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Theo Vaughn

Appearances

Candace

STOP EVERYTHING. They FINALLY Mentioned ME In The Blake Lively Lawsuit! | Candace Ep 152

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I'll help you. Put a period out for the word Jesus and don't question my faith. Wow.

Candace

STOP EVERYTHING. They FINALLY Mentioned ME In The Blake Lively Lawsuit! | Candace Ep 152

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Oh, it happened. It happened. I said it would. We got to sit here. We got to sit here. I got it on video.

Candace

STOP EVERYTHING. They FINALLY Mentioned ME In The Blake Lively Lawsuit! | Candace Ep 152

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I just couldn't believe that I was sitting in there and I'm at the damn, they're doing the inauguration. You know? And then the chair broke and I'm like, oh. And you're on the floor and you're like, oh, this isn't good. And then you just, I thought I'd, I was like, please let me fall through to another world or whatever.

Candace

STOP EVERYTHING. They FINALLY Mentioned ME In The Blake Lively Lawsuit! | Candace Ep 152

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Like I looked over at Sam Altman and I was like, designer, you know, I was like, send me into the matrix right now, man. You know, don't make me have to just get up and just be human. So that was a lot. I don't know. Was it a lot? But anyway, it is just is what it is, man. And the best part of it was some rich lady scoffed at me. She's like, as if she had to watch one of her own dogs.

Candace

STOP EVERYTHING. They FINALLY Mentioned ME In The Blake Lively Lawsuit! | Candace Ep 152

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You know, those people that are really rich, they have someone else walk their dogs. So they never really know that their dogs or whatever. She was like, she grabbed her husband's arm or something. I'm like, yeah, you got it right. You're sitting in the wrong section. You're in section eight, boo-boo. These chairs busted as hell, brother. It's just so good.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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It would be great if your AC or whatever had like a Caribbean setting or whatever. And you could have set that and suddenly like some great music came out. And then some guy's trying to get you to gamble offshore. Suddenly you're like, what temperature is this? I think all British people are always just writing war letters and stuff. That's how I kind of always envision them.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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They're always just looking out the window and writing about the war to each other.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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Of course, yeah. And then even Paddington Bear, their bear has a coat. He's not even – like, our bears are naked. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not saying that that's the way to do it, but if you – bring up an American teddy bear real quick. Let me see this topless bastard. Yeah.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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Yeah, now some of these are obviously some pretty right-wing bears. Bring up a politically neutral teddy bear.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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I want to see him spell it, too, because that's even... He sounds like a gay superhero, kind of. That's how I feel. Oh, and it's just a dude that shows up and it's like he doesn't have any specific powers like any of the other superheroes. He's just like more like exciting. He's like, oh, there's fascinating Randy or whatever.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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Pikachu short tail. Let me think of him. Yeah. Oh, God, he's nasty. He had short little tail. That lady scoffed at me when I fell out of that chair at the inauguration. She's like, oh, oh. Like I was a fart that had come out of her. Oh, look at this gross. This thing from steerage that climbed up here somehow. This thing I would never get in a lifeboat on the Titanic. That kind of.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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I think it's become both sides of the aisle now just see that human people just feel like this is – that it's just wrong. Of course. What's happened is wrong. Like probably a year ago, people were afraid to even say that, and now it is what everybody is saying. Like even Piers Morgan is saying it on his show now.

Candace

BREAKING: Judge Makes Statement Regarding Taylor Swift's Text Messages. | Candace Ep 155

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Like people are saying it's obvious that you can't go and annihilate and genocide this culture and make them disappear. And then Trump to come on top of it and say they're going to build – who's gonna, you're gonna go on a lazy river where there's bodies of like, who could even go to that?

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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Me, I do a double hamburger, which isn't on the menu, but you can get it with pickles and ketchup.

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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No. I don't know who's making it back there. It depends. Okay. If Big Mac himself is back there, I'll take a couple ounces.

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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Yeah. It's kind of sad, though, but I'll tell you this. I used to get two milks with it. Milks? Yeah.

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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Oh, hell yeah, boy. What? see me in the streets you don't know me I'm the T.I.

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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of Mickey D's look at that little milk jug right there and that's what he used to call my sister little milk jug he's the only person that's ever used to call my sister little milk jug she built like that click on the third one right there nobody in the history of McDonald's ever got the milk jug but Theo Von they kept that on the menu for Theo Von you can't order more than two that's the crazy thing what?

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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So if you order more than two, they've been sitting in the... I'm just saying we get it how we live.

Candace

LeBron James ATTACKS Stephen A. Smith | Candace Ep 156

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Oh, double milk jug, baby. And the lady be like, you really want to? I'd be like, yeah. And then we would laugh a little bit. I'd tip her.

Fresh Air

The Political Battle For The Bros

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I don't know if ever in my life there's been like a like a lot of organizations where it's like, hey, men need help. You know, it's like everything is that women need help with this. Children, you know, and it's certainly that makes sense. I always think back to like women and children first, like when the Titanic was sinking or something, you know, and something like that.

Fresh Air

The Political Battle For The Bros

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It's like women and children first. Right. And that's probably what most men would want as well. But at a certain point, you're like, hey, we exist. What are we doing here? You know?

Fresh Air

Best Of: Seth Rogen / Can The Dems Win Back The Bros?

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I don't know if ever in my life there's been like a like a lot of organizations where it's like, hey, men need help. You know, it's like everything is that women need help with this children, you know, and it's certainly that makes sense. I always think back to like women and children first, like when the Titanic was sinking or something, you know, and something like that.

Fresh Air

Best Of: Seth Rogen / Can The Dems Win Back The Bros?

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It's like women and children first. Right. And that's probably what most men would want as well. But at a certain point, you're like, hey, we exist. What are we doing here? You know?

PBD Podcast

Trump's Biden Bombshell: Pardons Are VOID & VACANT | PBD Podcast | Ep. 562

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You saw this? I like the French, I'll be honest with you. If you put 70 French people in front of me, I don't like them. I don't like it. They just, the way they do it, they're like... It sounds like... You just want to... Just pat him on the fucking back, boy. I just want to spray paint my hand red, white, and blue and pat them bitches on the back and get the fucking truth out of them.

PBD Podcast

Trump's Biden Bombshell: Pardons Are VOID & VACANT | PBD Podcast | Ep. 562

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What are you trying to say? It sounds like Japanese, but they fucking got their, but they're nasaled out or something. It sounds like somebody hit a bunch of cotton in a Japanese dude.

PBD Podcast

Trump's Biden Bombshell: Pardons Are VOID & VACANT | PBD Podcast | Ep. 562

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Aw, dude. You just can't get it. It sounds like somebody's just ejacking. I don't know. Somebody just got stuck ejaculating.

PBD Podcast

Trump's Biden Bombshell: Pardons Are VOID & VACANT | PBD Podcast | Ep. 562

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Without her, ain't nobody care about WNBA. Okay, let me show you this.