrix. Everything slows down and I just know exactly what's expected of me.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I actually when I got to the courthouse, I shouldn't say this in public, but I will. I'm close enough to retirement. I can get away with it. I actually went up to the court officers who are, you know, the security for the building. They're armed, you know.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I don't know where that comes from, but that's what happens is I no longer am thinking about this person or that person. I'm thinking about the job that needs to be done and how to do it. And that's it.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah, I mean, it comes in a lot. The divorce rate among cultures where there's a lot of arranged marriage is actually quite low. And I think that that can be attributed to the fact that people enter into marriage with a different expectation.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like in a lot of cultures where, you know, particularly Muslim cultures I've had some experience with, where individuals marry and there's an arranged marriage that's arranged by the parents. It's really done with this sense that marriage is about a family, a partnership, building something together. It's not this overly romanticized. The idea is that we will grow to love each other.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And love, you know, love is a feeling, but love is a verb, too. Like, to love someone is to act with love towards that person. Like, there are plenty of examples of people who were in arranged marriages or marriages that they weren't quite sure, and then they grew to, through shared experience and common, like, loving children together, they grew to say, you know, this is how it is.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I think that religion and people's religious backgrounds plays a huge role in how they approach the world. And how we approach the world obviously informs how we do our marriage. I mean, I will say, as someone who was raised very strict Catholic,
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
you know, my Catholicism and my like sort of understanding of the rigidity of the mass and when you stand and when you sit and how you address it, it's very much was good practice for the courtroom. Like, because courtroom's very much the same. Like there's people you treat a different way. There's someone who's in charge.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And I said to him, by the way, this is because I had mentioned that there was this case coming in where I had video of this guy beating the dog. And you ever want to see like people's vindictive side come out, tell them somebody beat up a puppy. Like I have to tell you people like a little old lady would be like, kill the motherfucker.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There's, you know, there's like a hierarchy and you humble yourself before that hierarchy and you're not like bowing and genuflecting is not something that's a source of shame. It's a source of pride. It's like, I'm strong enough to humble myself in front of someone. And so I think that religion at its best infuses every aspect of a person's life.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And so I've seen some couples that are very religious. What is hard to watch... and I've done a lot of divorces where people have the same religious faith and then one of them loses that faith. And it creates a schism in the relationship that is very hard to fix because religion has certain first principles from which people are working, you know?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And so if you lose those foundational first principles, they tether so many other things in the marriage, like that it gets really, really tricky, you know?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, but sometimes, again, to throw the counterpoint, I've done a lot of divorces, for example, in the Hasidic community, in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community. And that is a community, I don't think I'm giving anything away when I say that if you could choose between being a man in that community or a woman in that community, you're better off being a man.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like women aren't allowed to drive. There's a lot of rules imposed on women that are challenging. It's a fairly admittedly patriarchal society, culture, you know, enclave. And so sometimes those women will say like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. Like, I don't want to be in this game anymore. I want to step out of this. And that's very challenging.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
It's very, very challenging because it is very, very difficult to reconcile an ultra-orthodox religious life and someone who goes fully in the other. Because people like... Moderation doesn't play into it. People treat dandruff with decapitation. People go from, I'm ultra-religious to, fuck that, I'm as far from religious as you can be. You ever want to meet somebody who's a virulent atheist?
