How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to NEVER Run Out of Things to Say: The 7 Best Banter Topics to Instantly Attract Women
Tue, 04 Mar 2025
Do you ever struggle with what to say to women—either in person or when trying to craft the perfect text? Dating coach Connell Barrett gives you the 7 Best Banter Topics so you can keep conversations flirty and free-flowing. Whether you’re talking to her in person or messaging on your phone, just reach for one of these foolproof topics for instant banter. And you don’t need to be naturally witty. These simple tips will work for any guy! Plus, you’ll learn the Playful Pivot, a powerful technique that takes your banter to a masterful level.Highlights of this Episode:03:20: The 7 Best Banter Topics to Never Run Out of Things to Say04:47: The Words She’s Dying to Hear from You09:17: The “Desert Island” Question that Ignites Instant Attraction11:44: The Storytelling Trick that Makes You Charismatic16:47: The Topic That Sparks Playful, Engaging Conversations17:35: The “What If” Question that Makes You Different from Other Guys19:45: The Playful Pivot—How to Master Flirty Banter and Become IrresistibleGet ready to attract women effortlessly with great banter. Listen now.WANT TO TAKE YOUR FLIRTY BANTER TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL? BOOK A FREECALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:www.DatingTransformation.com
Chapter 1: How can you avoid running out of things to say with women?
Women want the real you, not some fake persona. And let me ask you a question. Do you ever run out of things to say with women? You're on a date and you're just not sure what to talk about. Or you approach and you don't know what to say. and there's a long, awkward silence. Or maybe you're texting, and you're like, what the heck do I write to this girl? What do I say? What do I do?
And what can happen is if you don't know what to say, if you don't know where to take a conversation, then you end up losing her. She loses interest. She goes and tries to find a guy who is better at flirting, better at banter, better at talking. Well, if you've struggled with that, I'm going to help you with that today.
I want to make sure that you never ever again run out of things to say with women. The way we're going to do this is I'm going to teach you the seven best banter topics Seven best topics for bantering. What do I mean by banter? Just means light, fun, playful conversation. The kind of conversation that women are aching to have on dates or by text or when you chat her up at a party.
So this is for all parts of dating and especially first dates. But it could be the approach. It could be a text exchange on a dating app. I'm going to give you seven really simple topics that are perfect for light, flirty banter. And this allows you to emotionally connect authentically. You don't have to memorize anything. You don't have to plan scripted things.
And this will help you never run out of things to say. And always know what to say. All right? So let's get to it. Oh, and in the last five, seven, eight minutes of today's episode, I'm also going to teach you a technique that I call playful pivoting, which allows you to
bounce back and forth between multiple topics in a way that makes a woman feel uh flirted with it makes you a really compelling conversationalist and it just helps to bring those really good fun flirty feels to a date that a woman wants so i'm going to give you this these seven great banter topics and then i'm going to help you
flirt with them, and kind of weave back and forth between them, like bob and weave, like a boxer, basically. And this is going to be great. I think you're really going to enjoy this. So if you're good at conversation, you're about to become great at conversation with women.
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Chapter 2: What are the 7 best banter topics to keep conversations flowing?
If you're not good, if you're in your head, if you're shy, if you're introverted, if you're not sure what to say, you're about to become good. Eventually, great. So here we go. Let me talk to you about the seven best banter topics. I'll run through them really quick, and then we'll go through each one step by step. Banter topic number one, hobbies and interests.
Banter topic number two, food and drink. Topic number three, travel and adventure. Banter topic number four, pop culture, TV, movies, music. Banter topic number five, funny stories from her youth and from your youth. Banter topic number six, pet peeves and hot takes. And banter topic number seven is, I call this fun what ifs, fun hypotheticals. Basically, think like would you rather.
Okay, those are the seven best banter topics for a first date, on text, any conversation with women. Let me run through them, take a couple minutes for each one. I'll show you exactly how to use them. And the best thing about knowing these seven best banter topics is you don't have to plan anything. You get to be spontaneous. in the moment, present.
And that is going to be your most attractive self to women. So here we go. Let's take a little slightly deeper dive on each of these seven. Number one, hobbies and interests. People love talking about what they're into. So when talking to a woman, especially when you're just talking to her for the first time, ask her this question. What do you love to do for fun? What lights you up?
