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Eve

Appearances

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 2

1580.318

Bernie? I have been blowing you up all night. You got arrested? Where are you?

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 2

1588.467

Why? Is that George R.R. Martin motherfucker listening? Are you okay? Long story. Okay, I'll explain later.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 2

181.631

I have questions. No time, Eve. Gotta be a hero. Is your party over? How did it go?

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 2

191.674

Indiana? What's in Indiana? An orphanage, Eve. Two tickets. You're getting on a plane? Standby doesn't let you do first class.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 2

202.843

What is going on? Who is this man? Is this your uncle or something? Yeah, that's good. Let's go with that. What happened to your crippling fear of flying heights and the first final destination?

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1102.622

Sexual! I tried. Okay, wait. Nestle, the only cookie suitable for Santa. Fuck yeah.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1117.856

Chocolate chips, chocolate chips.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1127.158

Oh yeah, miracle gelt.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1161.878

Ouch! Patience, practice, patience.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1570.98

Right. I weed-roofied Santa.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

1857.333

That was so good. I do both those jobs. That's incredible.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

245.18

I didn't know your kind had those.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

249.383

You just shoved that up my butt and now you're going to serve it to your family? Duh.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

256.427

If your crude ass celebrated my reason for the season, you'd get nothing but coal. Since you don't, I got you a little something for Hanukkah.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

294.825

You've been putting it off. Look, B, I still really want to go through training together, but I can't wait any longer. I'm manifesting getting my wings in the new year. This was hate mail, not a present. I know you don't believe in signs, but I printed out my application until it came out. See? Everything happens for a reason.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

318.151

He's my pastor, but he is deeply intuitive.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

322.593

I'm just saying that clearly a higher power is guiding me to be your light. Follow me. Let me help you.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

340.422

Ow! Someone had to check your ego. Did it have to be to Missouri? Everyone needs help sometimes, Bernie. When are you going to get a grasp of that?

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

362.841

Bernie, I'm not covering for you.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

376.491

I don't speak Jewish. Not a language.

Table Read

The Jew Who Saved Christmas - Act 1

654.61

Bernie, you look gorgeous. Dressing up as someone special or you still single?