Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Dr. Tina J. Ramsey: Transforming Challenges into Advocacy – Navigating Autism with Resilience and Community Support
Thu, 27 Feb 2025
Send us a textDr. Tina J Ramsey shares her profound journey of navigating autism with her son, emphasizing the essential role of empathy, advocacy, and communication. Her insights encourage parents to support their children with understanding, while providing valuable resources for navigating adulthood. • Discusses personal experiences and emotions surrounding autism diagnosis • Emphasizes the importance of communication for children on the spectrum • Shares challenges faced in traditional schooling and the decision to homeschool • Explores bullying and the impact on emotional well-being • Highlights the significance of understanding during puberty and teenage years • Advocates for community support for parents of autistic children • Provides insights into resources available for young adults transitioning to independence • Encourages self-advocacy and asking questions about available serviceshttps://tonymantor.comhttps://Facebook.com/tonymantorhttps://instagram.com/tonymantorhttps://twitter.com/tonymantorhttps://youtube.com/tonymantormusicintro/outro music bed written by T. WildWhy Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Chapter 1: What is the story behind Dr. Tina J. Ramsey's advocacy for autism?
Well, even if we did complain, it's not going to do us any good anyways. I appreciate you coming on. If you would, tell us how you became an advocate for autism.
Well, as far back as I can remember, I always loved to be a voice for the voiceless. So my mom and dad used to have me doing a lot of volunteer work when I was younger. So I kind of carried on in my adult years. And I just loved the special, I don't really like to say special needs. I like to say learning differences, community.
So I went to school because I really wanted to be a child care provider. That's what I wanted to go to school for. But once I went to college, I changed my mind and I said, I want to do childhood development with the specialty of special needs and, you know, learning psychology and sociology and all that good stuff like that. And so that's what I end up going to school for. And I just love that.
love working with the community. And so that's how it initially started. Yeah, that's how it initially started. And I guess I'll tell you a little bit about how my life changed a little bit.
You say that your life changed. How did it impact you?
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Chapter 2: How did Dr. Tina J. Ramsey's personal experiences shape her understanding of autism?
OK, so it impacted me in the way that I saw that it was a breakdown of communication between the parents and the administrators and the child with their parents and then the parents. I mean, and then the child with the teachers. And mostly in the community where I work, which would be children that's on the autism spectrum that had various different learning, I would say, disabilities.
I really don't like the terminology. I love learning differences because I just feel like it's just a different way of learning. And so what basically happened, that's how I got into it. And that's how it started changing. And so when I saw that I was kind of like a liaison,
Because even though I had a nonverbal child, but yet I was able to understand the nonverbal communication that can be understood as being aggressive, not wanting to listen. It was just something that I could read it, right? And I was like, no, they just say they hungry. You know, no, they just say that they don't like that. You know, the sound is too loud, you know?
And so I was that person that the individual would come to. The children felt very comfortable with me. I could calm the children down. And I just realized that I found my way. through the eyes of these beautiful children. And I was just honored that, number one, they trusted me. Number two, I was able to bridge that gap.
Number three, I just love seeing their little eyes light up when they are able to do something new because you figured out the way that they learn. And I'm just thinking about it now, the children that many of the teachers like, oh, they're just a lost cause. I'm like, no, there's no children that's a lost cause. Seeing them do things for the first time, building up their confidence.
I just love it. Yeah. And so that's when I saw I could actually make an impact on my job, you know, when I used to work in a public school system.
Yeah, that's so rewarding. Now, did you say that you have a child that's nonverbal?
I did not have a child that is nonverbal in the beginning. So this is a little interesting. In the beginning, my child was that child that was hitting all the milestones that you're supposed to hit.
Okay.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Dr. Tina face with traditional schooling and how did homeschooling help?
Well, now he's 18.
Oh, okay. Now that we know that he's 18, what did his formative years look like? He was nonverbal at five. Now at 18, he is. How did he get through his teen years and evolve to what he is today?
Well, it was very difficult because in the beginning, my children was in public school. I have a daughter that is older. My son is the baby. Being that he had a different way of communicating, he really got bullied a lot. My son also have what they call in school medical sensitive. It's just another word of saying your child stays sick all the time. Low immune system.
So we had to deal with him being on different medications, being asthmatic. And then some of the medicine and steroids would interact with his behavior. It was just a lot of different things that kind of like had us in a whirlwind. Due to that, and then he's taken from what they call normal class and put into a controlled environment where everybody know, it just kind of like shifted dynamic.
And he was bullied a lot. He was very sad. He was that child that wanted to have a lot of friends.
Yeah, that's really tough to take. Now, you got him through up to the 18. Neurotypical kids have a tough time during the teens with the hormones raging and all the different things that's happening. So it's even tougher a lot of times on kids that are neurodivergent. How did your son handle that time in his life?
Well, I would say this. We, because like I said, he was in public school for a while. And then around about second grade, we took him out and we homeschooled both of our children. Now he wasn't getting bullied every single day at school, but we had to get used to now homeschooling, making sure he still has socialization, making sure he could still get the training and stuff.
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Chapter 4: How did Dr. Tina address bullying and emotional well-being for her son?
Now we had him in homeschool co-ops and everything like that. Dealing with the teen years. I say is very interesting because what I tell parents is the child that you have when your child is before puberty is not the same child once they hit puberty.
