We’re live for Summer House in Philly! Jessie is without a girl to rub on, so he lets his “toe” get sucked in a foursome with Imrul. Guys it’s not his fault. Women just want him so badly! Also, Kyle and Craig go toe to toe in their spritzer wars, and Carl meets Lil’s parents. Huge Lemur energy. To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: What is the atmosphere like at the live event in Philadelphia?
Hello, you gorgeous people.
Hello, Philadelphia.
We love you guys. Thank you so much for being here. It's so good to see all of you in Philadelphia. Cherry blossom season. What a gorgeous fucking time in this city. Wow.
Yeah. You know, you guys, I mean, first of all, we always have the best time when we come here to Philadelphia. And you guys are always having the best time, especially now that you guys are Super Bowl champions. Yeah. But, um, yeah. Look at Ronnie, that's a football team, Ronnie. I feel like you're all about to kill me. He's like, why are they doing a chant for Olivia Aydin?
I'm an eagle!
I'm an eagle! So last night we were in D.C., and you guys, check in on your friends in D.C. They're kind of going through it right now. Poor things. Poor things. They're all like, ah!
Have you been reading the news? Me neither. What a way to live. Actually, we were back there and I said, actually, I should read the news and see if it was horrifying. Okay. Horrifying. You know how much eggs are? So I opened the news and the first thing was a gigantic picture of Putin. Like, ha ha. That guy is so fucking hot. I'll say whatever's going on over there, I don't read much.
Potatoes make you happy. It's proof. That man is happy. I don't know what the fuck he's doing, but he's smiling like a loon. And his skin looks so good. I didn't know they had good Botox or whatever in Russia.
Yeah. No, it's actually not Botox. It's just the blood of dissenters that they just kill and just... That's what we do to TLC people. Why am I not gorgeous? You know what is hilarious about this? So backstage, we're sitting there. We're like, well, what should we talk about at the top of the show? We're like, I don't know. Did anything happen this weekend? I don't know.
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Chapter 2: How does the podcast relate Summer House to the White Lotus?
That's right. I pandered to White Lotus fans and Philadelphians. Parker Posey and Mara Vista. So I was thinking about it before. I was like, you know, because we're talking about Summer House tonight. Which, by the way, such a good episode.
Oh, thank God. We got a classic. We got an instant classic for here. Toe sucking, the turning of a man just into shit, which we all knew was coming, you know?
Turning of a man into shit.
We just know it's coming on Summer House, and we finally got it today.
Yeah, we caught it right here. But I was thinking that Summer House is really not that different from the White Lotus, right?
It's a bunch of spoiled-ass rich people who you want to see die at some point.
Right?
When is Paige going to kill Craig? That's all we want to know. How does it happen? When does it happen? You know it's going to.
It's going to. Like Walton Goggins. Rick and Chelsea are kind of like Kyle and Amanda.
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Chapter 3: What are the highlights of the latest Summer House episode?
That's a sports thing. Wallace Shawn. Wallace Shawn. You know, like, what do you say from Princess Bride? Inconceivable. Oh. All right.
Anyway, go on. So I fell in love with this little weak person, you know? And then I always think everything's going to be like a romance movie. So we got on the train and he was right in front of us. And I was like, well, on the other side, so I could like look at him the whole time. I was like, oh my God, score. I have someone to stalk.
So I'm looking at this guy and I'm like, it was like a fate, right? I saw him at the blue bottle. I saw him now. We saw that little adolescent thing together and both looked at it like, fuck no. You know, I was like, I'm marrying this weak person. So then halfway through the train, this lady comes over and she's like, honey, there's room where I'm sitting now. And I was like, that bitch.
And then for the rest of the time, I even walked to the bathroom just so I could see them sitting happily. And then the train was wobbling and I kind of fell on him. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. And then I just don't like this to the girl. I was like. Might be time to get married, you guys. It's getting sad out there.
It's fun times on the old Acela train, people. Now I know what it's like to be Danielle on Summer House. Guys, I made it. I'm here from the train. Did you have too much fun without me? Don't start club sending yet.
