The Action Catalyst
REMASTERED: Facing Entrepreneurial Fears, with Christy Wright (Business, Sales, Persistence, Boutique)
Tue, 23 Jul 2024
Author, speaker, business coach and podcast host Christy Wright defines “mom guilt”, explains what women in particular intuitively know about business, why more is caught than taught, why the antidote to fear is action, and why to always make the easiest win your first step.
Most people believe fear is a sign you're doing something bad. It means it's a red flag. If I was supposed to do this, it would be easy. I wouldn't be scared. But I would say the opposite is true. Fear isn't a sign you're doing something bad. I think it's a sign you're doing something bold.
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Facing your entrepreneurial fear. That's what we're talking about on the show today. We have Christy Wright on the show to talk about overcoming that fear of starting something new. And so we're just excited to have her talk about starting a business or any endeavor. Christy, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.
This book, so Business Boutique, it's called Why Targeted at Women Directly.
That's a great question. And it's interesting because I was raised by an entrepreneur. So my mom started a business when I was 6 months old to raise and support me. So I was literally raised in the business at times. We would go there at 2 and 3 in the morning for her to bake early. And so I have countless memories of this cake shop. And it really is the backdrop to my childhood.
And so I have memories of her pulling me out of bed and going to the bakery to bake. And I'd go to... She'd actually make me a bed on her big, huge bags of powdered sugar and flour. And I'd go back to sleep. When it was time to go to school, I'd go to school with the smell of flour in my hair.
And I would always get money out of the cash drawer, which it's no surprise that her bookkeeper hated me because cash never balanced. But I was a typical child of an entrepreneur. I was always there. And that was really my first introduction to business. And from there, I pursued a degree in business in college and then started my own side businesses throughout my career.
I've always been a go-getter and a doer and a mover and a shaker. And so I would have my career working for nonprofit, but I had these side hustles, these side gigs. And what I've noticed is now we really live in a side gig economy. where there are over a million Americans working as freelancers or independent workers. So many people have these little side jobs or side hustles.
And so I noticed there's an opportunity to come alongside women specifically and help them with the business side of things. Because while pursuing what you love can be incredibly rewarding, the business side of things overwhelms a lot of people. How do I market myself? Or how do I stand out in the competition? And how do I sell without feeling slimy? Or how do I manage my time when I'm a mom?
And one of the things I've noticed is as women, we really approach business uniquely. Because as you know, we're wired differently as men and women. The book is a step-by-step plan to start, run, or grow your business. But in the book, I cover all the issues that women need to understand in order to grow a business. But for example, I never talk about customer service.
There's not a single chapter in the book on customer service. And here's why. Women intuitively take care of people. You don't have to tell a woman, be kind, super serve, go above and beyond. She naturally is very relational and she is great at empathizing. And so she's fantastic at customer service. I don't need to teach that.
However, because women are so relational, things like selling or pricing yourself or talking about your product or setting boundaries or policies makes her feel uncomfortable. And so I spend a lot of time on how to sell.
So let's talk about the selling part. Selling without feeling slimy. So why do you think they feel that way? And what are some of the things that you can do, woman or male, who has that resistance?
Sure. Well, I think for me, I have noticed that everyone probably has been burned by a pushy salesperson, someone that didn't do it well. And so because they've had a bad interaction, whether that's a used car salesman that totally tried to take advantage of them or been interrupted and bullied by someone in sales, it frames their perception of sales.
So they have this idea that sales equals pushy, aggressive, having an agenda, taking advantage of someone, taking their money. And they use all these words to describe it when in fact, sales is really about serving. And so what I do is I spend a lot of time reframing this idea of sales for people.
Because if you can redefine it for them and show them what sales truly is, then they can sell with confidence. So for example, sales is influence. So influence... Influence is simply making an impression on someone, leading someone to a great result. So if you're married, then you influence someone to spend the rest of their life with you. That's a big sale.
If you got your kids to eat dinner last night... The thing is, we're really in the business of influence. And one of the things I've noticed is that I'm in the business of sales. And so I stay on stage all the time telling people how to reach their goals and how to build their business and how to have more life balance. And you know what no one ever says to me? That Christie Wright.
She's so pushy telling me I should reach my goals. Why? Because I'm not selling. I'm just influencing. And when you believe in your product or your service or your business, you realize it really is about serving and taking care of the marketplace. Because when you're meeting people's needs... and you're solving their problems, the sale is natural.
But we focus so often on the pushy side of things that we hold back and we don't even ask for the sale. Many people don't have sales simply because they aren't asking.
Right. One of the things that you talk about specifically in Business Boutique that caught my attention was this phrase, mom guilt.
