Tom McCarthy

Yeah.

And then one of the big things that really changed my life was when I understood or when I learned that you can choose how you feel.

The outside event is going to happen.

But we all have, like you and I could have the same thing happen to us and you would go, wow, thank God, like that really moved me in a good direction.

And I could still be sitting here going, you know, gosh, darn it, that's so unfair.

Why'd that happen to me?

It's not the thing that happens that really determines whether it has value or not.

It's your way of looking at it, your way of perceiving it.

And it is very easy to be a victim.

I mean, there's so many shows on TV that you watch, victim this, victim that, people blaming.

I think we're in a time right now where so many people are pointing the finger at other people and trying to say, you're the reason I'm not successful or you need to change, I'm fine.

And when we truly take responsibility, it's not easy.

It's so much easier to be a victim.

So that's the challenge.

But when you go against the grain and you just say, look, I take responsibility for anything that happens to me and I'm going to use it in a way that makes me better, your life changes and you become powerful.

And what my book was about is how do you shift reality?

You shift reality by taking responsibility.

And when you do that, reality starts to bend in the direction you want it to.

And I have a quote in the book that, and I do this on my emails too, average conforms to reality.

Oh, that's bad.

Everyone says it's bad.

Yeah, that's bad.

That's average, right?

Greatness creates a whole new reality.

What I like to do is when you focus on

a result.

At the beginning of the year, we should say, not just my intention to fix some part of me, but what do you want to create?

What do you want to create in your life?

Stop focusing on what you want to fix.

Nobody's broken here.

And so what I like to do at the beginning of the year is come up with

three, usually three or less, but big things I want to do during the year that would really be fun for no other reason that other than I just want to create that.

I would love to create that.

Not because I'm broken.

I need that to feel better about myself.

But then you focus in on that.

And then when you focus in on it,

You visualize it, right?

You use your imagination.

Einstein said the imagination is a preview of coming attractions.

And so you just get in and you go, I really love creating this.

I see it, I feel it, I believe it.

And then you start to notice, is there a part of you that's not in love with it, like really going for it?

Even though it's really cool, there's part of you that,

might not have the level of self-esteem and the subconscious like, oh, you know, I don't know, this must, it might be too much or I'm not deserving or it's too hard.

And when you start to feel that, then you know that's what you need to go in and start working on with the subconscious.

The subconscious mind is tapping into what are you really seeing?

What are you visualizing?

Are you seeing yourself fall short

Are you seeing yourself enjoying it and really now having this amazing thing that you've created?

What does it feel like?

Do you feel confident?

And the other thing you have to notice, is the subconscious in love with what you want to create?

If it's not, you won't get it.

So you've got to do some reprogramming of the subconscious.

I've got three big ideas in the breakthrough code.

One is you've got to focus on less and then obsess.

But I really want it to be more of a subconscious obsession.

I want you to train your subconscious to naturally be looking for answers and actions and things like that.

The second thing you've got to do

And by the way, the way that you do that is you see it, feel it, and believe it a couple times a day.

You see it, so you're visualizing it.

I actually like more the word you're imagining it.

Like I'm imagining myself in this.

And sometimes I talk myself through it.

I'm imagining myself accomplishing this and loving this and having so much fun doing this.

So that might be helpful versus just trying to see it, see it, see it.

Some people say they can't visualize.

So imagine, imagine it.

Just say, I'm imagining it.

And then that kind of takes the stress off having to see it so clearly.

You're just imagining it.

And then you're feeling it.

And then the next step is you've got to upgrade your story to upgrade your life.

So the way you think about who you are, what you're capable of, that's an action you have to take.

You've got to say, all right, what...

What part of me has to die in order to create space to create an upgraded version of me or a new version of me, the version that I want to move forward with?

We want to stay the way we are but have our life get better.

It doesn't work that way.

If you want to advance and create more, the old part of you can't do it.

Now, here's the good news.

You're under no obligation to be the exact same person you were five seconds ago.

You can shift, you can change, takes courage.

And also the subconscious mind will fight to stay the same because it's trying to protect you.

Don't wander off too far, Mari, stay the way you are.

Come on, it's great.

But we wanna create, we want to do more.

So we've got to let part of us die

Right?

Part of our personality, not part of your body, but part of your personality, part of the way you think, part of the way you view the world has to go away in order for a new part to come in.

And then after you've done that,

Then you've got to take effective action.

You've got to pack your day with effective action.

So if you and I work, let's say, eight, nine hours in a day, but you are twice as, and we're trying to get the same thing, but you're twice as effective with your actions, like they're really moving the needle, and you're even doing some things that you don't necessarily...

love, at least right now, you probably will love them later, but you're doing some things that I'm avoiding because I don't want to do that, right?

But you're doing it, but we're still only working the same amount of time.

You're going to get there twice as fast.

I might not even get there.

Absolutely.

Yeah, we always revert back to our identity.

You know, back when I was working with Tony Robbins, there were studies that we were looking at that would watch people or that would observe people when they were losing weight, trying to lose weight.

And most people will lose weight when you try to lose weight.

You lose a little bit, sometimes you lose a lot.

And then typically what happens

If you do not change your identity, is you revert back to your identity.

I'm a person who overeats, right?

I'm a person that doesn't like working out.

So I love, and same thing with cigarette smoking, right?

Or when you're smoking, like if you are a smoker who's trying to quit, if you see yourself as an overweight person who's trying to lose weight,

You will lose weight and you'll probably quit smoking, but then eventually your willpower is not strong enough to fight against your identity.

You just will lose that battle.

That's when we say upgrade your story.

We're talking about upgrading your identity, who you see yourself as.

I love what you did.

I'm an athlete.

And you know what?

When you first said that, your body was probably, or your subconscious mind was probably BS.

You're not an athlete.

But then you've got to keep at it.

And you've got to stick to that story.

Most people will start out, okay, I'm an athlete.

I'm an athlete, like two days, three days.

They say most people, when they set intentions for the year, by the second week of February, gone, like the majority.

Yeah, because they had this intention, but the intention didn't match the story of who they really thought they were.