Freya Evans
Appearances
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, so I can't find the photo because I've got no signal. That's okay. You can send it later. I will send it later. You're going to be shocked. I can't wait to see it. As in, I could tell people that I was a successful trans story.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I looked so much like a boy. Wow. I could fool anyone. For sure. I really like... I used to get... Every day. It was like little boy or like, you know, not even as an insult, but being like he, him, you know. That's cute. Fair. Really, really cute. Right. And but definitely not gay. Right. I love not me.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
No, my skateboard, my BMX, my jorts, my mullet, my Nirvana T-shirt, my converse, like all of it. Right. So then and then like puberty here. And I was like, oh, maybe I do want to wear my sister's lip gloss afterwards. And maybe I do want to steal their clothes and I'm just going to do that. And then as I went into like the teenage years, I was like so crazy.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And now I look back at the crazy and I'm like, well, obviously this is why you went crazy, Freya, because I would go out all the time, go and get drunk so I can make out with girls.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. So horny teenager. You want to just drink everything. And obviously in the UK we can drink at 18 here. So naturally you drink from the age of 14. Holy shit. And you're just having fun, sleeping with your best mates who say that they're straight and have a boyfriend. This is great. Yeah, and then I, like, throughout all of this, like, time, I became, like, so insecure.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I, like, went out and I studied in Brighton specifically because I thought there'd be lesbians there and there were no lesbians. Shit. We were just there.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It was soaking wet down there. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Dyke Dan. I absolutely love it there. Splashing all over the roads and everything in the course of days. Exactly.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So like back then was like a different time, right? And so I was like, well, this is great. Yeah. There's no lesbians here. So I got myself a boyfriend who sucked. Of course. But of course he did. And at the time then, I finished studying there, moved back home. And at this point, I was like really insecure with who I was. I think I like ate all of my feelings, drunk all of my feelings.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I became like morbidly obese. So I put myself on a very strict diet. And as I was doing this, I started talking to this girl that was online. And then that's how it all kind of like came to fruition. Because like, I think I was just like, how crazy would it be if I was gay? That would never happen. how crazy would it be if this was the truth, you know? And like, but I'm like, no, this is wild.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That could never be the case. I was like, I couldn't be gay. Like, there's no way. It's interesting that in your mind, you were like, this isn't even an option. No way. No. And like, also my older sister is gay. So you grew up seeing it already. So my mom tried to hide it as much as possible. Got it. Oh, my God. Yeah. My sister is seven years older than me. She's a gold star lesbo. Wow.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
She came out when she was 16. Yeah. When I say came out, my mom found a MySpace page that she had created this forum for gay men. It's like an agony art.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
the gay men my mom went on the on the family computer found it was like you're all disgusting and then went downstairs and like literally went to town like my sister bless her 16 yeah you know and um so she was like don't tell don't tell Freya and that was like years but then I kind of clocked it I remember being like 12 and being like I was Rebecca your girlfriend and she was like yeah and I was like she was like you don't mind I was like why would I you know just whatever and then you wrote off on your skateboard
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And that was the thing. I was just like, well, there's already a gay. Statistically, there's three of us. Why have I got to be the other one? Why can't Lauren, the middle one, why can't she be a fucking lesbian? And is she? Did she turn out to be?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Life is long and we only get gayer. So that's fine. She's always got time to repent. Yeah. And so I then, yeah, I was like struggling with all of that for so long. I was like, don't you dare.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Because also another reason for me wanting to lose weight was because I didn't want to come out when I was like morbidly obese in biker jackets, red hair, lip piercing and being like, everyone's going to be like, you just can't get a man and that's why you're gay. Isn't that so annoying? It's so fucking annoying.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Of the straight women to say, you can't get a man because of the way you look. And you're like, have you seen you? What the fuck, dude? Hello. Janet, in the fucking corner, has got no teeth between her and her other mate.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh my God, Kelly Clarkson. Can we just go back to score? Yes, we can. And the wig.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Get a fucking grip. That's what I'm saying. Get a grip. You and your boyfriend can get the fuck out of here. Yeah. You and your ugly little boyfriend. That's right. No, I hate it. I can't stand it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Because it's also like, bitch, if I liked you, you would have known. Yeah. Because I've got game. Yes. Do you have game? No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying for all of us in general.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
