Chester

Oh, perfect. Oh, great. A nice big scoop of yogurt. Lauren couldn't wait 45 seconds before eating.

Let me introduce you to a new phenomenon that I've been working on called the... Oh, Lauren's already taking the headphones off, so there could be crazy... I'm still in the room. Could be crazy noises happening.

That's concerning.

That's what my mom thought it was going to be.

Oh, glad we got to the bottom of that. Thanks, Lauren.

Okay.

Oh, yeah, that was my highlight as well.

That was my idea.

It's almost like the only thing we like about you are the effects.

Wait, we should put it.

There's like a cloud of rain.

What have you been Googling, Lauren? It's not my computer.

He's three slots more famous than Chris Jenner and Bill Gates.

You guys don't have lunch after this. I'm sorry.

He is good. All right, well, Will's gone.

And Will and I are going to tell you about the hottest toys of 2020 of this Christmas season.

Nice. Yeah. You're going to need it with all those paint jobs.

That, oh, Lauren's doing fun lip gloss. Every time I look over, it's like a new thing. Every time we look over, you look a new thing. How did you even get that out that quickly?

She has one headphone in and is doing her makeup.

No, I don't think you understand. I'm not calling you up for not listening. I'm aware that you could listen while you're doing it.

My house. Twins.

What are you talking about?

It just feels... What do you want?

There's a million things going on over there.

What a little sneaker.

Actually, I would love to see. Everyone comment how much money you have saved.

Three shoes, one for each foot.

And so, like, I was in the mailroom. I was in there before her. Like, I didn't, like, run in and, like, ah! Like, I was in the mailroom. She walked in. I was just, like, looking through the mail, and she goes, ah! And jumped. And I was like, whoa, what's up? She was like, oh, my God, you scared me.

I don't remember. This was like a week ago. And then it happened again yesterday. I was in the, I was in the elevator standing, could not have been standing more still. She walked into an elevator that she called. Like it wasn't like the elevator like sprung up on her. She walked into the elevator that she called that there are always people in.

My balls are stuck to my leg.

I did not like that for some reason. The thought of any of us getting turned on is really foul. I feel like we only see each other in this capacity. I could never picture either of you guys turned on.

And when I walked into the, I had the exact same like jump scare. Yeah.

He's like, pretend to be asleep.

Yeah, and I remember I was done doing whatever I needed to do on the board, but I had to face there for a second and act like I was still thinking about it so that it could get to 40%.

That's awesome. You had the best stuff.

You had the best stuff.

Did I ever tell you when I went on a walk with a girl one time and I was so worried about getting a boner on it that I wore two pairs of spandex?

That's why I was so worried about getting soft.

We have one.

It's just one barrel from the top to the bottom. And residents describe it. So, by the way, if you lived on, like, one of the top floors and you dropped your trash, it would reach terminal velocity by the time it hits the bottom. And people in the building describe it as, like, bombs going off. I mean, that probably happens every day, right?

Can we just watch the beginning again? I'm sorry.

How is my event?

Are we doing this?

What's our first phone call? Pause it. Why is the first step just his name? Step one. My name is Ariel. He's like bringing himself back down to earth. He's good. All right. Come on. One more time.

Where is the rabbi?

I'm going to do the same haircut, see? And a gentleman's cut. Also, is he cutting the same guy's hair every time? It's, like, different versions of the same guy.

One more time. Let me watch that. Let me get eyes on that again.

yeah for god oh wait we actually have a fireball what do we say about boners on the pod I forgot that we have a fireball that's goes to the football season that's true we should get we should put the put Jesus we should put Lauren's face on the cake but like distort it and make her look like insane please for what the cake oh yeah like a huge hat yeah all right should we do am I the asshole yeah let's do it all right these are I have asshole these are Christmas

Are we ready?

Uncle Ryan's telling stories. I guess they don't really, like, my parents don't really drink.

Well, I know Delirium. Is it called Delirium? Oh, no, no.

You're going to start doing construction?

All right, go quick. I got the scoop it. Oh. You can scoop anything that you want. You can scoop dirt, sand, mud, crud, mulch. Yes. Pretty much anything. If you can dream it, you can scoop it.

I love that. I had something kind of similar called the really hot wheels.

And I'm going to be sneaking into kids' houses through their chimneys and eating all their cookies and kiss their mommies.

He's like the bad boy, right?

New segments, ideas, jokes.