Zeth Burton

Let's see, close to two years now. Two years. Where at? Mostly now in Los Angeles, but I started here in Dallas.

Let's see, close to two years now. Two years. Where at? Mostly now in Los Angeles, but I started here in Dallas.

What brought you here? Well, it's my mom's birthday this week, so I came for that, and I was like, you know what, let's drive three hours to, you know, let's do this, right?

What brought you here? Well, it's my mom's birthday this week, so I came for that, and I was like, you know what, let's drive three hours to, you know, let's do this, right?

25.

25.

And what do you do for work? Oh, I work at... I give tours at a movie studio. Okay. Yeah. And how long have you been doing that for? About two years. I got the job immediately as I moved out there. Okay.

And what do you do for work? Oh, I work at... I give tours at a movie studio. Okay. Yeah. And how long have you been doing that for? About two years. I got the job immediately as I moved out there. Okay.

Oh, yeah. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Oh, yeah. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Yeah, I can. There you go.

Yeah, I can. There you go.

She bought me some boots, and she also took me to a Rangers game. And then, yeah, yeah, they suck. But I also, I mean, I paid 200 bucks to get over here. So I was kind of like the big gift for her.

She bought me some boots, and she also took me to a Rangers game. And then, yeah, yeah, they suck. But I also, I mean, I paid 200 bucks to get over here. So I was kind of like the big gift for her.

It's probably the worst flight I've ever experienced.

It's probably the worst flight I've ever experienced.

Oh, no. Well, you see, like, whenever there's turbulence, sometimes people don't really understand what that means. What does it mean to you, Zeth? Um, well, because whenever I'm on a flight, I'm just picturing I'm going to die when I'm on the flight. Just in my head, I kind of, like, view, like, if the plane's going to crash, I don't know it's going to crash.

Oh, no. Well, you see, like, whenever there's turbulence, sometimes people don't really understand what that means. What does it mean to you, Zeth? Um, well, because whenever I'm on a flight, I'm just picturing I'm going to die when I'm on the flight. Just in my head, I kind of, like, view, like, if the plane's going to crash, I don't know it's going to crash.

So I just assume that's going to happen.

So I just assume that's going to happen.

So anything that happens, I'm just ready to die. Like, you know, I don't, like, I don't have... Keep going, yeah. I have... I have a lot of regrets, but when you die, you die. No one's going to tell you when it's going to happen, so it's going to happen when it happens. So have you ever died? I mean, there was one time I thought I was going to die.

So anything that happens, I'm just ready to die. Like, you know, I don't, like, I don't have... Keep going, yeah. I have... I have a lot of regrets, but when you die, you die. No one's going to tell you when it's going to happen, so it's going to happen when it happens. So have you ever died? I mean, there was one time I thought I was going to die.

Well, my goal is to be a comedian, believe it or not. But, you know, I've, uh... I used to be really fat, like I said, so I always want to own my own gym someday. Do that. And, uh, outside of that, I'm really... I ain't got no ambitions outside of that.

Well, my goal is to be a comedian, believe it or not. But, you know, I've, uh... I used to be really fat, like I said, so I always want to own my own gym someday. Do that. And, uh, outside of that, I'm really... I ain't got no ambitions outside of that.

300?

300?

Probably like the whole belt right here. Like, it had those stretch marks over my stomach. Like, I still got, I still got, like, the stretchy skin right here. I got my whole arms are all stretchy.

Probably like the whole belt right here. Like, it had those stretch marks over my stomach. Like, I still got, I still got, like, the stretchy skin right here. I got my whole arms are all stretchy.

That's why I show my arms.

That's why I show my arms.

You have? Yeah, my high school. I went to high school with somebody named Zeth, yes. And his brother's names are Zack and Zane. My brother's names are Zack and Zane. Wow.

You have? Yeah, my high school. I went to high school with somebody named Zeth, yes. And his brother's names are Zack and Zane. My brother's names are Zack and Zane. Wow.

I mean, every time I saw it, I just felt like I was going to shit my pants on that plane. So a 10? I'd probably say a 10. Can I do something for you? What's that? Does that turn you on? Yeah, yeah.

I mean, every time I saw it, I just felt like I was going to shit my pants on that plane. So a 10? I'd probably say a 10. Can I do something for you? What's that? Does that turn you on? Yeah, yeah.

Well, recently I was in Burbank, and, you know, look, it's pretty intense over there, I guess, but not really. It's pretty what over there? Intense. In what way?

Well, recently I was in Burbank, and, you know, look, it's pretty intense over there, I guess, but not really. It's pretty what over there? Intense. In what way?

Yeah, I do, actually, yeah.

