Aya
Appearances
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
My mom's Muslim, but she still likes to have a good time with me, so sometimes we'll go out for mocktails, and she'll always order for us. She'll be like, hey waiter, two virgin mojitos please. And I always have to secretly find him and be like, hey dude, leave the cum in my drink. Please. And she hates that. She thinks I'm a slut. She thinks I'm a slut because I don't carry pepper spray.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
She thinks I'm making it too easy or something. But I have a cousin. She's intersex. She was born with a penis inside her vagina. Now that's a fucking slut.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Yeah, but my cousin, she told me she was born with her vagina, like, locked.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
That's actually pretty sad. That's scary. I don't want to talk about it anymore.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Yeah, imagine they put him in there. They put him in her... No, I'm sorry. But, yeah, good to see you.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
It was so lit. I was, like, making pizzas for my family, and my mom made okra pizza. It was so cute.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Yeah, like it wasn't even on the menu. But she just made okra and she was like, I want it on my pizza, put it on my pizza. I put it on her pizza and it was good.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Yeah, no, that's for my second birthday. Hell yeah. I'm older now. Um... I don't even think I'm supposed to celebrate birthdays. My parents are bad. They're sneaky. They let me do a lot of things.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
They be like that. They're cool. They're chill. They're not. They're not at all.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Not like that. They're just, like, they're just foreign. That's it. Like, I don't know. Like, they just text me spam messages. It's like, it's, I don't know. Like, my mom texts me prayers all the time. Like, I'm God. Like... I don't know what to say to this.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Yeah. They don't have that urge. No. No, no, no. I have, like, my bloodline.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Um, no, no, no. I come from, like, regular people. Like, I'm not, like, royal or anything.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
I can tell by people's eyes their bloodline. Like, Tony, you have very blue eyes. Uh-huh. And that's, like, that's not royal. That's, like, peasant.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
That's peasant eyes. Yeah. But I have black eyes, so I don't know. They're kind of scary.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
That is not true. Like, I don't know. Wait, does Donald Trump like Muslim people?
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Okay. No, because Muslim people like Donald Trump. Yeah. Because he's like the first president who doesn't have a dog in the White House. Yeah. Muslims don't like dogs in the house.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Muslims believe if you have a dog in the house, then the angels get scared and leave.
KILL TONY
#707 - JAMES MCCANN
Street dogs, yeah, like the street hot dogs, but they're alive and they're walking. Yep. And not for sale.