Daniel Pink

Yeah. There's ample research showing that disclosing our regrets helps us make sense of them. What's more is that when we're skittish about disclosing our regrets or negative things about ourselves, we're skittish in part because we think that people will like us less. When in fact the preponderance of evidence says people like us more for doing that.

Yeah. There's ample research showing that disclosing our regrets helps us make sense of them. What's more is that when we're skittish about disclosing our regrets or negative things about ourselves, we're skittish in part because we think that people will like us less. When in fact the preponderance of evidence says people like us more for doing that.

Yeah. There's ample research showing that disclosing our regrets helps us make sense of them. What's more is that when we're skittish about disclosing our regrets or negative things about ourselves, we're skittish in part because we think that people will like us less. When in fact the preponderance of evidence says people like us more for doing that.

So you want to reframe it and you want to disclose it. But the most important thing is not to stay mired in it, but to draw a lesson from it. So the lesson from say not asking somebody out on a date is next time I have a chance to speak up, I have a chance to take a risk, whether it's at a meeting at work, whether it is maybe starting a side hustle along with my regular job.

So you want to reframe it and you want to disclose it. But the most important thing is not to stay mired in it, but to draw a lesson from it. So the lesson from say not asking somebody out on a date is next time I have a chance to speak up, I have a chance to take a risk, whether it's at a meeting at work, whether it is maybe starting a side hustle along with my regular job.

So you want to reframe it and you want to disclose it. But the most important thing is not to stay mired in it, but to draw a lesson from it. So the lesson from say not asking somebody out on a date is next time I have a chance to speak up, I have a chance to take a risk, whether it's at a meeting at work, whether it is maybe starting a side hustle along with my regular job.

or whether I'm back on the dating market and I see someone I'm interested in, then actually using that lesson to apply next time. And when people act, they are less likely to regret it than when people don't act. And this comes up again and again in the research. Regrets of inaction easily outnumber regrets of action, particularly as people get older.

or whether I'm back on the dating market and I see someone I'm interested in, then actually using that lesson to apply next time. And when people act, they are less likely to regret it than when people don't act. And this comes up again and again in the research. Regrets of inaction easily outnumber regrets of action, particularly as people get older.

or whether I'm back on the dating market and I see someone I'm interested in, then actually using that lesson to apply next time. And when people act, they are less likely to regret it than when people don't act. And this comes up again and again in the research. Regrets of inaction easily outnumber regrets of action, particularly as people get older.

They want to avoid it. Here's the thing. Regret hurts and it's instructive, but you can't have one without the other. And so what happens is when people try to avoid regret because it hurts, regret stinks. All right. Regret is not fun. It's an awful feeling. It makes our stomach churn.

They want to avoid it. Here's the thing. Regret hurts and it's instructive, but you can't have one without the other. And so what happens is when people try to avoid regret because it hurts, regret stinks. All right. Regret is not fun. It's an awful feeling. It makes our stomach churn.

They want to avoid it. Here's the thing. Regret hurts and it's instructive, but you can't have one without the other. And so what happens is when people try to avoid regret because it hurts, regret stinks. All right. Regret is not fun. It's an awful feeling. It makes our stomach churn.

But the reason it makes our stomach churn is because it instructs and clarifies us about how to make subsequent decisions. But you're not going to get that instruction unless you get a little bit of that pain. The question is how do you deal with that pain? And so by denying the pain, by sort of brushing it away, you lose all of the instruction.

But the reason it makes our stomach churn is because it instructs and clarifies us about how to make subsequent decisions. But you're not going to get that instruction unless you get a little bit of that pain. The question is how do you deal with that pain? And so by denying the pain, by sort of brushing it away, you lose all of the instruction.

But the reason it makes our stomach churn is because it instructs and clarifies us about how to make subsequent decisions. But you're not going to get that instruction unless you get a little bit of that pain. The question is how do you deal with that pain? And so by denying the pain, by sort of brushing it away, you lose all of the instruction.

which are regrets about having a relationship that was intact or should have been intact that ends up drifting apart. And people want to reach out, but they feel awkward about reaching out. They think it's not going to be well received. And so they drift further apart. So one of the huge regrets that people have are these connection regrets with family and friends and colleagues.

which are regrets about having a relationship that was intact or should have been intact that ends up drifting apart. And people want to reach out, but they feel awkward about reaching out. They think it's not going to be well received. And so they drift further apart. So one of the huge regrets that people have are these connection regrets with family and friends and colleagues.

which are regrets about having a relationship that was intact or should have been intact that ends up drifting apart. And people want to reach out, but they feel awkward about reaching out. They think it's not going to be well received. And so they drift further apart. So one of the huge regrets that people have are these connection regrets with family and friends and colleagues.

that say, if only I'd reached out. And to me, one of the big lessons from this research on regret is that if you're at a juncture in your life and you're wondering, should I reach out or should I not reach out? You've answered the question. To me personally, the big takeaway from this huge amount of research is that one should always reach out. What's a foundation regret?

that say, if only I'd reached out. And to me, one of the big lessons from this research on regret is that if you're at a juncture in your life and you're wondering, should I reach out or should I not reach out? You've answered the question. To me personally, the big takeaway from this huge amount of research is that one should always reach out. What's a foundation regret?