How do I flirt? Right. How do you answer that question? Like, I've always said the same thing is that it's just like being so confident. Don't be afraid to say something fucking stupid because that's also pretty adorable.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
right it's adorable when it's done in the right way yeah um and i think that just being honest as well like because i always think that girls girls are always saying how they actually know that i'm hitting on them though oh right yeah and it's like they know because the energy is different like the way that i speak to a woman that i'm like trying to hit on versus a woman that i'm just complimenting is so incredibly different because i compliment women all the time right right never men
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Well, no. I don't even notice a man. Well, I haven't talked to a man in a while. No. I don't want to. Thank you. I'm on like a hundred day streak. Like Duolingo. Yes. And like if I speak to a man, I've got a fucking... Stop.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That's huge. I'm almost at a hundred. It's going really well. Do you know that I ignored every single man walking here? He was like, have a nice day. And I was like... I just kind of just go like... Well, it's almost like I'm almost at 100. Get the fuck out of here. But then you can't even say that, right? Because then you'll hear it. Exactly. So you just go... It's tough. Yeah. Just this.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Talk to the hand. This works. Sorry, so what were we talking about? I missed that. Oh, flirting.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, be really confident, but not cocky. There's like such a fine line, right, between being an arsehole and just being confident. And people love talking about themselves. They sure do. Give them the questions, baby. Yeah. Get them to open up. Get them to give you a life story. That is very gay. Yes, that is actually. Go on, tell me everything. Get deep on day one. Yeah, where's your trauma?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And then you also see from their body language instantly if that is a green light or a red light. Like if you're touching, it's just like basic human psychology, right? And it's like if you touch someone's arm and like, give me your arm. So if I were to like go like that, say, and then you were to just like put it away. So we're like talking, but you kind of like edge it away a little bit.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It just, it's just like a very subtle hint.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So it's like if you then like say you're like talking to them and then you kind of like go into their arms. Sometimes they'll actually like if you can really if you can crack the code, they kind of lean into it just ever so slightly. Like it's not even a conscious thing. So that's also really important. And then just ask if you can get them a drink.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I always say like make sure it's just in a place where there's alcohol. Yeah. Smart. Easy. This is beautiful.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I think it's Weisz. Weisz. Yeah. Adel Weisz. Rachel Weisz. Weisz. Either way. Fuck it. We don't care. I do think it is both. Elizabeth Hurley. Elizabeth Hurley. Unbelievable.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, Angelina Jolie. Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider. Fascinating. When I tell you I watched that time and time again, do you know a really rogue one? Do you remember Aqua, the band?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Aqua. Aqua's coming and it's like... I can say, look towards the light. It's gone. You go like this.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Did you lose the sneeze? That's so annoying.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That's almost as bad as when you're about to cum and then you don't. Like, that's the same feeling.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And that sucks. So it's Angelina Jolie. And then we're on the band Aqua. Okay. Okay, so we're on the band Aqua. So I watched their documentary. I had like a tape, like the VHS tape of their documentary, which I would watch every single day for the lead singer. Wait, I have to look at this lead singer. Okay, have you guys ever seen the Dr. Jones, Jones, Collins, that's a Jones. Oh, hold on.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Aqua band? Hold on. Dr. Jones. Lead singer. Yeah. Okay, it's this one specifically. It's her dressed in this Tarzan bikini. Oh, she's cute.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Hold on, you kind of need to see it when she was, what, what have you got there? Hold on. Don't be doing me dirty.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
please they're under a waterfall yeah i know the music video still yeah so you can see here she's in like a camo she's in like a camo t-shirt and she's she's got the job i like that and i remember just watching that as a kid and being like i why do i like this so much i'm having the best time super hot there's a lot happening there that is working for me and it's working for me still 100 yeah have we found her have you met her before
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So I'm dying to meet her. You have to. I have to get her on the podcast. You have to. I haven't even reached out yet because I'm too nervous. Don't be nervous. I feel like we've asked a couple people on the pod that we like.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And then when they show up and we're like, I'm just like sweating the whole time. I'm going to ask every woman that I've ever fancied in my life to come on the podcast. And then I'm going to flirt with them really aggressively.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