Yeah. And I'll tell you, I had an experience, I guess it was about two years ago. So when my son Carter, I was dropping him off at daycare for the first time, which if you end up taking your kids to daycare, just know it is a traumatic day. And you are a basket case. And you're leaving them in the arms and the care of someone else. And I was leaving daycare that day just feeling so guilty.
The daycare, by the way, is exactly like one-tenth of a mile from our office. So this child is right next to me. He's perfectly safe. I was just overcome with guilt and feeling, what if he needs me? What if he's scared? What if he's sad? What if he cries? What if... And I felt really, honestly, God say to me in that moment, Christy, I want you to remember that what you're doing is important.
And I felt God saying what I was driving to, which I was driving to work. And what's interesting is it shifted my perspective because I think as parents and as business owners, it's very easy to look in the rearview mirror of our life instead of the front windshield. So we're always focused on what we're leaving behind.
Oh, I feel... When we're at home, I feel guilty I'm not getting enough done at work. So we got our email open and we've got our phones on and we're always thinking about where we're not. And then... When we go to work, we feel guilty we're not with our kids. We're not at home. We're missing out on soccer games. So I just want you to shift your perspective.
Realize that both things that you're doing, your work and your family, are very important. And you love them both very much. And that's okay. That's a good thing. But the best way to shake the guilt is to focus on wherever you are. So if you're at work, be there. Bust it. Make a difference. But you're at home...
put your computer down, look your kids in the eye, put your phone away and be present there. So wherever you are, be there. And for me, that has been a game changer because you are looking through the front windshield instead of the rear view mirror. And I love how my friend Tony says it. He says, I'm always driving to somewhere that I love.
When I'm driving to work, I'm driving to somewhere that I love. And when I'm driving home, I'm driving to somewhere that I love. And it really is about looking where you're going, not focusing on what you're momentarily leaving behind.
Hmm. That's strong. Do you think there's value to kids seeing their mom work?
Yeah, I totally do. And here's what's interesting is I think it really comes down to whether you're working a full-time professional job in an office, like maybe some of your listeners are, or you're working part-time, or you're just using your gifts in some way at home, even if you're volunteering. If you're doing something outside or in addition to...
of your responsibilities as a mother, as a parent, as a dad. I think there is incredible value in your kids seeing you use your gifts. And for me, my mom, for example, growing up, my mom did not teach me work ethic and character and perseverance and persistence and resilience. She lived it. And I live it as well. More is caught than taught.
And it's so powerful when you live in your strengths, when you use your gifts, when you do something that is contributing to the world, whether that's through volunteering or through your job or your business. It is an unbelievable example to your children that is more powerful than anything you could teach.
So my argument is for women or for men is you're not harming your children by working hard. It doesn't make you a bad parent. In fact, I think it makes you a better parent. And Meg Meeker has a fantastic quote. She says, the most powerful way to teach a daughter how to enjoy life is to let her see her mother do the same.
So what does that look like for you in terms of using your gifts and doing work or doing things that bring you joy? And like I said, I don't think it makes you a bad parent. It makes you a better parent. It doesn't make you selfish. It makes you smart. And you are going to raise children that have those qualities because you live them out as well.
My mom, her story of the cake shop was a story of struggle. I certainly didn't have a Pinterest perfect childhood sleeping on flour and sugar bags. But that is the story that made me. The struggle didn't hurt me.
Mm-hmm. When you actually go to start the new thing, what are the obstacles that we should expect to hit?
Okay. I'll tell you for me and my research, but also in my personal experience is the number one thing that you will experience that will hold you back is fear. The number one thing. Now, when you're in the workplace, it may be a different type of fear and that voice of fear might be a little bit different.
So for example, when you're doing your own business, if you had a side business or small business that you want to start, the voice might say something like, who are you to do this? Someone's doing it better. There's no room for you in the marketplace.
Now, when you're in a work environment, a professional environment, and you want to launch a new project, or you want to pitch an idea to your leadership team, then the voice might say something like, everyone's going to make fun of you. What are people going to think? Who do you think you are to try to lead this? Someone else is already in that position. That's not in your job descriptions.
So the voice might say something different. I want to be clear there. Depending on the situation that you're in, the root of the problem is the same. You're going to experience fear. And fear is very normal anytime that you're doing something new. You're going to have fear creep up and it will torment you with these terrifying possibilities of what's going to happen if you do it.
You're going to fail. People will make fun of you. You're going to be embarrassed. You're going to post something on Facebook and no one's going to like it. You're going to be a fool. And so when this fear gets really loud, that's where most people get stuck. Because most people believe that fear is a sign you're doing something bad. It means it's a red flag. So you should turn back now.
