Frankie
Appearances
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Welcome back to the base- Welcome back to the Basement Yard, our 500th episode. That's 10.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And then he tells me, he's like, by the way, I just want, you know, I didn't want to, cause I was in the lobby and I didn't want to tell you I'm a huge fan. He's like, I'm a huge fan of yours. And you know, whatever. I love the podcast. I was like, Oh, thank you, man. I appreciate it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
No. So I went to a different one and he actually made a comment. He was like, Oh, you know, we were jealous that you went to the other one. And I was like, oh, I don't even know how the fuck they knew that. I think because they were checking the system. Yeah, the records. So he says that, and I'm like, okay, cool. And he leaves the room for a second to go get the doctor. I look down.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Because, yeah, because I'm like always – before we go on stage, I'm like checking to see that it's open. But it was so –
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
dude i'm not kidding so cavernous it was so open just like what kind of pants were you wearing jeans i was wearing a pants like kind of like these like a whatever but like i think the way that i was sitting it just didn't help and it was so opened and i'm like this guy's getting a look at my penis and the dog and the dog's penis so he's seeing one of them is a real hot spot and the other one is just just a spot playfully infected spot just a dot
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, and I was like, oh, okay, thanks. But that was like no discount, but, you know, they did a good job.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I was totally okay with that. I mean, it wasn't a huge bill. The other one was a pretty big bill.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You don't even listen when I talk. Because nobody is going to milk my dog, Frank.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You've got so much karma. You're coming your way. It's insane.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Please tell me this was like, oh, my big fat tits or something. It was it? What'd it say? Bro, the guy...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So that was your sign? That was my sign. Damn, dude. You should have been like, this will be good for the podcast and walked over and be like, hey, Rusty, what are you watching? Yeah. The fuck is this? You wanted me to, like, inquire and just be like, let's sit down and analyze this together. I mean, I don't have that in me.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I could never do that to a stranger and walk up and be like, are you blasting audio porn right now? What's going on, sir?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Bro, you know what's crazy? Like, obviously that's ridiculous. There's... Those videos that exist... You said that one was like AI or something? It sounded like... Like, the cadence was very AI-like. You know what I mean? It probably was. And he was like, oh... I can only imagine what he was watching, honestly. Oh, God. I've been getting these, like...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
tiktok shop fucking ads or something bro but they're so weird it's like a girl in the middle of telling a story about oh my boyfriend has never clapped my cheeks as hard as he has this past weekend and then she's selling some product like ashwagandha pills or something it's like my boyfriend like was clapping the thunder clapping the shit out of my cheeks and i'm like
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And so a dude is watching that being like, oh, if he thunderclapped her shit, then I'm going to thunderclap some cat.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You know what I'm talking about? Did I ever tell you what I went to? I, when I lived in Astoria, I went to the deli and I got a sandwich and I'm, uh, I'm paying for it. And the dude goes, he starts pointing to like, cause there's like, it's right next to the, it's literally as you're paying, it's right here. Yeah, and literally it's like giraffe tits or something. You know what I'm saying? Yes.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Hard giraffe dick or whatever it's called. And it's like something like that. And he's like, yo, you want – you need this? And I was like, no, I'm good. He's like, no, bro. He's like, you need it. And I'm like, what's going on, bro? I'm trying to buy a sandwich from you. I'm trying to like help out.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, I was like, yo, why do you think that I need some, you know, turbo hyena dick or whatever the fuck? Like what vibes am I giving off that you think I need that?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Nothing has ever, I've eaten anything. I've been like, it's go time. It's never happened to me.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Horny hot sauce. I'm giving you that for free, by the way. We're not going to market a horny hot sauce. Everyone else is doing it. I know.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I know. You might as well. I know. It is kind of crazy that those are like a thing. And again, we're not saying there's an issue with people who have ED. I get it. Correct. People have erectile dysfunction. That's totally fine. But if you're going to buy your pills... right next to where you would buy a lighter.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, fuck that motherfucker that was pawning off the pills. Yeah, that's crazy. And saying that I needed them.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's also about going fast and then an animal. Yeah, so it would be like nitrous oxide hyena dick fucker. I don't know. We'll workshop the name. We're coming up with stuff, but we do have some ads. That's not a good place to start. We do have some ads for this episode. The first one being, how you doing? Stitch Fix. Shopping is hard, but a better way to do that? With Stitch Fix.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Since I had... Oh, my head of hair. I'm so glad that I can sing because I've been like losing my voice kind of because I was like sick.