This is a really good call out. I feel like they're really going to want to come on now.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, true. And I also miss Honey from Matilda. Oh, that's a good one. That's Rachel's. Yeah, that's a whole generation, I think, of queer people. All of us. I actually think that's universal. For sure. I had just so many. I don't know if there were any specific British ones, to be honest. And thank you so much for saying that we churn out some good ones.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I had no idea because the cliche is that they're not.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Okay. And I think also we have a bit of a thing. Like, I feel like from people from America, they think that we're going to smell bad and that we're going to have bad teeth. Interesting. And we only have one of those things. And which one is it? It is the teeth. Okay.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Full veneers. Yeah, they're full veneers.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Well, the old school thing was that it was just all wonky.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Just bring back wonky teeth. I love that shit. It's like that girl in White Lotus, one of our amazing girls, and I love her teeth. Without those teeth, how is she able to convey all of that emotion? I feel like her teeth convey so much emotion for her. She's a legend. I love her teeth. You must know how many times people and casting directors would have been like, fix your fucking teeth. Right.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Thank God she didn't. Thank God she didn't. Because she's standing out because of them. Everyone's obsessed with her. It's actually really funny because Scarlett has a snaggle tooth and that was what interested me. I was like, you're really hot. I was like, I really love this snaggle tooth. How far back is it? Or is it right in the front? Oh, it's this one.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, so just kind of like, just a little bit over. And I thought, that's really cute. It's kind of like giving you a lot of allowances to get away with a lot of shit. And I then see that little snaggle tooth pop out. I'm like, that's really cute. So that went from snaggle to then, like snaggle puss to scraggles.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So now I ended up just calling her scraggs for the rest of our relationship because of that. But it was just... That's really cute.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
No, you know what? It makes it a bit sick. Are you worried about it? I couldn't do it. At this age, no. Not at this age. Not at my grand age.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
How many children? One and grown adults. She did say that she doesn't like adults with braces.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
All women are beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. English ain't my first language. Yeah. All women are beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. But the braces do send me west a little bit because I think about food getting stuck in it and then that makes me feel really sick. And then I think, I don't want to do that. Especially imagine if they got the little elastic bands. I'm into it. Do you know what?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Maybe it's your kink. We've all got one, honey. We all have our things. I'm not going to shame you. I'm glad that you're into it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
yeah wait what what are you into so i don't know if i have one right and and you know what's really scary about that is that i know that everyone has one so you would just haven't found it yet so that means must be something pretty crazy fucking fucked up yeah are you trying to find it or are you like it'll find me it'll find me i think i wonder if you don't know if somebody's whatever you're naturally doing somebody else would be like that's insane maybe you know your signature move that you always have yeah i wonder if it matches i love a good squirt like a good squirter of
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
course so is that a king it feels like it could definitely be okay and i fuck hard with that that's great that's like a good skin of mine yeah i'm like just like the there's something i don't know what it is like you're a savant at it i'm a savant yeah what a beautiful skill to have God, I know. It's part of the ADHD, I reckon. Do you think that you, can you squirt? So like very rarely. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Very rarely. But for some reason, I just have a knack. That's so cool for you. No one is going to hear it from me. No one is going to mind. No, I'm joking. I actually don't even know what it is. It's a vibe. But yeah, I love that. I love that. What else do I love? I think that's your kink then.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I mean, follow your heart. How big are your hands?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, my God. Wow, they're even smaller than mine. Tiny little hands. I think she's way taller than you. How tall are you? I'm 5'7". I'm like 5'7". I like. But I think I'm 5'7". I mean, I'm also 5'7". I'm lying. I think I'm 5'6 1⁄2". I'm 5'6 1⁄2". Okay, so we're the same. 5'6 1⁄2", blonde with tiny hands.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Gold has 6'2". Fair. That's a fair. There's nothing wrong with that. Thank you. Who's going to check? Who's going to have a measuring tape? Yeah, nobody. On the fly.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I'm so sorry. I don't know if I know any British people. Isn't that fucking nuts? No, you do. Thank God. You only need to know one and it's me. Yeah. And I believe that. I don't know any gay British people.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