Chapter 3: How do hobbies and interests enhance your banter skills?
She's going to love talking about her hobbies or interests. You might ask this question. If you were going to go on America's Got Talent, what would your skill be? Now we're talking about secret talents. This is a fun, light, bantery way of asking her what she's into.
And by the way, for any of these questions that I'm going to share with you to ask a woman, be ready to answer these questions yourself. okay, lead that dating dance. Go first. You can say to her, oh, you know what? If I was going to be on America's Got Talent, I would definitely play guitar or I would show off my breakdancing moves or my salsa moves. What about you?
What would you do if you went on that show? So talking about hobbies and interests is a great bantery topic. And the nice thing about these topics, all seven of these, is you don't have to be super witty. You don't have to be the world's funniest, wittiest, cleverest guy. If you are, that's a great bonus. You don't have to be, though.
If you just stick to these topics, the banter, the light, fun banter, basically takes care of itself. Okay, banter topic number two, food and drink. Talk about food and drink. Ask her what her favorite food is. Ask her what her least favorite food is. On my first date with my now girlfriend, Jess, we talked about how much she hates ketchup. We talked about how much I hate mushrooms.
We also talked about baking, things she likes to bake and cook. She's Italian, Italian heritage. She comes from an Italian family. We talked about Italian food, talked about the drinks we were drinking. So just talking about food. I dated a woman once for a while. And I remember our text exchange for the first one or two days we were texting before we even met for our first date.
A wonderful woman named Adriana. I remember we talked about bagels for 20 minutes by text or 10 text messages or so. So talking about food and drink, it's a very light topic. So one of my favorite questions to ask on a date or talking to a woman is, hey, what's your favorite go-to snack besides me? Right? And now you're talking about snacks. You're talking about food and drink. Very light topics.
Okay. Topic number three that's great for banter. Travel and adventure. Travel and adventure. So absolutely be ready to ask a question like, I'm curious, what was the single greatest vacation you've ever had? Don't ask... too many logical, boring questions, like informational questions, like, oh, where did you go last year? Where have you traveled last? Where are you going next? That's OK.
It's better than not talking about travel. But you want to infuse these topics with some emotion. So you might say, hey, what was the greatest trip you ever took? Or what trip would you love to take? Where are you aching and dying to go? If you want to get really flirtatious, you could say, hey, I'm curious.
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Chapter 4: Why is discussing travel and adventure a great banter topic?
if you and I were going to transport magically, teleport to any place in the world right now together, where would you have us go? Now you're asking her a fun, what if question about travel that puts you and her together in her mind. And that helps to have her see you as a partner of hers, not just asking her logical information about travel. So travel adventure, great topic.
I love asking, where do you most want to go? What's the craziest, most hilarious, weird story that ever happened to you while you were traveling? And have your own answer for this as well, assuming you've done some traveling.
So if you have that crazy story about the night you went to, the night you danced on the table, got drunk on sangria in Spain, whatever your version of that is, be ready to share your story. Give her a window into you and your life. So that's another great topic, travel and adventure. By the way, let me pause as I count down or count up this list. You don't have to talk about all seven.
You don't necessarily have to talk about all seven on a date, for example. I'm just giving you seven options here. You can actually talk about all seven, but you don't have to. Okay, the best banter topic number four, pop culture, TV, movies, music. Ask her, I can't tell you how many times on a first date I asked a woman, hey, what's your desert island TV show? Or what's your desert island movie?
What movie could you rewatch over and over and over again? I had a first date with a woman named Raquel. Raquel I did improv with. Raquel's a big Beatles fan, like I am. And for our first date, all we did is talk about Beatles music and improv comedy. She and I belong to the same improv theater together. And all we did was banter about pop culture, Beatles, some literature, movies.
And then I said, hey, do you want to come over to my apartment, hang out some more, play some Beatles tunes? She's like, sure, let's go. And the night ended very well with myself and Raquel. I'm not bragging. I'm just saying it can be that simple. Just banter about music. And let me pull back here. Why does this work? Why am I talking about banter?
Why is this going to be something that's going to help you get a great girlfriend? It's because think about a woman and what she's used to experiencing with most other men or just in her day. She finishes her day. She just finished a two-hour Zoom call. She was bored to death. Her boss was a dick. The last two or three guys she had dates with, they were just weird.
