Heather
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Best of Friday 2024
He's an armchair expert From 682 Crazy Gym Stories.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
I live in Beverly Hills, Michigan.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
I actually went to a shrine. Of course you did. Okay, that's Kristen's high school for people who don't know.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Yes. So it takes place at Central Michigan University. It was New Year's Eve 2008. I was up there after Christmas to go back to work. My roommate, Mary, was up there with me and my neighbor, our friend Kelly, was also there. And Kelly at the time was dating this fraternity guy. They're actually now married, but the fraternity was having a New Year's Eve party.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So the three of us decide that we're going to get dressed up and go to this party. As the party's going on, my roommate Mary comes over to us and she's like, hey, there's this guy Brian here. I think you two would really hit it off. He's upstairs in the attic with some friends. You should go up there and say hi. So I grab my friend Kelly and we go up there and they're all smoking in the attic.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Marijuana. Probably cigarettes too.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
It's the last day of the year. You're allowed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
And they're smoking out of this six-foot bong. They called it Godzilla. It was filled with champagne, not water. Oh, my God. Very classy.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
We say hi to Brian and he packs the bong for us. We hit it and then we're like, okay, bye. We go back downstairs. As the party goes on, we don't really talk again. Fast forward a month later, I go to a house party that some of these fraternity guys live in. So I noticed Brian's there and he's brought his dog with him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
And his dog is this big bloodhound Doberman mix named Homer that he's just letting run around the party. And I love dogs. So I'm like going up to the dog, petting it, becoming best friends.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
He was not a student anymore at Central. He was a part of that fraternity when he was there, and then he left to go to community college. Brian and I keep kind of making eye contact throughout the evening, but we haven't really talked yet. So as the night goes on, we find ourselves upstairs talking at the top of the steps. We're sitting down And we've been talking for some time.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
His dog is laying on his lap. His head's kind of in my lap as well. And all of a sudden, the dog just kind of looks up at me and gives me this look and gives me this low growl. I've been drinking. I thought this dog and I were best friends at this point. Is this a meet cute story with the dog? That would be such a great twist. So I kind of look at this dog like, what's going on?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
And I give it a little noise. That was a very big mistake. The dog launched up and bites me in the face.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Yeah, I immediately just throw my hands up to my face. And I use my right hand to kind of prop myself up off against the wall to stand up and go to the bathroom. And Brian has thrown the dog off of him and follows me into the bathroom as well. It's probably 2.30 in the morning or so. And the three guys that all lived upstairs, they all come out because they've heard the commotion.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So they're all just staring at me in the bathroom while I'm just bleeding over the sink.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Right in my upper lip. Thankfully, it did not puncture through. I probably should have gone to the hospital. I think probably to get like a tetanus shot. I'm a college kid. I'm not going to go to the doctor. So Brian hands me like a wad of toilet paper, put some pressure on it. I just look at him. I'm like, I need to go home. Thankfully, one of the guys that lived on the main floor, he sees us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
And he hands me a T-shirt to put better pressure on the wound as I'm walking home. Did he take it off his body? No. I mean, it could have been a dirty shirt from his room, but it was better than toilet paper.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So now it's Brian, myself, and this dog walking back to my apartment. So we get home. I show him where the first aid kit is. So he starts cleaning it up, seeing what's happening. That's when we find out it's not that deep. We should be okay. But my lip is starting to swell at this point. The bleeding has stopped. So we're just kind of putting some ice on it. And then we go to bed.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So I let him stay the night. Oh. Oh, my God. Good job. He does try to give me like a little kiss goodnight. My lip's a little swollen. I can't really kiss.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
We wake up in the morning when we go downstairs and the dog's just hanging out with my roommate, acting like he's just a great little boy. And Brian takes the dog and leaves. He doesn't ask for my number. I don't ask for his number. I think we were both kind of embarrassed and didn't know what to do.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
question maybe seven oh wow okay probably about a week goes by and he facebook messages me so then we start talking we exchange numbers and we start dating pretty soon after that so we've been together since then we've been together for 16 years we've been married for seven and a half wow
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Maybe one more year. And then he tried to bite me a couple more times. Jesus Christ. He was jealous.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
