Whether it’s micromanaging playtime, constantly hovering or incessantly texting, the adult takeover of childhood has created a crisis of anxiety in both children and parents, says Lenore Skenazy, cofounder and president Let Grow, an organization dedicated to normalizing childhood independence. With wit and humor, she lays out the unexpected benefits of letting our kids be a bit more “free range” — and shows why the most teachable moments happen when parents aren’t there.For a chance to give your own TED Talk, fill out the Idea Search Application: ted.com/ideasearch.Interested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links:TEDNext: ted.com/futureyouTEDSports: ted.com/sportsTEDAI Vienna: ted.com/ai-viennaTEDAI San Francisco: ted.com/ai-sf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Full Episode
You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas and conversations to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. As a mom of three, I know how hard it is to find the balance between wanting to protect my kids and letting go so they can make mistakes and learn on their own.
In her talk, journalist Lenore Skenazy makes the case that letting our kids be a bit more free range or giving them more independence instead of micromanaging their every move helps build resilience and actually eases both parents and children's anxiety. Enjoy.
I am here to talk about parenting, which is kind of weird because if you Google America's Worst Mom, you find me there for 22 Google pages, followed by America's Worst Mother's Day Gift, which, guys, a lot of you here, we don't want an iron and lingerie is for Father's Day. So how do you get a name like that?
Well, years ago, when our younger son was nine, he started asking me and my husband if we would take him someplace he'd never been before, in New York City, where we live, and let him find his own way home by subway. So we talked about it, me and my husband, who you never hear of as America's worst dad. And we decided, sure, why not?
Long story short, I wrote a newspaper column, Why I Let My Nine-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone. And two days later, I was on the Today Show, MSNBC, Fox News and NPR. Fox News and NPR. OK? Kind of wild. And I realize that a lot of you would not make the same decision, obviously, but you should have seen our son. He came into the apartment levitating. He was so happy.
So I want you to think back for just a second on something that you absolutely loved doing as a kid, maybe flashlight tag, building forts. And now I want you to raise your hand if your mom knew exactly where you were. Okay, it's an older crowd here. Sorry. It is usually the younger people who raise their hands because that's what's changed.
In fact, that's what I wrote my book about, free-range kids. For the last generation or two, kids have been getting so little time on their own, so little time unsupervised. And of course, some of that's good. You know, togetherness is good. Kids need a strong bond. But, you know, too much is driving us all crazy. There was the Surgeon General report from 2021, which a lot of you probably saw.
It said that kids are more depressed and anxious than ever, right? And then he came out with a report like two years later, and it said parents are more depressed and anxious than ever. I'm like, yeah, because we need our space, right? The olden days were not perfect. But back then, there were three worlds that were absolutely perfectly balanced.
There was the kid world, filled with, you know, bikes and adventures and playing. And the adult world, so boring. People were always talking about politics and who was having a procedure. A lot of polyps, polyps, polyps, polyps. And then there was... Then there was family world, where everyone was together, like on vacation or at dinner.
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