Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Loveartpix: Overcoming Autism Stigmas, Embracing Artistic Expression, and Advocating for Neurodivergent Inclusion
Wed, 8 Jan 2025
Send us a textAward-winning multimedia artist Dez, also known as Loveartpix, joins us to share his remarkable journey of living with autism and challenging societal misconceptions. With a confident demeanor that often leads others to question his diagnosis, Dez opens up about the emotional hurdles and stigmas he faces. Through his story, we aim to foster a greater understanding of neurodivergence and emphasize the importance of supporting individuals on the autism spectrum. Dez's experience sheds light on the diverse spectrum of autism, encouraging listeners to rethink preconceived notions and embrace a more inclusive perspective.Navigating the labyrinth of mental health diagnoses, Dez recounts his tumultuous path, initially misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder before his eventual autism diagnosis provided clarity and understanding. This revelation was transformative, especially as he prepared for parenthood, and highlights the need for neurodivergent-informed mental health services. The episode delves into the additional layers of ADHD and racial trauma, revealing the complexities of Dez's journey and underscoring the necessity for tailored support systems and continued research in these areas.Art emerges as a beacon of expression and empowerment throughout Dez's life. By harnessing the power of creative outlets like the Pixart app, Dez channels his focus and manages mental exhaustion, finding solace and self-discovery in the process. His artistic endeavors are not just personal but also societal, as he works to establish a neurodivergent art focus group in a maximum security prison and prepares for a solo exhibition in Manchester. Dez's story is a testament to the transformative power of art, and he invites listeners to share their own stories, reinforcing the message that no one is alone in this journey.https://tonymantor.comhttps://Facebook.com/tonymantorhttps://instagram.com/tonymantorhttps://twitter.com/tonymantorhttps://youtube.com/tonymantormusicintro/outro music bed written by T. WildWhy Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of this podcast?
Welcome to Why Not Me? The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world.
Chapter 2: Who is Dez and what is his background?
Hopefully, you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me The World. Today's guest is Dez, also known as Love Art Pics, an award-winning multimedia artist and X5 award finalist. He is currently working on a documentary in production and serves as an art focus consultant.
Dez is also autistic and has joined us to share his story. We definitely appreciate his participation. Thanks for coming on.
How's it going? You good, Tony? Yeah. I've been asked to do a few podcasts before. I'll turn them down because speaking on this topic, obviously, you know, it's quite, there's a lot of different versions of how people see it. And there's a lot of stigma around it too.
Chapter 3: What challenges does Dez face regarding autism stigma?
And I feel like there's a lot of weight on people's shoulders to say, there's no kind of one right thing to say is that you've got your own truths. Just from my own life experience, you know, I'm judged daily when I, I mean, I'm six foot three, look a certain way, come across very confident. Yeah. I'm questioned on when I say I'm autistic. No, you're not. And it's like, what?
And then I really, and that's part of the trauma that I deal with even now. You know, it's like, I find that traumatic that people have to say that. Yeah, it's one of those kind of things. So when I was approached by, I forgot her name. I just went to ask you that. The lady who messaged me.
Yeah, that was Tori.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, she messaged me on LinkedIn and said, yeah, she's done this podcast. I think you'd be great on that. And I looked up and I thought, I'll be great. You know, I think because you're in the States as well, I think for me, I feel like it feels a bit out of the way, even though it's still global, you know, like it feels different though. In my head, it feels different.
Yeah, I get that. And I'm just really glad that you came on. So when you get that kind of attitude with them saying that you're not autistic, how do you deal with that?
It depends on who I'm speaking to, you know, and who says it. But I just say, well, OK, you know, because you can't argue with people. If they've got a certain version in their head, you can't tell them the opposite and they're going to believe it immediately. So I just normally say, well, OK.
And I say, well, five, ten years ago, I wouldn't have believed I was autistic myself until I understood it, you know. And then I say, well...
what is autism and that's why i say that to them i say i say you don't believe i'm autistic will you tell me what autism is and then every single time it's just there's a silence and it's um it's a complete ignorance and i really struggle with that how people can be that ignorant if i told somebody that i had cancer you wouldn't question that yeah i just feel like it's it's yes it's not um there's that stigma that really needs to be broken down and that's what hopefully i can be part of the movement to to make it better for future generations
Yeah, that's a great attitude to have. That's one of the biggest issues that I think I have talking with people is the ability for others to understand what autism actually is. Really, until I started this podcast a couple of years ago, I was one of those people. I didn't know what autism was. It wasn't in my family. I didn't have any friends that were autistic.
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Chapter 4: How did Dez's misdiagnosis impact his life?
Yeah, I can't disagree there. So how old was you when you was diagnosed?
I was 41 years old. Yeah, I'm 45 now. I mean, even in that, it's opened the key to the door. It's like I lived in a stadium analogy. I've lived in a stadium all my life. The lights have been switched off. I've been struggling around. Now the lights have been switched on. And it's like I can see everything, but there's still tons to go through. I've got to go back through it all.
And I'm trying to understand. And everything does make sense going back through it. But it's just there's tons of it. And it's just... I mean, I don't even feel, I mean, I've spoken to a lot of people who have late diagnosis and they have a lot of anger because they've not been diagnosed for it.
I don't have any anger towards it because I feel if I would have been diagnosed earlier, it potentially would have been a lot worse. I went through a lot of racism and I think being autistic on top of that with the stigma attached to it, it wouldn't have been good, you know?
So I think at this moment in my life, it's the right time for me to process it and have a lot more understanding of different things in life, you know? So I think it's the right time.
Now that you've been diagnosed, what were some of the things that led you to believe that you needed to get checked out and ultimately get your diagnosis?