One of the best parts, besides obviously meeting Brian, was when I stood up after getting bitten, I used my hand to kind of push up against the wall. Well, I left this bloody handprint at this house. I didn't clean it off. They never cleaned it off. So it was there for the rest of the semester. So I would show people the scene of the crime.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
My husband and I were literally talking about this earlier. Cedar Point, of course.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
But have you been to Six Flags? Yes, I have. Not so great.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Hi. Can you hear me okay? Oh, my God. This is beautiful setup.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Thank you. I'm underneath my standing desk. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
That's right. I do have a little lamp with a sheet over it to give it a little ambience.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma Hattie smoothed her apron and walked across to the radio, adjusting the dial. They'd been listening to a show called Alka-Seltzer Time. Every day, it was the same two men playing music. They were always crooning about the moonlight and people being in love. Davy found this noontime programming rather dull, but it was blessedly short, lasting a mere fifteen minutes.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
The dial turned, rolling through fragments of other broadcasts, punctuated by static. Then Grandma stopped on the Ozzie and Harriet show. This was one that Davy secretly liked, although some of the jokes that elicited the laugh track were mysterious to him. This episode was just starting. First, the audience clapped and there was cheerful music.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Then the soundtrack became more dramatic, fading into the beginning of the dialogue between two women. In this episode, it seemed that Harriet and another lady had run into each other in a department store. Davy thought this seemed like it was a world away from Grandma Hattie's sunny kitchen out on the farm. In this show, it became apparent that the other lady's husband was a farmer.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Harriet said her kids had never been to a real farm. Davey looked out the kitchen door that led to the side yard. He scanned the vast expanse of blue sky, grandma's vegetable garden, and beyond, the sea of corn. What a notion, he thought. How can someone have never seen a farm before?
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma told Davy he had done a fine job of whisking the flour mixture and instructed him to bring her the butter and the bowl of eggs from where they'd been waiting on the other side of the kitchen table. As she measured sparkly white flour out of a nearby canister, she reminded Davy that it was important to use room-temperature eggs and butter in a pound cake.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
It's the best way to get your butter to whip up nice and creamy, she explained with a twinkle in her eye. For a brief moment, Grandma's hand mixer drowned out the people talking on the Ozzie and Harriet episode. The laugh track continued to rise over the whir of the appliance, but Davy was only dimly aware of what was going on in the story anyway.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma had a special stepstool that could also be used as a chair. It was a shiny mint green color. Climbing up onto it, he squeezed his hands between his knees as he watched his grandmother transform the butter and sugar into a fluffy mountain. Then, one by one, she expertly cracked the eggs with one hand, dropping them into the mix. A few more ingredients, then the flour, bit by bit.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
And the batter was ready to go into the pans. Davy leaned on the oilcloth-covered table while Grandma Hattie poured the batter evenly into two identical loaf pans. Her expert eye knew just how to divide it evenly. Somehow, they came out exactly the same. Looking up at Davy with a smile, she winked at him. Perfect, Grandma, he said with admiration.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He stood back as she pulled out the door to the big, wide stove and deposited the loaf pans inside. Then she set the metal kitchen timer for an hour and gently closed the oven again. She would check on the pound cakes after 60 minutes to see if they were done. Turning around, she noticed there was a new arrival in the kitchen. Strolling in the open kitchen door was Grandma's orange cat, Buster.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He was an enormous and goofy sort of fella who always accepted a few pats from any kind of visitor. Davy eagerly slid off the chair by the oven and sat down in the warm sunshine on the linoleum to stroke his head. Buster had obviously been entertaining himself outside. He had a few sticky burrs and twigs nestled in his fur.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Davy gently worked them free and tossed them out the door beyond the steps. Buster licked Davy's hand in return, running his pink sandpaper tongue over his thumb. But even Davy's attentions couldn't distract Buster from what Grandma was doing. She had pulled a saucer from the open shelving on the wall and was filling it with creamy milk from the refrigerator.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Buster eagerly began lapping it up as soon as she placed it in the corner, away from the stove. Davy knew that was because Grandma couldn't tolerate cats being underfoot while she was working in the kitchen. Davy stayed in his spot on the floor, running his hand over the smoothness. The summer sunshine was so warm and it made him feel just a little bit drowsy.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He closed his eyes, pausing in the moment. A toasty dry breeze drifted through the door, bringing with it the smells of things that were green. It was the time of the summer when the whole world was busy living. The trees were in full leaf, the grass was high, the bees were humming in the garden. It all filled Davy with an overwhelming sense of well-being and calm.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
