Allison Holker

And in whatever way in his mind, he thought he was doing that. And I'll never fully comprehend and I'll never fully understand that that was his choice. And I don't know if I'll ever fully be able to forgive him, not for me, because I forgave him for me, but for my children that that was the choice he did. But in his heart of hearts, he thought that he made the right choice.

And in whatever way in his mind, he thought he was doing that. And I'll never fully comprehend and I'll never fully understand that that was his choice. And I don't know if I'll ever fully be able to forgive him, not for me, because I forgave him for me, but for my children that that was the choice he did. But in his heart of hearts, he thought that he made the right choice.

And my job now as the parent to these beautiful children is for them to know that this is not the way out. There are other avenues. There is therapy. There is help. There is talking to the right individuals. There's a support team around you that will help navigate the space with you. That the choice that he made is not the choice that we will make moving forward.

And my job now as the parent to these beautiful children is for them to know that this is not the way out. There are other avenues. There is therapy. There is help. There is talking to the right individuals. There's a support team around you that will help navigate the space with you. That the choice that he made is not the choice that we will make moving forward.

I always grew up in a religion with my family that I have so much respect for, but I had left it for a few years. And then I really wanted to go on my own journey of faith. And I was so blessed to find the Mosaic Church with Erwin McManus. He's my pastor and Beck and Joe. I absolutely adore them. And I've been going to that church now for years. I don't know, well over eight, nine years.

I always grew up in a religion with my family that I have so much respect for, but I had left it for a few years. And then I really wanted to go on my own journey of faith. And I was so blessed to find the Mosaic Church with Erwin McManus. He's my pastor and Beck and Joe. I absolutely adore them. And I've been going to that church now for years. I don't know, well over eight, nine years.

I absolutely adore it. They're my people. And I had brought Steven with me a couple of times and he kind of got into it. And Steven, when he was growing up, had bounced around a couple of different faiths with his family. And then he would go with me to the Mosaic Church. I think Stephen would say he was more of a spiritual person, more than a religious person.

I absolutely adore it. They're my people. And I had brought Steven with me a couple of times and he kind of got into it. And Steven, when he was growing up, had bounced around a couple of different faiths with his family. And then he would go with me to the Mosaic Church. I think Stephen would say he was more of a spiritual person, more than a religious person.

He was always on a journey trying to find himself and become the best version of himself, which is why he did a lot of

He was always on a journey trying to find himself and become the best version of himself, which is why he did a lot of

reading and listening to podcasts and he always wanted to he always really was trying to be the best version of himself always so he was a deeply spiritual person he would pray he didn't read scriptures or bibles by any means that wasn't his choice but yeah he was a very spiritual being Have you talked to God about this? I have. I've talked to God. I've talked to my pastor. And

reading and listening to podcasts and he always wanted to he always really was trying to be the best version of himself always so he was a deeply spiritual person he would pray he didn't read scriptures or bibles by any means that wasn't his choice but yeah he was a very spiritual being Have you talked to God about this? I have. I've talked to God. I've talked to my pastor. And

It's really hard because for me, I feel like in my heart, I've learned forgiveness and the complications and the complexities of everything. And I've never questioned God through it because I think a death like this is a little bit different. I think when people lose someone, when they're a person of faith, I believe sometimes they question God.

It's really hard because for me, I feel like in my heart, I've learned forgiveness and the complications and the complexities of everything. And I've never questioned God through it because I think a death like this is a little bit different. I think when people lose someone, when they're a person of faith, I believe sometimes they question God.

But I think when someone takes their own life, you don't question God in it, you question the person and why. So I think for my children and myself, we still believe that God is so beautiful and looking out for us and seeing us and representing us and being there for us. It's the person we question what they were going through.

But I think when someone takes their own life, you don't question God in it, you question the person and why. So I think for my children and myself, we still believe that God is so beautiful and looking out for us and seeing us and representing us and being there for us. It's the person we question what they were going through.

Because I know a lot of people when they experience death, they question God. But this wasn't God's choice. This wasn't God's doing. He still wraps his arms around us and he still supports us. And he still sees us and he still sees my children.

Because I know a lot of people when they experience death, they question God. But this wasn't God's choice. This wasn't God's doing. He still wraps his arms around us and he still supports us. And he still sees us and he still sees my children.

I do. I believe that.

I do. I believe that.