Are you letting your fear of failure keep you from the life you want? Today, I break down why failure isn’t the problem—it’s your fear of judgment. If you’ve been holding yourself back, this episode is for you! Looking for daily motivation? Get free inspirational messages straight to your phone, plus exclusive podcast recommendations and updates on my free workshops so you never miss out. It’s simple: just send "Quotes by Rob" to this link 👉 https://my.community.com/robdial from your phone. Reveal the hidden patterns shaping your choices, habits, and success. Take my FREE Identity Quiz to discover who you really are and how to break through to the next level.Join here 👉 https://www.identityunlockquiz.com/ My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
Chapter 1: What is the focus of today's episode on overcoming failure?
Today, we're going to be talking about failure and how to overcome failure. Let's get real. One of the biggest roadblocks between you and the life that you want, everything that you want, is your fear of screwing up. Your fear, that deep, nagging fear of failure. And it's keeping you stuck in some sort of way. And so what does this look like?
Maybe you hold yourself back because you don't want to make mistakes. And you chase perfectionism, quote unquote, and say you're a perfectionist like it's some badge of honor. Like you should just be wearing a shirt that says, look at me, I'm a perfectionist. Or maybe... You're just scared that somebody will judge you if you mess up. You're scared of other people's opinions.
Chapter 2: How can fear of judgment hold you back from success?
And so you're like, I'm just going to hold myself back because if I do go out there and do the thing that I want and I do screw up in some sort of way, I'm going to hear people's judgments. I'm going to hear people's opinions. And that makes me feel worse about myself. So I'm just going to stay quiet and stay in the background. Does this sound familiar? I hear it all the time.
Whenever I ask people and I get on a live and it's a Zoom call with 2,000 people, I'm like, what's your number one fear that's holding you back from creating the life that you want? 90% of them at least is the fear of failure. And they think they're afraid of failing, but they're not afraid of failing. And that's what we're going to talk about. Here's the... the whole kicker to all of this.
Don't mess it up. That mindset of, I don't want to mess up. I want to make sure I do it right the first time. Whatever it might be is the worst thing that you can do for yourself in trying to become successful or trying to build an amazing life or trying to bring out your full potential. And I'm going to I'm going to share a story with you that really changed my mindset on this.
Chapter 3: What story changed Rob Dial's perspective on failure?
A couple of years ago, I was working on becoming a pilot and I was getting my pilot's license. And that alone is a journey, right? It's an entire journey. You're going to notice all of your fears, all of your limiting beliefs. And one day... My instructor is named Steven, who's an incredible pilot. He's got like 50,000 hours in a plane. He retired from UPS. He was there for 32 years.
He was the head of teaching in UPS. And he taught in all of the pilots that came through and safety and all this stuff. And what we do a lot is we practice landings. And so we'll go to an airport and we'll land and then take off, go back in the pattern, land and take off. We'll do four, five, six, seven at a time. And normally, like I'm pretty good at it. Like I'm really good at landing.
But one day we flew to a different airport and the airport was just way different than the other one that I was used to. So it was a shorter runway. So instead of it being 7,000 feet, This one was only 3,500 feet. So 3,500 feet was half the distance, like the length of it. It was also narrower. So instead of a hundred feet wide, it was 34 feet wide.
So this thing looks completely different in the air looking down than the other one did. And the biggest piece of the whole thing was this airport was built on a hill, meaning that I was not landing flat. I was actually landing uphill. So let me tell you about this. We're coming up to this airport. The approach was good. I lined up the approach. It felt really good.
And then we were coming down and because I wasn't used to just being on a flat landing and I was used to being on a flat landing, this one was uphill. I just like botched the landing completely, like nothing dangerous. It was just ugly. And, you know, so no big deal. We end up taking back off and doing this thing that's called a go round.
And a go round just means, hey, we're going to go back around and we're going to try it again. And I was kind of pissed because like, I don't like screwing up. I don't like quote unquote failing. But Steven, my instructor, he looked at me and he said something that I'll never forget. He said, that was perfect.
