Bruce Vilanch
Appearances
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
What do you think about this? You know, everybody hates our new set. We just painted it blue. What do you think?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I mean, it's kind of like... I think it was hard for Vanessa because she was a serious musical theater actress, dancer, singer, and she wasn't a pageant girl. So then after the Miss America thing, when she would go into auditions, she said it was difficult for her to get taken seriously because these casting agents immediately placed her attached to the scandal. Great, beautiful singing.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
We loved your monologue. we don't know if we can put you in this. And that was probably heartbreaking for her because I don't think she cared about.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
But also for Vanessa, everyone who was remotely racist who followed pageants was waiting for her to make any mistake. Well, that's true.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
She accidentally ended up being responsible for the perception of... You know, it's like Wanda Sykes hosted the White House Correspondents' Dinner the first year that Obama was president.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That was like you watching Sally Jesse. You were like, this bitch in the red glasses better not ruin this. That's right. Get in contact. Your IMDB and your Wikipedia, I mean, it was, you really have just done every single thing with everything. But I have to tell you, I went on your Twitter. Have you been on your Twitter for a while?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I'm going to tell you that your first post was in July 2011, and your last post was in November 2011.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You lasted about five months on Twitter.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And like your first tweet, I believe, was, my Hyundai Elantra has a blind spot. And I was like, I guess he didn't get the automotive help he wanted, and he left.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh my God, yeah, people could really like Andy Warhol you. They could go to a red carpet event and be like, hello, it's me.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
In Los Angeles? People are like, I'm not meeting up unless, like, the bone collector level, like, violence and, like, kink that has to occur for someone to get in their car and come over. Whatever happened to just little, let's just kiss and touch it and go home. Right, yeah. But now it's like, oh, well, I'm obviously going to have to urinate on you and then I'm going to punch you in the face.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, I also, okay. And we're back. That was our break. That was a perfect segue for our sponsor.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
No, no, no. It's perfectly allowed. Because I would think, I mean, what's pod, what a podcast for. Right. Our sponsors today are not aligned with the words, but given by Bruce Blanche, LLC. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Can I ask you to, I mean, you're, you were a child model.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, you're kind of like, you know, when we have Katya, she's worn wigs like your hair in her career, so it kind of feels like we have her wig today. She's worn a Bruce wig.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That could be merch. That could be amazing merch.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
They can't. They'd be dead. I have to ask. I know you're probably, I know you said people my age ask about it, but I watched all that Brady content on YouTube during COVID because I'm obsessed with the Brady Bunch. I was a Brady Bunch watcher. When I was little, they had Brady Bunch on and the summer they'd have marathons. It's the only thing my brother could agree on.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
So we'd sit and watch marathons. I've watched all the holiday movies. What was it like working with the goddamn Brady's?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, that show's wild, bro.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Do people go as you for Halloween? Do what? Do people go as you for Halloween?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Is this the one with the fake Jan? Wasn't there a fake Jan?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Eventually you got fake Jan or you started with fake Jan?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Right, right.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Were you in the fake Jan auditions?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Shut up!
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, I've seen a bunch of the episodes. I watched them all on YouTube. They're available on YouTube.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, I believe, isn't the first episode about how the dad isn't sure that he can do it? Yes.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
The way it was shot, too, it was like a proscenium with a huge swimming pool in front of it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
doing you know doing breaststrokes and but weren't there's these moments for like okay there's you know there's the brady singing and then there's the girls jumping in the water and then the weird thing was they would talk to the camera like we're doing a show but they would still pretend they were a family
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It was like a show within a show. It would be like, what are we going to do? We haven't prepared enough. It was very like, we didn't know we were doing the show today. Well, no kind of.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I hate to jump around, but we have so much to cover. Go for it. I texted Kathy Griffin. I was like, I know you know Bruce. I was like, what should I talk to him about? And she said, well, you got to ask about the squares. Well, yeah, she was on The Squares. I knew she was on Squares with you. Is that where you maybe met her for the first time?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, my God.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
crazy trumper and you know yeah i mean i still love her but what other kind is there uh exactly exactly there you go that's why i can still still stand can i guess like a logistic thing so the way hollywood squares is like i mean we have a maybe a lot of young uh viewers who maybe have never seen it it's set up like a grid it's a tic-tac-toe board yeah and so you guys really couldn't i mean could you couldn't see each other under no we couldn't see each other once we were in our squares uh-huh uh but you know we there were monitors
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I was just, we're so psychic.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
yeah you have an enemy now that's right jane krakowski sorry can i ask um if you if i get to do it and you don't i will wear like a bruce wig and glasses in honorarium well okay did you think you would win in a bruce um lookalike contest uh you know they just had the timothy a famous story about carol channing going to an impersonator contest in san francisco and losing
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I think I saw that on your Twitter, too.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Shut the fuck up.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You got to go see the girls. You got to go see the Dolly, the permanent Dolly understudy. There are, what? I mean, this actress. Is this an act? No, this actress who's playing her is kind of like the permanent new Dolly in this show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Suspend disbelief, if you will.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Megan Hilty played her in 9 to 5. I got to see her at the Hollywood Bowl once and I just like.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
She kind of has a way of touching on it without touching on it.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Like, instead of saying, like, I love the gays, she might say something like, I think everyone deserves the right to love who they love. You know, like she has a way of saying it without ever being too... Yeah, exactly.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, I said the same thing and look at me now. See what happened? One time when I started the bullshit, this amazing, like, I don't know, it was kind of a joke, but the wind was blowing because, you know, the globe, not the globe, the... The bowl's outside. And this wig hair was blowing in her face and she grabbed it and pulled it and she went, ow. Wow.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I was listening to you talk and I was like, it's Sally Jessie. It really is. And so it's like crazy that you brought that up because I was like, it is kind of Sally Jessie. It's Sally Jessie if she shaved. It's also a little bit Ghostbusters. What do you want? Remember her in Ghostbusters? She has like fun glasses. No, actually. Remember their receptionist in Ghostbusters?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I think it's so funny to pull a wig hair out and say, ow. Do you have any memories of doing Drag Race? You've done it like three times.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, you've done drag before you did hairspray, didn't you?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Do you like touring like that?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, like a character actress. Very pretty, though. A cute character actress, yes. Do you think that character actress means unattractive? Generally.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
It's like a gay guy, like a body switching. Didn't you write a movie about somebody who's like a Freaky Friday situation?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Maybe I'm starting to add things to your career that didn't happen.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I mean, I know I got to let you go, but I don't know if the kids at home know that you obviously have all these Emmys from writing all these awards programs. Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Honestly, that is it. If we're in comics and you're in the audience, they go... That's funny. That's funny. They won't clap. They'll go, that's funny. That's funny. Yeah. I'm assuming that Tony's goes the smoothest because it's a bunch of people who are everyday live performers.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I find it's interesting when like, I mean, the people who play for camera, the people who play characters, they get up there and they, this maybe is the first time we see some of these people speak from the heart or like not as a character.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You can tell they get nervous when they're not. Oh yeah.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Well, Bruce, thank you enough for coming down here and talking to me. It was great. Can you let the girls know where to find you? Maybe not your Twitter. It's not exactly active.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I do think it can be probably kind of difficult for women to do comedy when, well, when they're excessively gorgeous. I feel like, don't you feel like entertainment loves like, you have to be like either like the hot slut and everything?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
They really get you at the end there.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Oh, really? I didn't notice. Remember when she's like in her prostitute outfit and she's in like that little... She did have a bob. Is this a bob? I didn't even know. It's just a blob is what I think. Well, I watched your documentary in preparation for this. By the way, to do homework about Bruce Valange is only opening like a Pandora's box of how much there is to know.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
I was like, I felt like I was preparing for that LSAT. I was like,
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You have a new book. Tell us what the book is.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Don't you feel like that's almost like a safe sex PSA? Nobody can get an STI on the phone.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You know, I remember hearing that Lady Bunny would sometimes pay like a church lady, a church lady, someone to dress up like a church lady and pick at her show.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
You guys, we're in the studio today. Oh my gosh. Obviously we have Bruce Valanche here. Clap, clap, clap. Oh, thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
My God, yeah. And I wrote for him, her, them. I think she says you can call me he or she or Kathie Lee as long as you call me. But I think Ru's approach to whatever you call her in drag is very inclusive. I don't think you can really offend RuPaul. I don't think you can offend RuPaul.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
Yeah, can I ask, I mean, I didn't find this in my research, but when did you meet RuPaul? Do you remember when that was?