High five I can fuck with. I can't high five a partner. I can fuck with a high five if it was so fucking good that you're like, we genuinely are. You're talking about a sex five. A sex five.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I don't think I've ever fist-bumped anyone in my life. Me neither. Fist-bump is so platonic to me. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, my God. That is like the biggest hit to the stomach if your girlfriend goes, all right, mate. And that is when you know you've really fucked up. Oh. You know you're in big, big trouble when you go, all right, mate. And you're like, oh, really? Yeah, it's bad. And that's when I'm getting sassy. Because even to some of my closest friends, I won't call mate, right? Because it's a fuck you?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I'll be like, all right then, mate. That is just like, you've really, you've done something to me. You've done something to me. And it's really bad. It's really weird. But I'm like, I'm trying to think, you all right there, mate? Like, yeah, I'd say like, you all right there, mate? Like, if it's a more like... Certain friends I say it to and certain friends I don't.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Like, you know, when you just have certain slangs, I'm more of like a babe. Yeah. Like, babe for everything. Yeah. I never say dude. I don't think it really suits my accent. It sure doesn't. No. Right? No.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And you have to say it at least like 20 times within the argument or discussion, the heated discussion. And it's like, no, listen here, Erica. This is, oof.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Do you know what, when you hear it from the English voice as well, it's really giving punishment. Punishment.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Mackenzie. Oh, I actually deeply liked it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Mackenzie and Rachel. Mackenzie Nissen. Rachel.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
No, no. Have I... no no yeah no unfortunately not unfortunately that's actually quite a nice thing yeah it's a you're lucky I haven't been I think I've been very lucky yeah
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Sorry, that's such a cunty answer as well. It's honest. No, I haven't been friend zoned. I'm trying to genuinely think if I have. God, I've only been friend zoned. Oh, I think maybe when I was, oh, so when I was really younger. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That's when I was friend zoned. So like in the teenagers, 100%.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Like I wanted these girls to be in love with me like I was in love with them and they didn't want it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Yeah. And still Kate? I think Kate on the day-to-day? Yeah. I've got to be honest. Maybe it's wishful thinking.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
are you acting okay there is not one she is not straight right right you can't look that good and be straight you also can't we're always saying that i'm like the voice when she did carol and she said do you live alone that to me is is gay proof for sure you might as well have been munching box i mean i i you know what guys the next time because there will be a next time i come on this podcast or you come on mine or whatever it is between like now that i'm in my single era yeah
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I'm going to have to find Kate. I'm going to have to fuck her. And then that's going to be the proof. I think that's the only way to do it. Good God, please do that. She's going to try and NDA the shit out of me. And I'm going to say, nah, take me to jail. I'm telling everyone.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Cats out of the bag. Kate's out of the bag. Kate's out of the box. Kate's in the box. You've got to keep us. I'm joking. I would never actually manage to do it. Like, never. Never say never.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
life's long for everyone here I'll get her when she's really old now that you're in your single era do you find yourself posting differently on social media now that you're single is it the same throughout it's very similar just in terms of like my personality and everything else just not with a girl there next to you yeah so basically just sans Scarlett like there's just like the same kind of shit but me doing it alone so having a pint on my own yeah cute stroking the dog on my own mhm
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Masturbating. Oh, you post that as well. That's when you go live. No, but yeah, it's like all the same stuff. I don't think I do. But maybe you guys can analyze it and tell me if maybe I have. Maybe you could see if there's a difference. We'll do a deep dive later. I have been deep diving all day.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I love the fact that, like, I'm a femme that makes me want to just, like, tooth and nail, say, Pirates of the Caribbean. Right. Because I don't want to just be like, well, she looked gayer.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
For sure. If anyone wants to know what it is, watch Bend It Like Beckham. Mm-hmm. But she's too boy crazy in it. Yeah. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. Right. Right. Whereas on Pirates of the Caribbean, she's wearing like a little bralette moment bustier corset, which is gay as hell. No straight woman would wear that. And she's like the only woman on the ship. Yeah. Yes. She's killing it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I think she was also on a rope at some point. She was!