They talked about themselves the whole time. Or they talked about Bitcoin. If you want to get friend zoned, talk about Bitcoin. Guaranteed friend zone. And then she meets you. And you're this guy who's having a light, breezy, fun, authentic conversation about movies, about travel, about that fun thing that happened on your trip. You're asking her good questions about her.
Oh, dude, she's going to love you. That's why I'm talking about banter. Also, women just like the feeling of, hey, let's get out of our logical, stressed mind. Let's have some fun. It's a date. That's what flirting is about. It's about play and fun. Okay, best banter move number five, funny stories from your youth or her youth. Ask every woman this question on every date going forward. Here it is.
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Chapter 5: How can pop culture ignite fun conversations on a date?
What were you like as a kid? Tell me a little bit about young Jessica. What was she like? What were you like in grade school? Were you a dork? Were you a nerd? And of course, share how you were in grade school too. Open up a little bit and share a fun, funny story from your youth. I have a funny story that I've shared for Halloween one year in grade school. I dressed up for Halloween.
You know that day of school where everybody dresses up as something and you go to school? Halloween dress-up day? I got up dressed as a clown one day. Big floppy shoes, big red nose, my big fake red afro over my real red afro. And I go to school and I have the wrong day. I'm off by one day. Everybody's dressed normally, and I am dressed like a clown, like Krusty the Clown.
And I'm sitting in math class. I'm sitting there in history class, and I'm in my big clown outfit with my horn. Honk, honk. It was so funny. It was so embarrassing, but I'm laughing at it now. Anyway, whatever your version of that story might be, funny stories from your youth, great fun topics. You're being vulnerable. You're getting to know the real her and the real you this way.
Banter topic number six, pet peeves and hot takes. A really fun way to banter and click with a woman you just are talking to is to talk about pet peeves. It's a great way to bond. It's okay to be, don't be a negative person. Don't be a negative, dark entity on the date. But you can have strong opinions about things that you don't like.
On my first date with Jess, my girlfriend Jessamyn, she went off on a hilarious rant about how much she hates ketchup. And we both talked about how much we hate jogging and how all joggers should be imprisoned. Kiddingly, of course. And so, yeah, we had those, just cracked a lot of jokes about things.
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Chapter 6: What are some effective techniques for playful banter?
So a good question or a good topic to bring up is you could ask your date or ask a woman you're texting or five or 10 minutes into a conversation at a party, you're just bantering. You could say, hey, what's your least favorite food? What food do you hate? I've told many women how much I hate mushrooms. I hate mushrooms with a white hot passion.
I hate mushrooms, just like my girlfriend Jessamyn hates ketchup. You could ask her, what little things annoy the fuck out of you? And here's a bonus kind of advanced banter tip, but this works so well if you really commit to it, is have really fire-breathingly strong opinions about something trivial and stupid. And this becomes hilarious. You have to commit to it, though. Here's what I mean.
You know what I really hate? I'll do it for you right now. You know what I hate, dear listener? You know what I fucking hate? People who sit behind me on the plane who grab my seat back when they stand up and they pull my seat back. Ugh. I hate these people. These people are worse than Joseph Stalin. They should be thrown out of the plane. They're so awful. How dare they?
The FAA should ban people like this from flying. So I go off on a really overly heated rant. And what makes it funny is that I'm ranting about something so stupid and trivial. It's just so dumb. I don't really hate these people. I'm just being absurd. And so that's a bonus tip.
If you want to talk about a pet peeve, if you really want to lean into it, it can be really funny to talk about how much it annoys you. And you're showing a real glimpse of yourself, right? Part of what gets guys stuck in the friend zone is just like everything's positive, everything's happy, everything's great. You're wearing this insincere Pollyanna mask.
And don't get me wrong, that's better than being negative. But if you're just like, yay, everything is nice and happy, That can be kind of bland to women. And by bitching and moaning about small little things like the seat back guy, that shows a little glimpse of realness. It shows that you're not just saying things to try to impress her. You're being really real.
And yeah, so my girlfriend and I, we talked about how much we both hate math. on our first date. And we really connected about it too. And it was really fun. So pet peeves and hot takes. That's a great topic. So you could just straight up ask her, what little things annoy you? What annoys the hell out of you? Jessica, I'm curious. And she might go off on a funny rant.
And you can banter about that. You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there. But I escaped.
Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend.
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