Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just unsure how to start changing your life? The secret isn’t some massive transformation—it’s much simpler. In today’s episode, I’ll show you the single most important skill for improving your life, and it’s something you can start using right now. Stop overthinking the future and start making real progress today. Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
Chapter 1: What is the most important skill for improving your life?
Today I'm going to be talking to you about what I believe is the most important skill that you can have for improving your life. And before we do that I want you to just think about this for a second. Have you ever felt that you wanted to change your life but you feel like there's a lot of pressure with the idea of changing your life?
Like the idea of changing your life can kind of feel a little bit like it's too much. Like this idea of becoming a new person is exciting but because Becoming a new person and all of the things I need to do and all of the habits that I need to create, it feels overwhelming, doesn't it?
So overwhelming that you might not end up doing anything at all because you start thinking about all of the stuff that has to be done. You get this paralysis by analysis. If you're the type of person who is part of this podcast and you show up and listen to it often, then you want change. You're the type of person who's ready to change your life and to change yourself to change your life.
Chapter 2: Why does thinking about the future cause paralysis?
But when we think about being changed and changing forever... It's this unknown. And thinking about all of that change and all of that unknown, the brain can kind of freak out. What does that mean? It's scary. Like if you think about change to the brain, it's a threat to the brain. That's how the brain sees change because your brain wants to focus on safety.
And so your brain can tend to shut down. It's kind of like standing at the bottom of a massive mountain, staring up at it and thinking to yourself, oh my God. how the hell am I gonna get all the way to the top of it? What if you just stopped thinking about the entire mountain? What if you just started thinking about the next step?
I think the key to change is to take some pressure off yourself, to take it all and make it simpler. Change doesn't have to be so scary. Like for me, I like to simplify things. If you've listened to me for a while, you know that.
So instead of obsessing over who you want to be a year from now or what you want to be 10 years from today, why don't you just ask yourself the question, who do I want to be today? And so I think the most important skill for improving your life is to have that long-term vision but short-term focus. So you have long-term vision of what you're trying to do, but your focus isn't focused on long-term.
Chapter 3: How can focusing on short-term goals lead to success?
Your focus is focused on short-term. And I mean very short-term. I mean today. And so let's break down what you need to do to actually make this work. Because focusing on long term can backfire on you. Like, don't get me wrong, big picture, vision is great. You need it to make sure that you're heading in the right direction. You need a North Star in your life.
But all too often, if you're only focusing on 10 years from today, it can become a trap for you. And the reason why is because for a lot of people that I've coached with over years, it creates a lot of pressure.
Like they start getting a lot of pressure thinking about the next five years because the next five years can seem like a lot because we're thinking to ourself, okay, for me to become this person, for me to make this amount of money, for me to have this business in five years, I started thinking about all of the things I need to have done.
And then we get overwhelmed because we think about all of the things that need to be done. And we think to ourself, I need to get them done right now. And that thought can paralyze us. And it feeds procrastination. And our brain will resist big changes a lot of times. Because as I said a minute ago, change is seen as a threat to the brain. Your brain only really cares about survival.
And it knows in this moment right now, everything's okay. In our comfort zone, we're fine. Outside of our comfort zone, danger. So what do we do? We put things off. We procrastinate. Oh, I'll start on Monday. And then Monday turns into next month. And then next month turns into next year. And next year turns into never. And if you do this long enough, it turns into self-doubt.
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Chapter 4: What is the three-step process to refine your identity?
Because the gap from where you are right now to where you want to be feels huge. And it feels too big. And so you might assume that, hey, this is too big. I'm going to fail. I'm not going to be able to do this. And so because of the fact that you assume you're gonna fail, you decide not to even start, or you just decide to give up.
And most people don't change because they get stuck so much in thinking about the future instead of just acting in this present moment. And so what you need to do is just, it's a simple three-step process, okay? The first thing you need to do is this. You need to refine your identity just for today. You don't need to overhaul your entire life.
You don't need to get rid of all of your relationships. You don't need to be a different person for the rest of your life. I just want you to try on a new identity just for today because your identity is your foundation and your actions come from the beliefs that you have about yourself. If you believe that you're lazy, you'll act in a lazy manner.
If you believe that you're disciplined, you'll act more disciplined. If you believe I'm not a morning person, well, then guess what? Your alarm goes off and you just keep on hitting the snooze. Why? Because you're not a morning person. Now, I want you to understand, you can force yourself to act out of alignment with your identity for a short period of time.
