Clark Fredericks

You step out of line and you incur God's wrath, you know, during his sermons. And like, what the F could I have done to incur God's wrath for this to have happened to me? Fuck that.

You step out of line and you incur God's wrath, you know, during his sermons. And like, what the F could I have done to incur God's wrath for this to have happened to me? Fuck that.

Yeah. And like, like, you know. I didn't learn a lot later on that we have free will and free will you can use for good or for evil. It's not like God was allowing this to happen. We want God to be the superhero who's going to save the train from going off the tracks or the boat from capsizing or the Boy Scout from getting...

Yeah. And like, like, you know. I didn't learn a lot later on that we have free will and free will you can use for good or for evil. It's not like God was allowing this to happen. We want God to be the superhero who's going to save the train from going off the tracks or the boat from capsizing or the Boy Scout from getting...

If God is doing all those things, the plane from crashing, what's the sense of life? We're just puppets then. Right. Our free will is violated. And God is in the sky controlling everything. But at the time, that's what it felt like. Yeah, of course. It didn't seem like free will. Nobody had ever taught me about free will. It just seemed like God had let me down and- Done with it.

If God is doing all those things, the plane from crashing, what's the sense of life? We're just puppets then. Right. Our free will is violated. And God is in the sky controlling everything. But at the time, that's what it felt like. Yeah, of course. It didn't seem like free will. Nobody had ever taught me about free will. It just seemed like God had let me down and- Done with it.

Yeah, school. I realized I was a smart kid and could do absolutely zero and get passing grades. And that's what I did. I did. I let my guard down one time, whether it was seventh or eighth grade. In an English class, we had to write a... The teacher gave every student a letter in the alphabet.

Yeah, school. I realized I was a smart kid and could do absolutely zero and get passing grades. And that's what I did. I did. I let my guard down one time, whether it was seventh or eighth grade. In an English class, we had to write a... The teacher gave every student a letter in the alphabet.

And you had to write a one-page short story using that letter that you got assigned to start words, as many words as you possibly can. I got assigned the letter S. And I still have that essay. And I wrote about being a slave on a ship. where the shipmaster is a gay guy who's trying to come into my bunk at night to molest me, and I'm beating him with a metal pipe at night.

And you had to write a one-page short story using that letter that you got assigned to start words, as many words as you possibly can. I got assigned the letter S. And I still have that essay. And I wrote about being a slave on a ship. where the shipmaster is a gay guy who's trying to come into my bunk at night to molest me, and I'm beating him with a metal pipe at night.

And I got this whole one-page scenario of this going on, and the teacher gives me an A and writes, good job, use more paragraphs next time. Just like it's perfectly fine for a 12-, 13-year-old to be writing about a gay guy who's trying to get into his bed at night and beating him with a pipe.

And I got this whole one-page scenario of this going on, and the teacher gives me an A and writes, good job, use more paragraphs next time. Just like it's perfectly fine for a 12-, 13-year-old to be writing about a gay guy who's trying to get into his bed at night and beating him with a pipe.

No, no, no. And then after that, I was a clam. That was it. Were you trying to get... I can't recall. I had forgotten about that essay. And when I got arrested, my mother found it. She went through my childhood stuff. And she's like, oh my God, how did I never see this? How did nobody bring this to my attention? She gave it to my lawyer. And then my lawyer made a copy for me to read.

No, no, no. And then after that, I was a clam. That was it. Were you trying to get... I can't recall. I had forgotten about that essay. And when I got arrested, my mother found it. She went through my childhood stuff. And she's like, oh my God, how did I never see this? How did nobody bring this to my attention? She gave it to my lawyer. And then my lawyer made a copy for me to read.

And I was like... I'm like, I vaguely remember writing that, you know, just broken and my pain and trauma, poor anatomy, you know? And then as far as your relationships with friends. Yeah, I was, and you know, this is what a lot of us do, you know, like I just put on a false face. You know, we have two faces, you know, the one we show the world, the one behind closed doors.

And I was like... I'm like, I vaguely remember writing that, you know, just broken and my pain and trauma, poor anatomy, you know? And then as far as your relationships with friends. Yeah, I was, and you know, this is what a lot of us do, you know, like I just put on a false face. You know, we have two faces, you know, the one we show the world, the one behind closed doors.

The one I showed the world was just like positive, happy, go lucky Clark, you know, Mr. Friendly, sociable. My mother worked in the school. She was in the library. You know, maybe this teacher thought, you know, like Joan would obviously know if something was going on. This is just Clark with a wild imagination, you know? And... So the teachers, you know, liked me.

The one I showed the world was just like positive, happy, go lucky Clark, you know, Mr. Friendly, sociable. My mother worked in the school. She was in the library. You know, maybe this teacher thought, you know, like Joan would obviously know if something was going on. This is just Clark with a wild imagination, you know? And... So the teachers, you know, liked me.

I was real popular with friends and, you know, my classmates.

I was real popular with friends and, you know, my classmates.