Yeah, so... I was diagnosed bipolar in my early 20s before. I call it the bipolar boom, where everybody was diagnosed with bipolar, but I got diagnosed just before that, coming into that. I'd never heard of bipolar, and I was having a lot of issues going out, and I was having meltdowns, which I now understand to be meltdowns and sensory overloads.
don't know what was going on um and then so for 20 years 20 odd years i was um under the mental health system given every medication you can take even um one of the psychiatrists i've seen and said look there's you've had every every combination you can have what else do you want us to do for you and i was like that's not what you want to hear you know so um then
My partner got pregnant and it was like, I need to get my, I need to have a better understanding of who I am now. And I need to take control is to be a better father, you know, to be a good father when my son's born. Well, when my child born, I didn't know it was going to be a son. So yeah, I had to fight for that.
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Chapter 5: What role does art play in Dez's life?
Chapter 6: How has Dez's diagnosis changed his perspective?
Chapter 7: What insights does Dez share about neurodiversity?
I mean, during the system, when I was in the mental health system anyway, it's like you bipolar, that's it. And there was lots of messing around and I had to really kind of fight for that. And then I nearly got booted off the mental health system a couple of times because of the mistakes they made. I complained about them. And then there was that, no, it was your fault now to really fight.
And then they come back and then they apologize. And then I said, I need to sort this out. So they put me through to the head psychiatrist who said, yeah, you show signs of autism, which had been mentioned many years ago before, but I never really kind of looked into it again. I didn't know much about it and I didn't seem like I fit in that. And I should have researched it in hindsight.
I wish I would have done, you know, um, but yeah, looking, looking through that, then that was the, the big turning point. And once I looked into it, when they mentioned it and I went for the initial assessment, I was like, wow, it blew my head. I was like, how have I not known this? Everything seems to make sense. So yeah, I got the diagnosis from that.
But then since then I've been diagnosed with ADHD. I believe that bipolar and ADHD are very similar, as you probably know as well. The traits are very similar. I mean, considering that I've taken every medication for bipolar and it's never worked, you know, and then I've now got ADHD. Yeah, I feel like it's always been ADHD.
And also being under the neurodivergent bracket as well, there's a lot of mixing and, you know, yeah. So I feel like, yeah, that's just what it is. And then since then, I've been researching it even more and I looked into, there's a lot of trauma that I have, which I always thought the trauma was from having racial abuse growing up, having a lot of racism. So I thought it was down to that.
Obviously the autism diagnosis, I looked into that further and there's a lot of people who are late diagnosed with complex PTSD.
so i you know i had the therapy for that as well saying that when i when i did have the therapy for that in the service i said initially on the under the nhs i said um can i speak to somebody who has an understanding of neurodivergent conditions so i said yeah and then they came in and then when when we actually went through the therapy they said that they couldn't kind of really finish it because their initial training is on a neurotypical model so again when it when we came down to it at the end it was like the risk wasn't worth the root with the reward
they could have obviously you're visiting a lot of memories and if and that could trigger more i mean i struggle with suicide ideation if there's something like that then that's not they're they're not equipped to deal with that so it wasn't yeah it wasn't worth going into that so they referred me back to my doctor and said do not re-refer and that now i've spoke to my doctor the other week even and she said unfortunately at this moment in time there isn't any services out there that can help because and which i do understand because being having late diagnosis there's there's not much research into it it's fairly new in terms of what they understand of it so
Yeah, I think we're at that kind of stage now where there is research going to take a long time before it gets really kicks in.
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Chapter 8: What are Dez's advocacy goals for future generations?
You know, I only see these people at family do's or that. So, you know, it's part of the mask as well. And I do understand why people don't get it because of the level of masking. The thing that I struggle with is that if somebody if you if you perceive somebody so confident, why would they lie about something that has such a stigma around it to get attention when you don't need attention?
It doesn't make sense that I think is a reflection of people who don't believe it rather than me. And I think that that's the sad thing about it.
Unfortunately, it's the big unknown. It's the big misunderstanding. So many people do not even understand what autism is. So because of that, They only have their perception of what it is, which is Rain Man. I had a person tell me one time she told a person that she was autistic and the comeback was, well, you don't look autistic. Because of that, she wished that she hadn't told her.
The unfortunate part is the understanding is just not there yet. So we just need to keep pushing all the information we can, and hopefully people can get more knowledge and understanding about autism.
Yeah. It's like you say, you know, and it's taught me a while to even get to this stage now where, I mean, the documentary is in, in, um, editing, they're in the editing stage of that now.
That's quite daunting when that comes up because there's a lot of personal stuff on that and that's got a big reach, you know, and it's like, you know, this as well, you know, but I feel like if I'm not going to do it, who else is going to do it? And that's, that's on my own thing. I know everybody is doing their own bits and back.
I feel like it's on me too, as a human, as someone who wants to make my part in society. And that's what I really want to make that change. And I have the understanding and, you know, I blog about this thing as well, you know, and what I know, I'm no specialist. I'm still understanding myself, but I do understand a lot more than I would say the average Joe.
So yeah, I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to get it out there. And like you say, it's just, it's just talking and breaking the stigma down, breaking that stigma down. I think everything in the world has a label. People talk about labels. That's another thing. And they say, oh, I don't like the label. But everyone's label, male, female. We learn as babies, as children, by labeling. That's food.
That's water. That's vegetable. It's the perception of the label. One of the analogies I use is, I mean, it's not probably the greatest one, but it's if when people are growing up, for boys, for example, you know, say my son now who's seven years old. If you asked him, does he want to be a football player when he's older or a bin man?
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