Author, speaker, and above all, father, Chris Cochran, shares the equally tragic and uplifting story of his son Christian and how he's carrying on his son's legacy through the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, the way acceptance leads to gratitude, why to make To-Love lists instead of To-Do lists, and the one universal thing we all deal with.
Legacy means a lot of things to a lot of people. To some, it's lasting integrity. It's building and maintaining a history of greatness. It's making an impact on people and community. For others, it's dependable security and assurance in an uncertain time. To us, it's all of that and more. It's a mindset, a brother and sisterhood of hardworking people dedicated to doing the right
Let's talk legacy.
Welcome to Let's Talk Legacy. I'm your host, Gary Michaels, and today we're really excited to have Christopher Cochran on. Chris is an author, a speaker, and above all, a father. As the founder of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, he works to carry on his son's legacy, promoting Christian's humility, kindness, joy, gratitude, self-sacrifice, selflessness, courage, and unconditional love for all.
And I really believe we're going to learn a lot more about his son and a lot more about Chris in the next little time we have here together. So welcome to the show, Chris. Thank you, Gary. It's a pleasure to be here. Love your show. Thank you. So let's start right there. Tell us a little bit about Christian. What type of a man was he? What was he like?
What kind of effect did he have on others around him? Tell us a little bit about your son.
wow how much time you have uh listen christian was the most amazing remarkable there's no earthly terms and earthly words i can come up with to describe christian to the full extent right he had deep love for his fellow man and woman and and all people all cultures all religions all everything in the end of course he's my son i love him dearly i i tend to speak to him as he is in the presence
But Christian was an amazing individual just from the day he was born to the moment he took his last breath. And I was with him at both events. Since he was a child, he was show compassion for others. It was an unusual trait. Even before 13 months, he was speaking in full sentences. which was pretty unusual. I knew this kid was destined for something special.
He had this incredible ability to see the goodness in everything. Even when he was little, he was a very, we called him Mr. Comforter all the time because he could comfort us even as adults. He can make us feel good. He did that for other children. I remember the first day of school getting on the bus. You know how kids clamor. They want to get on the bus. They want to get the best seat.
They want to be in whatever with their best friend. Christian was always making sure he was the last person on the bus because he wanted everyone to be happy to have what they wanted on that bus. And as a young adult, he was incredibly talented. The prom king in school, a big school here in Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh. He was the lead actor in every drama. He was in every play and every musical.
And he had been in a movie, in a Batman movie. He was kind of on track to do the things he wanted and was going to head to L.A., graduate from college. And he felt a pain in his back. We had just come back from a vacation out in Vegas, Christmas in 2020. And we had a beautiful time as a family. And this pain just came up and just thought it was normal. He was a healthy, young, good-looking boy.
Eventually, the pain became so bad that we had a blood test. told to go see a CT scan. This was during COVID, so I was asked to go meet at the doctor's office. Six people came in white coats. Their faces were covered with masks. I could only see their eyes, but I knew at that moment, I kept reassuring Christian as we arrived, it's going to be okay. Things are going to be fine.
We'll be back to our regular life. And they immediately came in and said, Christian, you have a grapefruit-sized tumor.
on your liver at this time we didn't know exactly what it was at that moment what kind of cancer bio duck cancer it's a less than one percent chance of of living you're lucky if you live six months so christian was given a terminal diagnosis i remember as parents we were heartbroken and we said we're so sorry christian that you have to deal with this he said it's okay
I would never want this on anyone else. I want this to be my burden. He said, I am so grateful to you guys. He never complained one time. The moment he got his diagnosis to the day he took his last breath, he never complained one time. All we cared about was everyone else around him and how to lead a good life for the remainder of his life.
That's why the title of the book is What's Good About Today is because when we would cry and we would say, you know, how horrible this was for us and him and the family, he would say, no, what's good about today?
And it was his daily reminder about all the good, all the beauty you can find in a day, even in the worst of circumstances, when things are not going your way, you can find nuggets of goodness and beauty in every single day. So it was, you know, obviously a tough day, a tough year, a tough every day. But through all that, that's where we found the strength of Christian.
You know, he exemplified this incredible strength and goodness that, to me, that's why I had to tell the story. Believe it or not, the foundation came up prior to Christian's death because I knew he was going to pass. Was it Christian that came to you and said, Dad, I want to start a foundation?
So, yeah, Christian, prior to Christian's passing, we had these conversations as a father you don't want to have with your 22-year-old son. But we would talk. But Christian was very conscious of it all and would say, you know, Dad, how are we going to – take care of those who are less fortunate. Christian was big into how to help others.
So he said, it'd be great if we could build something to help those in areas where there's poverty areas, things that Christian cared about. His legacy, and it is called the Christian Cocker Legacy Fund through the Pittsburgh Foundation, was built based on Christian's ideals of where he wanted to help people. It was low-income areas, the kids who were struggling in school.
We give to animal resources. We give to parks and natural resources. There's all kinds of camps we give to. It was Christian's idea. Christian came to us with that idea and said, you know, this is what I'd like to do. We do a tremendous amount of work in something called YASU, Young Adult Survivors United.
