Betsy Walter
Appearances
This American Life
339: Break-Up
guess I should sing it happy birthday and your image it still holds a happy accident I can't seem to shake you from my heart
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Well, I wrote to him because my parents are getting divorced, and I really don't know who to turn to. I just told him that my parents are getting divorced, and my dad is with somebody else, and I was just getting used to something, and now this, and it's really kind of hard on me, and I like an opinion.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Because he's somebody who I thought he's very good to us, I guess, because he's a man and he knows a lot of things, and I thought he would know about this, too.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
It's very short. Thank you for the letter. I was saddened to learn of the difficult times you are experiencing now. It is important for you to share your feelings and thoughts with someone during this time. I wish there was an easy solution to these problems, but there is not. Please remember that you are loved and that people care about you all the best. Sincerely, Edward Koch.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I tried it sometimes, because I had a dance recital one day, and I invited them both, but I wanted them to sit next to each other, but they didn't.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Well, the guidance counselor, she said that a lot of kids have the same problems, say there are 400 in school, and like 300 of them have the same problem.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Well, he said that I should try another of his books to find out help.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Well, the problem is he puts things in a way that I can't really quite get through me that I already know, and I want some real advice that my questions really are, not just answers that people keep telling me over and over again.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Well, why did they have to go off and do it? Because, see, the most painful part is when I saw my dad packing up and I really don't understand because, like, it's hard because they won't tell me what happened to them and I really want them back together and I don't understand why they can't.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I wrote a book, and I think I would say the same information that I said.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
All right. Let me get it. It's called A Book About Divorce. Should I read the whole book? It's short.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
It's not your fault when your parents get divorced. Why does it have to be you? Because mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore. Remember, it's okay to be sad and cry. Tell someone about your feelings. That's it.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I don't want to, but I want to write, like, one book that would make it, but not a whole series, you know?
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I am. I have been an elementary school teacher for the past seven years.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Probably 12, a dozen times. Because I didn't hear it for a while. I think I heard it again when I was about 22, 23. Every time I've had a boyfriend, I've played it for him.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Recently was the first change. Really? I used to only hear it with my exact inner monologue from when I was there in the studio. And when I heard certain things, I can still remember the exact thoughts running through my head. I remember it very clearly. I remember thinking that you were just another grown-up, you know, offering your advice.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
All these grown-ups kept telling me things, but I felt like I knew what they were going to say. They were going to say, it'll be okay, and people fall out of love. But that wasn't what I wanted to hear. Like, it's just, I remember everything. It was, I don't know how. And then recently... I think it was probably when I graduated college when I heard it again.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I heard it as an adult, and it was so heartbreaking. I didn't think it was sad when it was me. It was just what was going on. And it made me sad to hear pain in my voice, confusion. And now I hear it even differently as an educator. I hear it as, what would I say to her?
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I don't believe that I wanted what the truth really was, but I wanted what I had created the truth to be in my head. I wanted them to say something to the fact that, you know, oh, we just needed time apart, and of course we'll come back together. I wanted what I thought the truth was. If I had heard the real truth, I think that it would have been devastating.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
Mm-hmm. And my mom did an amazing job of never, ever putting any blame on him, of always being supportive of us having a relationship. But if she had said the truth, I couldn't have a relationship with him. I would have been too angry.
This American Life
339: Break-Up
I do grapple with this. I... because I know exactly what I wanted to hear when I was eight. I think I would tell her that, you know what, I would actually say, this is probably how your life is going to be. You know, your parents made this choice for you. And now, instead of questioning and wondering for so long why this choice was made,
This American Life
339: Break-Up
How are you going to live your life now knowing this is your life? I think I still know myself and I would have been persistent wanting answers regardless. But I do think that I needed to feel less helpless.