Co-host/Guest
Appearances
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Social media is like comparison on steroids. It's not just about seeing those vacation photos. It's about those perfectly curated lives, the career milestones, those effortless successes. Oh, yeah. And every time we see those posts, you know, our brain gets a hit of dopamine that feel good chemical.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know. Isn't that crazy?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It is. It's totally messed up. It's like this dopamine loop that keeps us hooked on scrolling and comparing even when it leaves us feeling inadequate. But the good news is we can totally break free from that cycle and even use those envy triggers to our advantage.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
okay i'm intrigued how do we do that okay so i call it the let them power move okay it's this two-part framework that helps you reframe envy and use it as fuel for your own personal growth and the first part is all about detachment you literally say to yourself let them have their wins let them post those perfect vacation photos
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, exactly. It's about like taking your power back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And not letting those external comparisons dictate how you feel about your own life. And then once you've detached from that need to compete or compare, you can move on to the second part of the framework, which is let me.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
OK, this is where you turn envy into a roadmap for personal growth instead of dwelling on what others have you shift your focus to what you want to achieve. And one of the most effective tools for this is the comparison journal, a comparison journal.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, it might seem counterintuitive, but trust me on this one. OK, so here's how it works. Let's say you're you're scrolling through Instagram. And you see a friend who just launched their own business and you feel that familiar twinge of envy. Instead of letting that feeling fester, you grab your comparison journal and you write down what specifically you envy about their situation.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. You're getting specific about the trigger. And then the real magic happens. You ask yourself, what does this envy reveal about my unmet goals and aspirations? Maybe it's a desire for more autonomy in your work, a yearning to be your own boss, or a need for a creative outlet.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I love this topic.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Now comes the action part. You take those insights about your unmet needs and turn them into concrete steps. So if you crave more autonomy, maybe you start researching freelance opportunities. If you desire a creative outlet, maybe you enroll in that painting class you've always been curious about.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the essence of the let me part of the framework. It's about shifting your focus from what others are doing to what you can do to design a life that truly aligns with your values and aspirations.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It sounds so counterintuitive, right? We're always told to stop comparing ourselves. Right. But like, what if those feelings are actually clues about what we want and aspire to?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
See you in a sec.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's definitely easier to stay in that comfort zone of comparison, but it's not a very fulfilling place to be. The Comparison Journal is such a powerful tool because it encourages you to get honest with yourself, to face those desires you might have been pushing down and to start taking action towards them.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. It's about shifting your perspective from they have it and I don't to what can I learn from their journey and how can I apply it to my own life?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And, you know, one of the most inspiring things I've witnessed is how people have used this approach to create real change in their lives. Like we had one listener who was constantly comparing her fitness journey to a friend who seemed to effortlessly crush her workouts. And she was feeling so demotivated. But then she decided to try the Let Them Power Move and the Comparison Journal.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
She wrote down her envy triggers, identified her desire for consistent workout routine, and then... She actually started waking up at 5 a.m.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Wow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That is commitment.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's amazing what happens when we channel that envy into action, right? Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah. It's so easy to get taught up in that I could never do that. But this approach really flips the script. It's like, what can I learn from their approach and how can I adapt it to fit my own life and goals?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Oh, I've definitely been there. It's so easy to spiral into self-doubt and think, why didn't I get that promotion? What's wrong with me?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