That's where a lot of the effort goes in to help those young adults who are stricken with cancer. It's an underserved area. But those young adults who are really just they came out of their shell, they're ready to take on the world. None of a sudden they get hit with this. And what I found is that those individuals have less resources. Right. They're no longer attached to their parents.
They're on their own. They don't have the money. Christian would give to everybody. So we only have so many resources that we can give to, but we're also implementing what's good about today in lesson plans, which I think to me is extraordinary in terms of the legacy fund and what we're trying to do is to help spread that. how kids can come in in the morning, you know, what's good about today?
They write down what's good about today. At the end of the day, they erase that. Next day, they start over. But it allows teachers to identify those kids who are having problems in their day and those who are doing, you know, really well. But it also gives kids an idea of what, you know, look, there is lots of bright things in the day.
What did you learn from the time you got diagnosis he was able to live? What did you learn from that that you could share with others?
Well, I learned mostly that it's about giving all of yourself to others, right? I always say there's kind of this pre-cancer Chris and there's kind of after cancer Chris. I don't even identify with the guy pre-cancer. My mind was in a different mindset. It was all goal related to achieve, keep up with the Joneses, all those crazy, wacky things in this world we have to deal with.
But I think what it taught me is to reflect. It taught me, Christian taught me how to pause. Pausing is so important. The stillness of life can really help you refocus your energy, help you refocus how you approach everyone, can help you how you react to someone. It's truly remarkable. And that's how Christian lived it. Christian never stopped living. Nothing stopped. He got a full-time job.
We knew what we were up against, but Christian wanted to serve an example to everyone. Now, he did it for, I think, four months before his body started to take a toll on him. He loved the idea that we could venture into areas to try to solve this problem for others. It was part of his journey. We always say, make someone laugh, someone happy, make someone smile.
Christian was always about those three things.
The main mission of the Christian Cochran Legacy Fund, is it specific to the underserved in this space, or is it all different causes? Does it change? Is it a moving target? Yeah.
I think it's a moving target. So we don't focus on any one specific thing. Sometimes it just comes to us. A lot of the things that we do come to us because they hear the story of Christian. So it happens if I do podcast or writing the book. Our mission is truly about getting that language out. What's good about today?
I believe that if every person could simply wake up in the day, the end of the day, and say, what's good about today? And really take the time for yourself and think that out and realize that the sun's on my face. I'm able to take a long walk. If I can't take a long walk, I interact with my son, my daughter, my wife, or a friend. There are so many things on our day that are good.
They far outweigh the bad. And so I think that's just a mind shift. You know, the interesting thing is Christian, he didn't have to-do list. He had to-love list. And he kept those. That's how he managed his life and who you love. I think that's all the way of the foundation is set up too is they're not so much to do's. They're all about to loves.
And how do we put more love out there to places and help?
Well, attitude of gratitude is so huge. How do you use your gratitude for everything you've learned? How can others try to look at the glass of water half full?
There's no simple answer to that one. Life is difficult. It's hard. I do a couple things. Here's where I found a useful tool for me. When I was going through those difficult times, there's a couple things I came to accept. One is I can't control my circumstances in life, right? I'm not in control of that. People think they're in control. They're really not that in control. Right.
So Christian's passing and what he had to go through and what we learned. And for me, what I learned is I can't control that. But I think practically, yes, gratitude is great. How do we put that in practice? And so that's why, you know, the book is, of course, what's good about today, a purpose driven life. The book, in many ways, is a roadmap to how to lead a purposely driven life.
I'm still trying to lead that purposely driven life. But I think once we live with acceptance, we strive for optimism, remain humble, even in the face to despair, we are lunging forward. We are actually moving to better ground. I think when you check on others, you nurture others, other human connections, stay living mindfully all the time. And I think a big thing is strive for empathy.
Honor your connections, show love, open your heart. Christian always used to say to me, Most of all, don't take life too seriously. And so there's plenty of things. I think the other thing, negative thoughts come into our brain all the time. I'm sure they do for you too. And I still have those things. I have flashbacks to these particular moments.
whether it was at the end of Christian's life, all kinds of different things in between, which he was surrounded by his loved ones in his house together. I karate chop those things. I karate chop everything that comes into my head that puts me in a place that's negativity. That's the point of finding purpose too, right? We're all seeking to find purpose in this life, right?
Some of us haven't found it yet. We're We're on that constant merry-go-will of just trying to make things happen. But I think pausing is important because pausing really allows me to meet life with grace and see beyond pain and find peace. gratitude in the present. That space, you can genuinely find really great things. I can get down, but I get back up really fast.
So I think it's a matter of pushing yourself through these things and understanding, of course, to be grateful, of course, but pausing to understand in your daily life.
For sure. And I just wanted to spend a little time on that gratitude stuff because that sounds like so much where your head's at and who Christian was. You know, our show, everything's about legacy and legacy is such an important thing. What does legacy mean to you?