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Stitch Fix is like an online stylist. Okay, you go onto their website, you take a style quiz, you tell them, I like wearing clothes like this, I like stripes, I like this kind of fit, I'm this tall, this is my waist size, stuff like that.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You let them know the kind of clothes that you like to wear, and then they get to work, and they pull a bunch of stuff from a bunch of brands that you know and love, they send it to your house, and you only pay for the stuff that you keep. Okay, the rest you send back, and... Returns are always free. So whatever you send back or whatever, you don't have to pay for. It's great.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But it's a great way to kind of keep your closet clean. current. Okay. You always get it. And it's nice to get a little package every once in a while and be like, Ooh, some new clothes, you know, and someone's working for you. They know your style, what you like to wear, which brands you like, and they'll send stuff to your house. It's amazing. So make style easy.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Get started today at stitch fix.com slash basement. That is stitch fix.com slash basement, but they will send you all that stuff. Okay. And they'll make sure that you're looking good. Um, speaking of looking good, we also have skims. Okay. Skims. You know, I know a lot of people think this is just women's underwear, but no.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
They have Skims men's, and this is some of the most comfortable underwear I've ever put on my body, okay? They have... When it first came out, I was like, damn, it's just for women. It looks very comfortable on their skin. I wish that I could have some of that, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. But now they have Skims men's. They have awesome underwear, and they're amazing, okay?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
perfect amount of tight okay if you want it too tight sometimes you get underwear that's too tight and you're like okay this is too crazy now I feel like I can't breathe in this thing but it's a perfect amount of tight it keeps everything where it needs to be and it's like breathable so it's not like a sweat factory down there if you know what I'm talking about and fellas I know you do
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So Skims, they have awesome boxer briefs. They have a stretch brief. They have a bunch of different things. Go check them out. Shop Skims men's and more at Skims.com. They also have a flagship store on 5th Ave. So you can go check that out if you're in the New York area. but they are the official underwear partner of the NBA, WNBA, and USA basketball.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So when you go to Skims and you buy some stuff, let them know that we sent you. After you place your order, select podcast in the survey, and then select our show in the drop-down menu that follows. So go get that. Men, women, whoever, Skims.com. Get yourself some underwear. Let them know we sent you.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Bro, I've done a number on this. I'm at just below two. Holy shit, this is 1.5 liters? Yeah, I'm not finishing this.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
No, I fixed it. You fixed it? That's crazy. He just said my dog's pants was hot. Hot spot, baby. No, I know what you meant. Hot spot. I know what you said.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
No, I haven't, but they have elephant sanctuaries out there, and I would love to pet an elephant.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I would ride it. I would, but I feel like not if they're mean to the elephants.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Horsepower. Oh, I felt horsepower. You ever get in a Mustang? Yeah, I felt it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah. I mean, goldfish are a gateway fish to gayness. Let's be honest. Are they?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can't, I'm not, I'm not ready to speak words yet because of how, what the fuck that's a big bitch. If, if there are things in the world that exists like that, dude, we don't have a big enough military then. Oh, we, we definitely imagine. I mean, we do, we do spend a lot of, you know, it's crazy. We have a big military. Yeah, we haven't. Yeah, but I don't trust them. I trust the military.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I don't trust the people who control the military is what I wanted to say. Um,
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
we're on an episode this has become keep drinking um dude what would you do if you came in and that was just like hanging from here a giant there's nothing you could do you would be spider you'd be dead fuck how much did i drink already um yeah no i'm not excited about that at all i mean if i saw a snake i'm not like afraid of snakes but anything that big i'm afraid of anything that big you're afraid of elephants
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
See, I'm when it comes to animals like that, I'm in the same way. I'm like. We're dumb in different ways. Who's we? Me and you. Oh, we're dumb in different ways. No, no. So like you think you could like beat animals up. I think. Well, actually, no, this is similar because with you and gorillas where you're like, oh, I'll kind of like whatever. I think that.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I have something in me that when animals see me, they know that like, I'm their bowl. You're not a threat. And not that I'm not even a threat that I'm just like, that I get them. Like they see me and they're like, Oh, like a doctor do. I'm dead ass. I think this.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
When I am walking on the street and I see a dog and we make eye contact, I really think that they see me and they in their mind, they're like, oh, yeah, no, that's a good that's good. Like, I think that they understand. Like a dog barking or whatever, I feel like I would walk up to it and it would stop barking. You're like Cesar Millan, basically, is what you're saying.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