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
That's one person clapping, but that's 100% of the people in the room. But a ferocious clapper. A ferocious clapper. Big time. Today we have with us legendary comedy writer, comedy... Today we have with us legendary comedy writer, actor, singer. He's won Emmys for writing for the Academy Awards and was a judge on Drag Race. It is Bruce Valanche. Hello. Thank you.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
And that's also like with the Vanessa Williams of the world, who I think you also know too, right? I know Vanessa, yeah. I met Vanessa when she was Miss America. Oh my gosh. You know, I did a couple seasons of a show with her, so I knew that she knew you, and I texted her about it, but I think she's in the UK right now, so the time zone. Yeah, she's doing Devil Wears Prada, the musical.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
But I know that you knew her, and one time she told me her whole story. We were at dinner, and I was fortunate enough for her to tell me, basically. I was with... I forget who I was with, but someone asked, someone had the audacity to ask like, how did that all happen? And I was like, oh my God, I get to hear firsthand like how that all happened. And it's wild what happened to her.
The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Bruce Vilanch's New Hyundai Has a Blind Spot with Trixie
So unfair, so crazy.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ich denke, ich denke. Aber wenn du weiß und schmutzig bist, machen dir die roten Gläser wirklich dein Gesicht. Nein, nein, sie funktionieren für dich.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Sie machte viele Vorteile. Ja, wir sehen alle Broadway-Schläge. Mein Vater hat Geld in Musiker. Er liebt Musiker. Into Broadway Musicals as an investment? As an investment. He was the tired businessman who loved to go and watch the clowns, Zero Mostel and Phil Silvers and Burt Lahr and people like that. And I, of course, that's where I got it. Looking at all of them. You got to see all those guys.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah, I got to see them all live on Broadway and I thought, this is what I want to do. Where does Groucho factor in? Anywhere? Well, Groucho was on television. Right. So he was... He seemed like a... Because we were... The Marx Brothers movies, that was earlier. But with You Bet Your Life, right? He was on You Bet Your Life. And he was so quick? So quick. I mean, hysterical.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Did you ever meet that guy? Yeah, I met him later in life. Yeah. When he was slower. And he was with Erin Fleming, who earned every dime. Yeah. The woman who he wound up with, who sued the estate, whatever. But he was... Er war sauer, als ich ihn kennengelernt habe. Er war nicht so wie Groucho, der Flick-Cigar und so. Ja, ja, ja. Sauer, weil er alt war? Ich denke so, alt und was auch immer.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Entschädigende Relevanz? Ja, und was auch immer passiert ist, was er haben wollte. Ich weiß nicht genau, was das war.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Fucking Groucho Marx. Exactly. And he had Dick Cavett at his feet. Yeah, he could do Dick Cavett all the time. But I guess, you know, when they ran the carnival, they don't want to be suddenly relegated to the sideshow. Sure. Right. So when do you start working as... In Showbusiness. I was a child actor. I was never a child star. We'd be having this conversation in rehab.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I did a lot of summer stock. I went to a camp that was run by Ted Mack, who was the Simon Cowell of his day. It was Ted Mack's original amateur hour. Was that in Jersey? It was New York. He had inherited it from a guy named Major Bowes, who did a radio show. Okay. And it was, he brought amateurs on. He's famous for rejecting Elvis because Elvis was too dirty.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And, uh, Anne Margaret, who I worked with for years as a friend, uh, was on the show and she lost to a woman who played Lady of Spain on a leaf. Well, there you go. That used to be a thing. And, uh, Aber er war ein großer Deal, Ted Mack. Es war ein großer Fernsehshow. Und er fuhr in diesem Camp, weil er keine Kinder hatte und er wollte, dass Kinder um ihn herumliegen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und es war wie die Ehre in den Berkshires. Und ich war ein Kindsaktor und er hat uns ausgemacht. Wir haben Veranstaltungen gemacht, wir haben Summerstock gemacht.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Okay. So you had another agent. Right, exactly. But, you know, I never really made a living at it, but my parents enabled it because they saw I was happy when I was doing it. So they said, let him go perform. Their only concern was that I couldn't make a living. They kept saying, you need something to fall back on. Und ich habe angefangen, für den High School Newspaper zu schreiben.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und das hat gut funktioniert. Und sie meinte, oh, das ist großartig, du könntest für einen Newspaper arbeiten, denn Newspaper werden nie sterben. Ja, nie. Oh nein. Kreskin ist weg und so sind die Newspaper. Es hat lange gedauert. Es hat lange gedauert. So you studied journalism? So I studied journalism and theater at the Ohio State University. Ohio State. Yes. Okay. Buckeyes. Yeah.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
How was that for you? I loved it. It was great. It was a five year, you know, everybody was in a stay out of Vietnam program. You know, it was not, I'm 77 years old and I'm here to tell you that, you know, Bill Clinton got away. They all found a way. Dan Quayle found a way. George Bush found a way. Yeah. Nobody wanted to go. Nobody wanted to go. And that's a whole other show.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So I was there for five years and got two degrees in theater and journalism. What was that, like 68 through 70? I was there 65 to 70. In fact, my graduation in 70 was cancelled because we tried to burn down the ROTC building. I didn't, because I was the editor of the school paper, The Lantern. You were there with a pad. I was there, exactly right, being fair and balanced.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So that's why the graduation was cancelled. It was cancelled, and Walter Cronkite got a kill fee. And when I got to meet him later on in life, I told him, he said, yeah, I was hoping there'd be more riots that spring.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah, I was acting there and I was writing a column for the paper before I was the editor. That was that.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
That's right. When it was really free thinking. We always, there was a humor magazine called The Sundial. Yeah. I was on the lantern, I couldn't be on the sundial, they were arch enemies. But the sundial was edited by a guy we call Jovial Bob, Jovial Bob Stein, who became R.L. Stein of Goosebumps. What was that? Goosebumps is a children's series of books that have become movies.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And he's like phenomenally rich from this thing. Obviously I took the wrong path. He seemed to do alright. He had a girlfriend named Springfield Rifle. Her real name was Phyllis Rifle. So it was that time. The tone of the thing. So the hippie thing was happening. The hippie thing was, yes. We were coming out of beatnik and into hippie. Yeah, so that was the transition, 65. Yeah, right.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
