Todd Royce
Appearances
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
What is up, Austin? I don't know. I have a weird relationship with my mom. Does anybody else have a weird relationship with my mom? My mom never understood boundaries when it came to me. Like, she never understood that there were things I don't want to hear my mom say. Like, I remember one time she came home and she said, hey, Todd, I got a joke. I go, what's that?
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
And she goes, why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? I said, why? And she said, because at 69, she gets a little fog in her throat. I was like, mom, that's disgusting. Also, I think it should be frog. She goes, what do you mean frog? I go, at 69, she gets a little frog in her throat. It's a frog like Kermit. She goes, no, no, no, it's fog like cum. And I was like, mom.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
So now I'm a 16 year old virgin arguing about the sexual habits of two Muppets with my mom. It's probably why I'm still in therapy. It's probably also why I get an erection every time the Muppets come on. Or I talk to my mom. That's a joke. I'm kidding. I've never gotten hard watching the Muppets grow up. Thank you guys.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
People do say I look young for my age, but that's just because I'm a health nut.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
I live in Las Vegas. I just started a show in Las Vegas and downtown. Oh, you're in Las Vegas.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
That's right. The dead is inside me right now. Because the Grateful Dead, they're doing a show out at this... Never mind, you got it. Okay. You're doing good, Todd. You're doing good.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
No, this was just a tarp in the backyard. We just had it. Okay. And so I put it on. No, but seriously, where do you get clothes? I go to a place called DXL. Which, by the way, if you don't know, a lot of people think it's Deluxe XL or whatever. It's Destination Extra Large. If this is your destination, you fucked up in life. Yeah.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
I thought about it, but there's a lot of running. in football, and I'm not much of a runner, believe it or not. No, I never really did football, I did wrestling, but that was, never played football. If you wanna take me under your wing, and maybe I could start another career.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
I, right now, you want to know how much I weigh? Oh, I want to know. Do you guys want to know how much I weigh?
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
Last time I checked, I was two... No, four... I'm going to need AB's helmet. This thing's going to shatter. Glass is going everywhere. I was only 412 pounds. Okay.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
I thought I heard that you just died, but that was, I guess, someone else. It was a different Pope. Okay, thank you. This is Tommy Pope. Are you fucking done? You're thinking of Pope Francis.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
Do you want the full turnaround? Black dudes usually like me from behind.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
That is correct. Give me a book, give me a book! Yeah. That is a much better reaction than my doctor usually has. Your doctor needs to be fired.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
I am trying to get my Instagram followers up to over 500,000. Uh-huh. You need more grams? Yeah. I'm at 9,000 right now, so it's going to be hard. But if you guys could help me out, that would be awesome. I also got shows coming up in San Antonio, Seattle.
KILL TONY
#717 - ANTONIO BROWN + TOMMY POPE
Think anyone's watching this show? I'm kidding. Don't ever insult the show. It's Todd Royce. That's T-O-double-D. Royce XXL. Wow.