What I am is fucking stupid. Yeah, we know that. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I feel like that. But I would say giant snakes I don't feel that way with. I don't think. Elephants. An angry elephant who's doing the thing. What? If I walked up to them and I just felt like I could calm it. You've got to get on the side of them. You'd put your hand under here. You'd do that.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'd look into his eye and I'd be like, it's okay, big fella. And it would chill. Gotcha. And I don't know if that's real, but I feel that in my heart. Big fella. I don't know if I would use that language.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I don't know that I've seen an elephant vagina in my day, but.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, exactly. I watched a video of a rhino taking a dump the other day.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'll see you guys later. I'll tell you this. They produce a lot of dump. A lot. A good a lot.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah. Just to have it? Or, like, if it was big enough that I could, like, pick stuff up? Go to that first picture, babe.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Bro, I'm talking about animals. You're talking about snacks? Well, I started with goldfish. I thought you were talking about the rainbow fish in the book with the scale that's holographic.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Before we get into Katy Perry, do you think that's real or is it fake?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
First of all, I'm with you. No. No, no, no. Not doing it. But like the idea that I could be above the earth looking at it and then also look into space for a second is so crazy. I can't even imagine – I almost feel like it can't be real because if that was me and I went into space and I saw the earth in front of me and then I saw space behind me and I landed back on earth.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I know. No, how do you get down and you hold up a flower and you promote your album? I'd be like, bro, I'm not me anymore.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Dude, if I go and I see this thing and I – You'd be doing the Jim Carrey thing. You ever see his interviews where he's like, I'm not me. I'm a fictional character of – Bro, I would lose my mind because the idea of seeing –
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Can't we see the sun? We see it from here, babe. That's not what I mean. I mean, like, if you're in space, if you look at the sun, what does it look like? The sun. But, like, so you can't look at the sun, though, is my point.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
The sun is... It's crazy. It's big. Big, brother. Bro, also the sun. is really the father. Really, if it decides, I'm not going to work today, we're all dead.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I would say 150 million Earths. Yeah, it's a lot. I would say...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
How is the sun in space burning so hot that it warms the earth? Yeah. But as we know it, fire needs oxygen. Without oxygen, there can't be fire. But in space, there's no oxygen.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Like a real incel? You think that, first of all, you are not going to pass combos over to the incel community.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
How is that happening that the sun is like- Well, hydrogen is important.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Correct, yes. Okay. For the audio listeners, you have no idea what's going on. No, no, no. It's our 500th episode. Also, for the audio listeners, you can't see this. Yeah, there's big eyes. But Frankie's dream has come to fruition. We have two big fat beer towers.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Maybe we shouldn't talk about the end of the earth apocalypse because I don't want to go there. I'm having a good day.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Because Kesha went to Wendy's and was like, ha, ha, ha, and she posted a picture. Wait, what?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm not familiar. I know that Kesha... Something happened to Kesha. Something not cool. I don't know if that has something to do with this. I have no idea. I honestly don't know. All I know is that people are like, ooh, Kesha's shading fucking Katy Perry.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's like tone deaf. I heard that Katy Perry was like, I recommend this to everyone. And it's like, bro, we can't afford to do that. What the fuck are you talking about? That we can go do that. It was like her, Gayle King, and other people. Oh, I saw the video of them walking on, and Gayle did not look happy.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Here's what I'll say. I don't know. If there's a reason to hate Katy Perry, that'd be fun. I love hating people. What? Right? But... I think if there isn't a legitimate reason to hate Katy Perry, right? And she got back from space and Wendy's was just like, send that bitch back. That's fucking hilarious. It is. And if I'm Katy Perry, bro. Bro, if I'm Katy Perry, I'm beefing.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm going on Twitter and be like, suck my dick. Bro, I'm beefing with Wendy's so bad. If there's nothing. If there's nothing is what I'm saying. If Wendy's just like...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
We don't know? But why from Wendy's? I'm trying to put myself in Katy Perry's shoes. If I went to space and came back and it was such a crazy moment for me, and then Wendy's was like, yo, send his ass back. I'd be like, suck my dick, Wendy's? Like, what the fuck did I do to you?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
That's how I got my start. Oh, with Taco Bell? Yeah, I've seen people reenact our interaction. It would be nuts.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Which is crazy. I was hyped that a verified account even replied to me.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
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The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I feel like that, too. I feel like if I didn't want to have sex with women, then I would probably love it.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah. Every day. Get them. Um, there was a, there was a tweet that I saw and it was a dude and like, I mean, obviously it's the internet. So who knows if this is like real, but it was a dude's, uh, Like, Tinder profile. Starts it off with trigger warning.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