It was as if anything was possible at that moment. While Davy basked in the sunlight, Grandma quietly returned to her work. With his eyes closed, he detected some clinking noises. She was retrieving a bowl of some type, he guessed. She was putting something in the bowl.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Meanwhile, he was dimly aware of the heavenly scent of cake and sugar as the oven worked its magic on the contents of the two loaf pans. When he opened his eyes again, everything in the room seemed briefly washed out by brightness. But as his sight adjusted, he saw that there were once again two bowls on the kitchen table, and he knew they were there for him.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma walked over to the radio and adjusted the dial. A familiar trumpeting music began, followed by the familiar cry of, With delight, he instantly knew that Grandma Hattie was going to let him listen to his favorite show. As the theme song galloped along, he happily returned to kneeling on his wooden chair at the table.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
The announcer urged Davy to return with him to those thrilling days of yesteryear. The Lone Ranger, champion of justice, would ride again. Grandma had filled one of the bowls on the table with a huge pile of fresh green beans. He knew that his job would be to snap off their ends, discarding any that were unusable. Grandma always said that this was the perfect job for little hands.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
She would be canning as many of these beans as possible while the gardens were bursting with them. Later in the winter, he'd be seeing these same veggies on his dinner plate along with his meatloaf. Davy was barely aware of his work as he listened intently to the radio show.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He knew that this wasn't Grandma's favorite, but she didn't mind Davy listening to it, since the Lone Ranger never seemed to engage in any real vices. He smiled to himself as the story of adventure took shape. Meanwhile, his hands were busy. Pick up a bean, neatly detach the ends, drop it in the left-hand bowl. Repeat. In this way, he slowly made his way through the entire pile.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
It was satisfying, after all, he thought vaguely. He liked using his thumbnail to snap into the end of the bean, neatly severing the inedible stems. Seeing all of the bright green little tubes pile up in the other bowl made him feel a sense of wholesome accomplishment. He was helping. Davy's mind wandered as he reached the end of his task.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He heard Silver's clopping hooves and imagined that he might have a strong white horse someday. Grandma and Grandpa had a horse, but it was just an older brown mare. Her name was Winnie, and she was so gentle. He liked to sneak her an apple now and then when he found one that had fallen off one of the trees in the yard. but he couldn't imagine the Lone Ranger riding Winnie.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He laughed quietly to himself at the thought of it. He looked up and noticed that, as usual, Grandma had not squandered a moment while she was waiting for the cake to be finished. She had stepped out into the yard and, through the window, he could see her taking the white sheets off the clothesline. They were dry now and billowing gently in the lazy summer wind.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
he had a momentary impulse to run outside and wrap himself in the hanging sheets, letting their fresh silkiness surround him, hide him from the world, create a little cocoon for him in the ocean of space that was surrounding the farmland. That was something he always liked about being at his grandparents' house. One felt so big and yet so small at the same time.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
But of course, Grandma would never approve of him getting his little hands all over her bright white sheets. She efficiently folded them into impossibly flat squares, holding the wooden pins briefly in her teeth as she did so. Within moments, the clotheslines were empty and the Midwestern sunshine and wind was ready to come inside. In the form of Grandma's clean bedding.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Nobody's sheets smelled as good as Grandma Hattie's. That was for sure. Buster had disappeared after his snack, but he strolled confidently back into the kitchen now, looking for all the world like he owned the place. He turned three times and settled himself in the sunbeam by the door and promptly appeared to go to sleep.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma pushed through the doorway, holding her basket, and stepped over him. She clucked her tongue as if she were vexed with Buster, but Davy knew she spoiled him and didn't mind him enjoying the weather. She bustled out of the room briefly and returned empty-handed, Just in time for the kitchen timer to go off, it emitted its perky little chime, indicating that precisely an hour had passed.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma put on a padded mitt and opened the oven door. A mouth-watering scent of vanilla and cake flooded the kitchen, and Davy reflected briefly that it did actually smell even better than the outdoor breezes that had filled the room before. Grandma carefully pulled one of the loaf pans atop the range and patted it experimentally with her hand.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