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
No, it's a lot of upper body strength. For what? For what? For fingering. You're a girl for that? Yes. Yeah, exactly. So I'm actually going to have to say Pirates of the Caribbean. That's a good choice.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, she is Puss in Boots. Yeah. Yeah, you are what you eat.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Also, isn't she into like Orlando Bloom and that and he just looks like a woman? He is. He is a woman. He's a woman.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh my God, don't even do that to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Obsessed. Okay. I'm uncomfortable. I've just had to move my chair. What part made you uncomfortable? The breathiness. Oh, it was hot. That was really hot. Do that more. I think just for my reaction alone, that's the gayer thing. Yeah, there is something so gay about that breath work. We love that. And also there is a as well. Oh, yeah. You do the inwards and the outwards.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, I do like the outwards better. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It's a lot of creaking. It's a lot of breathing. And, you know, when they, like, amplify the breathing so much, I'm like, everyone's going to hear you. Like, I get so stressed out. I'm, like, breathing too fucking loud. Stop your fucking breathing. Shut the fuck up. Why are they all mouth breathers as well? Why? Because they're British. Yeah. Are you guys mouth breathers?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah, because we don't have the jaw strength like the rest of the fucking world, all right? Have you seen a person from Britain's jaw? You know what? I haven't. Exactly. You haven't because you can't find it on their face.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
We gave them all to Keira Knightley. Do you know that when I was younger, I used to get compared to her all the time and it was like my biggest, obviously not now, but it was great. Those were the days.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Thank you so much. They're crazy. They're massive. My wife would have a huge crush on you. Thank you so much, wife. What's your wife's name? Nazara. Nazara. Gorgeous. When did you get married? November. Oh my fucking... Congratulations. Show it off. She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. We are both beautiful. How long have you been together? Six and a half years. Six and a half years.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Well, not for much longer. Wait until I come through with these arms. Come on, babe. Yeah, no, that's amazing. Congratulations. Thank you. That's beautiful. Yeah, what was I saying? Well, we have one more. So we are mouth breathers. You're winning, by the way, the game. You are. All of these are correct. Okay.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I've seen the fashion. And you've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. And I've eaten one of those tiny sandwiches. So those tiny sandwiches are giving more gay male behavior. For sure. And I'm just not here for it. It doesn't suit me. Why are you doing small little sandwiches like that? You need to grow up. You want like a big sandwich. Yeah, I want a big sandwich. Give me a foot long.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That's for gay men who can't eat a lot because they're about to bottom later. If that ain't the truth. If that ain't the truth.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Oversized crew neck with the cycling shorts. Yeah. The bicycle shorts. Are you joking? It's pretty gay. So she would have ridden a bike. For sure. She rode a bike. She would ride anything. That she wanted.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Her fashion is iconic. It was. And if all the lesbians love her fashion, therefore she is gay. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That wasn't a rumor that was out here before. I think that they probably knew that that would do really well on that show, like a bit of clickbait. And obviously I loved it. I loved it. But that woman, she, do you know what? She had too much understanding and humility, humanity, whatever the fuck, Hugh Grant, about her, that like, to have not been gay. I think you're right.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
She was so progressive. She was a major futurist. So compassionate. So compassionate. And he was ugly. Yeah, for sure. But she knew that she had to get into the castle.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Because what man... Would want that. Would want that. No, because they're fragile egos. And if you were that evolved, why would you want a man? For sure. There. Doesn't check out.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Why would you want to suck a dick? Right. You've got all of that and you want to suck a dick? You want to go home and suck a dick? No. Yeah, grow up. Okay, the final what's gayer. Imagine going home. Imagine going home.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Okay. The swing on the bus. Yeah. The swing on the bus. All girls together. Leopard print. Yeah. There's a lot of velvet. There's a lot of innuendo. There's a lot of camel toe. Yeah. Yes. There's also that one specific scene, which is the gayest thing I've ever seen, is where they have to fly over the bridge whilst it's closing on the car or bus or whatever the fuck it was.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
They obviously made this like a... They didn't even try to make it look like CGI or anything. It was just kind of like a toy. Like a toy London Bridge and a toy car going over. That is the gayest thing I've ever seen. That is gay. Sorry, Spice World.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
forget also for the sporty one alone gay yeah no for sure all i would have had to have said then was sporty one yeah and you did win you did win what's gayer congratulations you did amazing you were really really good thank you um we have a few askadikes that we're gonna have you answer okay for it to end this episode and guys i'm having the best time ever you're amazing you're an amazing i mean of course this is what you do for a living no this is so weird to be on the other side i've never been on the other side of a podcast before yeah this is my first