So what worked then with education and all the different things that we did, even with things that he liked, it was like I had a completely different child. OK, and I was like, what am I going to do? And now puberty. And so for us, it was difficult in the beginning. But once we learn his life and I had to sit down with him and have conversations with him about, OK, how are you feeling?
I put him in this class that actually help you be able to express yourself socially, even though I taught him. But I want him to learn from somebody else to build up his communication skills. And then I put him in situations where he had to communicate with other people. And it helped out a lot. And I also made him very comfortable with it's OK. not to be a people pleaser.
It's very difficult, even as for an adult. And so I'm happy to say that overall, it started off bumpy, but it ended up, we're calm. We're in the calm. We 18, we're in the calm now.
Well, that's really good to hear. Now that he's 18, is he going to college? What's his life look like now?
Well, he was so happy that he made it through high school. He was like, listen, college is not for me unless, quote, I quote like he does, it's teaching me something that I need to do in order to work the job that I want to work.
So for us, what I did, because many parents don't realize that when your child falls into what the state calls special needs category, they have different things like vocational rehab and different other services that you can put your child in. And they will provide them with a career coach. to be able to help them with resume building, emotions, working with other people.
They have smaller size workplaces. So they put them in real work environments and teach how to work with people. So that was our next step. So my son is actually working and had a career coach. And then they work with you. And then they work with you to the point where they put you in a real life job.
So it's like simulated work, but then they get you, once you get to the point you pass everything, then they put you in a real job based upon what your interests are. So they ask you what your interests are, and then they look around for businesses that will work with the special needs community. And I'm saying special needs just because that's what we're talking about.
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Chapter 5: What resources and support are available for young adults with learning differences?
So if he does have meltdowns or emotional whatever, we have people on call that can actually be able to help and keep him centered with it.
Yeah, that's very important. Lots of times parents feel alone and every bit of help they can get is just so important.
One of the main things that I hear a lot of parents say, what am I going to do once they graduate high school? What am I going to do? Because you feel like, okay, I had all the support while they was in public school or their home school. Now I don't have anything, but that's not true.
There are a lot of board of disabilities, different programming that are catered to young adults to help them be independent as possible, even programs to help them find roommates as to live by themselves, to be independent. So there's so many things. And if we have it over here in the little town of South Carolina, I know they have it in metropolitan cities and everything like that.
So I would tell parents just to reach out and look for the resources available. But right now he's working. And it's funny because I never thought, right? And it was part of the advocating. I research. I found out a lot of information. I asked questions to provide him with the best that I could do and also finding people that can do even better than what I could do. And so that was the key.
And stop being embarrassed because you don't know certain things. It's okay. Ask questions.
Absolutely. One of the biggest fears that parents have is when they find out their child is autistic. It's the unknown. They don't know what to expect. They don't know what to do. They don't know who to contact. There are just so many questions. The biggest thing that you said is just so important. Don't be afraid to ask questions because you're advocating for your kid.
And they're so nervous because you already feel like you're under a microscope anyway. Sometimes they may feel afraid to even ask for certain help because they don't want to be looked at as a neglectful parent. Then why? Oh, you can't afford this or you can't do that. Or why didn't you know this?
And so you have all of these worries in your head because you want the best for your child, but then you don't want... To ask for help if it means that you're looked upon in a different way or it may put your child in a situation where they may be forcibly removed from your home or all kind of different things of the stories that we hear that are not typical.
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Chapter 6: How does Dr. Tina encourage self-advocacy and resource-seeking for parents?
And I'm pretty much that not only a homeschooling advocate, but a mother with a child with autism advocate because of all the things they saw what I did with my child. And they were like, can you come train other parents? And I'm like, I don't. And like create a blueprint or anything. I mean, I can come speak to them.
And I mean, it's not like I wrote it down like, OK, step one, this is what you do. But yeah, so I'm just I'm just happy because in my mind and compared to what you see, this is not supposed to be the situation. And so I'm just grateful for everything.
What are some of the things that you do now, not only for those that actually need the help, but for those that really need more understanding?
Well, one of the things that I did, well, myself, I was a mother in a community on social media. And then they asked me to come in and co-found the group because I put a lot of information in. At first I said, absolutely no, not, no, but then I said, I just want to give resources. And then later on, I said, yes. And that's been seven years ago.
Wow. That's great. How big has it grown for you, this community?
community of about 24,000 homeschooling parents over the past seven years. Then I started a magazine that actually addresses all the learning styles and actually bring parents to write their stories about their experiences, as well as connected them with companies and resources to help their children and also give them discounts on educational things, right?
So I go and talk to different companies and be like, okay, I have a community. OK, I have people that follow me. I have a podcast. I have a TV show. If you're not going to give me anything, can you at least get them 10, 20 percent off, 15 percent off if they use a code? Even if I don't get anything, can you do that? Can you do a giveaway? Sure. So I'm like, OK, so and write blogs.
So that's what I have been doing personally in order to kind of for the parents that are afraid to ask. For the parents that are a little embarrassed to ask, I see the questions or they may reach out to me privately. And then I'm like, OK, so a lot of parents probably have the same question. I don't put their names. I just make it a question. We answer the question.
And then I bring people like lawyers to come in and answer those questions of well-being for your child, banking, all the different things that sometimes you don't even know to ask, to be honest with you. You don't even know to ask. And so I bring those people because it's not just about me at the end of the day.
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