She was like a baking clairvoyant channeling the soul of the pound cake. She evaluated briefly and then nodded without an ounce of doubt. These cakes were ready. She removed the second pan, shut the door, and turned off the oven. Davey knew what to do next. He ran to a long cupboard nearby and pulled out Grandma's cooling rack. Placing it on the table, he stood aside.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma wordlessly transferred the loaf pans to the cooling rack, where they would rest for a few minutes before the cakes were turned out of them. Hanging her oven mitt back on the hook, Grandma surveyed the kitchen with satisfaction. The Lone Ranger had ended, and now the radio was playing big band music, which was Grandma's usual preference.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He watched with his chin in his hands as she hummed along. all the while fetching a cutting board and a pile of carrots. Pulling a vegetable peeler out of the drawer in her small kitchen work table, she held it out to him with a smile. "'Davey,' she said, "'my neighbor is under the weather.' Even in the summer, there's nothing better than a chicken soup to put a person right.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He nodded in agreement. Grandma's soup was the best in the whole world. He loved eating it in any season. Davy wasn't allowed to use knives in the kitchen yet, but this was a task he could do. He came around to Grandma's side of the table and climbed up on the chair in front of her. Then he took the peeler from her hand and picked up a carrot.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
With an expression of the utmost concentration, he shaved a long ribbon of skin off it, watching the thin strip fall to the cutting board. Then he created an identical strip right next to the first, revealing clean, bright orange carrots underneath. Davey enjoyed this task.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He liked how you could start with a dusty, misshapen vegetable and end up with a fresh, appealing new version popping with vivid color. He also liked watching the pile of dainty carrot ribbons grow as he worked. Grandma always said that if you're bothering to do something, you should do it well. Davy was determined to peel her carrots perfectly.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
As the mountain of pristine carrots slowly grew, Grandma Hattie was expertly dicing an onion on the other side of the kitchen. She sniffed a little, joking with Davy that she'd be crying into her onions any minute if she didn't finish this task quickly.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Then lickety-split, she put down the knife, lifted her wooden cutting board, and scraped the onions into a nearby pot of homemade broth that she had gotten simmering on the stove. With the eye-watering onions safely in the pot... Grandma moved her cutting board to the place across from Davy at the table.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
As he completed his own vegetable peeling, she took a freshly washed stack of celery ribs and laid them out. Neatly trimming the leaves and ends off, she laid them in a short stack. Then, with careful strokes, she thinly sliced them into identical green crescents. Davy watched from behind his pile of finished carrots, almost dazed. as the cheerful celery pieces cascaded to the side like dominoes.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
They made such a fresh little noise when Grandma sliced them. He loved hearing it over and over in perfect rhythms. All too soon, the celery was gone too. It joined the onion and broth in the pot. Lastly, Grandma Hattie got to slicing Davy's carrots. She made them into fat discs, which was just how she and Davy liked them.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He closed his eyes and pictured the chicken noodle soup when it was finished. It would be heaping with fresh, bright vegetables and fat noodles. Delicious. Once the carrots were in the pot, it was time to turn out the pound cakes. Grandma washed her hands at the sink and dried them on a kitchen towel. Then she walked over to the cooling rack and put her hand on the side of one of the loaf pans.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Clearly happy with the level of coolness, she proceeded to expertly flip the lobes, depositing two golden pound cakes onto the rack. This was the part that always made Davy feel like his grandma was doing a high wire act at the circus. The breathless moment when the cakes were unmolded always turned out perfectly, not a crack. Grandma Hattie was truly a magician.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Now Davy, she said, once again peering over her glasses at him. One of these loaves is going to my neighbor, along with the soup, but the other one is for us. Davy clasped his hands together with glee. But before he could speak, she held up a commanding finger. Don't let this ruin your dinner, she said with a conspiratorial look. Davey nodded vigorously.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He wanted to keep being able to eat cake when he was at Grandma's house. He'd make sure to clean his plate at dinner for his mother that evening. A few minutes later, Grandma carefully cut a thick slice off the loaf and slid it across the table to Davy on a plate. He went to the cutlery drawer and got himself a fork. Then he settled himself into a chair and prepared to enjoy his heavenly treat.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
As he savored the vanilla and the sugar, he looked over his shoulder toward the open door again. The sun was much lower in the sky now. The whole world around Grandma's farmhouse had taken on a happy golden glow that made the late afternoon breezes seem warmer than they actually were. Outside, Davey could see Buster. He was walking across the yard as if he had someplace to go
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