Yeah, I do, actually, yeah.

Well, generally it's not, but, like, I went over there once. I was over there at, like, 11 p.m. at night, and, you know, yeah.

Well, generally it's not, but, like, I went over there once. I was over there at, like, 11 p.m. at night, and, you know, yeah.

This guy pulled up in his car and he asked me to come over to it. He said, hey, come over to my car. So I came over to his car. And he showed me this, he showed me on his phone, he said, my girlfriend's been kidnapped, and he's scrolling through the sex trafficking website she was on, and then he showed me,

This guy pulled up in his car and he asked me to come over to it. He said, hey, come over to my car. So I came over to his car. And he showed me this, he showed me on his phone, he said, my girlfriend's been kidnapped, and he's scrolling through the sex trafficking website she was on, and then he showed me,

Pitbull in his passenger seat, he's telling me that his family's been replaced with clones, and that his landlords were placed, the Armenian and Russian mafia were after him. His hand was bleeding, and the whole time I'm just trying not to laugh, because I feel like if I did, he was going to kill me. Because he was, what, seven foot three? Yeah, he was. He was seven foot four, actually.

Pitbull in his passenger seat, he's telling me that his family's been replaced with clones, and that his landlords were placed, the Armenian and Russian mafia were after him. His hand was bleeding, and the whole time I'm just trying not to laugh, because I feel like if I did, he was going to kill me. Because he was, what, seven foot three? Yeah, he was. He was seven foot four, actually.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right, how are we doing, everybody? Yeah? You know, I'm pretty tall. I come up here, I'm 6'5", you know, 200 pounds. You see any ladies out there. But anyway, so I hit about 6'5", 200 pounds. I was 12 years old. And, you know, no one really tells you, like, that's... You deal with a lot of stuff.

All right, how are we doing, everybody? Yeah? You know, I'm pretty tall. I come up here, I'm 6'5", you know, 200 pounds. You see any ladies out there. But anyway, so I hit about 6'5", 200 pounds. I was 12 years old. And, you know, no one really tells you, like, that's... You deal with a lot of stuff.

Like, I was, like, my nickname's, like, Saggy because I have saggy nipples, you know, like... Okay, you can laugh. It's fine. They call me Shrek, my football team, you know? And no one tells you, but as soon as I hit 12 years old, no one wanted to molest me anymore, man. It was over, you know? God. All right, this is a comment. Oh, God. But, oh, man. You know? But I'm from Texas.

Like, I was, like, my nickname's, like, Saggy because I have saggy nipples, you know, like... Okay, you can laugh. It's fine. They call me Shrek, my football team, you know? And no one tells you, but as soon as I hit 12 years old, no one wanted to molest me anymore, man. It was over, you know? God. All right, this is a comment. Oh, God. But, oh, man. You know? But I'm from Texas.

Give it up for Texas, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, let's chill out, okay? Yeah, like, growing up in Texas, high school's a lot different out here. Like, we didn't bring anything but a car to school days, so they're showing up in horses and tractors. And, you know, in career days, they're showing up in white hoods and crosses, you know? It's pretty crazy. I love it, man.

Give it up for Texas, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, let's chill out, okay? Yeah, like, growing up in Texas, high school's a lot different out here. Like, we didn't bring anything but a car to school days, so they're showing up in horses and tractors. And, you know, in career days, they're showing up in white hoods and crosses, you know? It's pretty crazy. I love it, man.

Oh, I mean, no, I... Oh, shoot, okay.

Oh, I mean, no, I... Oh, shoot, okay.

Oh, I was just saying, like, you know, when I was 15, we had, like, gun safety classes because they wanted to get to those school shooters early, you know? But they wish they had gotten me, though.

Oh, I was just saying, like, you know, when I was 15, we had, like, gun safety classes because they wanted to get to those school shooters early, you know? But they wish they had gotten me, though.

I mean, you know, like, dogs and stuff, you know?

I mean, you know, like, dogs and stuff, you know?

I stole a shoe from a dog. It mounted me, man, and it just, like, just totally, like, kept it tight so it penetrated me, man.

I stole a shoe from a dog. It mounted me, man, and it just, like, just totally, like, kept it tight so it penetrated me, man.

I mean, hey, like, I saw, like, there was another girl, like, who she was, like, I was gonna save her shoe, you know? Like, we were 12 years old. I was like, oh, this is it. And she, I couldn't, you know, there's no risk to get, like, if she watches me.

I mean, hey, like, I saw, like, there was another girl, like, who she was, like, I was gonna save her shoe, you know? Like, we were 12 years old. I was like, oh, this is it. And she, I couldn't, you know, there's no risk to get, like, if she watches me.

