Toussaint Douglass
Appearances
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
So, yeah, I'll probably be leaving a lot of the history to John, but I'll chip in every now and then, I'm sure.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
It sounds a bit like a dance that the couples on Strictly would do like week nine, you know, like Blackpool week, you know, because it's quite technical and it's a lot of hip action to it. Do you know what I mean? Like the Grand Remonstrance dance. It just sounds really nice to say as well. Grand remonstrance. It's just a really nice name to say.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Why did he choose Nottingham to declare war? Is it because it already looks like a bit of a battlefield? No, I'm joking. I really like Nottingham. I've got a long history with Nottingham. I went to uni there. It's really good. Some fond memories. My first mugging was in Radford, so I really like Nottingham.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Oh, that is a good question. I think before this, I would have gone Parliament because I'm a man of the people. And also, I'm just, I'm not a king. So, but... To be honest, I'm not going to lie, Parliament, they do seem a bit like Jobsworth's, like a little bit like, you know what I mean?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Like 2am Grand Remonstrance thing, the 19th... You know, if I got that in my intro, I'd be like, mate, do one, please. All right, we've heard it before. God, just chill out. So I think I might go Charles. I think I'm royalist. It just sounds a little bit more fun.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Oh, boo-hoo. It's so hard for the king. Oh, boo-hoo. I mean, he was a king in the 17th century who thought he was chosen by God. So let's not go too heavy on the feel sorry for him bit. You know what I mean? Now we've swapped sides. Yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Thanks so much for having me again. So much fun. Thank you.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
I'm going to go with no. He didn't have the greatest dad modelling in what he should be doing. So I'm thinking he's more of the same, Greg.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
This is Radio 4, right? I'm going to say no. No.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
What does high church involve? What would that be in like church?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
What you're saying here is that one of the key reasons that caused Britain to plunge into civil war was a disagreement over interior design. Is that what we're saying here?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Oh, now we're getting into the nitty gritty subcommittee. Here we go. Subcommittee, that's what he wants.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
I love the idea of just the messenger just outside the door. Like, I can hear you. I know you're in there. Just open the door. Like, this isn't cool, guys.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
This guy doesn't sound like a long and stable ruler, so I'm going less than five, five years.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
He managed to pull it off for 11 years, really.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
It's a bit because of his name, isn't it? Come on, let's...
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Was he also drunk as well, though? Because I feel like just bowing isn't enough to make you fall over. Unless he was really top heavy on his head. I've got quite a big head sometimes. I feel like I've been hitting the communion wine a little bit, surely.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
All right, thanks so much for having me, Greg. You also forgot to mention that, just like John, I also have a connection with Kellogg's. I had cornflakes this morning, so I'm also very academic myself. I'll leave it to him mostly, but just to say that I dipped my toes in some milk, so yeah, don't worry.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Not the sexiest heist, I'll be honest. No. Stealing stacks of grain. A bit more ambitious. Go for the gold. Do you know what I mean? You get all the grain you want and then some with gold. Just stealing grain. You can only have grain. Grain only gets you grain.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
No. It's always boiling tar, isn't it? It's never kind of lukewarm tar. Like, it always has to be bubbling, doesn't it, the tar? I feel like tar in itself is enough, but for some reason, people who use tar, it's always got to be 100 degrees, you know, boiling point. It's curious, that, to be honest.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
20 years? What? This guy is so random. If I was a parliamentarian, I just wouldn't know where I stand with him. Do you know what I mean? I just want clarity from Charles. I feel like he's like, are you into me? Are you not? You keep pulling me up and then you keep breaking up with me. Come on, what's our relationship status here? 20 years, wow.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Yeah, well, he was one of my heroes. So someone I, yeah, and also I did study kind of American history at uni a bit. So I had a little bit of a help there. This one, not so much. When you told me about the British Civil Wars, I did think it was like a British version of like the Marvel kind of film, the Civil War film. So I'm not sure if it's going to be that or not, but that's my starting point.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars (Radio Edit)
Good on Parliament. Yeah, they found their self-worth after all that being messed about and actually like, you know, good. I'm glad.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I love the idea of just the messenger just outside the door, like, I can hear you. I know you're in there. Like, just open the door. Like, this isn't cool, guys. Come on, you're like, what am I going to tell the king? I've got to go back to him.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