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, you're amazing. It's my virginity. Thank you so much.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I was about to say. So is the issue that she's because she said, I'm actually OK with you showing the world how hot you are, but just don't show the photos. Maybe it's because the photos were taken for her. So they seem less special. So that's what she said in the message, right? So it's like, just take more. So that's the problem. Right.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Then you could probably meet a mutual agreement, which is like, OK, I did. Personally, I think that like if like if a girlfriend of mine was posting like half naked photos online or whatever, I wouldn't really like if I was OK with that, it wouldn't really bother me that they were even photos that were taken for me initially. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? For sure.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It would bother me if she was uploading photos of me. Yeah, for sure. But like the other way, I mean, is she looking to maybe like monetize this?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Maybe go to therapy. Right. Because it's a bit bizarre, honestly. That would be a red flag for me. Which one? The fact that she now is... Now that she feels like she's got a load of lesbian followers, that she feels like she needs to almost portray... Sexualize herself. Sexualize herself online. And I think that maybe you could probably think... Why am I doing this? What's the purpose?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And if the purpose genuinely, I don't know. Because the thing is that usually people would do that to get the following. Not like once the following's there, they then do it. Because that's not necessarily why they followed her. It's also maybe seeming a bit like, I need people to call me sexy. Are you not getting that elsewhere? Are you not feeling confident within yourself?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I also think that it's like, also like, yeah, to go on the flip side, like power of autonomy. Like we are our own individual people. And if you feel like you really want to fucking do that, I mean, like they've already had discussions about it. It's not like she's got like a fake account where she's posting stuff. Yeah. My only thing is I'm like, What are the photos like, really?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And if you're concerned about it, just maybe have like a conversation with the girlfriend and be like, is everything okay here? Right. You know? Right. Be as open as possible, babies. Yes. Yes. Okay. We have another one. Just do the breath again. Okay. Amazing.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Dominance is an attitude, babe. It doesn't matter how tall you are. Like the six twos in the room can attest to this, right? Thank you. Yes. So in my last relationship, Scarlett was 5'11 and I'm 5'6. So that's like quite a big height difference. you do naturally feel a little bit like, oh, let me just run after you, darling, with your big long legs. And I can't get there quite as fast.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And I'm like trying to like kiss me. I'm just like jumping up. And it's not sexy. You do feel like a bit of a dickhead sometimes. But we're all the same height lying down, girls. Like, I just genuinely think that it's like, it is a nasty thing. If she says that she thinks that she deserves it, that doesn't then mean that it's something physically that she can give it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Does she mean like more like mentally? I think it's a mental thing. Right. So like your your mental shouldn't mix up to your height. You should just be like, OK, I'm going to be more dominant on this.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
No, but imagine being like, oh, baby, I'll go and get the bill this time. You go over to the bill and they're like, you've got to be five foot to pay this bill. For sure. Imagine they did, though. Right. They're like, sorry, you're not tall enough, honey. Go get your mom.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. You just got to own it and like own that confidence. That sounds like her insecurity because clearly like her girlfriend is more than happy with her with the height that she is. Therefore, she should be able to have the ability to be more dominant. It's like ebb and flows relationships. Dominance, right?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Right? Yes, like that. No, I mean, I don't know. It's really hard because right now I'm filtering through my mates. And I'm like, which one of you would I shag? Would you shag a friend? Would you? I have done in the past. I feel like lesbian culture is very much like... I really don't think I could now. I really don't think I could. But it depends. I mean, who knows?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
If it was like a medical emergency. Oh, so this is a medical emergency. I'm doing the act of God for making them come. Yes. Yes, because I love a challenge. Great. Yeah. So she... This is challenge road rules.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Did they have, like, a meeting? They had a sit-down, yes. So how would you rather this happen? She's like, I'd rather you eat my pussy, actually.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Also, the pressure's probably already her problem.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I'm going to punch the wall after this happens.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
For sure. No time crunch. Yes. No car. Yeah, for sure. And I also like, OK, so really, it is crazy to me how they came to the conclusion of being eaten out when especially the fact that she is a fucking virgin. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
And actually, women find it harder to come usually by being eaten out, I think, than like anything else or like maybe like a combination of like so many different things.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
