Tom Bodett
Appearances
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
There was a cop right there eating and he didn't believe me. Biochemist Andrea Michaels says, this particular spandex synthetic fabric not only disintegrates instantly on contact with boysenberry syrup, but also erodes any other fabric the combination has contact with. It's a phenomenon we've never encountered before. Not that many people use the boysenberry syrup.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
The Prescott, Arizona Methodist Church pancake prayer breakfast had several exposures that included Arizona State Legislator Quang Nguyen and Pastor Paul Matlock. I didn't even want boysenberry syrup. It was the only one not being used, claims Pastor Matlock.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
You can tell it's not hard for him at all. He's just trying to get you off his back.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Um, the star comes and lives with you for a weekend.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Yeah, there's a reach. You know, even like when a celebrity comes out with their own, right? You know, you're like, okay, did they go in the lab and make that? No. Did they like take scrapings from them and make it? No. You know, I remember when Cher first, she was one of the first celebrities to have her own scent. And I just, it just always irked me somehow.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
I just, you know, I like Cher, but I don't want to smell like her necessarily.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Well, like what they all do, they just put you in an endless loop of options until you reach the one that says, or you can check our website at hp.org, and you won't waste your entire life listening to these options unless you'd like to start again, press 8.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Oh That is so low life, right? I really know what there's God, you know, if we still prosecuted people for crimes, they should be prosecuted
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Layering. Oh, layering your antiperspirant? Yeah, your deodorants, yes.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
I'm so glad this is just catching on. After raising three teenage boys and going through those periods where the house is just a cloud of complex carbon molecules, Axe body spray, and just trying to imagine that mixed with the old spice.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Yeah. Peter, you got a little something on your head.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Wow. Do you see why I feel I don't belong on the earth? I know. Wow. I would not, A, do that, and B, I would not enjoy viewing that.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
No, not that I could find. I'm self-employed, so I knew the note was coming.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
That's a job opening there in Japan, if anybody's looking.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
I'll tell you something. Sometimes I see that look in my eye, and I know.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Tom Bodette. In a world where it's all about the stuff, Amazon presents A Good Day to Buy Hard.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
And Paula Poundstone. They're going to take over Jaws. They're going to buy the Jaws franchise. They're going to make Jaws 5, and the tagline will be, this time, no one cares.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
You're not a baseball fan, are you? There'll be a little port that'll just spit out sunflower seeds every once in a while.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
I beseech your judgment. Wow, it seems like there's a lot of jobs opening up for robots. I think when I get that prompt, are you a robot? I'm going to start saying yes. You're hired. Yeah.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Good idea. Yeah, Elon Musk can send out a note to the robots, tell me five things you did this week. Is there ever an end to the baseball season?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Well, I just... It's not that I dislike it. I just feel like, well, aren't there some months where they play it and then they stop?
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
I hope when you give me hints, they're a lot like that last one, because that was all but packaged for Adam.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
That is weird. You know, I'd like to see some more studies on that. I think that's a little weird. I think their sample size was one.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
No, I disagree. I think, again, I feel that Ringo is within... More parameters, right. Yeah, yeah. Reasonable parameters. I have no reason to go on birth control, but I would be willing to go on birth control and worry about Ringo.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Okay, so there is a side effect where you mispronounce older bands' names. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Oh, the bottles. I love the bottles. Yeah. Oh, Peter, Paul and Murray. Oh my God. I love them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Before you head down to the river with your fly rod to outsmart some fish, you might think about wearing something other than your lucky shirt. Fish, it turns out, can remember what you wore last week when they watched you yank their buddy out of the weeds by the lips. They won't look at a thing you throw them.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Researchers at the Max Planck Institute of Animal Behavior have established through a series of experiments with actual fish over 12 days in the Mediterranean that fish can remember what people wear. The experiments were based on divers feeding fish while dressed one way and noting how the fish would go to any diver dressed that way and would not go back to the same diver dressed another way.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
It's science. Researcher Malin Tomasek said in a statement, it really shows that we have strong misconceptions of fish cognition. The team hopes their study could make humans reconsider the way they treat fish. Like maybe don't keep changing your clothes when you feed them just to mess with their little heads.
Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!
WWDTM: Roy Wood, Jr.
Police in Bay City, Wisconsin arrested Virginia Welpner at the local International House of Pancakes on a charge of indecent exposure. I spilled boysenberry syrup on my lap. I thought it was maple, says Welpner. I was halfway to the ladies' room before the whole top of my leggings was just gone. I wasn't just running around the IHOP with my Mary Ellen on display.