If you write your own trigger warning to, like, your bio or, like, oh, I might say something offensive. Or if it's, like, me and my boy, if we started a podcast, we get canceled immediately. Canceled immediately. Yeah. Yo, you guys are sick, dude. Just say you're racist. It says, let me guess, you're 25 with three kids. This is how he's starting off. Wait, who's he saying this to?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And you've done had your fun. Now you don't want that. You want a real man to settle down with and take care of you and your kids because you let a loser nut inside you. Jesus Christ. Then the ultimate, I'm six foot even. We're starting off with the height. That's what you guys do. I mean, when you start off with your height or if your height is in your bio, then your dick is tiny. Tiny.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm six foot even, have my own house, two vehicles. Vehicles.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
What do you bring to the table? If the answer is someone else's kids, then go kick rocks. No man will ever want you. Stop saying you're thick. You're obese. Also, you're not a dog mom. You're a pet owner. Jesus Christ.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
We got down to the bottom here. This is kind of insane. No, I wouldn't say that. But what do you know? I'm definitely beating you. My thing is, like, I don't understand why there's men on the Internet thinking like if your objective is to attract women. Why is the thought process like, I'm going to insult them first?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But like, I understand that my, my, what I'm saying is like, it's interesting for me to see guys thinking that in order to make myself look desirable and I have to be mean or have to say negative things about women. And like, this is what I bring to the table. So and you don't write. It's not necessarily about making yourself be like, OK, if you want to be successful, you want to be in shape.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You want to do all those things. That's great. That's a great thing. You don't need to then put down women at the same time because that hurts your chances at being attractive. I don't get the idea that you're like... Yeah, because you're not an idiot.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Well, no, that's not what I was going to say. I do do that sometimes, especially with Oreos. You scrape. I can scrape an Oreo clean, dude.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm just saying I think that if the objective is to be, like, a high-value man, the value – like – Oh, my God. Hold on. So listen, right?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Oh, yeah. I'm saying like. If the objective is to be attractive to women, right? And even the term high-value man. I hate that shit so much. Same. But who determines the value? I think if you're talking about the dating market, the person who makes the value is the opposite person. You know what I mean? Like you're only a high-value man if women see you as a high-value man.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But the little crackers, the Ritz crackers with the cheese, I'll like put the whole thing in my mouth and then kind of open it, eat the one side of the cracker, bullshit. You know, I get what you're saying. You know what I like to do? I haven't even gotten to the meat and potatoes of what I'm saying here. Go ahead. I'm sorry. You're right. I get it down. Now I just have cracker and then cheese.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
No, but that's my point. Like I'm saying, the term high-value man, like who determines the value? It makes more sense to me to be like, well, you're a high-value man because a lot of women want you, not because a lot of dudes want you. Like, if you're a straight guy— Unless you're gay, and that's cool. Well, yeah, no, that's not what I'm talking about, though.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But, like, if you're a straight guy, if you're a high-value man, that means that women are determining the value because those are the people that are choosing. You know what I mean? Supply and demand, baby. I completely get it. So, like, you're saying you want to be a high-value man—
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
because other men think that you're high value or something like you're trying to prove a point to other men like that doesn't but that doesn't like you're you're isolating this is what this is I know that I'm not like confused I'm just like talking but you are confused and I'm not confused you're stupid
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Can someone explain how these things always are bubbling? What is carbonation? Carbonation is gas CO2 Yeah It's carbon dioxide Is it CO2? I think so I think so Yeah They pump into it But there's always bubbles You ever have a glass of champagne And there's one It's like one bubble It's getting like bigger And it just goes one line straight up Oh, yeah. What the fuck is that? How is that a thing?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
And then I take the cheese and I try to get it off of the cracker. And then I take the cheese and I rub it on the top of my mouth with my tongue. And then it just like gets all dusty on the top of my mouth. And then I eat it. Anybody else do that?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Let me ask you another question. So I'll ask you two. Then I'll get to you because I know your answer is double. If you're going out... Let's say we're – Set the scene.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm not going to say – let's say that like Becca and the kids are like –
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
somewhere else they went on a vacation somewhere and you're not there without me okay things okay at home i'm trying to i'm trying to set a scene where it's like you don't have like responsibilities to go back to or anything like that i can come out with me and i have no responsibilities oh that's not what i'm saying my my you'll you'll see what i'm saying if you if you don't have like that whole thing and it's like okay you're gonna you're where me and you are gonna go out and get after it um