right i feel like there's a lot of pressure when someone's going down on you because it's like you're you can really get in your head a lot more whereas like when they're like on top of you and their face is like right here and it's very sexual and it's a whole thing you're not feeling as like pressure conscious yeah by yourself yeah you're by yourself up here you really are like oh interesting and then just just and then i just think oh imagine how bad the angle looks of me from where you are right i think you're getting all the bad angles double chin well especially in a car
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Especially in a car. In a car is crazy. That's nuts. I have gone down a car. Yeah, I have done that. How?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
You're in the backseat. Right. You're in the backseat looking out. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Diet Pepsi was written about me. Got it. Yeah. Love that. So, yeah, don't do any of that shit. And also maybe try different things too. Don't just like go straight to going down on someone. I feel like going straight to that is like quite intense.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
From the top. I'm going to be a bitch. You're an idiot.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So much pressure. Maybe they live at home with parents. We were talking virgin. We're talking car. Maybe they both live at home with parents. Yeah, they could be young. Maybe, if you still want to do it in the car, because look, everyone loves car sex. Great. Fun, fun, fun. Does everyone?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
for sure frisky it's fun it's like it's impulsive you're like oh my god i thought we were just this is the least impulsive thing i've ever i mean they did do you know what i just think imagine then like so she was just like get in the car yeah and just like sit in the car and be like i'm gonna i'm gonna eat you out now and you're gonna love it and you're gonna come like it's weird it's too much pressure but if you are gonna do it during the back seats yeah yes or on the hood of the fucking car for sure yeah for everyone to watch yeah not in the trunk it's so scary but
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
She's in the trunk still. Yeah, you've got to be so careful about the shit that you keep in your trunk.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
i've had women kind of have that energy towards me where they're like i'm gonna teach you a thing or two hate it i i can always tell and my body's like good luck bitch yeah now i'm out so i'm out not clocked out yeah like don't enjoy the ride enjoy the journey the journey is the main part it's like the as soon as you start to think about coming it ain't gonna fucking happen or if you're like i'm gonna need to come or like this has been going on for too long now like i'm gonna need to go your it's just a time crunch is the worst thing yeah just have fun lean into it be comfortable you
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh my God, I'm stealing that. You should. People love it.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Thank you so much. That's why you're married. Exactly.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yes. Wow. What do I play? What Spotify playlist do you put on? Oh, my God. Honestly, anything. I'm a buck wild to any shit. Like, I love country music. Stop. You're doing country. Don't try to run, honey. Don't try to run. Come back here now. Oh, my God. No. It's just more like...
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
fuck me i've had some like latin dj music playing before a bit of rihanna but then you're like having a good time and then love the way you lie comes on and then you hear it can't tell me you can't come to eminem no no one has ever come to eminem no one but um yeah it can be just like a mixture of so many different things uh country rock Jesus. Now, what is country rock?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Don't tell me why it works. It just does. Interesting. What even is it? Don't tell me. Country rock would be like... I'm going to have to play you some, but it's like... I actually don't know what that is. It's like, you know, they're kind of like the sleazy, like electric guitar, kind of a bit like bluesy. Okay. Yeah. Lame. I'm not lame as fuck. No, it's not lame.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
But I feel like it's just, it's just if the vibe is good. Like I love anything that's like a bit more chill too. I think the thing is, is like when there's too many lyrics, it can sometimes like really intensify a situation too.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So I'm ADHD too, but I think that it almost helps me because I'm a tabs, all tabs open kind of girl. Like I have so much shit going on all in one go. So I feel like I get way too much like in the head if there isn't music playing. I'm like, what's my breath saying? Yeah, you can't have dead silence. Why am I doing this? Why is my hip creaking? I'm at that age now, girls. Why is my hip creaking?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
yes wow we blew out the mic on that one oh sorry kids no that's so real why is my hip creaking is really real yeah so all of the above music fuck it yeah what wouldn't I listen to in the bedroom yeah it would be like screamo probably oh for sure yeah no yeah vibe music less lyrics is better I think but anything sad I can't fuck to anything sad no yeah Sad music. I'm so sensitive to music.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It's insane. As soon as I hear a sad song, she's out. She's crying. Yeah. I cry. You can't do it. Sweet. A sensitive. I know. Very sensitive.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Yeah, so you can follow me on underscore It's Freya on Instagram and I think it's like underscore underscore It's Freya on TikTok for some fucking reason. There's at Lesbian Supper Club pod and Lesbian Supper Club on Spotify and all your other streaming sites to give us a listen on there. Fuck. I think that's all of them.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