When Dylan went acoustic. Sure. When Dylan went electric, I mean. So by the time you graduate and come back to New York, it's a different city. Actually, I went right to Chicago. I got a job on the Chicago Tribune of all places. Okay. Which was a really conservative newspaper, but they liked my style. I used to say I was the first person in the history of the Tribune to ask Yom Kippur off.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And they had to look it up. So I felt I had made my mark. But I was there. You liked Chicago? I loved it.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yes, I lived next door to Second City in a place called Piper's Alley, which was like a hippie mini mall. And Second City was there and the Belushi Brothers and the Murray Brothers. Sure. And John Candy. They were all kids. Ja, wir waren alle gleich alt. War Del Close da? Del war Direktor. Ja, in der 2. Stadt. In der 2. Stadt.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Er hatte auch einige Side-Hustles. Und er war wie die Brücke zwischen den Kompass-Spielern, die Nichols und May waren. Shelly Berman. Shelly Berman und all diese Leute. Aber sie waren in Hyde Park. Eine ältere Generation. Wir waren in der alten Stadt. Right, so it was a generational difference. It was, and Dell was kind of the bridge, because he had come from that and was directing these new kids.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Did you get involved with it? I wanted to, but the paper wouldn't let me. They said, you have to choose, and I thought, I'm staying with the paper. I was happy doing what I was doing at the paper. But you'd go down there and watch? I would go next door all the time to see the thing. I just didn't trust myself, I guess, because I had morphed out of child acting because I wasn't childlike.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I looked 40 and I had a deep voice and I was heavy and I was always auditioning opposite people who were authentically those things. I was a kid. So I didn't trust myself as an actor. So I was happy to be on the paper covering. And I would do commercials and I started doing a routine every night at a club called Punchinello's where I'd go on like at 11 o'clock and do the news of the day.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It was like a piano bar and people who were in shows in Chicago would Yeah. Yeah. Und du hattest gute Lachen? Okay.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Tom Dreesen and Tim Reed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tim and Tom.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, one of the kids of the original owners did a documentary, which I'm in. Oh, that's okay, yeah. Which is all about, called Live at Mr. Kelly's. And he's kind of been promoting the legend, the lore.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I agree. I think there was a certain kind of sophistication that Hugh Hefner marketed. He came out of Chicago. He was a marketer in Chicago. Playboy was a marketing ploy. And it... There were people who were actually living that life. Of course, everybody then tried to emulate that. But it was a lot smarter when you were actually in the middle of it. But it did come out of all of that.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
But that whole nightclub scene has gone away.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It was smaller and more exciting. I mean, you could go into it clinically. I mean, multinationals came in and bought the big studios and the television networks. But then cable came in and then Die Internet kam und Apps und das Universum wurde gigantisch. Und die Realität, die Fernsehsendung. Ja, aber dann... Die Stars aus Menschen, die... Die Fähigkeit für... Auf eine Date.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Or even how to get it on your phone. If they draw 3 million people to a show, they consider it a hit. Yeah, and back in the day, what was it, like 25 million? Yeah, I mean, 17 minimum. To stay on the air, you had to get like... See, that's a big difference. If you could get a third, a 33, then you were like a boffo. Over 30 was a boffo smash.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
But in order to stay on, you had to get, I think it was at least 17, a rating of 17, which is... Ich weiß nicht, wie viele Leute das repräsentiert.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Nein, ich bin nach Chicago gekommen, aus Columbus, Ohio. Wo hast du Bette getroffen? Ich habe Bette in Chicago getroffen. Sie war auf dem Broadway und machte Fiddler auf dem Ruf. Sie ging auf die Straße zur Impro, und Bud Friedman machte die Impro. In New York? In New York. Am 44. Ah, genau. Und neben Dyke Lumber. Das war der End der unabhängigen Lachen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
und sie bringt ihr Dijklumber und es war so eine Art Ära. Und sie würde aufstehen und sie war die einzige Sängerin. Sie würde aufstehen und singen und manchmal würde sie etwas sagen. Und er hat mich angerufen und gesagt, ich habe ihr ein Booking bei Kellys bekommen. Wer nannte dich Bud? Ich kannte Bud, weil er Freddy Prinz repräsentierte.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und ich wusste, dass Freddy nach Chicago gekommen ist und ich ihn gesehen habe. Er hat für Jonah Jones geöffnet, der Jazzmusiker, und dieser Publikum interessierte sich nicht für Freddy Prinz überhaupt. Was denkst du davon? I thought he was wonderful. He was a Hungarian Puerto Rican. He was a Hungarian. And I thought his viewpoint was brilliant and fresh. And I wrote about him.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And it was like the only good review he got, I think. And Bud called me and said, listen, if you like Freddie, you're going to love this girl. And that was before Freddie went to L.A. probably. Das war vor Freddy, gerade bevor er nach L.A. ging. Und ich werde dir die Geschichte erzählen. Er bombte Kelly. Ja. Und dann ging er nach L.A. und er hat Chico und den Mann fast sofort.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und dann hat Mitzi ihn mitgenommen. Und ein Jahr später war er ein großer Star. Ja. Und er kam zurück zu Kelly als Headliner. Ja. Fuck you, that was the fuck you tour. And he went out, did the same exact act, word for word, he had done the year before, and they screamed and cheered, because they had come to see the star of Chico and the man who they already loved.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And he came back, and the first thing he said to me when he came off stage was, you're the only one who knows what I did. Warum nicht? Ich liebte ihn von da an. Sein Tod war so tragisch. Er war natürlich ein Dämon. Die Dämonen werden dich bekommen. Bud hat mich gefragt, um zu schauen. Und Bette hat für Jackie Vernon geöffnet. I love Jackie Vernon. He's wonderful.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
