Colin

Not how he goes.

Yes.

Cuspa is the word for dandruff.

In Spanish. Really?

That's why Casper was named Casper.

Pass that 10, playboy. One of our favorite traditions is hearing Bobby chewing on the mic. Jingle jangle. Fun mix of favorite candy treats.

And what's he doing there? It's his dad. He's making up.

Oh, interesting.

How is that not appropriate?

Don't open them all at once.

No, he said it was priceless.

It's a $500 million one. Yeah.

Which is what I've always wanted.

Don't go Keiko on us.

God bless. Can we end with a Christmas song? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Merry Christmas. This is my gift to you guys.

Does it have white people in it?

I mean, it's ridiculous that I'm even being looked at.

But, uh... Probably around the last time we seen her, it was around 6.37.

I had to change my number because she would call it from like 6.30 in the morning to like midnight at night. Just call, hang up, call, hang up, call, hang up.

They want to find out who the murderer is. I want to prove to them that it ain't me.

We thought we were dating, you know.

Once everybody started telling me that she did have a boyfriend on and stuff, John Adams, and I left her alone. When was the last time you've been with her?

No, Colin.

No.

Do you think that frog in there was just... I'm high as fuck right now.

Yeah.

and i stuck it in a closet and i forgot it existed and then i got another one like a couple months later i was like oh no i never changed the filter and i got went and got one and then when i got home i was like oh wait fuck and i found the other one in the closet so now we have a spare

Wake up!

My car, I was in a shopping mall, and I was unstable off my bipolar disorder medication. I broke into my own car. My car was towed to the tow facility. The tow facility auctioned it off because I was in jail. When the police came, I got scared and I ran. I was in jail for about 83 days. And while I was in jail, the tow company sold the car for $21,000. It was worth $41,000.

I shouldn't have bought the car to begin with. They shouldn't have sold the car to begin with at Honda Acura. And they ended up selling the car at the tow company in an auction and then got about $21,000 for it. And there's a balance of $20,945. And then Honda Acura sold the debt to a creditor. And I was just wondering if I should pay the creditor.

There's a repossession on the record already, so I'm not sure what to do. Wow.

Yeah, I bought the car, and I guess it doesn't matter if I say it or not. I was unstable when I bought the car. They said I was a truck driver or something like that when I was an Uber driver to get the loan. I signed off the car, and I was unstable. Sold me the car for $41,000. Couldn't afford a $900 a month payment.

I'm not sure.

Yeah, they just sent me a letter saying I could settle for $8,300. There you go. Do you have any money? I don't have any money until November. I have a settlement check coming in for $5,700 in November. I could probably settle with them then. Okay. So I should do that?

For the first time in my life, I'm not working now. I'm six months out of work. I went off my psychiatric drugs right before I sold my condo four years ago, and I came in at $72,000 and went through four years of hell until I finally realized in the last three weeks I'm fresh out of the hospital two weeks ago. So you're out of the hospital two weeks ago now?

Yeah, I'm back on the meds now. I take lithium and one other drug, but I just, it's, I'm a little shaky right now, a little shaky, but I'm stable. So working through things, but yeah, at 14 years old, I started a vending company, had that for 10 years and then worked in pizza delivery for about another 10 years or so. Um, so it's, it's been a rough ride.

I, I, um, I believe I saw Jesus Christ in the hospital in Tampa after, um, I was going 45, 55 miles an hour. Um, uh, I fell asleep at the wheel. I prayed to God, uh, in Jesus name to stop my car in the middle of track. I've done nothing. No, I just prayed to him to help me. And I was going 45, 55 miles an hour in Sarasota. He stopped my car in the middle of traffic.

I had cars in front of me, cars beside of me. He had a scratch on my body, you know, wherever I deployed.

We've seen a lot on camera. I've seen people getting head. I've seen, I've seen it all.

But we had a direct incident with one of our guards. And what rank was he? He was a no striper. No stripe. He was a no stripe. He was a baggy pant, dicky wearing guy like me. Good guy, though. But he was messing around with a girl from Cinnabon. He was. Yeah. So the girl from Cinnabon, we were watching her go from Cinnabon to the parking lot to her car. Okay. But she was walking with a guy.