He's like, you have to screw these up now and then because you need to know what to do when I'm not here. And it was like, for me, it was like a very jarring moment because, you know, botched the landing, had to go around. It's scary. And for him, he was like, no big deal. He's done this so many times. He's like, that was perfect.
You have to screw up these landings so that you know what to do and I'm not here. And you can't get a perfect landing if you haven't had some imperfect landings. And so this is like the golden rule of learning. Like you have to mess up. And this is why failing is so important. Quote unquote failing is so important for growth, but also to create the life that you want. So let's break this all down.
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Chapter 4: Why are mistakes crucial for growth and learning?
When you make mistakes, I wanna actually tell you why this is so important in the actual psychology and the science and the neurology of failure, okay? Every time you screw up, your brain releases something that's called epinephrine. And epinephrine is just adrenaline that's inside of your brain.
So when you screw something up, when I botched that landing and now I've got to go back around, it releases epinephrine. And this chemical basically is saying, pay attention, buddy. This is really important right now. And so it primes your brain to be even more focused So that your brain can learn faster the next time around.
So we do the go around and we come back around and the landing was pretty good after that one. And I was so much more focused and it felt better. And you have to think about this. The reason I've been trying to think about this in my head of like, why would our brain focus more after screwing up? Why would our brain release epinephrine adrenaline after we screw something up? And I thought about it.
I was like, well, maybe if we're in the wild, let's say we're tribal people 200,000 years ago, and you and I are hunting an animal and we've been tracking this thing for hours and we haven't eaten in two days and we miss a shot at that animal, that mistake really matters.
And so your body and your brain kick into overdrive and it's like, hey, we need to get laser focused for this next attempt because it really matters. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. And so mistakes actually rewire your brain. For me, the one thing that I notice is after every single flight that I have with my flight instructor,
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Chapter 5: How does the fear of judgment overshadow the fear of failure?
I have to drive home with no music on because it's too much. My brain feels like it's really actually repatterning itself. It's way different than driving a car or doing anything else. It's just, there's so many other things and it's my brain's replaying all of the errors and it's adjusting just like it's this mental flight simulator. And every time I go flying with him, the nights,
Those nights after, I sleep like a baby. It's like my brain has to rewire itself in those moments. And so mistakes are really important in these situations. And mistakes are really important for you to, I guess you could say, accept to beat your perfectionism. Because imperfect action is always better than no action at all.
Most people who are perfectionists are not taking any action towards what it is that they want because they're waiting for, quote unquote, the perfect time. Imperfect, quote unquote, perfect waste time. Messing up is what teaches you how to get better faster. And so why are we so afraid to fail? Like I really want to call out the elephant in the room here. Why are so many people afraid of failure?
Why are we afraid of failure? The elephant in the room is not the fear of failure. It's the fear of judgment. You worry that people will think that you're incompetent. You worry that people are thinking you're going to stupid. You think that you're stupid.
You're worried that people are going to give you their opinions and they're going to shame you and they're going to make fun of you or whatever it might be that you put in your head. You imagine these worst case scenarios that almost never happen. But the truth is most people are too busy to even pay attention to you. And that's for all of us. Most people are not paying attention to me.
They're too busy thinking about themselves to even pay attention to me. They're too busy with their own insecurities. They're too busy thinking about their own failures and things that they're afraid of, to even notice us. And so that's why it's important for us to realize That more than anything else, it's not about us trying to be perfect. It's not about us trying to get away from failure.
It's not about us trying to fear failure. It's about us accepting it as like the most important part of success, in my opinion. Like you cannot have success without failure. You cannot have failure without success. There are two sides to the same coin. And so what can we do to kind of have ourself get a little bit more used to it?
Because it's kind of the way I find failure and getting used to failure and getting used to screwing up is that you kind of got to start small. You got to dip your toes in the water. And so what I would recommend is like fail small, pick something like really low stakes and just screw it up on purpose and realize it's not that big of a deal. Try a new hobby.
Go pick up basketball and look like an idiot. And then go to a gym that you've never been to before and you'll never go again. You'll never see those people ever again in your entire life. Go play pickleball at some place you've never been to and look like an idiot. And then you'll never see them ever again as well. Who cares? Go screw it up. Test something that you're curious about.
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