Brynne
Appearances
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
There has been points in my life where I've gone four plus years without getting my hair done. So...
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
When I was in eighth grade, I cut all my hair off. As you know, Emma, I will send you a picture. You can put it up here if you would like.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
After I chopped my hair off, I did not touch my hair until my senior year of high school. Eighth grade to senior year of high school.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Yeah, but I had Tressa Mae hairspray and maybe a detangler or something.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Do, wop, she do. Everybody, everybody, yeah. Do, wop, she do. Yeah, clap, everybody.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
and then now i'm doing the you you take care of your extra eyebrow hairs going on yeah yeah you shave like you're well i help you shave your neck yeah yeah and i got the people think i wear the hat because i got a receding hairline take it off strip i don't know i might have had hair but i have helmet hair okay wow hair reveal look at that hairline but i've had hair gorgeous but i've had hair where do i look
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
It's okay. It's okay. You know what's crazy? We're talking about like your hygiene and your hair specifically. Yeah. I would not know. Hold on. I would not know if you have back hair.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Okay, all right. So you shit your pants. This man literally looks at me and he goes, Brynn, Brynn, I just shit my pants. So we pull off to find an In-N-Out. We were trying to find a gas station.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
We were literally driving for like 10 minutes with you just sitting with poop in your pants. It wasn't that bad. It was like 10 minutes of us trying to find a bathroom for you. And then you go into an In-N-Out.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
He had to throw away one of my favorite pair of shorts because I shit my pants on them and they were white. And that was like a year and a half ago.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I think it was while we were initially talking. Like, before we started dating.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Ew. I had to leave really early in the morning to come here to see you because we had something to do at 9 a.m. So I had to leave at like 4 a.m. I was driving. I was doing great. I had probably an hour and a half left. I had drank a lot of energy drinks, which often makes me have to poop. I was on like a stretch of land. There's no bathrooms. There's no bathrooms.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And I get that burn, like that burning, burning, burn, burn, burn in my stomach where I was like, I have to poop now. Like now, now, now, now, now. And you look at the Apple Maps app. on my little Apple CarPlay. It's just straight. There's nothing around it.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And it got to a point where I was like, this has to happen now. I was like jumping up and down in the driver's seat. I had to wait to round a corner so I wasn't going to get hit by a semi. And then I pull over. I jump out of the car and like run down into a ditch and just diarrhea. All over a bush. And I had paper towels in my car, thank God.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And then when I got to your apartment, I went and cleaned myself up in the bathroom. You knew about it. You were at work and I called you and I literally said I just pooped on the side of the road. And now anytime we drive between California and Vegas.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
That's my poop spot. Yeah. Because it's right around. There's a certain bend. We do long distance. It's kind of my Zizzix road. We did long distance.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
From February until July. So February, March, April, May, June, July. Five months.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Yeah, but I think we kind of let that ship sail when we announced that we were dating three days into our relationship.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And then we announced that we were dating Valentine's Day last year. So four days after we made it official.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
damn okay yeah damn okay i know okay you do you do i know every time no you know what's crazy is i know what date we stopped talking january 21st and we started talking again february 1st we could just move right by that i know we can just fly right through that we'll save that for another episode we'll save that for another oh my god have you read through our initial dms back and forth to each other we should do an episode where we just
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
It's bad. Yeah, we don't have to do that right now. No, it's bad. I don't want to do this right now. I DM'd you first. January 2nd. You replied January 4th. I was correct.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You always say that. And you're like, oh, like you should look at me without girlfriend goggles and dah, dah, dah. And I'm like, I did.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Mario, I have seen you while I wasn't your girlfriend. That's why I started talking to you.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
But hold on. Do you not have boyfriend goggles towards me? You were watching me. We, first of all, just talked about me pooping on the side of the road. Second of all, disgusting. Second of all, you watched me sit on the counter and pick a booger with a Q-tip out of my nose this morning.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Like you would leave me over that? No. Is that what a red flag is? A red flag is like something that makes you want to leave a person. Yeah. Like it's like an ick. Not even an ick. It's a red flag. Like it's a warning sign.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I know. We're not trying to be a Tupperware Tupperware. We're not trying to just recreate that.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
When you check out with your groceries, they ask you if you would like a beg.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I said, I believe. I understand why people are attracted to him. I get that he is generally accepted as attractive. I get that. I can appreciate that. Mm-hmm. But, like, he's not for me.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
They have one of the largest pouches of bird in the world. What is the largest pouch?
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Wait, if you had to guess, don't look, don't look. If you had to guess, how many gallons of water and fish can the pouch hold?
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
No, tell me how many gallons of water and fish you think the pouch can hold.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I was sitting on you on the couch, and I remember being like, is there a six-month anniversary? And you were like, yeah. And then it was like an hour later, and you were like, is six months like, does that mean something to you?
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#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I have told you plenty of times, I know you're on your fitness journey right now and I love that for you, I'm so excited for you to get in shape. I know you're really excited also.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I'm very excited for you to be on your fitness journey. I think that it's great to be healthy and to look out for yourself. I want to spend a long, healthy life with you.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Because, like, okay, first of all, at my current weight, this is my own insecurities. We touched on them earlier. I feel like I would smush you. I feel like I would get on top, and you would just flatten. It would be like a Wile E. Coyote cartoon when he, like, runs into a wall, and he just goes... That would be you.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
No, hold on, because we're going to wrap this up soon. But while you're talking about the changes I go through in my life, can we talk about you accidentally seeing me taking out a tampon at your sister's house?