When I was a kid, I was unwanted. Now I'm wanted in 13 states. Das ist ein guter Job. And she took stuff that was throw away, like Do You Wanna Dance, which was a little boppy jitterbug. Do you, do you, do you, do you wanna dance? And she turned it into this erotic song of longing. And of course, you know that she wasn't talking about dancing. Sure. When she asked, do you wanna dance, baby?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah, yeah. Und ich dachte, das ist unglaublich, weil sie all diese Dinge genommen hat. Ich meine, sie war der Chef der ganzen Nostalgie, die die Andrews-Sisters-Nummern genommen hat. Ja. Die waren wundervoll, aber sie waren als Zaubermusik. War das Teil der Manhattan-Transfer-Truppe? Ja. Ja, genau. Ich habe Fred Silverman gesehen und sie auf Telefon gesetzt. Und das ist, wie du nach L.A.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So all the stuff was local jokes, you know, about Mayor Daley and stuff happening in Chicago that week. And it became kind of a hallmark. I started writing for her whenever she would tour. I would go out with her. I was a television critic at that point. And I would call the other TV critics who I'd met on Junkets. And I'd say, what's happening in Cincinnati that we can make fun of?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And so she'd come in armed with this local material. And the audience would kind of go... How does she know that? Because this was not, we were not living in the internet. Exactly right. You had to get local news guys to tell you what was up. Exactly right. So that became one of the things that she became famous for.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And a lot of people heard and they began calling me and asking me to work for them. So I was writing for a whole bunch of people by the time I came out here for the Transition.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, yeah, but when she first had her hairdresser, Bill Hennessy, who was Mr. Gerard at the Bergdorfs, and he wrote for her, and then I started writing for her, and Sie sagte, Bud Friedman sagte mir, äh, äh, einen Tag, er sagte, du weißt, wenn sie kam und, äh, wenn sie begann, du weißt, sie konnte, äh, nur, nur ihr Haardresser schrieb für sie.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Now, was that the extent of your relationship with Bud? No, we were friendly for years. I mean, he moved out here and opened the club and I would go out there now and again and we recorded a comedy album called Mud Will Be Flung Tonight that Beth did. Yeah. in the early 80s. How did that do? It did okay.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I mean, it's a funny album and Mark Shaman wrote some songs for it with Jerry Blatt, who was another long gone, unfortunately, collaborator. And it did fine. But, you know, this was, it was kind of a bookmark. Her husband, she'd just gotten married, her husband said, because no movies were happening. So he said, why don't you do what you do, what's great, do comedy.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So we did the comedy and at that point the Jews bought Disney and Michael Eisner kam mit Jeffrey Katzenberg rein und sie brachten ihn rein und sie haben einen Film zusammengebracht mit drei Leuten, die nicht verhaftet werden konnten. Richard Dreyfuss, Nick Nolte und Bette. Es war in Beverly Hills und es war ein großer Hit und plötzlich war sie wieder ein Filmstar. Musserski. Ja. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Großartiger Film. Musserski und Tucker. Ein sehr lustiger Film.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Nein, sie waren keine Sketch-Präsidenten. Sie waren Studio-Musiker, aber sie waren keine tollen Live-Präsidenten. Aber sie haben sich erkannt, dass sie dem Publikum alles geben mussten. Aber wir hatten kein Geld, also brachten wir einen Comic mit, den wir günstig bekommen konnten. Immer. Immer. Und wir haben nur vier Episoden davon gemacht. Wer waren die Comics? David Brenner. Klar.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Sie waren alle neu. Gabe Kaplan. Ja, klar. Steve Landisberg. Oh, ja. Und dann, der fünfte, wir mussten jemanden haben, dessen Name erkennbar war. Professor Erwin Corey. Also alle Juden. Alle Juden. Wir hatten immer Karl Ballantyne, aber das war eine extra spezielle Sache. Oh, ich erinnere mich an ihn. Und sie sagten, wie geht es mit anderen Musikaktionen?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und wir hatten kein Geld, also haben wir Bob Marley und die Whalers bekommen. Wow. Ich weiß, sie flogen in den Studio. Ich wette, sie haben es gemacht. Das muss sein. Sie haben die Scheiße aus dem Netzwerksensor geschockt. Es muss aber großartig gewesen sein. Es war, weil sie noch nie auf dem Telefon waren. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und die Ruhigkeit davon sollte nur erstaunlich gewesen sein, besonders im Vergleich zum Transfer. Ja, aber ich meine, es gibt dir eine Idee, was sie haben. Sie hatten den gleichen Art von Eklektizismus, den das hat. Ja, sie waren, sie machten Musik. Und in der Tat, wenn du dich auf den Transferkatalog schaust, ich würde dich befreien, um jeden Gruppen zu finden, der das gemacht hat.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Die Diversität der Musik. Sie hatten ein brasilianisches Album. Sie hatten ein Vocalese-Album.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Vier-Parte-Harmonie, natürlich. Das ist die Foundation. Aber sie waren unbefreundet. Sie haben als eine Art Nostalgie-Akt angefangen. And then they became a jazz act. And then they had a huge hit with a cover of Chanson d'Amour, which was a big song in the 50s that made them stars all over the world.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, no, I wrote. You just wrote it. I just wrote it with a producer. Joel Silver was one of the writers on the show. Believe it or not. And then I was out here, you know, I'd always said if I had an agent and a job, I would come out here. And I had both. So I came out and I started writing Variety Television. It was, of course, the last gasp of Variety Television because cable came in.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I know. But two things happened. One was that cable came in. Yeah. And you could, if you wanted to see a performer, you could see them 24-7. If you wanted to see Madonna, she was on 24-7. Right. But in addition to that, SNL came on. Right. And what they could get away with on Saturday nights at 11.30, 10.30 Central. Yeah. Es war so viel mehr, als man in 8 und 11 machen kann.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Weil alles plötzlich square aussah. Weil die Dinge, die hübsch waren... Auch in den 70ern. Die Burnett-Sketche, die hübschen und all diese Sachen. Aber es gab einen Versuch... Es war in der Farbe. Es wurde in die Farbe geworfen, weil es audatisch war.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
That's right, but that's the late 60s, right? Right, exactly.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
What are your first gigs? Well, those shows, the Variety TV series and shows got replaced by Awardshows, Tributes, Pageants. Which variety shows did you write for? Donna and Marie. How was that? I used to say it was like falling into a vat of stewardesses. But we don't use that term anymore. Everybody was just so nice. They were just nice. They were nice and they were devout Mormons.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Were they all Mormons? Were you surrounded by Mormons? No, they were surrounded by Jews. I mean, you know, Variety Television was engineered by Jews. Yeah. And so they had to put up with us, you know. I remember them being cute and able to do comedy, no? Oh yeah, they were adorable. The two of them were great. And they had timing and all of that kind of stuff. But, I mean, they were...
