Clark Fredericks

Yeah. There's something driving me, though. You know, just uncomfortable. Yeah. anxious, depressed, panic attack, we got to solve that immediately. We got to get those feelings out of here. We are not going to let ourselves feel uncomfortable. I'm at the point now where one drug alone isn't enough to take away my shit.

Yeah. There's something driving me, though. You know, just uncomfortable. Yeah. anxious, depressed, panic attack, we got to solve that immediately. We got to get those feelings out of here. We are not going to let ourselves feel uncomfortable. I'm at the point now where one drug alone isn't enough to take away my shit.

No, rock bottom's coming up.

No, rock bottom's coming up.

Rock bottoms when I run into my abuser. It'd been at least 10 years since I've seen him. And take me through that day. I'm in a quick check deli. I don't know if you have quick checks around here, but I'm in a quick check getting a coffee and the door opens up and I just instinctively look up and it's my... And he sees me. He's like, hey, Clark, like yells out in the store.

Rock bottoms when I run into my abuser. It'd been at least 10 years since I've seen him. And take me through that day. I'm in a quick check deli. I don't know if you have quick checks around here, but I'm in a quick check getting a coffee and the door opens up and I just instinctively look up and it's my... And he sees me. He's like, hey, Clark, like yells out in the store.

And like, this guy's going to start making his way over to me to hug me, pat me on the back, whatever. And I just go into a panic attack, you know, like my mind's swirling, you know, my heart's racing. I'm sweaty. I can't breathe. Like my vision's like getting funny. And All of a sudden I hear a young boy say his nickname that he used to make me say to him when I was younger.

And like, this guy's going to start making his way over to me to hug me, pat me on the back, whatever. And I just go into a panic attack, you know, like my mind's swirling, you know, my heart's racing. I'm sweaty. I can't breathe. Like my vision's like getting funny. And All of a sudden I hear a young boy say his nickname that he used to make me say to him when I was younger.

And I see that boy's about the age he hit me at. And that was it. Like everything just like ripped open and I ran out of there. We shoulder bumped. I ran past him. We hit shoulders. He's like, hey, where are you going? And I got in my truck and I sped out of there and I pounded my steering wheel and I'm cursing and I'm spitting in my truck, yelling motherfucker over and over.

And I see that boy's about the age he hit me at. And that was it. Like everything just like ripped open and I ran out of there. We shoulder bumped. I ran past him. We hit shoulders. He's like, hey, where are you going? And I got in my truck and I sped out of there and I pounded my steering wheel and I'm cursing and I'm spitting in my truck, yelling motherfucker over and over.

And that was just like everything unraveled after that. Going to work when I was depressed felt like climbing Mount Everest. And with a month after seeing... seeing him, I couldn't climb Mount Everest anymore. And I just left the family business with my brother, just walked away. Um, buying, buying grams of Coke no longer worked anymore. I'm buying ounces of Coke.

And that was just like everything unraveled after that. Going to work when I was depressed felt like climbing Mount Everest. And with a month after seeing... seeing him, I couldn't climb Mount Everest anymore. And I just left the family business with my brother, just walked away. Um, buying, buying grams of Coke no longer worked anymore. I'm buying ounces of Coke.

Um,

Um,

And I got Dennis Pegg on the forefront of my mind. And all I can think every day is that he's still abusing boys 30 years later. Still abusing boys 30 years later. And that just like haunted in me. And I spiraled downward for months and got to the point where I had to go confront him. And went to his house one night. I hadn't been back to that house since he, me.

And I got Dennis Pegg on the forefront of my mind. And all I can think every day is that he's still abusing boys 30 years later. Still abusing boys 30 years later. And that just like haunted in me. And I spiraled downward for months and got to the point where I had to go confront him. And went to his house one night. I hadn't been back to that house since he, me.

Yeah. Yeah. He lived, he lived three minutes away from me, you know. I didn't know if he still lived there. And I assumed. So he had a long driveway, parked halfway down his driveway, ran up the driveway. His front door was open. His screen door was shut. There he is sitting there watching TV.

Yeah. Yeah. He lived, he lived three minutes away from me, you know. I didn't know if he still lived there. And I assumed. So he had a long driveway, parked halfway down his driveway, ran up the driveway. His front door was open. His screen door was shut. There he is sitting there watching TV.

Yeah. I knew he was a gun nut. I took a knife with me. You can say whatever reason for taking the knife. Here's a guy who's been children for 40 years. He is the firearms instructor. Every cop, everybody in law enforcement, every year has to get recertified with a firearm. He's the firearm instructor for two counties, Morris County and Sussex. This guy had 36 guns in his house.

Yeah. I knew he was a gun nut. I took a knife with me. You can say whatever reason for taking the knife. Here's a guy who's been children for 40 years. He is the firearms instructor. Every cop, everybody in law enforcement, every year has to get recertified with a firearm. He's the firearm instructor for two counties, Morris County and Sussex. This guy had 36 guns in his house.