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
But I was peeing and then I was like, oh, I need to change my tampon. And then I told him to look away and he thought that he looked away for long enough and he didn't. And I took it out and he looked down at just the right time, just the perfect time to see everything. And then you said, I love you. You said it in such a panic, too.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You were just like, I love you and I appreciate everything you go through.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
No, I mean, like there's the argument that we know we haven't had an argument. We've had a conversation about it. But like we both agree that we would like to be healthy so that we can live long, happy lives together.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
We've been a little unhealthy in the past year. Just door dashing and watching movies and sitting on the couch.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And now we have the podcast. Yes. Which we should probably wrap up.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
We're excited to have a lot more conversations and conversations. introduce a lot more segments and have things like a little more well-rounded. But for now, I feel good.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You know what I mean? And I didn't make it more clear that it was a big deal to me.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Do you want me to talk about it? No, I got it. We the people, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility. Provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty, do ourselves in our posterity, to ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Honestly, fights where we're like genuinely both upset with each other.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
See, thankfully my parents got divorced early, so I didn't have to see that through my older life.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Well, but yeah, we're relating it to our relationship, which I think in a way is what this podcast is about. Yeah. Or like it's going to be a big forefront thing.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Well, yeah. And like, if you honestly, if you, if you break down also like the fights that we've had, they're not over anything big. And they're resolved.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
It's miscommunications between the two of us over a small thing. And then it's us kind of being frustrated with each other and then taking a little bit of time to figure out how to properly talk about it. And then we talk about it. And then we talk about it a lot more. And then we talk about it a little bit more. And then we're done.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
One, two, three, four. It doesn't show on this. It shows on that. And then we transfer to this.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
We could be in a little bi relationship. Oh, my God. Wait, okay.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
No, because I was thinking about this when I was blow drying my hair today. In my adult.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Yeah, we need to set the bar for how this podcast is going to go.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I've used them before. Okay, so when I was blow-drying my hair today, the lotion that I put on my money.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I didn't know what that button was. So my favorite lotion to use when I have a special event is the Fenty. Fenty. That smells like the Fenty perfume. Anyway, I was obsessed with that perfume when I was dating my ex-girlfriend. Okay. I stopped.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Yes. Okay. Because I could smell it as I was blow drying my hair.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
But I gave the perfume to my roommate because I didn't want to smell like it anymore. Anyway, I was thinking about the perfume. And then I was like, oh, yeah, my last relationship was with a girl. And then I was like, oh, so out of all my relationships that I've had in my adult life, like since I've graduated high school, I thought back on them and they have gone girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Anyone who says that they're bisexual, that's automatic validation. Correct. Correct.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
If I say that I'm bisexual, even though I've never been with a woman, I'm still valid in saying that I'm a bisexual and identifying as a bisexual. Oh, yeah, of course. Why didn't you say that the first time? You can know that without being with the same gender.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And I'm not saying that I need to validate myself, but I'm just saying that's kind of like the most bisexual you can get is alternating gender relationships.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
And all of a sudden, it's the shudderiest breath you've ever taken in your entire life.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I feel like I've said this many times, that bisexuality is the sexuality that makes the most sense to me. Obviously, I am bisexual, so I'm fucking biased, but duh.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You're looking me in the eyes, and you're telling me you would give me up for a man? No. Yeah, that's what I thought.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I have helped, weirdly, a lot of people come out. But the question I always ask, because it's always girls, and they're always like, hey, I did some stuff with my friend and I really liked it. Like, am I bisexual? And I always tell them, like, my one question to know if they are bi or not is, like, do you want to do things to them? Do you want to...
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
be the oh yeah yeah see i'm not bisexual see and i think that's a good question that's a good question well because obviously like especially for girls like beauty is very easy to appreciate amongst women maybe i just really appreciate feeling loved and getting that kind of attention like body attention like that can feel good coming from
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
anyone yeah yeah but like do you want to do that to the same gender uh and then there's your answer i'm tracking it looks so good thank you i i did my makeup okay that's enough you look real good i'm sorry you look good thank you i did my makeup and i felt really good about it and then the second we like actually started to film i was like is this too much
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
I don't want to be like overly confident bitch. I know there's a way to be a good person and be confident. And I feel like sometimes I exude that. But like I feel like honestly with my personality, if I was super confident with myself, I would be a bitch. Be a nightmare.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
Really excited. I know we're both really excited. This has been a long time coming.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You only got out to fill the truck up with gas. You didn't go in. I went in. I was the man. I wore the pants. I went and got you an energy drink.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
You came out of the closet and then just immediately got canceled. That's going to be the headline. It's going to be. Mario comes out of the closet and gets canceled.
Pretty Funny
#1: Sh*tting Our Pants
a month two months a month on monday oh 13 months on monday 13 months we passed our one year mark so we don't have to celebrate the monthly things anymore because that's stupid well the 13 month is mario day i know but when we started dating and you're like mario it's our two months okay two months no the one what does that even i will say i honestly was a little bummed on our six month anniversary
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Welcome to Pretty Funny!
Welcome to the very first episode of the Pretty Funny Podcast. I'm pretty. And I'm funny. Thanks for having us. Oh, sorry. I cut you off already. Jesus Christ. I'm so scared. Welcome to the very first. Marius.
Pretty Funny
Welcome to Pretty Funny!
Do it. Welcome to the very first episode of the Pretty Funny Podcast. I'm pretty.