I can't be perfect. it pains me because I want to be perfect.but as human beings, we are flawed. what makes us so special is the way we deal with the mistakes we make on a day to day basis.make mistakes, own up to them and try your best to be better. that's all you can ask of others, including yourself.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaaaacehttps://stan.store/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: Why do I feel like I've messed up relationships?
I have a person in my life that I hold so dear to me in which I feel I have messed up our relationship. I feel that I have not been as committed to the friendship as they have been and that as a result has made it seem as if I do not care about them as much as they care about me. And I think that there's a couple things at play.
I think part of it is that I haven't communicated the fact that, listen, I am not as communicative as you are. We don't communicate in the same ways. Like, I like my space. I need my space. And honestly, if we don't talk, you know, for a month or two, I don't see anything wrong with that. But I don't think they feel that way. And I think that they feel like they've been slighted.
And I feel as if I messed it up. I genuinely feel as if I've made a grave mistake. And I think part of it is the fact that I am an over-promiser. At heart, I promise way too many things that I know I cannot deliver. And I think I've gotten better at not promising so much as I've gotten older. But honestly, I still do it. I still do it like every day.
I remember I told my parents that I was going to call them, you know, on like a Sunday a few weeks ago. And I ended up calling them on the following Sunday. Which I guess I was right, you know. But it was like that was not what I meant. I wanted to call them the day that I texted them. And I just let myself... I let myself... I don't know. I let myself be the old version of myself.
I think that's really what happened. You know, I really feel guilty... I do. I feel guilty about it. I don't like the fact that I overpromise things. And I don't like the fact that I make everything into a bigger deal than it has to be. I think that that is something that I need to work on. And it's something I'm still figuring out.
I think I've only really become conscious of it in the last year and a half. When my friends pointed out to me, yo, you promise so many things and you never do them. Why is that? Like, why do you do that? Just don't promise it. Stop leading us on. That really hurt. That really hit. I actually, what I wanted to say, what I stopped myself from saying is that really hurt. And it also did.
It really hurt. Because I want to be there for my friends. I want to be there for the people that matter to me. And maybe you feel the same way. And you feel as if you've just been letting people around you down. And still, I just feel like I messed it up. I messed it up. And maybe this train of thought is the problem.
Because when you ingrain the idea of the fact you messed it up into your mind, right? You almost like absolve any kind of accountability to fix it. It's very easy to just put the stamp of like, I messed it up and it's over on a situation that matters a lot to you and just be like, whatever, whatever. I'm the worst. I'm the worst anyways. It doesn't matter.
I was going to mess it up in a matter of time. But what's actually harder is to take accountability for the fact that, yo, like, yeah, I messed it up, but I'm a human. I'm going to keep messing things up until I really lock it down, figure out a way that I can work around this or fix this and do something about it. Because I'm messing things up, but I don't think I'm doing things about it.
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Chapter 2: How does over-promising affect friendships?
We should be able to fail in the open. Like we should be able to make mistakes. Now, granted, you know, there are levels to that. Be respectful. Okay. Respect personal space. Don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you. Keep that in mind. Common sense. But like we've really started to restrict ourselves in what we do. And I even see that with how I view myself now.
I'm like, I really feel like I mess up all the time. And it's like, no I don't. No I don't. And you're probably not messing up all the time. You probably think you are. Because you didn't get out of bed on the right time. Because you didn't, you know, do this thing that you told yourself you were going to do beforehand.
But it's like, that doesn't matter as much as what you do afterwards, after that realization. You making a decision to still get things done, even when everything has gone wrong. That's what matters. What's going to matter for me is calling my friend and being like, what's up, man? I know we haven't spoken in a while. I'm sorry. I apologize. I've been busy. What's good?
Picking up where you left off. It's like you don't need to build all of this, you know, I need to like have a perfect time. No, you don't need any of that. Never have you needed any of that. You don't need to be the perfect person to start something or to admit something to somebody. If anything, being more honest with who you are right now, man, that will make you more than good enough.
Because you're already good enough. It's just you don't believe it. It's just you don't believe it. And I need to remind myself of that. I do. Because sometimes I don't feel it. I don't. What I feel instead is everything I've done wrong. Everything I've messed up. That's what occupies the hamster wheel in this brain. And at some point you got to realize, okay, yes, you know, I messed it up.
Just like this paper because I was sitting on it. You know, I messed it up. But that's not what defines me. What defines me is my character. What defines me is how I speak through my actions. And I can admit where I've been wrong and where I have made a mistake. But someone, if they really appreciate me and they really love me, they're going to take me for who I am right now. Not for my past.
Not for what I'm telling them I'm going to do in the future. It's my actions. Actions always speak louder than words. Period. Boo. Period boo. What? I messed it up. Okay, you messed it up. So what? You broke up with that person you shouldn't have broken up with. Okay, you messed it up. Now you know. Put it into practice.
Like, if you don't realize these things, if you do not stay cognizant about these things, then you won't know. You'll just continue to be in this, oh, I keep, ah, ah, I keep messing everything up, ah, you know? You're going to keep trapping yourself in this jail, this like invisible jail in your mind that you are the worst.
What would it look like if you just accepted the fact that you were going to mess up? What would that look like? Would that feel freeing? Because I think that you would feel so free and I think that you would appreciate that so much more and you would find so much to love within yourself if you just accepted the fact that, yo, I messed it up. I messed it up and that's okay.
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