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I guess how many drinks do you think that you would usually have on a night out like that?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Um, okay. So it's like a dinner and then we'll go to a cocktail bar after maybe like three, maybe three.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, like you can't... Whoever's drinking the most out of the group.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So if we go out... So dinner and cocktails, we're talking about... Let's say dinner's at 7.30. And then we go out for cocktails and we're done by like 11. Okay, so that's three and a half hours. Yeah. Like I drink an hour? Yeah, I would say.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I think that when I go out with my friends, if we're going out, if I go out at like 7 o'clock, I'll usually have like five.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I feel like back then you were like, I don't want to say worse and make it like that, but you could drink a lot of beer.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, dude, I, bro, we have, if I go out and it's just dinner, it's a little date night.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Two. Yeah. Something like that. One or two. I don't see my friends that often. So like maybe like. I don't know, like every other weekend on average, maybe something like that. But there's like times where I don't I don't see my friends for like a month or something like that. But if I'm going out like it's usually like five or six drinks.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Well, that's what I'm saying. If you're like, oh, we're going to this thing at noon, that's a mistake. My issue... Is burpee. No, no, no. You're a burpee boy. Well, I am. Well, you're... Sorry, you're a... Yeah. Cause I have that thing. I have a disease. People told me I have a disease. You do. It's called like something. R or PD or, or you have, you have PDD. No, I don't have PDD.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
It's R it's C3PO or R2D2. R2D2 DD. But it's, it's something where it's like, you can't burp. So it doesn't. There you go. Oh, hiccups.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Everyone's got fucking college degrees over here. Degrees now. College dungarees.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I got the C3PO. That's it. When I was talking about it on the show, someone messaged me and was like, this is what it is. I have it too. And then I started getting fed a bunch of TikToks about it. And I was like, this is me. I don't care. So I'm just...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah. Do you think that we'll get to a point in life where it's like drinking is like cigarettes to us?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I think people are not drinking because of hangovers. I think they're not drinking because it's not good.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
They absolutely have them already It's called drugs my guy So that's what that is But yeah I mean we got so close Well Some of us got closer Some of us Are you closer than me?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
No. You would do something like that. It would. It would do it. That would be the Piggy Boys. Like, we're doing Vodka Towers. Like, bro, you guys are crazy. Yeah, you guys are sickos.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Just want to say 500 episodes of The Basement Yard. Very crazy. I can say as, you know, when I started the podcast, I thought of it as a thing that was very supplementary to what I was doing at the time. And just being like... This is cool. It was the first time I heard myself on a microphone. It sounds really cool to hear your voice in headphones and through a microphone or whatever.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
We abandoned the headphones, but I was like, oh, wow, this feels very professional or whatever, and it was cool to me, but it never felt like the thing, and now it's just brought so much to my life, so I appreciate it. 500 episodes of this show, and... It's really cool. I'm really proud of it. I'm glad that you're here doing the thing with me, too. Ant, also happy that you're here.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You thought I was going to say something negative? I thought you were going to say... No, no, no. I'm happy Ant's here, too.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I can't deny it. Thank you guys so much for being around for 500 episodes. Hopefully you're around for 500 more at least. A couple more. A couple more at least.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
But not even going to do a regular sign-off, but we appreciate you guys. Thank you so much. Love it. What a ride. Having a great time. Love it. Love it. Fibs and fubs it. See you next time.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I'm sitting here with Barbara Walters. Thank you for that question. Um, Oh, I thought you were just going to slam, wham, bam. Maybe the next one. What? I like what you got going on here. I'm a big fan of cream and green. The cream and green is good. I don't know what it is lately, but I'm greened out, baby. Bro, me too. Ant was just talking shit. He's like, everything you do is green.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Green phone? Bro, I got a green phone, too! Green face? Ooh! Green pants? How's your undies? Whoa, oh, you're green. How are my undies today? How are you?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
There's no cream in these boxers. Frank showed up to the shoot yesterday. The socks that this man had on. You know, enough.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
If you were to wear women's underwear, what kind do you think you would wear? Would you thong? Listen. Or would you wear panties?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Cheers to us. Clink me. Clink me. Dink me. Throw it in my stink pee. Wow. Oh, man. All right. Michelob Ultra. That's what you bought. I feel like I'm on a golf course right now. Frank's not drinking Michelob Ultra, but...