And then he vanished into the miniature jungle of the vegetable garden. Davey giggled quietly to himself. Bad buster. He always had important cat business to attend to. Davey's slice of cake was gone before he knew it. Grandma turned from where she was gently stirring the soup at the stove and smiled indulgently at him. Don't worry, she said warmly. I'll send some more pound cake home with you.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
This made him very happy. Perhaps Ma would love after dinner later that's what grandma would probably call a boondoggle he took his plate to the sink and stood on the stool where he carefully washed it then he reached up high and managed to get it into the plate rack where it stood drying with the others
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Having conscientiously cleared his place, he walked over to the irresistible sunbeam that still lit the doorway from the west, and he laid himself down in it, with his elbows propping him up near the threshold to the yard. Lying like this, just inside the kitchen, warmed by the summer sun, he surveyed Grandma Hattie's kingdom.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
A bird swooshed by, alighting on the nearby poles that held the clothesline. He turned his head to watch it, and the bird appeared to imitate him. And then, in a flash, it was gone. He smiled to himself and laid his head down on his folded hands. He could feel the heat from the floor beneath his cheek. It was so soothing, and he was rather tired.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
A soft breeze drifted across his closed eyes, carrying with it the hint of dandelions, freshly cut grass, and straw. Davy was dimly aware that he probably shouldn't be lying on Grandma's kitchen floor. But she wasn't making him get up, and he enjoyed this feeling that he was like a cat. He was like Buster, all orange and glowing with summer sun and free to wander the farmland at will.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
In a little while, his mother would come to pick him up Grandma Hattie would enfold him in a comforting hug, and he'd smell the lemon and the soap and the sugar and the vanilla on her apron. And then she'd give him a kiss on the top of his head and tell him he'd been a good helper and that she would see him again soon.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Davy sat up on his knees, boosting himself on one of Grandma Hattie's mismatched wooden chairs. On the rectangular table in front of him, there were two large stoneware mixing bowls. One was full of flour and the other had a sifter with a hand crank sitting next to it.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Davy placed the sifter inside the empty bowl and began filling it with flour from the other one using a large spoon Grandma had given him. When the sifter was more than half full, he picked it up and began to turn the crank. Tilting his head downward to look at the bottom, he watched in delight as the silky flower poured out in a fine shower, forming a miniature snowstorm underneath.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Stopping to refill the metal container with more flour, he asked Grandma Hattie why they always had to sift before baking. Well, Davy, she said, peering over her glasses with a smile, you want to make sure that flour is the only thing that ends up in your cake. Davey looked skeptical. He stopped turning the crank briefly and scrutinized the portion that had yet to go through the process.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Then he shrugged and said, It looks fine to me. Grandma clucked her tongue and told him that he might get lucky. or he might get some corn husks or something else in his dessert. With mock seriousness, she put her hands on her apron tips and added, Do you really care to take that risk? Davy chuckled at the notion of finding a corn husk in his cake and emphatically told her no.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He began cranking more vigorously. As the pile of dusty white flour grew underneath the can, he lifted his arms higher, creating just enough space to finish the job. He told Grandma Hattie that he was done and carefully placed the sifter into the now empty bowl to his right. She nodded approvingly and brought him a whisk and a tiny little bowl with some other ingredients in it.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Use this to blend in the salt and the baking soda, she says. And be careful not to knock the flour into the air and get it all over you. You'll look like a ghost if you're not tidy. Davey nodded solemnly and deposited the new ingredients into the mixing bowl. He began to stir and blend it very slowly.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
The pound cake they were preparing wasn't even in the oven yet, but Grandma's kitchen had that familiar smell. that always reminded him of home. It was a particular mix of cinnamon, vanilla, and something else he couldn't quite identify. It was a freshness that reminded him of sheets hanging in the sun on the clothesline. In fact...
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
From the window over the large enameled sink, he could see laundry blowing merrily in the summer breeze. Grandma was washing the breakfast dishes. Pulling aside the skirt that covered the area underneath the sink, she pulled out a box of powdered soap Adding it to the water, she splashed vigorously, creating a pile of white bubbles.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
Grandma, Davy said, you know advertisements say you can just soak the dishes for two minutes in the sink and not even scrub them now. and the soap will even make your hands softer at the same time. Grandma Hattie snorted with amusement. Don't believe everything you hear on the radio, Davey. That'll be the day that I don't even bother to wipe the dishes. Davey shrugged his shoulders.