OK, so I'm choosing to focus on celebrating their win rather than dwelling on my perceived loss. Exactly. And then you turn your attention inward. Let me focus on my own career path. You grab your comparison journal and explore, you know, what this envy is revealing about your own aspirations.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Maybe it's a desire for more leadership opportunities, a need to develop new skills or a yearning for greater recognition.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Perfect. You've identified the trigger. Now ask yourself, what does this envy tell me about my own career goals? Maybe you realize you've been yearning for more responsibility or that you've been neglecting to develop certain skills that would make you a stronger candidate for leadership roles.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You got it. It's about transforming that envy into fuel for your own career growth. And it's not just limited to work, you know.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We'll be right back.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Let's say you're feeling envious of a friend's seemingly perfect relationship.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah, absolutely. And like, it's no surprise we feel this way, right? Our brains are literally wired to make comparisons. It's a primal survival mechanism. So think about our ancestors, right? For them, comparing themselves to others was crucial for survival. They needed to assess their social standing, their resources, their potential mates.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
I know.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It's so easy to fall into that trap of thinking, why doesn't my relationship look like that? But remember, what you see on social media is just a snapshot, a carefully curated highlight reel.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. So instead of getting caught in that comparison game, you can use the let them power move to shift your focus. OK. You start by saying let them have their happy relationship. I'm sending them good vibes. And then turn your attention inward with let me focus on nurturing and deepening my own connection with my partner.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Maybe it's about having, you know, more open and honest communication, prioritizing quality time together or simply expressing more appreciation for your partner.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's the essence of it. It's about recognizing that comparison itself isn't the problem. It's what we do with those feelings that matters. By understanding the neuroscience behind envy, we can start to see it as valuable data, a guidepost pointing us towards what we truly desire.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And the best part is that as you practice this approach, you'll find that those feelings of envy start to lose their power over you. When you're focused on your own journey and taking steps towards your own goals, you're less likely to get caught in that endless cycle of comparing yourself to others.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
That's a powerful shift in perspective. It's about reclaiming the power of comparison and using it to your advantage. So for our listeners who are ready to ditch the self-doubt and embrace the power of comparison as their greatest teacher, what's the first step?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. Ask yourself, you know, what is this envy trying to tell me? What desire or longing is it revealing? And then you grab your comparison journal and start exploring those insights.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Totally. So first, remember, there's no right or wrong way to journal. It's your own personal space. So just start by simply jotting down the envy trigger. Like what sparked that feeling? Was it a social media post, a conversation, an observation? And then delve into how it made you feel. Don't censor yourself. Just let it flow.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And the part of the brain responsible for this is the amygdala, which is constantly standing our environment and comparing us to those around us.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And once you've acknowledged those feelings, then you can start to explore the why behind them.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
You know, what unmet need or aspiration is this envy pointing to? What does it reveal about what you truly value and desire in your life?
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Exactly. And the final step is, you know, brainstorm some actionable steps. Like, what can you do today, this week, this month to move towards those desires? Maybe it's signing up for a course, having a difficult conversation or simply carving out more time for those activities that bring you joy.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yeah.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Yes, that's the goal. And remember, you don't have to do this alone. We've created a free comparison journal template that you can download on our website, themessypodcast.com.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
It includes some prompts and exercises to guide you through the process.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
We're so passionate about providing you guys with the tools and resources you need to support your growth and wellbeing. And, you know, we're so grateful for your support. It allows us to continue creating this content.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
And remember, progress isn't linear. You know, there will be days when you feel those pangs of envy creeping back in. But with practice, you'll become more adept at, you know, recognizing those triggers, exploring the insights and channeling that energy into positive action.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Thanks for joining us for another deep dive on The Messy Podcast. We can't wait to connect with you again next week.
The Let Them Theory | The Messy Podcast
S2 EP3 | Comparison as Your Greatest Teacher | The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
Sounds good.
The Ramsey Show
Your Debt Should Make You Uncomfortable
That was the same Santa I think that visits our house too. It doesn't wrap. That's a good idea.
The Ramsey Show
Your Debt Should Make You Uncomfortable
Okay, I was like, I don't think so. Do you? Listen. I think that's kind of tacky. There's a difference between. To ask for your wedding guest to pay?
The Ramsey Show
Your Debt Should Make You Uncomfortable
two crisp hundred dollar bills and a card and then you get to decide and then you decide what you do like don't put don't put cash app like that is so not it a qr code hey i don't know maybe we're just like am i just like a gen xer is that what the problem is
The Ramsey Show
Your Debt Should Make You Uncomfortable
We'll blame Gen Z. I feel like we do too often. Too often.