I used to be the first person to find a distraction from my feelings. after years of feeling worse and worse about myself and my relationships, I ended up figuring out that I just needed to face the quiet. I needed to let people talk before I put words in their mouth.sending you all love and peaaaaaaaace!https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: How can silence reveal the truth?
If you want to know if somebody is telling the truth or not when you ask them a difficult question, give them silence. Give them silence. Ask the question and let them answer. A lot of us like to put things in other people's mouths. What I mean by that is we like to voice assumptions. We are trying to be in denial of let's say a person who has...
told us that there was a guy we didn't have to worry about and we definitely had to worry about them and something went down and we're trying to be in crisis mode and still figure things out but in the back of your mind you know what happened you know what went down and so we go into this investigation right on some Sherlock Holmes and eventually it's us and the other person sitting in a room talking and as they answer
What we do is we just, we build out their answer for them. Oh, I know you did this because, you know, you just, you felt like I was neglecting you. Oh, I know you did this because I wasn't paying as much attention to you and maybe I felt you, you know, I made you feel belittled. No. Let them answer the question. Because if you say it for them and it's not true, They can agree with it.
Chapter 2: Why is it important to let others speak?
They can let you live with it. But I think that there is so much power if you learn in your life to enjoy the silence. I love silence. I love it in conversation. I don't think it's awkward. I don't think it's weird. I think it's telling. Silence speaks volumes.
Oftentimes, it speaks volumes when I make a joke that is brain rotted, and somebody that I care about goes, and I'm like, oh, I'm cooked, I'm done, it's over. It's over for me, because they don't know about friggin' packet. They don't know about friggin' packet, and you know, and bro, they don't know about any of that, and it's just like I'm talking to a wall. Oh gosh. Maybe I'm the problem.
You know what? Actually, revision, I'm the problem. But I've learned to enjoy the silence because there was a time in my life where I really didn't like silence and I thought it was a bad thing. And I thought that I needed to insert myself into, you know, every conversation, everything. And I couldn't just be myself and just exist. The other day I was with two of my homies.
We were working on something together. And one of them brought up the fact that they listened to an underground artist named Koi. Shout out. And the other, his eyes lit up and said, you listen to Koi? I listen to Koi. And both of them just immediately clicked and had a moment. And I remember I was sitting in the back of the car and I was just like, dang. Dang.
I felt like the where my hug at person. You get me? You know, that one friend. Oh, where my hug at? Get away from me, bro. Oh, my. Hell no. Hell no. And I wanted to have some of that excitement of like, oh, I know this artist, too, even though I didn't know them.
And I don't know, I was a little envious of that, but I remember in that moment I was like, wait a minute, this is a beautiful moment where two people are figuring out that they both have similar interests and that they have a similar vibe. That's a really beautiful thing. Why should I insert myself into that? Why can't I just experience it? As an outsider. As somebody who's just looking in.
Why can't I just enjoy the silence? This is their moment. Why should I crush it? And the joy that I got from, you know, just being there. It was immense, bro. I was so happy for both of them. It was like a really cool interaction. It was very niche. It was just nice. It was very heartwarming.
And in a similar vein, I feel like I've learned to enjoy silence when it comes to reading people and kind of being on the outside perspective. Like, you know, I'm someone who definitely loves people. I love talking to people. I love yapping, blah, blah, blah. I love asking questions and I love learning more about things. But I really do like to observe as well.
I like to see how people operate in a room. I like to see, you know, what people like to do and how they act and, you know, it really is something that I've come to enjoy is like, just, I'm going to be a little silent. I'm not going to be the quickest to, you know, I'm going to be nice and I'm going to talk to people, but I don't need to be super like, Oh, so what do you do?
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Chapter 3: What can silence teach us about ourselves?
Like, why am I just like willingly knowing that there is a problem and I'm just ignoring it instead of like just hearing it out? Sometimes all my inner critic wanted was just like a stage. He just wanted a 10-minute comedy show set. He wanted to make fun of me, make some jokes. And after that, he was done. And it was silent. And I wish I had done that more.
I wish I had really spent time in silence a lot more often. I think I do it an okay amount now. I'm trying to get better at that. But there is something so comfortable about being in silence alone, recognizing you have the silence, and figuring out how you want to move through it, what you want to turn on for your music, what you want to have...
going on in your space what you want to think about what you want to focus on and for a lot of us that are super go go go go go and we don't give ourselves that break we just burn like like we just become so bogged down by everything all the time and there's no space to breathe it's almost like you're snorkeling and you're holding your breath the whole time like you can see cool stuff but you got to go up and get some air to snorkel more
But that's easier said than done because some of us, when we are in silence, we think of We think of our past and maybe it haunts us a little bit. Maybe we think of the things that we did wrong or the experiences that happened to us that are unfortunate and aren't our faults. But they stick with us and that's a rough place to be.
Chapter 4: How does silence help in personal growth?