This is why people can trick themselves at the beginning of a year when there's New Year's resolutions, and they can be like, yeah, this is exciting, this is fun, I'm gonna be a new person, and they can do it for a week, two weeks, three weeks. They can do it for a short term, but because their identity hasn't shifted,
eventually they're gonna stop because you are acting out of alignment with who you think you are. And so people can force themselves to act out of alignment with who you think you are, your identity, for a short period of time, but not long-term. Long-term, you will always act in alignment with who you think you are.
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Chapter 5: How do you choose your identity and values for the day?
And so most of us don't realize that we're carrying these old, outdated beliefs about ourselves. And so what I wanna challenge you to do just for today? What if you just decide to be someone completely different? What would that look like? And so it's very simple. Here's what you're going to do, okay? Each morning, you're just going to ask yourself a very simple question.
Who do I want to be today? You look at what you have going on for today and you think to yourself, I'm just going to be somebody else today. Who do I want to be? Remember when you were a little kid and you're like, I'm Superman. I'm a princess. I'm an astronaut. And you could be like Superman and a princess and an astronaut all in the exact same day. And you actually believed that you were.
So who do you want to be today? Looking at what you have going on. Think about that and you write down who you want to be and you just want to jump into this new identity. And you think to yourself, like, what kind of energy do I want to bring to my life today? How do I want to show up for myself, for other people? And then what you do is once you choose that identity, it's very simple.
You just choose three words that reflect the identity that you want to have for today. And so an example is, you know, let's say that you decide, okay, my three words are I'm going to be focused, I'm going to be patient, and I'm going to be bold. Cool. This would be really great for someone who's trying to take action, be more disciplined, focus, patient, bold.
But let's say that today you're not really wanting to be disciplined. Maybe you want to break out of a rut. You want to be more creative. You want to have some more fun. And so maybe what you say is, today I want to be creative, I want to be playful, and I want to be adventurous. That's pretty good. Maybe you want to strengthen your relationships.
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Chapter 6: What are examples of daily identities and words to live by?
Maybe it's Sunday, you want to focus on your relationships. You say, I'm going to be loving, I'm going to be grounded, and I'm going to be confident. Okay, pretty good. And so you figure out who you want to be today, and then you give yourself three words of how you want to show up, the words of the way that you're going to show up.
And these words aren't random, and they're not just something that you write down in the morning. They become your mental GPS for the day to show you where you're going to go, how you're going to be, how you're going to act. And then every action that you have throughout the day, big or small, should just reflect these three qualities.
So you just take these three words, you put them in your phone. You say, today I want to be this. That's my identity. My word is this word, this word, and this word. And those are your three words. And you can choose, this is the best part about it. You can choose a new identity every single day and three new words every single day, depending on what you have going on for the day.
and what you need to accomplish. So let me give you an example. Let's say it's Friday. I'm busy. I got a lot of shit going on today. And I need to get a lot of work done so that I can clock out and not have to think about work for the weekend. So it's Friday. I need to get a lot of work done. I need to finish up the week. So I might sit there in the morning and say, okay.
I want to be efficient, I want to be focused, and I want to be disciplined. Okay? Efficient, focused, disciplined. Efficient, focused, disciplined. And then every action that I take as I'm going through and I'm thinking about how I'm going to be acting throughout the day, I'm thinking about today I want to be efficient. What do I need to be efficient? I want to be focused.
What do I need to do to be more focused? I need to be disciplined. What do I need to do to be more disciplined? Okay? So that's my Friday. Close out the day. Good to go. Let's say I wake up and now it's Saturday. I don't need to be efficient, focused, and disciplined on Saturday. Maybe I've got to take my daughter to dance recital or she's got her dance recital this evening.
My son has a basketball game. And then we have a dinner with the family. I don't really care if we've got a dance recital, a basketball game, and dinner with the family to be efficient, focused, and disciplined. So maybe my words might be, okay, I want to be present. I want to be loving and I want to be fun today. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.
And I put these, once again, I put these words in my phone, in my notes tab, so I can just go back to them and look at them. What was my words today? I know I said I wanted to be present with the family. What else did I want to be? Okay, I wanted to be, oh yeah, loving and fun. And I put these in my notes tab of my phone to continue to keep reminding myself.
And it can be different every single day. What you have to understand with your identity is please like stop being so damn rigid and stubborn. Oh, I'm this person, but you don't understand Rob. I've been this person my entire life. I don't really give a shit. Just be somebody else today. Try it out. Have some more fun. People are so rigid and it's like, it's like the straitjacket.
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