Get Sleepy: Sleep meditation and stories
Grandma Hattie’s Kitchen
He couldn't expect his grandmother to be up on the latest products. Peering back at her, taking in her pleasantly familiar floral house dress, he smiled to himself. He didn't really want her to change. As he watched, still stirring the whisk, she rinsed each plate and set it up in the nearby plate rack to air dry.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Hey, this is Heather from Salt Lake. Long time fan. Haven't missed an episode. I've had it with Elon Musk, but more so the descriptions of his penis, which I have not heard you guys talk enough about. But I went down the rabbit hole and apparently his kids were all born IVF because of a botched penile implant job. And his penis is described as looking like, quote, no stem, acorn covered in scabs.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Yeah. So I just thought you should know that so that maybe, you know, you could talk a little bit about that because I'm sure he would love that. All right. Bye.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 222: Live Q&A at the Investors Retreat
Hi, Charlie. I'm Heather, and I work at a nontraditional Bible-based school here in Orange County that still teaches phonics.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 222: Live Q&A at the Investors Retreat
The high school students are in a government econ class as we speak right now. They're in session, so they're texting me some questions and being juniors and seniors. Their top questions are about college, so do you mind if I ask you three quick college questions?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 222: Live Q&A at the Investors Retreat
They're super quick. First one, they know you didn't go to college, but if you did, what would you study?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 222: Live Q&A at the Investors Retreat
Is college still a waste of time if you love learning or just figuring out what to do with your life?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 222: Live Q&A at the Investors Retreat
Okay, and the last question is, what are your thoughts on the current lawsuit with Harvard and the Trump administration?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Hey, Dr. John, how are you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
I'm great. Thank you so much for taking my call.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
All right. I'm just going to jump right in and then we'll go backward as needed.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Woo. Here we go. Um, how do I balance staying close to my ex-husband who still needs support while not sacrificing my own chance at dating?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Okay. So in 2020, my now ex-husband and I were heading toward a very amicable divorce. The only thing we were waiting for was our tenant's lease to expire, and then he would move into a home that we own. And then he had a stroke.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Um, for the most part, yeah. Um, it's still to this day, the doctors still look at that MRI and have no idea how he survived it. Um, so I stayed and cause obviously I would never leave somebody like that. Um, and rehabbed him, you know, did all the rehabs, therapies, you name it, we did it. And he made a great turnaround, um,
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
And so we did, after two and a half years of the rehab and everything, we did end up getting the divorce. He did end up moving into our home that we own, which is seven doors down from me. But I still go to every doctor appointment. I ask him to still come to the lake with our family because I can't imagine not doing that for somebody. His three best friends live in three different states.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
His family lives in another state. I'm basically all that he has, and the thought of him sitting home alone while I'm still doing my family stuff breaks my heart. However, my friends are telling me, you know you're never going to date if you remain this close to him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
After the divorce, everything got squared around to that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
And I kept the one I'm in free and clear, yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
And I would never want somebody to feel that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
So 100% lack of intimacy. I mean, I cried, begged, pleaded, couple therapy, individual therapy, you name it. I tried it and it just, it wasn't there. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
No, it had been two years at that point. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yeah. Very lonely.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yes, but also very, like, cared about him, wanted to go down and see him at college, you know, really genuinely cared about him, which was huge for me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Um, honestly, right now I'm really enjoying being, being single. So what does that mean?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
At 50? No, no, I just, um, I enjoy hanging out with my girlfriend, you know, doing a lunch and just... Why can't you do that while you're dating or married? I can. You know, working... Putting me first for a change because there for a couple of years, I definitely did not, you know, obviously his health had to come first, which is fine.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
But I'm definitely enjoying putting myself first for a change. So the thought right now, honestly, the thought of dating is just not... Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Thank you. Thank you. I try to be.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yeah, yeah, for sure. I don't think those are in opposition to each other.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
I think, honestly, right now, it's just there was so much caretaking for those two and a half years that it just feels good to just, ooh, okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yeah, that – The first thing that comes to my mind is just it's going to break his heart to not have his best friend there to help him be me.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yes and no. No, no, no, hold on.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Or do you love it? I don't love it. But you're right, I have definitely been people-pleasing the whole life.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Right. And that's not fair to him. No, that's very valid. I never thought about it like that. That's true.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Does My Husband Have an Unhealthy Relationship With His Mom?