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Die Parameter waren sehr gering, denn sie waren Mormone und Marie war ein Kind. Sie war untergewachsen, als wir angefangen haben. Es gab also Dinge, die sie nur sagen oder tun konnten. Mehr als bei jedem anderen Show. Ich habe auch die Brady Bunch Variety Hour geschrieben. That seems wild.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
The onion layers are being peeled back. Yeah, over time. I mean, I... When I go on podcasts, they ask me about... They're all on YouTube, the Brady Bunch. And my other Star Wars Holiday Special, I wrote that. And the Paul Lindh Halloween Special. And they say, how did these happen? Kids ask me these things. And so I've written a book about how I wrote the worst TV shows in history.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It's called It Seemed Like a Bad Idea at the Time. It did. It's on pre-order at Amazon, dropping March 4th. There you go. So I had to plug it in. But the Brady Bunch Variety Hour gets... Ja. Aber sie waren, ich denke... Waren sie die schlechtesten TV-Schläge jemals? Oh, es ist auf der Liste. Oh, ja. Star Wars 1 war... Oh, ja. Die sind alle auf... Jeder ist in den Top 10 der schlechtesten.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Diese drei zeigen sich. Aber wenn du dorthin gehst, gehst du in Ernst, nicht wahr? Oh, absolut. Wir wussten nicht... It was Fred Silverman's idea and I believe he wanted the Partridge family, who were on their show an actual performing family. Weren't they about done by then? They were both kind of done. They shared an hour on Friday night together.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And Shirley Jones didn't want to do a variety series and David Cassidy, who was the breakout star, didn't want to do one. And so... Fred schlug sich auf den Brady-Bunch an, weil die Brady-Kinder einen Akt hatten, den sie in den Städten und so gemacht haben. Oh, sie machten das? Sie machten es gut genug. Ein Singen-Akt? Ja, ein Singen-Akt.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ich meine, sie waren nicht großartig, aber... Ja, sie waren der Brady-Bunch. Ja, aber als er Florence zu sagen hat, Florence Henderson, die Mutter, hatte vier Kinder geboren und sie wollte in L.A. bleiben. Aber sie war auch eine gewisse Qualität. Sie war ein realer Talent. Ein realer Talent, ein Broadway-Talent und ein Vegas-Star. Und sie konnte wirklich singen, tanzen und Skizzen machen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Robert Reed, der Vater, war ein seriöser Schauspieler, der, glaube ich, den Show genommen hat, weil er nicht die Karriere, die er wollte, hatte. Und das war ein schöner Payday. Und ich glaube nicht, dass jeder von ihnen dachte, dass der Show letzten Endes dauern würde. so lange, wie es zu Beginn war, oder dass es in die Eternität gehen würde.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Es hat schon sechs oder sieben verschiedene Iterationen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I know. Just play them. Exactly. The movies were almost like that. They were parody movies, but they were kind of written straight, but with a wink. What was Alice's story? She was a pretty good joke teller. And B. Davis was... She was a sidekick. She had a show with Robert Cummings, who was a big movie star, called Love That Bob. And she played Schultze, his sidekick, who was man-hungry and wacky.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So she had a... So she had that. And when Carol Burnett did Once Upon a Mattress on Broadway, when she left, Anne B. took over. Oh, okay. That makes sense. I mean, she could do it all. But then she became Alice the Maid, who... Didn't... It was kind of like... Wasted her talents. In some kind of a harness. She could come in, she could do one line, you know, pop her eyes and go out.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Er war extrem dunkle. Er war, wie ich sagte, er war sehr charmant auf einem Trink. Ja. Und dann auf zwei Trinken, er war der Nazi-High Command. Ja. Oh, yeah. You mucky lowlife. And of course I was gay. And so we bonded over that. I was the gay one he could come to with things. Like when Kiss was on the Halloween special. And he came to the rehearsal.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And Gene Simmons was in makeup and came over and went up to him and sucked his tongue out. And Paul Tremblay said, I wanna meet him. Yeah. So I said to Gene, Paul would like to meet you in his dressing room. And Gene said, it was the tongue, wasn't it? Yeah, he said, yeah, it gets him all the time.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
So you would get called and say, I need punch-up. Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, punch-up. And some of them would like, you know, Joan Rivers would say, I need 10 minutes on breast cancer or whatever. She didn't do that. So that was sort of a thing. Just from the experience of putting together these
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ja, das ist das, was man tun muss. Es ist eine Bedeutung. Ich liebe die Leute, die Schauspieler sind, die mit den Charakteren aufkommen und in diesen Stimmen schreiben, vor allem, wenn sie tatsächlich individuelle Stimmen für Charaktere finden. Das ist eine tolle Fähigkeit.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I was handed these people, and I always say that it's kind of like Bob Mackie would not put Cher in the same dress he would put Lizzo. I mean, these are two different body types. And although he has a certain style, he's obviously not going to give them the same kind of thing. So, that was what it was with this.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I mean, you have to, I used to say, you know, Shakespeare wrote the Comedy of Errors and Titus Andronicus. Sure. But he never, you know, they say, well, you're comparing yourself to Shakespeare. And I would say, he never had to do a two-spot for Donny and Marie.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, with Lily, it was all to character. Es gab einen Mann namens Rod Warren, der nicht mehr mit uns ist, der viel von Lillys Observationen geschrieben hat. Weißt du, Dinge wie, ich bin in den Store gegangen und ich habe einen Wastetipp gekauft und sie haben ihn in eine Papiermaschine gesetzt und ich habe sie nach Hause genommen und die Papiermaschine rausgebracht und in den Wastetipp gesetzt.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
which is a classic. And especially the way Lily delivers it, because you think it's going to go someplace else.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
That was her stage character, and then she would branch off into the characters. After Rod died, Jane Wagner, her wife, took over that, and also Jane wrote a bunch of the characters. I didn't create any characters, but I wrote for Ernestine, and I wrote for Edith Ann,