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Find someone who was raised super-religious. It's like people go in that opposite direction. And it's challenging, but it also sometimes is... We all change as time moves on. And that's the challenge, I think, is being honest with yourself about what's changed and then being able to be honest with your partner.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I said to the court officer, I said, listen, I said, this case is in today. They said, oh, that guy's today. I said, yeah. I said, and by the way, I said, if he and I ended up in the restroom at the same time together, he started whatever fight happened. And they were like, Absolutely. In fact, we heard him shouting at me. I was like, thanks, man.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I will tell you, doing what I do for a living, one of the things I've learned is the most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves. And most of the time when we lie to our partner, we're lying to ourself and then we're lying to our partner. And so I just, that's why I'm always a fan of the honest conversation. Like just be honest, be frank, be candid, just say the quiet part out loud.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like, and I think that's why to some degree, like, and I'm not saying this to be, you know, I'm not trying to, you know, have your wives not be mad at me, although it would be good to have them not be mad at me or you. I think one of the things I've found about comics, I've represented a couple of comics,
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There is something really naked and honest about getting up in front of people and talking about your most vulnerable, embarrassing, dumb shit. It's also the funniest shit. It's the shit people can relate to. But you use that muscle all the time. So I imagine in relationship you do the same thing. And that's probably why. I know a lot of comics that are incredibly happily married.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I know some that never marry because of the lifestyle on the road and things like that, substance use issues, stuff like that. But I know a lot of comics that are very, very happily married because that same self-effacing insight and open, unashamed, like, calling out their own bullshit serves people pretty well in a relationship.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I think you can learn a lot about keeping things together by watching how they fall apart. And that's why I wrote the book. What's the name of the book so we can plug it? It's called How to Stay in Love, Practical Wisdom from an Unlikely Source. And you can get it on like Audible if you want to listen to me talk for eight and a half hours. Or you can just get it anywhere. It's for sale anywhere.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And, you know, I've learned a lot by being a divorce lawyer about what keeps people together. What I've learned, I would say more than anything else, is just pay attention. Just pay attention. Like... People get divorced the same way they go bankrupt. Very slowly and then all at once. Like you don't get divorced because your husband's cheating on you, your wife's cheating on you.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Your husband's cheating on you, your wife's cheating on you because there was slippage. There were all these little things. Like, you know those little things you did when you first were dating your wife to like let her know how beautiful she was and how like you like her better than other options. Yeah.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
And all those little things she did for you that made you feel like the fucking coolest guy and the best guy. You loved who you were when you're with her. Yeah, for sure. You stood taller. You went like, yeah, I might be the person this person thinks I am.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
When we start losing that, like there are these little things, like the advice I give, one of the pieces of advice I give in my book, the one that I get the most feedback on, as I said, leave a note. Just leave your wife a note. whatever, every day when you leave the house, just takes 30 seconds. Just like, babe, it was so fun watching that movie with you last night.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
I married the prettiest girl in the world. Can't wait to see you later. What does it take, 30 seconds? What is that doing though? It's saying, I still see you. I still think you're beautiful. You're still worth my time. You're still worth my attention. There's all these other things going on in the world. There's the kids.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
There's a million things, the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to, right? But you're still, it's still you and me. It's still you and me. And those little things, just pay attention. Pay attention and don't let slippage happen. Because it is, look, it is so much easier to stay a healthy weight than it is to get super fucking fat and try to lose 100 pounds. So it's the same thing.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
But sure enough, that was a case where that single piece of evidence was able to just neutralize his ability to go in and be a charming person. You saw the real side of him that you talked about. Exactly. And the more he went in trying to be charming as opposed to saying like... The more psycho he looks.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Once the wheels come off this thing, it is really hard to get back there. So just if you care about this person and you care about the value of that marriage, just take that little bit of time to just, again, it can be just a kind word. It can just be building this person up when people are around instead of taking the piss out of them around people.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Like it can be anything. It can be any little gestures, but those are the things that make us fall in love. Those are the things that make us stay in love. And when you let those little things slip, that's when the wheels start coming off. And that's, there's a short road from that to my office.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
So I always just tell people, pay attention and just make a point of cheering for the person that you're with. That's it. Amen to that.
Andrew Schulz's Flagrant with Akaash Singh
Why Relationships Die & Which Ethnicity is WORST in Divorce | The Divorce Expert
Well, and that's exactly what you say to the judge, because I said to the judge, I'm like, no, judge, you know, for every cockroach you see, there's 50 in the walls. Like we caught this on video.