As I walked all the way to the bathroom, I thought, God, if only I had skin like Putin's, I would have totally won that one. All right. Welcome to an evening of summer housing.
Hey, and can we give a shout out to some of our Patreon premium sponsors that are in the audience? We got Havana Gila Webster Weber. Sorry. But anyone else here? Any other premium sponsors? Oh, my God. Alison King. Ain't nothing like Alison King. And that's it. We killed the rest.
I thought you were going to drop a scroll. All right. Previously on Summer House.
Sierra got mad. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Go ahead, Paige. Thanks. Thanks, other me. Sierra was mad after Wes ghosted her and then did a New York Times article saying he wasn't into her.
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Chapter 4: How do the hosts parody the characters of Summer House?
I'm like so insecure about it. It's so hard being a model.
Give me your booty.
Not until you're committed to me, my mom, and my crazy face sister.
I haven't had sex with a stranger in more than a week, so we're basically married.
Oh, yeah, and there's been a miracle in the summer house. Jessica Tandy is pregnant. And that by her ex-fiance, Soft Carl.
Um, guys, I have an announcement to make. I'm having a baby, and I'm putting a big poster of the sonogram in Carl's room.
Oh, I'm going to stand on the kitchen and try not to feel things. I'm soft. I'm soft. Oh.
And me, I'm trying to find a way to subtly break up with my boyfriend so the internet doesn't tear me limb from limb when it's announced.
Chicken. I can't wait till we're married and you can stop this career nonsense and make tiny versions of me to inherit my pillow empire.
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Chapter 5: What humorous comparisons are drawn between Summer House and other shows?
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So then we cut to Carl and Lil, and Lil is like, oh my God, I'm like a mermaid. Like, Carl, you could have hired me to be a mermaid and you're not water tarp. Oh my God. Anyway, magicians are dope. I was like, what a transition.
She's like, yeah, first of all, magicians are dope.
What transition was that? What was that? Like, oh my God, I'm like a mermaid. Anyway, magician's the best. Am I right?
And when I have free time, I would love to A, go to magic school or B, learn magic.
I think A and B are the same thing. I hate to break it to you. I want to either go to school or I want to learn something out of school.
You know what I have in my purse at all times? Cards. But I don't know any tricks.
Oh, you're ready for some magic. What the fuck is wrong with this girl?
She's like magic-ing and mermaid-ing, but I'm just carrying cards just in case.
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts discuss the dynamics of relationships in Summer House?
No one's letting that inside of them. I'm calling it now.
So, Sierra and Jesse are talking. He makes her take off her giant pelican beak. And he's like, wow, that costume. You really commit hard, huh? And she goes, you think I commit hard? Yeah, like with my boy. And she's like...
But she's like, ha ha, Jesse Solomon. Because they're kind of flirting. So then Wes meets some new girl. And she's like, I like your outfit.
And he goes, yeah, I mean, it's OK.
She's like, mm. She walks away. So then Jesse's like, yeah. You're still like giving like negative energy towards Wes and he's just trying to figure out what he's supposed to do. You know, he just like wants to fully move on. And she's like, well, you might suggest, I don't know, cyanide, razors, maybe putting his lips around a tailpipe and just letting me press the gas.
With it being in park, of course. That would be awkward, right? He's like, I'm ready. She's like, damn it.
I was ready to go.
She sets up a murder scheme and then drives away from it. now that's the summer house cast in White Lotus they just bungle every murder so basically she's like yeah he used me for an entire summer and fuck him and I say I agree so thank you so Kyle's just still on that dingy at this point he's found a volleyball and drawn a face on it
So then Wes sees Sierra and Jess talking, and he's like, man, a lot of conversations going on on that island. So Sierra's like, yeah, well, you know how when you don't like somebody, you know how there's a homely person there, and you don't like them, but they're like, but I like you, and you're like... No one else is here. So you give him a chance. Yeah, that's what happened.
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