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Could you come in? And we did a lot of benefits, I have to say. Ernestine was like the queen of benefits. Especially like AIDS benefits, political fundraisers. Ernestine was the operator? The telephone operator. We laugh about, does that make any sense anymore? Because she used to dial The actual rotary dial with her finger. It was already a kind of nostalgic character.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah, there was something about that. And of course the phone company at the time was omnipotent. And now they broke them all up. And who uses them?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ich weiß, genau. Und jetzt ist es alles... Ich habe die Landlinie gehalten, weil in der Erwärmung alles... Die Kraft ging aus, alles ging, aber die Landlinie... Es hat sich irgendwie gehalten. Und das war 1992. Mit der großen... In der Nordsee.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Oh, Billy was, we did all these Oscar shows. And that's when he started, that's how you started the Oscar stuff? Yeah, no, the first Oscar show had no host. It was the notorious Snow White, Rob Lowe show. And that was a guy named Alan Carr producing it. When was that? That was 89. That was my first one as an actual writer. And I was the writer. We brought in Hildy Parks, who wrote the Tony shows.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Of course, it's a huge task for one person. But there was no host. Because they had had... Ich kann mich nicht erinnern, wie das funktioniert. War es nur eine Stimme von Gott?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ja, es gab ein paar. Es gab ein Auszeichnungsnummer. Und dann kam Lilly raus. Ich glaube, sie hat es zum Veröffentlichen genommen. Und dann kam Tom Selleck raus und hat die Leute gegrüßt und die erste Kategorie eingeführt.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Von Anfang an? Nahezu. Ihr Mann schrieb viel für ihr. Der erste Mann, den sie mitgebracht hat. Wir haben uns zu Beginn kennengelernt und ich habe dann ein paar Sachen geschrieben. Weil du die Versorgungssysteme verstehen konntest. Genau. Und dann wurde sie natürlich ein großer Star auf der TV-Serie. Es gab viele andere Leute, die die Show geschrieben haben, und sie waren mit ihr involviert.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und dann brachte sich das Verheirat und sie verabschiedete sich mit Tom Arnold. Und es ging weiter und weiter. Aber ich würde es immer noch tun. Sie würde viele, wiederum, Vorteile machen. Sie liebte es, Vorteile zu machen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und wer waren die Leute, die dich am meisten auf die Lachen gelegt haben? Wow, what a good question. I'm trying to remember, because it hasn't happened in so long. Robin, Robin Williams, we used to sit down in a room and just come up with stuff. Just when he was doing comedy shows. And Whoopi, and Billy and Bette. Harvey Weinstein made a movie about me 20 years ago, never laid a hand on me.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Hashtag, why not me? But it's called Get Bruce. You can Netflix and chill. And they're the four principles. But Nathan Lane, later on Shirley MacLaine, Paul Reiser a few times. What was Reiser looking for? Because he's kind of long form. Just a joke. Actually, he hosted the Emmys one year and I came in and did that with him. And I think he may have done the Golden Globes. I can't remember.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
What happens generally is they start out, nobody's interested in them, and they write all their own material. Yeah. And then they happen. Yeah. And once they happen, they get involved in what Joni Mitchell called the star-making machinery. And also it took them a decade to write that material. Right. And to generate new stuff, they don't have the time or... Oder die Inklusion, wirklich.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und das ist, wenn sie Kollaboratoren einbringen. Und es wird ein Ding. Es geht weiter. Auch Rodney. Ich habe für Rodney geschrieben. Jeder hat für Rodney geschrieben. Ja, ich weiß, genau. Das ist das Ding. Das ist einer der Gründe, warum er einen Comedy-Club hatte.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
That's true. Good bracket. Carson used to have 18 jokes he had to have. Für jeden Monolog. Ich dachte nicht, dass der Monolog so lang war. Es war länger, als du dich erinnerst.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Aber er hatte immer Savors. Er hatte immer Savors. Und er hatte Ed, der sagte, du bist korrekt, Sir. Und wenn alles fehlte, konnte er einen Gay-Joke über Doc machen. Über das, was Doc war. Doc war heute Abend spät. Er war in der Rückseite an Selma.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ja. In welchem Jahr? Es war später. Oh, was hast du für mich? Es war nachdem er ein Filmstar war. Ich vergesse es. Es war in den 80ern. Bevor er auf Medizin war? I think he was always on medicine. But toward the end, I think the last thing I did with him was one of the American Comedy Awards. I wrote all of those with George Slaughter and other guys. And he came in because he was getting an award.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And he came in and George wanted to show him the clip he was going to do and all of that. Yeah. So George had an office on Beverly Boulevard and had a parking lot in the back with a gate. And you had to ring the bell at the gate and rang the bell. And George's assistant called and said, I think this is Rodney because it's in like an old Cadillac. And so...
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Das ist ein Killer, das ist eine Schönheit. Yeah, I tell you, I like that one. But the thing I loved about Rodney was, my favorite thing about comedians is, the biggest laughs for me were not the jokes, it was just the attitude. He would come on, he would say, I'm alright now, but yesterday I was in bad shape. Yeah, right away. Right away, it was like, whatever else. Oh, I was in bad shape.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
You get caught up in it. Did you work with Carson at all? I gave him jokes. At the very beginning I sold him a couple of jokes. When he moved out here, you mean? Yeah. When he first moved out here.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Alan Carr, den ich als Präsentator und mit anderen Leuten gearbeitet habe, und ich habe ein paar Sachen für ihn unter dem Tisch geschrieben. Aber dann hat Alan mich gefragt, den Show zu schreiben. Also kam ich 1989 auf und ich habe das Show geschrieben, das legendär geworden ist, weil der Rob Lowe, Snow White, I don't remember it. What happened?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, he opened the show with a 20-minute number set at the Coconut Grove with all old Hollywood stars around and Snow White was visiting Hollywood. He imported a number from San Francisco from a show called Beach Blanket Babylon.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Mit den Hats. Und es war eine Art desaströser... Es sah wie eine schlechte Idee aus, aber das stoppte Alan nicht. Und der Rest des Shows war ziemlich interessant, aber das war in der großen Pantheon schlechter Oscar-Nummern. Es lag hoch. But, I mean, there were other ridiculous... The year before, Terry Garr was on an airplane wing flying down to Rio. It was really strange.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
But what cemented its relation, its notoriety, was two weeks after the show. Oh, Disney sued for the use of Snow White, which was, of course, they had no leg to stand up, but the Academy caved and said, okay, we'll cut it out of the archive. So that was to make one guy at Disney happy. Yeah. Aber zwei Wochen danach kam der Roblox-Sex-Tape-Surfer. Oh, richtig.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Wo er und ein Freund an der Konvention waren, der Dukakis-Konvention. Ja, richtig. Und das Video. Und natürlich muss man sich erinnern, dass das damals war, als es VHS gab. Ja. Und es gab kein Internet und niemand hatte etwas zu teilen. Also wurde es eine hochpreisierte Sache. Und die Leute hatten Partys überall in der Stadt, die sich an den Bootleg-Tipps anschauen. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und er hat es in der Zeit vollständig gewählt. Er hat gesagt, er sei das Poster-Kind für das schlechte Verhalten. Und er gewählt es bis heute. Aber es hat die Reputation des Shows als klassische Disaster zementiert. Das und der Fakt, dass viele von den Leuten, die Alan nicht auf dem Show aufbauen konnte, weil die Netzwerke sie nicht wollten,
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