They start doing their thing. Uh-oh. Was it a Honda Accord? It was a Nissan Altima.

Yeah. Altima.

This kid was all over the fucking place.

What would you say is the most fucked up you've ever worked for an album?

I remember that. We were in New Zealand when he told me that. He thought that they were putting a hit out on us. Yeah.

Look, at one point, I was starting to get really impatient with it because I was tired of explaining that this insane theory wasn't actually happening. I thought he had my phone tapped. This was one time he quit Suicide Boys on Twitter. I don't know if you remember that.

At the time, he had just bought a condo in Bradenton, Florida, outside of Sarasota. And I can't get in touch with him. Kyle can't get in touch with him. And we decide, let's go out there. Let's just press him. Let's be in person. So long story short, we fly down there, rent a car, drive to his apartment. And he doesn't expect us. He doesn't know we're coming.

We go upstairs, and I knock on the door. And he's like, one second. I think to myself, like, man, I just flew out here. Fuck that. I'm not waiting a second. I was like, bro, I'm here. What's up? Like, what's the problem? And he was like, give me a second. He had to go to the bathroom, do his little thing, catch my drift. And then we came outside. He was ready to talk. And this long story to say.

I was trying to like see, I was like, is he fucking with me? Is he lying to me? Is he thinking I'm, does he think I'm stupid? Or does he actually believe this shit? And is he fucking crazy? So I had to sit him down and I was like, bro, this Southwest thing, do you think that the board, like the people on the board of Southwest sit in a boardroom? Southwest Airlines.

southwest airlines and they they discuss how we're gonna assassinate scrim from suicide boys and he looked at me dead in the eyes the most serious look on his face and he goes yes and i lost my mind bro i took my phone and i threw it on the i was trying to hit the grass but i hit the sidewalk the fucker sparked yeah

To speak on the other side of things, I'm thinking, what is coming out of his mouth? Is it real or not? Come to find out, the story of his brother stealing a song and selling it is true. And I'm sitting there, and I feel bad because I've been calling him a liar in my head and all this shit, and then I find out it's true. So then I'm like, all right, so is all of this true?

I still refuse to believe that the Board of Southwest is meeting to discuss his assassination, but... I had my brother and my family.

No one's going to know.

Yeah, he's doing great. Like, I've done a great job. I mean, how would you approach that? I was a kid. Your wife is allergic to the fucking, you know what I mean, cat. And I'm your kid. Be real. Don't do comedy. Don't do comedy right now. I would probably get a shake. I'm your son. Okay. Hey, Dan. No, no, you don't have to.

Wait, wait, wait. You don't have to have an Asian accent. Okay, I don't know what country we're in.

I don't know where you're going to have an Asian accent.

No, we're in America. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to be that specific?

You live in Nashville. Okay. Your wife is white.

Yeah. I'm not Asian. All right. Make believe that I'm your biological son. Okay. Right. Yeah. Hey daddy.

Can I say something to you?

I'm not the president of Asians. I seem to think that you seem to think that I'm their leader. Like every month there's a gathering, right? And I get all this information from people. Yeah. Right. And then I go out to the world. I'm their spokesperson or something. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

No. Did you? Did you really? Cocaine addiction.

Well, sniffing that cocaine all over town, honey, don't let my deal go down. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. It was meant for horses, not for men. Doctor said he'd kill you, but he didn't know when. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me. Drink corn liquor, let the cocaine be. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me.

Drink corn liquor, let the cocaine be. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

I'm walking up the fields, going down Maine Trying to find a nickel for to buy cocaine Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be It'll burn out your nose, your eyes turn red The goddamn cocaine will kill you dead Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me, drink corn liquor, let the cocaine be. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's killed my friends, it's gonna kill me too. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. Hey, some of you people, you think you're tough. Sniffing that cocaine just like snuff. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. Well, tell it to me, tell it to me. Durain, corn, liquor, let the cocaine be. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be. Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me.

$800?

Well, yeah, that's what I felt like. When I say I know them, I was probably a kid, and there was people that worked around where I live, and I think they did crack. That was a rumor. Wow. But I don't really know what crack does.

Damn.