Yeah, I love that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Greatest Hits Vol. 3: John’s Favorite Calls of 2024
Well, here, here, here we go.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I'm not a very big phone talker, so this is hard.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
Yeah. So my worry is Back in 2008, 2009, I had an affair with a married man. And then recently, just last month, he randomly sent me a message asking how I was doing. And it really upset me because I had never told my husband about this person. And I hadn't met my husband when I was having this affair, so I didn't cheat. And I just
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I told my husband about it because I've been carrying the guilt for the last 13 years we've been together. And I just, I hate myself for it.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
Yep. I made bad decisions, that's for sure.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I've just always carried around some guilt about it, like it's a horrible thing to do. I was single at the time, but... I didn't want to tell my husband. Every time we watched your show and somebody talks about cheating, he's just like, people who cheat are just terrible. And I'm just sitting here thinking, you're going to think I'm a terrible person because of this terrible thing I did.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I just don't want my husband to think to hate me, to think I'm a terrible person or that I would do that to him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
He was kind of stunned. He, um, cause at first I asked him what would, why would a man email somebody who he hasn't seen in 17 years? And he's like, probably nothing good.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
And I, then that's just when I was like, okay, I have to tell you something. And, um, And he's kind of a stoic person, so I really didn't get much emotion out of him, either mad or sad or anything like that. He was just kind of like surprised I kept something from him that long.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I don't know. I've always been carrying around this guilt for a long time.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
It's getting you something. I think it's more like, okay, I know that somebody can be a liar and cheat on their wife. And I guess I'm afraid of that happening to me because I know that people falter.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
It all happened in the morning, and he said, okay, we'll talk about it after work, and then got the kids to bed. And I was like, can we talk about it now? And he's like, sure. He didn't really want to. So we did talk about it again, but he said that he doesn't care, and he's not going to think about it and let it bother him.
The Dr. John Delony Show
I’m Still Sexually Attracted to My Ex-Wife
I don't know. He's kind of hard to read emotion-wise.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
My name is Heather. I own a consulting firm called Channel Maven. Okay. We help large IT companies sell better through and with their partners. Okay. Revenue was $3.6 million. I sold it in 2021. Congrats. Thanks. Ran marketing for the company that acquired us. They called it an AquaHire. Yeah. Um, and convinced the board six months ago that I was done and they should give me the name back.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
So got the name, got the IP. I get to start over, not make the mistakes I made before. The market has shrunk. So that channel role is being pushed out. Um, and when I started it, there were five consulting companies I competed with. Now there are probably 200. Okay. Yeah. Do I focus more, like channel marketing is probably what I'm best known for.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
Do I focus more on that in this industry or do I go just B2B and like help kitchen and bath companies sell through dealers or automotive?
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
Yeah. So a large IT company sells direct, but they also sell through hundreds of thousands of mom and pop channel partners or Accenture or now Marketplace.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
Yeah. I mean, I basically made an announcement on LinkedIn that I was back and did 360k in four months. That's awesome. Yeah. Thanks.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
I just feel like my champions, the 14,000 people that follow me on LinkedIn, are starting to phase out a bit. And it's just gotten super crowded.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
My clients are the tech companies. So HP, Google.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
They're all calling me asking if I know of jobs and I'm tracking how long they're on the market. And on average, it's about 11 months.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
They call it a channel chief. So it's like chief partner officer.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
Yeah, because they're all getting let go. So then the VP of channel sales reports to the CSO, the VP of channel marketing reports to the CMO. That level is just getting let go.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
In the last year, because I was still in the channel when the company acquired us, I'd say probably 40 people.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Brutally Honest Business Advice | Ep 878
But like I am you. I work. I have little kids. Fifty percent of the time I work nonstop when they're not with me.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Hey, Alex.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
My name is Heather. I own a consulting firm called Channel Maven. We help large IT companies sell better through and with their partners. Revenue was $3.6 million. I sold it in 2021. Congrats. Thanks. Ran marketing for the company that acquired us. They called it an aqua hire. And convinced the board six months ago that I was done and they should give me the name back. So got the name, got the IP.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
I get to start over, not make the mistakes I made before. Cool. The market has shrunk. So that channel role is being pushed out. And when I started it, there were five consulting companies I competed with. Now there are probably 200. Do I focus more, like channel marketing is probably what I'm best known for. Do I focus more on that in this industry or do I go just
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
B2B and help kitchen and bath companies sell through dealers or automotive.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Yeah. So a large IT company sells direct, but they also sell through hundreds of thousands of mom and pop channel partners or Accenture or now marketplaces.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Yeah. Yeah.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Thanks.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Um, I just feel like my champions, the 14,000 people that follow me on LinkedIn are starting to phase out a bit and it's just gotten super crowded.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
My clients are the tech companies. So HP, Google. Yeah.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
They're all calling me asking if I know of jobs and I'm tracking how long they're on the market. And on average, it's about 11 months.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
They call it a channel chief. So it's like chief partner officer.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Yeah, because they're all getting let go. So then the VP of channel sales reports to the CSO, the VP of channel marketing reports to the CMO. Like that level is just getting...
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
In the last year, because I was still in the channel when the company acquired us, I'd say probably 40 people.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
But like I am you. I work. I have little kids. Fifty percent of the time I work nonstop when they're not with me.