were big stars and they wrote a letter after Disney sued. They wrote a letter saying, we have to have a quality control meeting about this. This can't happen again. Really? Yeah, so they brought in Gil Cates to produce it and he wound up producing the next 17 shows, I think.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ja, also, was passiert ist, dass der Produzent den Staff zusammenführt, aber wenn es einen Host gibt, gibt es zwei Staffs. Der Host hat generell Leute, die mit ihm arbeiten. Wenn sie eine tägliche Redezeit machen, wie viele von ihnen es sind, bringen sie ihre gesamte Redezeitschaft hinüber. Und natürlich, das stellt einen großen Druck auf den Budget.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Sie können also nicht zu viele andere Leute anrufen, um den Rest des Shows zu schreiben.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Das ist, weil die Leute nicht zufrieden sind mit dem, was die Schauspieler oder die Hostess geschrieben haben. Also bringen sie Comics. Ja, sie bringen Leute. Mein letzter offizieller Oscar-Show war vor zehn Jahren. Wer war der Host? Oh, das legendäre Anne Hathaway-James-Franco-Show. That turned out to be a disaster, right? It was a bigger disaster, but I didn't write about it in this book.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Maybe in the next book. Why? Because nobody asked me about it. It hasn't shown up on YouTube and had the kind of life.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
She's a precision instrument and he wasn't playing along with her and he's apologized to me a million times since. He said he was nominated that year for the movie where he noses his arm off. Und er wusste, dass er zu Colin Firth verlieren wird, der den Stuttering King George spielt.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und er hat gesagt, ich habe entschieden, ob ich in der Publikation sitzen und warten möchte, um zu verlieren, oder ob ich etwas anderes machen möchte. Und wenn sie kamen und gesagt haben, dass ich co-hosten möchte, habe ich gesagt, ja, ich mache es. Und er hat gesagt, es war ein Fehler. Und er wusste nicht wirklich, wie man das macht. Er wusste nicht, es war nicht in seiner Komfortzone.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und er hat einige Schriftsteller mitgebracht, die keine Ahnung hatten. was damit zu tun ist. Es waren junge Leute, die für Judd Apatow arbeiteten. Aber es war eine schlechte Idee von Anfang an. Es gab keine Chemie zwischen den beiden. Es war ein blöder Versuch, die Jugend der Show aufzuheben.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Aber die Anzahl der Leute, die den Show anbieten, ist eine Legion. Um ihn zu hosten. Ja, wenn du reich genug bist, musst du den Show nicht hosten. Du kannst nur in deinem eigenen Weg kommen. Wenn du gut tust, werden die Leute sagen, gut gemacht. Wenn du schaffst, wird der Stink auf dich immer sitzen. Das ist interessant, oder?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
You know, for what it's like, I mean, that's why Billy was good. Yeah, exactly. I think you're absolutely right. Even Steve Martin, who was an oddball He's a movie star, but he loves what he does. He loves the community. And he can comment on it. He's not a mean-spirited comic coming on and making jokes.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It started happening years ago when the independents began taking over. And the movies that were nominated... Yeah. Yeah. 12 Years a Slave and Moonlight, you would never have gotten those movies nominated, much less win, because the Academy voting body was not interested in that kind of picture.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Richtig. Well, but it's alive and well. I mean, last year, Barbenheimer was gigantic, and this year they're going to have Wicked and Gladiator and I don't know what else. Sure, and then people will complain. Popular movies that also the movie makers are appreciating and would make themselves, they do come along.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Das ist sehr unpolitisch zu sagen. Ich habe den größten Ausdruck von Steve, Steve Martin, weil er so seltsam ist. Ich habe vier Shows mit Whoopi gemacht, der größte, und wir hatten Spaß. Ich habe acht Shows mit Billy gemacht, der phänomenal ist. Ich liebe sie alle, also ist es schwer, aus dem Papier zu kommen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I thought he did great, but I thought he grew into it. I thought, I mean, he was at ease after the first one, and he's not mean-spirited. No. He takes it to the edge, but he's not mean-spirited. He takes it to the edge, but that's his shtick, and they know it. No one feels attacked.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ich war kein professioneller Homosexueller. Ich war ein homosexueller Profi. Aber AIDs waren wahrscheinlich die, die das gemacht haben. Ich war immer interessiert. Ich war immer involviert. Aber es ist ein Bewegung, die sich jung verliebt hat. They would out anybody because how dare you not be out. And I always thought, who needs some miserable queen who didn't want to come out?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Let them come out when they're ready to come out. But Was AIDS machte, war ein Kampf um Überwachung. Und die Regierung gab kein Geld. Und im Showbusiness kannst du Geld verdienen, wenn du ein Show machst. Also haben wir Shows gemacht. Und wie ich sagte, ist es so, wie ich mich mit all den großen Krankheiten befindet. Weil wenn du meinen Vorteil machst, dann mache ich deinen Vorteil.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Also wusste ich alles über sie. But that was the beginning of that. And, you know, the when the the community got galvanized to save its life, that brought a renewed interest in becoming first class citizens, because A's showed how much we weren't. Das führte natürlich zu der Egalität der Beziehungen. Das ist etwas, das sehr einfach ist.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Und als der Supreme Court sagte, ja, vor zehn Jahren, waren wir in der Mainstream-Fabrik. Das ist passiert und ich bin besorgt, dass es nicht wie Roe v. Wade zerstört wird. It's important that we are vigilant and stay on the case.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ich meine, wenn man schon in hohen Offiziellegeln ist, ich meine, obwohl er es im Januar nicht sein wird, aber es scheint mir zu sein, dass mehr Leute wissen, dass gaye Paare verheiratet sind, als jemals vorher. Ja. Und wenn man sich die Polls anschaut, disapproven sie nicht. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Es ist also schlicht und klar ein fundamentalistischer rechterseitiger, schwarzseitiger, quasi-religiöser Fanatismus, der das füllt. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And if you were heard in the UK... Okay. Okay. Sie steigt aus einem Poster heraus. Eine Künstlerin namens Tricia Pelluccio, die brillant ist, spielt Dolly. Und in der Zeit von einer Nacht setzt sie ihn in Ordnung. Es heißt also, hier kommst du wieder, wie Dolly mein Leben in zwölf einfachen Lieden gerettet hat. Oh.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And we did five regional productions here and then we toured the UK for six months and now we're in London. It's a hit? It's a hit, yeah. We paid off. The UK actually recouped. Wow. Which is, you know, quite something. And you wrote all the songs? Dolly wrote all the songs. It's all her catalog. Yeah. And I co-wrote it with our director, Gabriel Barry, and our star, Trisha, because she's a
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It's great. I mean, she's actually has been inspired not by us, but by all the other musical star shows. She's working on her own catalog show. Who, Dolly? Dolly is, which will be about a year from now. She can deliver a joke. It was called Hello, I'm Dolly. But now it's called Dolly, an original musical. But she's looking for a Dolly. I mean, I think she wants to create a star. She's funny.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Oh, Dolly ist sehr lustig. Genau. Oh, sie wird nicht dabei sein. Hast du mit ihr gearbeitet? Oh, ja. Ich habe sie vor Jahren gearbeitet. Und dann habe ich an einem legendären Flop-TV-Show called Dolly gearbeitet. Ein großes ABC-Sunday-Nacht-Varieté-Show, das ich nicht in dem Buch inkludiert habe. Für offensichtliche Gründe. Es klingt so, als hättest du ein anderes Buch. Könnte sein. Mal sehen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Welche Musikalien hast du mitgebracht? Hast du es lieb? Ich hatte ein Musikalium namens Platinum, welches in dem Buch ist. Ja. Zusammen mit Ice Pirates, in dem ich bin. Das ist ein weiteres Thema, das die Kinder mich ständig fragen. Ich kann die Musik nicht stoppen. Warum haben sie dich darüber gefragt?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