This guy doesn't sound like a long and stable ruler. So I'm going less than five. Less than five years.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
He managed to pull it off for 11 years. What did he do? Did he just lock the door as well? He just changed the locks of the door? Is it just all down to the door? Whoever controls the door controls the country. How did he do 11 years?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
If I needed a quick three billion, I think I would just draw my face onto a piece of paper and just say that's three billion. He's the king. Isn't that what money is?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Thanks so much for having me, Greg. You also forgot to mention that, just like John, I also have a connection with Kellogg's. I had cornflakes this morning, so I'm also very academic myself. I'll leave it to him mostly, but just to say that, you know, I dip my toes in some milk.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It's a bit because of his name, isn't it? Come on. I know we're Radio 4, but it's a little bit because of his name.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Was he also drunk as well, though? Because I feel like just bowing isn't enough to make you fall over. Unless he was really top-heavy on his head. I've got quite a big head sometimes. But I feel like he must have been hitting the communion wine a little bit, surely.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
So anti-Puritan sports.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So obviously you've got like main sports like egg and spoon race. So is it like... that but with like the communion cup nice egg is just in the in the cup and you're just you're just running with that i've no i've no idea i've seen no idea greg i love the idea of a sort of child's sports day like you know primary school what sort of sports and activities are we talking about
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yeah, well, he was one of my heroes. So someone I, yeah, and also I did study kind of American history at uni a bit. So I had a little bit of a little bit of a help there. This one, not so much. When you told me about the British Civil Wars, I did think it was like a British version of like the Marvel kind of film or something like that, the Civil War film. So that's my starting point.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Is it though? I've seen a bit of Morris dancing. Is it angry? I'm not quite sure. They've all got copies of... Just furiously flicking their ankles with the bells.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
There's a cost of living crisis, but surely it's not affecting the Puritans, is it? They must be saving loads of money. They're not doing anything with their time. They're just indoors, just reading the Bible. They're not spending any money, are they?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
To rally them?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Oh, right, OK. This sounds very... Yeah, what do they steal?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
So, yeah, I'll probably be leaving a lot of the history to John, but I'll chip in every now and then, I'm sure.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Not the sexiest heist, I'll be honest. No. Stealing stacks of grain. A bit more ambitious. Go for the gold. Do you know what I mean? You get all the grain you want and then some with gold. Just stealing grain. You can only have grain. Grain only gets you grain.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
No. I mean, it's always boiling tar, isn't it? It's never kind of lukewarm tar. Like, it always has to be bubbling, doesn't it, the tar? I feel like tar in itself is enough, but for some reason, people who use tar, it's always got to be 100 degrees, you know, boiling point. It's curious, that, to be honest.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
We're not there yet. No.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I would like it to be near some bishops.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
That's embarrassing, isn't it? That's embarrassing, seeing your mum on the beach. You go, oh, lads.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I'm going to go with two years.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
20 years? What? This guy is so random. If I was a parliamentarian, I just wouldn't know where I stand with him. Do you know what I mean? I just want clarity from Charles. I feel like he's like, are you into me? Are you not? You keep calling me up and then you keep breaking up with me. Come on, what's our relationship status here? 20 years, wow.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Good on Parliament. Yeah, they found their self-worth after all that being messed about and actually like, you know, good. I'm glad.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It was a slog. So I'm hoping this podcast is a little bit less like that. But yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It sounds a bit like a dance that the couples on Strictly would do like week nine, you know, like Blackpool week, you know, because it's quite technical and it's a lot of hip action to it. Do you know what I mean? Like the Grand Remonstrance. It just sounds really nice to say as well. Grand Remonstrance. It's just a really nice name to say.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Why did he choose Nottingham to declare war? Is it because it already looks like a bit of a battlefield? No, I'm joking. I really like Nottingham. I've already alienated Portsmouth. I don't want to lose Nottingham. I've got a long history with Nottingham. I went to uni there. It's really good. Some fond memories. My first mugging was in Radford, so I've got a lot of... I really like Nottingham.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Oh, that is a good question. I think before this, I would have gone parliament because I'm a man of the people. And also I'm just, I'm not a king. So, but to be honest, I'm not going to lie. Parliament, they do seem a bit like jobs worse, like a little bit like...