If I was supposed to do this, it would be easy. I wouldn't be scared. But I would say the opposite is true. Fear isn't a sign you're doing something bad. I think it's a sign you're doing something bold. And I think that is a good thing. And even very, very successful people are scared.
Many successful people that are well-known celebrities and athletes have suffered from the imposter syndrome, which is the syndrome that says, who are you to do this? You don't deserve to be here. People like Maya Angelou, Kate Winslet, Michael Jordan, talk about this fear of failure, this fear of not being good enough to do the thing that they're doing.
And so I just encourage people, the antidote to fear is action. The best thing you can do when you're scared is to take action, is to step into that fear. I tell people all the time, don't wait until you're not scared to do the thing you want to do. Do it scared because that feeling may never come. I've been scared plenty of times, but I still walk on the stage even though I'm scared.
So what is that that you want to do? Is it a project you want to launch? Is it a new initiative at work that you want to lead? You want to raise your hand and say, I think it's time for me to lead this thing. Is it starting... Growing a team from the ground up? Maybe pitching a really big client at work? Maybe it's starting a side or small business.
Whatever that thing is, don't wait until you're not scared to do it. Do it scared.
So when you come to actually starting a business, there's all of these things that suck. Taxes, insurance, hiring people, firing people, all of this stuff. If that's holding someone back, what would you say?
It's interesting because I think the whole business side of things really intimidates a lot of people and keeps them from starting businesses. You feel like before you've started a business that that stuff, the insurance, the taxes, represents probably 90% of running a business. But the reality is... it represents about 10%. Now granted, it's a very important 10%.
But the majority of your time, the 90% day-to-day, it's doing interviews, writing blogs, serving customers, making sales. It's doing the fun stuff, which is why you got into business. Now, certainly you need to take care of the business side of things. You need to keep your records. You need to have insurance. You need to pay your taxes. Those things are very, very important.
But what I would say for people that are intimidated by that, is if you can, just get help in those areas. You're not expected to be an expert in everything. But there are probably people around you on social media, in your church, in your community, in your neighborhood, that if you just simply put a word out like, Hey, do you know anybody that can help me with this?
And that's true for anything that you're weak. I tell people again and again, in business, but also in leadership for your listeners that are working in a company, in a career, you are going to be the most successful in life, regardless of what type of work you do. You will be the most successful when you stay in your strengths.
And so how that plays out is you're going to be the most successful, but you're also going to have the most fun when you do what you're good at. So for all of the areas that you're weak, especially in business, just ask for help. Find people around you that can support you. My husband is incredible with details.
So he helps me with the organization of things and the follow through and covering all the basis things I wouldn't even think about because I'm a creative. I'm a big idea person. So surround yourself with people that are strong in areas that you're weak and then you can stay in your strengths and those people get to stay in their strengths as well.
It's interesting because if fear can get so loud and terrify you with these possibilities of what will happen and then you stay stuck and you never do anything, then you continue to believe that story that you're telling yourself like, Oh, I couldn't do it because it was so big. It turns into this excuse that you justify being stuck.
But the truth is, and that's the reason I say, the antidote to fear is action because the best way to make that fear shut up is to do it. Then fear can't torment you with these terrifying possibilities. What will happen if you do it? Because you did it and you survived. And it's the best way to make fear stop taunting you is when you actually just step into it and do the thing anyway.
So if somebody is out there right now and they are listening and maybe they have some dream and they have that fear, what is the first action that you would tell them to take?
I would say find out what the quickest win is for you and your business and your idea. So the lowest hanging fruit. So for example, if you want to have a huge online community, you've got this big dream and you want to have a big blog and all that stuff. Don't get overwhelmed by this big, big idea. Write one blog. Let's say you want to launch a huge boutique storefront.
Don't get overwhelmed by all of that. Just sell one product. Make one sale, write one blog, do one speaking event. What is the thing for you that's the lowest hanging fruit? Because if you take that one step, I mean just one step, that's all you have to do. One baby step. That win will fuel your confidence to take the second step, which will fuel your confidence to take the third step.
And then baby step after time, months and years later, you're living your dream and you're at that final vision. But the truth is, it just happened by taking that first step. So whatever that is for you, figure that out. Your quickest win, your lowest hanging fruit, take that step that will fuel your confidence to keep going.
Well, my friend, so good to spend some time with you. Christy Wright is who we're listening to. Business Boutique is the name of the book. Christy, thanks for all the work that you do there and that all y'all do as a team. Thank you for having me.
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