But I've found that the more I was able to spend time in silence and the more I was able to claim it back, the better I felt. And I'm so grateful now. I enjoy my silence so much now because I remember a time where I didn't have silence. I had truthfully just a lot, a lot of anxiousness, a lot of anxiety every time I was with somebody.
And, and I don't know, I, I, I, I didn't feel like I deserved to be Silent I needed to play a character in my relationship I needed to be somebody that I wasn't and that did not include silence. It didn't include just being me Because when you are silent, I feel like you are really at a vulnerable state of just being you Some people are silent by default and that's awesome.
I'm not Yeah, I'm a yapa so For me, it's a little bit more difficult But I cannot stress enough the power of just letting yourself be and exist in a place. Whether that is a park, whether that is your childhood bedroom, whether that is your dorm room, whether that is a place at work where you can sit down and just chill for five, ten minutes and just let yourself hit the pause button.
sometimes you need to sometimes when you're playing the game of life you get overwhelmed by a bunch of mobs and you gotta pause the game to understand where their positioning is you know and then be like okay I can tap back in and I can figure it out but so many of us just deprive ourselves from having any kind of pauses any kind of moments where we can just like relax be silent be quiet and just enjoy ourselves
Chapter 5: Why should we embrace moments of silence?
And I think it's because, you know, we want to be stimulated, man. We live in such a overstimulation of a society and this like, well, I'm so deep. But it's like that is life. That is just the course of life. And we have to deal with the fallout of that. Decades ago, there was always, always silence. There was silence when you were working.
There was silence when you were driving to work, driving home. There was silence at the dinner table with your family because you had beef that day, literally for dinner, and you had beef between each other. But now you don't even have silence at dinner. When was the last time you ate dinner in silence? Not even at a restaurant, just at home. I can't tell you the last time.
I always watch something while I eat. It's like if I don't, then my life is over. It's a bad habit. It's a bad relationship to have. I don't think it's right. I think we have to embrace the quietness and the mundane hum of life sometimes. It's important. It really, really is. But how do you learn to enjoy something that
feels wrong sometimes like you ever talk to somebody and it's just like silent and and you know you just you don't know what to do you don't know how to move but maybe that awkward silence is supposed to happen maybe that is a course of the conversation that needs to be had you know i got some visitors that are enjoying the silence with me They're chilling.
Chapter 6: How does silence affect our mental health?
But in all seriousness, I can't tell you the last time I just chilled and ate something and I was alone with my own thoughts. Oftentimes I'm trying to I'm trying to just like run away from them. And it's sad because oftentimes I get some of the best ideas. I get some of the best clarity when I sit in silence and I just let the things process.
We often think that there's some kind of solution to being able to go through something or process something. But in reality, what it really is, is time. It's time and it is consistently working through it subconsciously. That's really what it is. And I think being in silence allows you to become comfortable with a lot of things that might be causing turmoil deep within you.
Because it makes you realize that at the end of the day, It's not that deep. At the end of the day, you are going to go through the ups and downs, but you will eventually be in the same place. You'll be chilling. You'll be having a $60 Chili's date. You'll be relaxing, you know. And it is a very comfortable feeling to know that the silence... The silence is good. It's a good thing.
And that sometimes the best questions in other people are answered through silence. They're seeing what their body language is, how they react. And the same is true for yourself. It is. It is. You might not even know how you feel after something happens. You might not even know how you've processed it after something happens. You might have to just sit in silence and let it come to you.
There's no rush process. and going through things, there's no correct time. Oh, it should take you this amount of time to grieve through the loss of a loved one. There's this amount of time after you get over your ex that cheated on you. There is this amount of time to know what is good for you. There isn't. But the more time that you do spend being comfortable
existing in your own skin, the more you will realize there's a lot of good in you. There's a lot of good going on here. It might not show itself all the time, but making a conscious effort to enjoy the silence and just see where it leads you is important. You don't have to stay silent all of the time, but just give yourself that break. Let yourself rest and let yourself reset.
Sometimes that's all it takes to finally realize, yeah, I'm going to break up with him. Or, yeah, you know, I'm going to quit my job. That is, it's not good. It is not good. My boss is not awesome or done. Enjoy the silence. Zerky Show, enjoy the silence. Very important. Quick announcement, I've started a P.O. Box.
If you want to send me anything for a chance to be featured in Mail Time with Zerky, this is the way to do it. This is how you can address it. If you got a question, a letter, you want to send me something, this is the best way to do it. Tap in. Also, did you know that The Zerky Show is everywhere you go? That's right. You can watch it. You can scroll it. You can stream it.
It's the same name everywhere you go. But just know, the Zerky Show is here to stay every day, and that will not change. Do the things that bring you joy in this life. Try something new. If you need someone to believe in you, I believe in you. And if you can ride the highs and survive the lows, maybe it's meant to be in your life. Other than that, know that I love you.
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