Let's see, close to two years now. Two years. Where at? Mostly now in Los Angeles, but I started here in Dallas.

What brought you here? Well, it's my mom's birthday this week, so I came for that, and I was like, you know what, let's drive three hours to, you know, let's do this, right?

25.

And what do you do for work? Oh, I work at... I give tours at a movie studio. Okay. Yeah. And how long have you been doing that for? About two years. I got the job immediately as I moved out there. Okay.

Oh, yeah. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Yeah, I can. There you go.

She bought me some boots, and she also took me to a Rangers game. And then, yeah, yeah, they suck. But I also, I mean, I paid 200 bucks to get over here. So I was kind of like the big gift for her.

It's probably the worst flight I've ever experienced.

Oh, no. Well, you see, like, whenever there's turbulence, sometimes people don't really understand what that means. What does it mean to you, Zeth? Um, well, because whenever I'm on a flight, I'm just picturing I'm going to die when I'm on the flight. Just in my head, I kind of, like, view, like, if the plane's going to crash, I don't know it's going to crash.

So I just assume that's going to happen.

So anything that happens, I'm just ready to die. Like, you know, I don't, like, I don't have... Keep going, yeah. I have... I have a lot of regrets, but when you die, you die. No one's going to tell you when it's going to happen, so it's going to happen when it happens. So have you ever died? I mean, there was one time I thought I was going to die.

Well, my goal is to be a comedian, believe it or not. But, you know, I've, uh... I used to be really fat, like I said, so I always want to own my own gym someday. Do that. And, uh, outside of that, I'm really... I ain't got no ambitions outside of that.

300?

Probably like the whole belt right here. Like, it had those stretch marks over my stomach. Like, I still got, I still got, like, the stretchy skin right here. I got my whole arms are all stretchy.

That's why I show my arms.

You have? Yeah, my high school. I went to high school with somebody named Zeth, yes. And his brother's names are Zack and Zane. My brother's names are Zack and Zane. Wow.

I mean, every time I saw it, I just felt like I was going to shit my pants on that plane. So a 10? I'd probably say a 10. Can I do something for you? What's that? Does that turn you on? Yeah, yeah.

Well, recently I was in Burbank, and, you know, look, it's pretty intense over there, I guess, but not really. It's pretty what over there? Intense. In what way?

Yeah, I do, actually, yeah.

Well, generally it's not, but, like, I went over there once. I was over there at, like, 11 p.m. at night, and, you know, yeah.

This guy pulled up in his car and he asked me to come over to it. He said, hey, come over to my car. So I came over to his car. And he showed me this, he showed me on his phone, he said, my girlfriend's been kidnapped, and he's scrolling through the sex trafficking website she was on, and then he showed me,

Pitbull in his passenger seat, he's telling me that his family's been replaced with clones, and that his landlords were placed, the Armenian and Russian mafia were after him. His hand was bleeding, and the whole time I'm just trying not to laugh, because I feel like if I did, he was going to kill me. Because he was, what, seven foot three? Yeah, he was. He was seven foot four, actually.

Thank you.

All right, how are we doing, everybody? Yeah? You know, I'm pretty tall. I come up here, I'm 6'5", you know, 200 pounds. You see any ladies out there. But anyway, so I hit about 6'5", 200 pounds. I was 12 years old. And, you know, no one really tells you, like, that's... You deal with a lot of stuff.

Like, I was, like, my nickname's, like, Saggy because I have saggy nipples, you know, like... Okay, you can laugh. It's fine. They call me Shrek, my football team, you know? And no one tells you, but as soon as I hit 12 years old, no one wanted to molest me anymore, man. It was over, you know? God. All right, this is a comment. Oh, God. But, oh, man. You know? But I'm from Texas.

Give it up for Texas, everybody. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, let's chill out, okay? Yeah, like, growing up in Texas, high school's a lot different out here. Like, we didn't bring anything but a car to school days, so they're showing up in horses and tractors. And, you know, in career days, they're showing up in white hoods and crosses, you know? It's pretty crazy. I love it, man.

Oh, I mean, no, I... Oh, shoot, okay.

Oh, I was just saying, like, you know, when I was 15, we had, like, gun safety classes because they wanted to get to those school shooters early, you know? But they wish they had gotten me, though.

I mean, you know, like, dogs and stuff, you know?

I stole a shoe from a dog. It mounted me, man, and it just, like, just totally, like, kept it tight so it penetrated me, man.

I mean, hey, like, I saw, like, there was another girl, like, who she was, like, I was gonna save her shoe, you know? Like, we were 12 years old. I was like, oh, this is it. And she, I couldn't, you know, there's no risk to get, like, if she watches me.