Legacy means love. It means the love you want to continue to put out into the world. So I hope that I can continue to do what I'm doing so that I could leave a legacy. I think leading by example is part of a legacy fulfilled because I've switched gears, right? I'm a corporate CEO. I sit on the board for a public company. I'm busy on that side, but does it really bring me passion? Mm-mm.
What brings me the most passion is to build legacies where it's filled with love and the gratitude, right? And so I think creating random acts of kindness, whether it's to strangers, loved ones, that's, I think, what legacy is all about.
The pay it forward stuff, all those little things that giving without even needing to be acknowledged for giving, right? Absolutely.
Absolutely. I mean, I think that's the greatest form of giving, right? The greatest form of giving is to give without asking for anything in return. A lot of times, you know, when I first got started in the Legacy Fund and Christian Cochran Legacy Fund and all this stuff, I was just wanting to bring awareness. Now, this awareness has done amazing things, right? I have people down in Tennessee.
I have people in Florida that... heard the story and said, can you get me? You know, we have wristbands that say what's good about today. We have stickers, things like that. I just get them and I want people to have them. You know, I want them to constantly be reminded of and they go to festivals and they set up stands on their own. I'm not even a part of this.
So there's people who who who are doing things with that message on their own, which is great. I'm all for it. So to me, that's all part of the legacy. It's about and it's to build a legacy. You got to connect the dots.
You got to connect the dots to other human beings, because without connecting to humans, you're not going to be able to to generate the opportunities to talk to more people, talk about good things you can do. So I think legacy to me is just that, spreading the message. Love is first and foremost. How do you extend that love to so many and share goodness and how they can share goodness as well.
What are some of your partners in the fund and how can listeners get involved?
Sure. So I partner with YASU, which is Young Adult Survivors United. YASU is for short. The fund is through the, like I said, Christian Cochran Legacy Fund through the Pittsburgh Foundation. You can probably Google Christian Cochran and you'll get all kinds of information on my son. And there's christiancochran.org, which talks about, of course, Christian, the Legacy Fund, the foundation.
It talks about Christian and talks about all the goodness that we're doing, events that we're involved in, where we sponsor, where we try to get out and see the community. So to me, we're still in the grass. Christian just passed away three years ago. So it's still very raw in a way. We're still just trying to get our name out there to do the good works.
And certainly if your audience, if there's anyone thinks that this will be a good message, certainly reach out to me and you can do that personally anytime, anytime.
So in a lot of this that we talked about today is covered in your new book, What's Good About Today? Purpose Driven Life, inspired by Christian Cochran. Tell us a little bit more about the book and specifically about how you came up with that title.
The book was something that I started about a year and a half ago. And when I say started, it's sort of putting my head together. I was just coming out of one year being with Christian's passing. And I'm a writer. I like to write. Not necessarily I'm a great writer per se, but But I write a lot of journaling. I'm a journaler.
So during the course of Christian's sickness, every day I sat and I journaled. And I wrote what I was feeling. Good thoughts, bad thoughts. It was a way for me to escape. Many times these were going on between midnight and 4 o'clock in the morning. I didn't think I slept much during that first year at all.
And it was just this whirlwind of trying, of course, to save Christian's life first and foremost. Because I learned so much in that process of RNAs and DNAs and sequencings. And how to figure out how we can solve this terrible cancer.
It literally went back to about a year and a half ago, taking those journals, compiling them, reviewing them, which was not a fun task for me because it was bringing back everything to life, how I felt during those times. But I knew I had to do it. I knew that it was important to bring purpose. to Christian's passing. And then I decided to tell a story.
And there's people have asked me, they said, what's your book about? What's this all about? Is it your son dying of cancer? No, no. See, this is a book of love. It is a love story. That's what this book is about, is about telling people that, yes, you can be resilient. One universal thing that we all deal with is grief. It's universal. We're all going to experience it.
We're all going to be one day at those moments in our life. But it really is, how do you navigate life so that you can come out on the other side and leading this purposely driven life? So the book has just been a cathartic process. And ultimately, following the guidelines of Christian, I didn't write this book. Christian is always the star. He always was the star.
I always think of myself in the background, kind of just painting a picture and looking at things. And so I tell the story that's inspired by Christian as how he solved the world. I think that's how I envisioned writing the book. That's how I wanted people to see it. But I certainly wanted them to come away with hope, gratitude, and a lot of love.
I love it. I love it. If someone wants to get involved in your organization, what would they do and how would they contact you?
So they can get in contact with me two ways. There's christiancochran.org and then there's chriscochranspeaks.com. That's me. And you can find all my information there. You can find the book there. Certainly, if anybody needs more information, they can get it there for sure.
Awesome. Well, I really appreciate your time today, what you're doing in memory of your son and to help others. Touches my heart.
Thank you, Gary. Thank you to you and your staff. You guys are amazing. Privileged. And this is honestly what's good about today. So I am very blessed and I'm very thankful for the opportunity to speak to you. Really am.
All of you guys, I'll just leave it at this. Make it a great day. What's good about today?
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