The Game with Alex Hormozi
Strategic Business Advice That Applies To Every Business | Ep 840
Awesome. Thank you.
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Stop Doubting Yourself: 5 Tips to Boost Your Confidence
Hey Mel, it's Heather. I'm curious if you would consider doing a podcast on confidence and actionable steps to gain confidence. For instance, in the workplace when your role has expanded and currently are doing big things, but do not always feel confident or in line with the idea that you want and deserve to be there in that role. Love your podcast more than you'll ever know. Thank you.
The Oprah Podcast
Amy Griffin: “The Tell” | Oprah’s Book Club
Starbucks, it's a great day for coffee.
The Oprah Podcast
Amy Griffin: “The Tell” | Oprah’s Book Club
Hi, Amy. My name is Heather. And thank you for sharing your story and being so vulnerable. As a mom, I have three daughters, and they're actually the same age as that you were when you went through this, 17, 15, and 12. And I'm raising them in the South, in a suburb. And so I saw a lot of terrifying parallels in your story.
The Oprah Podcast
Amy Griffin: “The Tell” | Oprah’s Book Club
The expectation of perfection, how you should behave in society, Southern bells, all of those things. So- My question to you is to shift those perspectives, it has to start with our young men as well. How has your story impacted your sons? And have you shared your story with your youngest son yet?
The Ramsey Show
Stuck in a Financial Pit? Here’s How to Climb Out and Stay Out
What's going on, Heather? I'm just, I'm tired of debt controlling me in all aspects of my life.
The Ramsey Show
Stuck in a Financial Pit? Here’s How to Climb Out and Stay Out
I need help. I'm done with it. Getting the truck listed and putting that up for sale.
The Ramsey Show
Stuck in a Financial Pit? Here’s How to Climb Out and Stay Out
It's not what I want to do, but it's not always what I want to do.
The Ramsey Show
Stuck in a Financial Pit? Here’s How to Climb Out and Stay Out
It's just really hard. I can't keep this up for another year.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
And that's what she's been surrounded by for four years. And so she does not, she thinks everybody should get their own car. She thinks everybody, no 18-year-old needs to budget. And she's off to college next year, and we're trying to help her.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
And, uh, yeah. So we can't really say if you don't do this, then we won't pay for college because she knows that she knows he will pay for the college.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Well, because I've been against it for many years, asking to limit the money and to allow me to know what money is going to her so that we can at least put it in an account and we know what money is flowing to her so we know what money is coming out and how she's spending it. We can discuss with her her decisions.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
No, he thinks that, oh, you know, she's old enough. You have to give her, you know, she's 18. She's an adult. You have to let her make her mistakes.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Well, and that's how I was raised. I was poor, okay? So I'm not from this. And I tell that to my husband. He says, well, I had never-ending checking account until I got out of law school, and then I started paying for my own stuff, and I turned out just fine.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Yeah, but she'll be married and she'll end up getting divorced when they find out who she really is. She's a very good little actress.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
Well, I'm just wondering if there is any way or hope to get an 18-year-old to budget when they are surrounded by wealth and not limited by regular constraints. They have no debt. They're not paying for college. They're not paying for cars.
The Ramsey Show
Wealth Magnifies Who You Already Are
I don't. Her family, the in-laws will give her money whenever she asks. She knows this. We homeschooled her, and she was taught very good values about money and morals, but then in high school, we allowed her to go into a high school. a brick and mortar where people will drive a different car to school every day just to show off their wealth.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Hey friends, the first episode of 90 Day Money Makeover is available right now. This new series follows real people as they take on the challenge of transforming their finances and their lives in just 90 days. Watch as they navigate the highs and lows of this journey and as I walk alongside of them every step of the way. Okay, now here's a little sneak peek of what the new episode is all about.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
What's going on, Heather? I'm just, I'm tired of debt controlling me in all aspects of my life. She's got a lot going on. We've got to simplify it. She's got the farm, the divorce, the debt. We're just praying the money's there, I guess.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
Are you ready to commit to it? Are you going to do it? I need help. I'm done with it. Getting the truck listed and putting that up for sale. Oh my gosh, it's good to see you. Do I want to pet a chicken? No. I see you doing a lot that wasn't even part of the homework, and we're only at the 30-day point. I want to be undressed.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
There's no guarantee that the bank would let her keep the house. I want you to start dreaming what another living situation might look like if it doesn't go your way.
The Ramsey Show
The Road to Financial Freedom Is Paved With Grit
It's scary. I can't keep this up for another year.