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You're going granny pants. I'm going underwears, babe. What about, what's that called? Booty shorts or something? I don't know.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about like, they're like shorts kind of. I'd wear those.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Apparently, everyone's wearing them. It's all the rage these days. It's all the rage. Those kids are wearing the thongs. The kids love the thongs. Ew, that was disgusting. Yeah, disgusting. Here we go. Make sure you edit that. It yells at you, right? Yeah. Look at your hands. Look at your hands. Hang that up. Also, I had a very interesting... I went back to the vet for my dog. Oh, my God.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I guess you can now. Actually, I guess you can nowadays. I don't even know. Nowadays? Where's the connection? Here we go. Jesus, would you fill that with vodka in there?
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Welcome back to the basement yard. Perfect. I went back to the vet, and it's because I saw that my dog was, like, licking his penis a lot.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Technically, yeah. Okay. Technically, I had to refer to my dog's penis as a hot spot. Yeah. Also, I had to get in there and check it out. You jerked off your dog? That's not how you check it out. So, he was licking his... Hey, giggles!
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
so he was the fuck i when we got back from uh europe i picked up my dog and my mom was like hey he's been licking his penis a lot and i was like maybe he's just like in that kind of mood i don't know i would if i could you know what i mean before huh there's several you would you we would frank if you could i don't know frank what are you even saying anyway i pick up the dog
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
You heard giggles again, right? He laughed like this. I pick up the dog, and she's like, he's licking his penis a lot. I'm like, okay. So then I notice him doing it, and I'm in my apartment. So I go over. I'm inspecting this dog's penis, right? And he's looking at me.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
Looking at it. What do you want me to do? Well, dogs have retractable dicks. It's not on his actual red rocket penis. It's like the sheath.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
So I just saw something there. I was like, oh, yeah, it looks a little red. I'm going to take him to the vet. So I take him to the vet. Wait, his penis looks a little red. There's like a thing that looks like a cut. So I'm like, oh, it's probably a hotspot. You know, because like if they get cut, they start licking it and then it could spread. Whatever. So I looked at a little infected.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
I go to the... Ant's looking at me like I was the one licking it. Like he was licking his own fucking hotspot. I mean, nothing. I wasn't. Okay. I get to the doctor and he's like, oh, you know, what's going on? It's like, I think there's a hotspot on my dog's penis. He's like, okay, we'll kind of check it out or whatever, and he's a super nice guy. Technically, it was your dog's foreskin.
The Basement Yard
#500 - Cheers To 500!
What is the point of this interjection that you just had? What are you trying to establish that you don't already know? I'm trying to hear myself talk. I know. Trying to hear myself. she's whistling. Um, so I, I go in there and I'm like, Oh, there's something wrong with my dog's penis or whatever. And then he's like, okay, cool. We'll check it out.
The Brett Cooper Show
Can b00bs Save The Planet? | Episode 15
Shattered glass. Cops are having to push people out. They're dragging people out of the showroom. Wait, what are you doing to this guy?
The Brett Cooper Show
Can b00bs Save The Planet? | Episode 15
My name is Frankie, and I'm getting arrested today protesting Elon Musk. He bought his way into office. He bought his way into heading a government agency. He bought his power at the expense of the American people, at the expense of our environment, at the expense of our world, and all of the people in it.