Clark Fredericks

And then it morphed into drinking in high school. Alcohol became easy to get. Back then they had paper licenses. When I was a freshman, my brother in the drinking age was 18. My brother tossed me his expired paper license with his date of birth. And nobody even looked at that it was expired. I was able to get served wherever. Yeah.

And then it morphed into drinking in high school. Alcohol became easy to get. Back then they had paper licenses. When I was a freshman, my brother in the drinking age was 18. My brother tossed me his expired paper license with his date of birth. And nobody even looked at that it was expired. I was able to get served wherever. Yeah.

Um, yeah, but my anger isn't showing in those years, you know, like the rage is building, you know, like the anger is building. It's, it's, you know, it's like a snowball just starting off down the hill. Um, this pain doesn't diminish as the years go on. It, it grows and my rage grew as years went on.

Um, yeah, but my anger isn't showing in those years, you know, like the rage is building, you know, like the anger is building. It's, it's, you know, it's like a snowball just starting off down the hill. Um, this pain doesn't diminish as the years go on. It, it grows and my rage grew as years went on.

And, and, and, you know, you think you can just bury it, but it's, it's going to come out in destructive ways. And, uh, you know, my life just, you know, should have been filled with so much promise. And I just like squandered everything and, just sabotaged everything, every romantic relationship. So the high school years were a drunken blur.

And, and, and, you know, you think you can just bury it, but it's, it's going to come out in destructive ways. And, uh, you know, my life just, you know, should have been filled with so much promise. And I just like squandered everything and, just sabotaged everything, every romantic relationship. So the high school years were a drunken blur.

Sports, I played basketball two years, quit the other year, got injured the other year, just gave up on sports.

Sports, I played basketball two years, quit the other year, got injured the other year, just gave up on sports.

Yeah, yeah, just like not being able to apply myself, just not having that internal fortitude to want to study, to want to excel at sports, just.

Yeah, yeah, just like not being able to apply myself, just not having that internal fortitude to want to study, to want to excel at sports, just.

Oh, God, yeah. I mean, just, it was exhausting just living that dual life of having, you know, like, can't let mom see me at school. Like, you know, being goth, wearing goth clothes and, you know, having a frown on my face and, you know, looking all down and out. Got to be, you know... You know, Mr. Cheerful, you know, don't want my teachers to know, you know, that something's amiss with me.

Oh, God, yeah. I mean, just, it was exhausting just living that dual life of having, you know, like, can't let mom see me at school. Like, you know, being goth, wearing goth clothes and, you know, having a frown on my face and, you know, looking all down and out. Got to be, you know... You know, Mr. Cheerful, you know, don't want my teachers to know, you know, that something's amiss with me.

Got to keep that smile cranked on, you know, same for my classmates, you know, and it's exhausting when you feel the complete opposite inside and you got to live that lie. Yeah.

Got to keep that smile cranked on, you know, same for my classmates, you know, and it's exhausting when you feel the complete opposite inside and you got to live that lie. Yeah.

It was draining, man. It was exhausting. You know, like my whole life is, you know, I tell everybody I lived the most exhausting life. Just... become hyper vigilant like later on in life like it my life became pedal to the metal like there was no mindfulness and meditation and sitting calmly and deep breathing and uh yoga you know Fuck no, bro.

It was draining, man. It was exhausting. You know, like my whole life is, you know, I tell everybody I lived the most exhausting life. Just... become hyper vigilant like later on in life like it my life became pedal to the metal like there was no mindfulness and meditation and sitting calmly and deep breathing and uh yoga you know Fuck no, bro.

It was like, we got to outrun this pain and we're going to go full steam ahead and we're going to ride this wave until it crashes. And, you know, let's see what happens.

It was like, we got to outrun this pain and we're going to go full steam ahead and we're going to ride this wave until it crashes. And, you know, let's see what happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.