You really are. And thank you so much for having me on as well. I've had the best time. We love you. We're in love with you. I love your podcast. I love how it's like the duo, like the two lesbian podcasters come together. Truly. It feels right. From across the sea. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Okay. I didn't even say my full name, but there it is. Evans.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Thank you so much for having me. I'm honestly buzzing my tits off right now. Me too. I'm so excited.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Honey, this is why I cycled here. I did some like extra pushups. Yeah, it's incredible. And then I was like, I'm fucking ready. Yeah. Dykes. And we appreciate that.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So it's cycling. Cycling. Sorry. Yeah. Cycling on a line bike. It's basically if you have a death wish because they're quite fast, especially the way that I go. And like an ETA is not an ETA. It's a challenge. Yeah. Right. So it said it was going to take me 27 minutes to get here to be 21. And that is terrifying. I know. Do you have a helmet? No. Oh, God. I know. I know.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Whenever somebody complains about cyclists, I feel like it is directly towards me. I'd love to get video of this. I'd love to get some CCTV. Good luck trying to catch that speed. Honestly. No one has a camera fast enough to capture that.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That's such a good idea. Look to the side.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
You blink. Do you know what I would do is like get off the bike and then you know the little like stand bit that like you put the bike on just like flip that quickly so she couldn't go anywhere. Where's my number? It sounds like assault but I actually think it might work. It sounds like assault but it's not. Not if it's you. Look, I mean well. I mean well. Or you just lie in front of the bike.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
It's a really good one. It is good. And it's like, oh, can you be my emergency contact? Yes. CPR immediately. Guys, write this down.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Exactly. I do that. Yeah. See, look, it is a femme privilege. I would say it is. That's what I'm saying. It's mainly because we kind of, we pass through the world looking straight, right? Right. So we're cocky as fuck. Yes. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Yeah, because they have their way with you. Exactly. Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That is a go-to move of a femme. I feel like femmes are just out here railing me. Oh, my God. Femmes rail the hardest. Yes. Femmes are feral. Yes, yes. We do have something to prove. I think it's mainly as well. It's like, if I'm fighting bottom allegations, left, right, and fucking center, tooth and nail. And who is alleging this? Everyone. Well, I don't know. The ghosts. I don't fucking know.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I know it. I know it. There's an energy. Right. I don't fucking know. Is there? Yes.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
With an energy. Well, you rode something here. You rode a bike here.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So I'm like, I'm not seeing femmes as having this bottom energy. No, of course not. No, but that's because you are a femme. I think the thing is, I'm also wearing a tank top. It all changes if I've got on something different, you know. And I was going to go, I was like, I'm going to look as gay as possible. And this is as gay as I get. This is as gay as a gay. Wow, really? For me, maybe.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I don't know. Maybe it could get worse. Probably.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Oh, Were you closeted for a while? Babe, yeah, I was closeted for so long. Really? Yeah, it's actually so funny because I saw this photo. I'm going to actually have to show it to you right now. Yeah. Because I had this very conversation today and I was like, I don't understand why I had such an issue with just being gay. Like, what was my problem? But there's a funny backstory behind this photo.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So have a look at it. This is in, yeah, 2013. So if you have a look at her. Right. She's giving like major femme era. Right. Back then. OK. Yeah. We'll have Leah put that up. And that just doesn't look like you. So it doesn't look like me. Right. Because I was pretending to have boyfriends left, right and center.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
The funny thing is about that photo is that that was just before I picked up my girlfriend from the airport, my long distance girlfriend who I made in like to stay in the closet with me.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
oh shit what an asshole so you had a conversation yes and you have a boyfriend when you're here babe it's really bad because i was so petrified and like this was when i think i was probably about 20 there and i came out when i was 21 okay so i had started dating her when i just turned 19 and obviously long distance relationship it felt very safe for me because i was like brazil hot Yeah.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
So I was like, OK, she's all the way in Brazil. Always wanted to go there. What a great excuse. Yep. And also I can lean into this thing without anyone knowing.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Exactly. Exactly. So if we were to go back to the beginning, I mean, when I was a kid, I had a mullet. I would only ever wear boys clothes.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I'm going to see the mullet. I'd love to see it. The mullet, I was bringing that in in 2005, I think, was my time.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
This is a straight woman. I love dick. I was giving dick-loving energy. Not with a mullet.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
That was mine too. Yeah. You were going to be a pester.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
I didn't know you would do that to me. I did. I kind of like, I want you to do like a rendition of like a sister act. Sister act four. But make it really lesbian. Yeah. I mean, it's already pretty lesbian. So all the nuns are like, yeah, lezzing off.
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Can I sing? What about Sister Axe songs? Do we know any of them?
Two Dykes And A Mic
#312 - Eating Your Friend Out with Freya
Yeah. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. Oh, Happy Gay. There we go. Oh, you can sing. Yeah, that's lesbian. Yeah. We actually can do everything. Yeah, we can do everything.