Allison Holker

I am the best version of myself that I've ever been. I'm a stronger version of myself. I'm a happier version of myself.

I am the best version of myself that I've ever been. I'm a stronger version of myself. I'm a happier version of myself.

And it's because I can honestly look back on my life and say that I have left it and lived it through integrity and honesty, authenticity, and I have carried my beautiful children with me, lifting them up, having honest conversations with them, still seeing the beauty of life no matter what is thrown my way. And I'm really proud of that. Be the mirror.

And it's because I can honestly look back on my life and say that I have left it and lived it through integrity and honesty, authenticity, and I have carried my beautiful children with me, lifting them up, having honest conversations with them, still seeing the beauty of life no matter what is thrown my way. And I'm really proud of that. Be the mirror.

and visualize a mirror in front of you because all the naysayers, all the hate, all the words, all the questions coming in at you are people doubting themselves and putting it on you. So that also helps.

and visualize a mirror in front of you because all the naysayers, all the hate, all the words, all the questions coming in at you are people doubting themselves and putting it on you. So that also helps.

What's interesting when you've gone through life in the way that we have, people get really scared to admit that. And I just want to yell it and scream it that I'm in love.

What's interesting when you've gone through life in the way that we have, people get really scared to admit that. And I just want to yell it and scream it that I'm in love.

Yes.

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

It was devastating, very confusing. Like you said, three weeks before he committed suicide, we were celebrating that we wanted more kids. And the joke in our home was I gave him an option. Either he gets another kid or he gets the three Doberman Pinschers that he wanted to have. But I was like, you can't have both. You don't get three new dogs and a new baby.

It was devastating, very confusing. Like you said, three weeks before he committed suicide, we were celebrating that we wanted more kids. And the joke in our home was I gave him an option. Either he gets another kid or he gets the three Doberman Pinschers that he wanted to have. But I was like, you can't have both. You don't get three new dogs and a new baby.

And it was something that our family was joking about for months. I had told Steven I would love to have another kid with him, but he also was like, oh, I don't know. I kind of want to have these dogs though. And Wesley would chime in about it. Maddox would chime in. I was a little bit too young to really fully understand, but it would be like a casual talk at our dinner table.

And it was something that our family was joking about for months. I had told Steven I would love to have another kid with him, but he also was like, oh, I don't know. I kind of want to have these dogs though. And Wesley would chime in about it. Maddox would chime in. I was a little bit too young to really fully understand, but it would be like a casual talk at our dinner table.

Like, all right, what's the choice gonna be? Which is why we were so willing to talk about it on the Jennifer Hudson show. You know, they obviously vet questions. It's not like they randomly come up with these questions. They would talk. It was, what's something that's so funny that you guys are talking about in your house? And that was something that was coming from him.

Like, all right, what's the choice gonna be? Which is why we were so willing to talk about it on the Jennifer Hudson show. You know, they obviously vet questions. It's not like they randomly come up with these questions. They would talk. It was, what's something that's so funny that you guys are talking about in your house? And that was something that was coming from him.

You know, we also were actively looking at new homes at that time, you know, and he would be sending me pictures of homes and I'd be sending him pictures of homes and we'd be discussing like what we wanted and the best area to live in for our kids and their futures.

You know, we also were actively looking at new homes at that time, you know, and he would be sending me pictures of homes and I'd be sending him pictures of homes and we'd be discussing like what we wanted and the best area to live in for our kids and their futures.