No, actually they love it. It's become a cult movie, but it's because it's kind of like, it was like before Spaceballs, but it was like a kind of action movie parody. Yeah. It's an uncomfortable parody of things, because it's also asking you to like it for real, but the whole thing is very tongue-in-cheek.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And it was, one of the reasons that it gets seen a lot was it was Angelica Houston's second movie. Okay. Okay. And she won an Oscar for her third. And so they began showing all of her catalog, which amounted to three movies. Yeah. And Ted Turner loved the Ice Pirates. So cable was beginning and he put it on all of his cable stations constantly.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And to this day, Angelica says, what do I do to get, I can't get rid of it. Somebody will come in, they're 20 years old. The first thing they'll say to me is, what was it like being an Amazon in the Ice Pirates? She said, I've had a career. What are they carrying on?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
And the podcast is called what? The Oscars, What Were They Thinking? And I did it with an academician named Adam Davis, who's not, academician makes him sound boring, he's very funny. And we go, we pick a year and we go through the year and explain why things won. His basic premise is, nobody remembers how green was my valley, but it beat Citizen Kane. And that's what we talk about.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
How did that kind of stuff happen? Movies that have no legs walked away with trophies and movies that are iconic and will live through the centuries are overlooked.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, because of Hearst. Because Hearst didn't allow Citizen Kane to get the press.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Well, there's a different situation. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean, generally speaking, it doesn't really apply. That's, I guess, what the show is about.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
It's not an ongoing thing. I think we've recorded three of them and we're going to do a bunch more. And we've chosen random years. Yeah. Some years where not even I was alive. Yeah. We go through. Oh, great. Yeah.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
That's exactly right. There's nothing else you can do. I would try, but try to keep up. I mean, you know, like everybody else, hello Portugal. Yes. All of my seven, you know, figure friends are going to Portugal. Are they? No, a few. But that started a while back.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Most of the people I know in Portugal live online. Ist das wahr? Oh, ja. Was können sie sonst tun? Sie sprechen kein Portugiesisch. Sie sind Ex-Pats, aber es ist nicht wie Paris in den 20er-Jahren, glaube ich. Nein, ich meine, sie sind wahrscheinlich in einer Via. Ja, richtig. Und sie sitzen in einem Raum. Sie gehen zum Algarve, zum Porto und zu Plätzen, wo die Touristen gehen.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Viele Kalifornier sind in Porto geflogen. Genau. Wie in 16. Das klingt wie eine schöne Woche. Ja, genau. Genau. No, I'm interested. I'm staying here and fighting the fight for whatever that means, whatever that's worth. What does that mean to you? Well, you know, I'm a gay activist, I suppose. I mean, I'm a gay icon, so I might as well be an activist. It's on you to do that. Well, yeah.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
There has to be a loyal opposition and there has to be a resistance. And so, you know, I'm happy to be a part of it.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And it's always when... When religion gets involved, you know, when a government is being motivated by religion, it's always bad for people who aren't religious. Right. Yeah. Which is, of course, the whole idea of America was religious people created a place for people who were not religious as well as people who are.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
The people that are were always kind of full-on whack jobs. Exactly.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Hollywood Squares. I was to the left of Whoopi, if that's possible. Which version of Hollywood Squares? The Whoopi version. The iteration of the late 90s. From like 96 to 2002. Tom Bergeron was the host.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Nein, das war der eine? Das war der eine, den ich gemacht habe. Ich habe einen anderen Show gemacht, diesen Sommer, den Fred Silverman, der CBS am Anfang rannte. Er hat an einem Punkt alle drei Netzwerke gedreht. Wow. Individuell. Ich hoffe, er würde PBS übernehmen, um zu sehen, was er da machen würde. Make education fun. He believed in the group host format. Yeah.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Donny and Marie, Sonny and Cher, Tony Orlando and I came out here with Manhattan Transfer. And we did a summer series. And Tony Orlando was across the hall. The Manhattan Transfer. That's what got you to L.A.?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Auch damals, ich meine, wir sagten uns immer, es leidet auf dem Wein. Es hieß die Silkenstadt, es war ein Textilzentrum. Und dann wurde es viel günstiger im Süden, um Silken zu machen. Aber ich erinnere mich, als ich alt war, dass es noch einige Textilfabriken gab, und sie würden in den Passaic-River sterben. Und wir sagten, alles, was du da fängst, ist ein roter Trout. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Das war die erste Comedy-Serie. Sie sahen aus wie Friedfisch. Welcher Lüge war das?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Wirklich? Ja. Das war der erste Lüge. Sie haben nicht über solche Dinge geredet. Nein, aber sie hatten eine tolle Sache. Meine Mutter war eine Showgirl-Monke. Sie wollte wirklich ein Performer werden. Wie eine Rockette? Nein, sie hatte keine Beine dafür. Sie war zu kurz. Sie wollte... Sie liebte es nur zu performen. Sie verabschiedete sich mit einem Arzt. Und mein Vater war... Was für ein Arzt?
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ein Optometrist. Das ist einer der einfacheren. Er wäre ein Ophthalmologe gewesen, aber er konnte nicht in der Medizin arbeiten. Aber seine Eltern waren Optometristen, was seltsam ist. Seine Mutter war die einzige female Optometristin. In Patterson? In New Jersey. In New Jersey? Ja, die Optometrik-Assoziation gab ihr ein Ribbon oder so. Ja.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Ja, ich habe in seinem Büro gearbeitet und das ist, wo ich meine Affinität für Gläser bekommen habe. Ich trage jetzt rote Gläser, aber sie haben keine Präzision in ihnen. Du brauchst gar keine Gläser. Ich hatte Katarakt-Schleimhaut, also wenn du Katarakt-Schleimhaut bekommst, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are these missing? I don't know. I think it was Mrs. Shapiro.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
I think that she decided she needed sunglasses for the shore.
WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
Episode 1602 - Bruce Vilanch
Yeah. Easier to find. This is my theory. Als sie sich um den Nachtstand befinden. Das sind große, große Hunger-Aristotle-Onassis-Glasen. Ja, das muss die Größe eines Ankers sein. Ich weiß, genau. Als ich zuerst mit Irving Lazar kam, der ein großer Agent war. Ich erinnere mich an ihn. Swifty, ja. Swifty, er war bekannt für diese gigantischen Gläser.