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
you know what I mean like 2am grand remonstrance thing the 19 you know if I got that in my entry I'd be like mate do one please alright we've heard it before god just like chill out you know what I mean so I think I might go Charles you know I think I'm going to I think I'm going to I think I'm royalist yeah It just sounds a little bit more fun.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Oh, boo-hoo. It's so hard for the king. Oh, boo-hoo. I mean, he was a king in the 17th century who thought he was chosen by God. So let's not go too heavy on the feel sorry for him bit. You know what I mean? Now we've swapped sides.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It's so dense. It's just so much. It's so interesting, but there's so much to it, isn't there? Yeah, there is.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It is. Well done.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
He was assassinated.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
By a croissant. Maybe. We don't know. It's not in the history books, but we're thinking it might have been.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
OK, this sticks in my head because it was quite a long time, to be honest. 11 years.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yeah, she was in the Marvel films. No, no, I'm joking. I'm joking, Greg. I've learned something. Don't worry. She was a grain thief. Yeah, she could have gone gold, but she went grain, so...
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Oh, Lord. Yes, I can. It was Lord.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yeah, I'm going to have to say this one very carefully, Greg, because I know this is a respectable podcast. I've also got a little bit of a lisp, like speech impediments, so I'm sweating it a little bit. Ship money. Ship money. That is my final answer.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yes, the shin wars, the shin kicking, was it?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Was that the bishops? Yes.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Hang on, I'm sensing a thread here.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Yeah. Brilliant lesson. Thank you.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Thanks so much for having me again. So much fun. Thank you.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
That's very Middle England activism though, isn't it? I'm putting a fence down. This is my fence and I'm making sure it's level actually.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I'm going to go with no. I'm going to go with he didn't have the greatest dad modelling in what he should be doing, so I'm thinking more of the same, Greg.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
This is Radio 4, right? I'm going to say no.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I'd probably still say no because my mum listens to everything I do.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I quite liked monage. I think you should have rolled on. I think monage could catch on.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I feel like he probably doesn't. I feel like the only way probably someone like that gets back into Parliament's good books is if they get to like, I'm not, I think, you know, above board, lawful, but yeah, a bit of punishment probably might help them. I don't know.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Why did they assume it was a... Did he have a croissant in his hand?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I mean, I feel like the guy's first mistake was going to Portsmouth, right? I mean, that's where he went wrong. Why go to Portsmouth? Lots of other really good... No offence to Portsmouth, but I've been there quite a few times for gigs and other places.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
What does high church involve? What would that be in church? What does it look like?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
So what you're saying there is that one of the key reasons that caused Britain to plunge into civil war, one of the most monumental and influential moments in our history, was a disagreement over interior design. Is that what we're saying here?
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
It doesn't get more British than that, does it? No. Someone just fighting over where the table goes. Yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
I'm not quite sure it's memeable, no. I don't know who that would be for, to be honest, apart from Parliament.
You're Dead to Me
Causes of the British Civil Wars: Royalists versus Parliamentarians
Oh, now we're getting into the nitty gritty. Subcommittee, here we go. All right. Subcommittee, that's what you want.