Ted Danson
Appearances
SmartLess
Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
Not only do I belong, but these fucking people are the worst. They're so untalented. I can't believe how lucky all these motherfuckers are. This person can barely read. This person can barely speak.
SmartLess
Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
You're like, I own this room. I fucking kill it. No, you do have those things. I mean, I've gone through very, again, I think that it's one of the benefits of getting older that, that I just put less value on shit like that. And, and,
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Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
There was a time coming off Arrested Development, if I'm being totally honest, where I thought that I was going to have – where I had a lot of opportunity and I felt like I squandered it, which reminds me I've got to fire my manager today. And I've had those moments where I was like I could have had this or I could have had that and I didn't. And I always remind myself that I'm on my path –
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Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
the universe is always taking care of me. Yeah. So whatever that's going to be. And I don't know what is coming for me, but it's fucking great. And it is right around the corner. And you know how I know that? Cause it always has been. So I just got to bank on that. It's the only thing that's kind of the only faith I really have.
SmartLess
Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
Ted, I think about this, about what you've done all the time. Both you guys have gone from there, from Cheers. You've had no fewer than five hit television shows since then that I can think of. You had Becker, Good Place.
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Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
Damages. I forgot about Damages. The one with the Bored to Death. Bored to Death. I love that one. With Zack and, yeah.
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Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
No, but it's true.
SmartLess
Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson Talk to Will Arnett About Imposter Syndrome
Curb episodes. Made tons of movies in between. Woody, you made a million movies and limited series and comedies and dramas. And I get the sense that both you guys don't feel like you've got it figured out. So maybe you had a moment where you thought you were a big shot, but I don't buy it.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You worked with Jimmy a lot, Sean. Jimmy Burroughs is great. Yeah, every single episode of Will & Grace. Every?
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"Ted Danson"
About 20 of them went elsewhere, but yeah, he did tons of them. But his sense of physical comedy is insane.
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"Ted Danson"
Did you all do three weeks on, one week off? Yeah. We did, yeah. I mean, that's amazing. It's the fucking, it's the greatest. It's unbelievable. Yeah.
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"Ted Danson"
I like Tuesday nights. I like Tuesday nights because I could... soak up the lines over the weekend. Oh. Are lines a tough thing for you to remember? Yeah? I'll have to say, I mean, I started off with a slow, dumb joke, which is, you know, a great living. Sam Malone's, you know, it's the funniest, easiest way for the laugh. And you're not doing...
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"Ted Danson"
Frasier or Diane, fast, you know, brilliant, you know, complicated. And I've moved on to having some of the most difficult lines to say with Mike Shore in The Good Place.
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"Ted Danson"
You know, it was so elevated. But it... It's not hard for me to learn them. It's hard for me to retain them. So this year, I had the best time with my youngest daughter, Katrina. She would come to work with me. And I never had to worry about lines because she was there kind of jamming them into my brain.
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"Ted Danson"
Because literally, if the camera's turning around and there's that 15, 20-minute pause or whatever, I need to make sure I reload the lines. So I don't have to worry about them.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Netflix. You know what? I think the name is changing as we speak. Okay. But it came from a documentary out of Chile, out of Santiago, Chile. Sure. Yeah. Yeah, they're very funny.
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"Ted Danson"
Sorry, are you guys not on camera as far as what people get to see? No, this is all audio. YouTube? No. Well, you guys are idiots. You are so fucking funny. People want to see this. I hear it.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I have to put my shoes on. No, you don't. You know what I mean? All right, let me take over again. What are you directing, Jason? Why are you so exhausted? What are you working on? A Netflix thingy. He's acting and directing.
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"Ted Danson"
moody dark people die kind of things that um is it eight episodes ten it's eight eight eight and done eight now right yeah isn't that isn't that slightly disturbing because we all did 22 24 episodes and now they say you have eight you go well they must hate us right or what am i going to do with the rest of the year i have no faith in us yeah yeah
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"Ted Danson"
Yeah, I think there was a point at Carnegie which I loved. It was the only acting I knew. So a lot of other people had come having acted before or studied before, and they had their judgments about Carnegie. I just was lapping it up because it was the first and only time I've ever done it. So it didn't matter to me. Then I went to New York, and I was terrified.
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"Ted Danson"
And, you know, when you come out of Carnegie, you're supposed to go into the repertory system. And there's, I think they're called TCGs, where you go and you audition for all the companies around the country. And none of us got in at all. We went, well, shit. All right, we'll all go to New York. And that's what we did. But it terrified me so much that I went to John Houseman.
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"Ted Danson"
at Juilliard and said, I want to enroll. Having just graduated from Carnegie, I wanted to be back in a system to protect me in New York somehow.
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"Ted Danson"
Yeah, but at least it was like you were cocooned. And he very sweetly said, well, if you still feel that way a year from now, come back. So off I went. And then I studied – I did study – Names, neighborhood playhouse, famous, famous... Sandy Meisner. Sandy Meisner, thank you. I did two years of a Sandy Meisner student teaching a version of that, which really is what I think...
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"Ted Danson"
propelled me out the door acting-wise as far as technique, because it stopped being about showing your technique or demonstrating how good you are, and it got me out of my head and started focusing on the other person, which is kind of the whole point of acting.
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"Ted Danson"
I was really lucky when I got to L.A., which was – I mean, I did – I understudied an off-Broadway show for a year and a half. I did soap opera and I did – I did anything I could. I would be an extra in a commercial and be just as happy. I didn't care. As long as I was working, doing something, I was thrilled. And even just being in an acting class was as exciting as being paid.
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"Ted Danson"
It didn't matter to me in the beginning. And then when I came to L.A., I was lucky enough, because L.A., you're just there to make it. There's no other reason to be... in L.A. except to make it. Pilot season.
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"Ted Danson"
Right. And I was, a friend of mine had started something called The Mastery. It was the Actors Institute, and it was a one-weekend kind of transformational, it wasn't a how-to to act, but it was kind of more about this is how you're presenting yourself. Is that what you want to be doing? Because this is what happens when you walk in the room.
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"Ted Danson"
You've got a big fuck you on your shoulder or whatever it is. You don't really know what you're walking in with and then you put acting on top of that or something. And he actually... kind of a, not a flim-flam man, but he, well, he is in that he said, Ted, I want you to anchor this project that I'm doing, this Actors Institute here in LA, and we'll do it by you teaching acting.
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"Ted Danson"
And he convinced me that I had to do this. And I would throw up every night before teaching a class. It was the hardest, most painful thing. And it's not a happy ending, like all my students became famous or something. I hated it, but it took my mind off of auditioning. It was so much more fun to go audition than teach a class. And one of the things he taught me
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"Ted Danson"
was it's a good chance for you when you go into audition to check out whether or not you want to be working with those people. You're always trying to impress them to work, to hire you and to like you, but do you like them? And not in an arrogant way, but just heads up. Make sure you're looking at them. And the other thing is they want you to be good. They so want you to be good.
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"Ted Danson"
They desperately want to cast this part. Yeah, we were just talking about that. I was just talking about that. Yeah. You walk in, not literally and not with arrogance, but you walk in with a relax. I'm here. This is going to be really good. I get how hard this is for you.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And then you do your little scene, you know, and then at the end of it, without literally saying it, without being arrogant, you go, thanks, that was a lot of fun, but I have something else I have to go to. But anyway, good luck. See you later.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Exactly. I am such milquetoast. Anyway, I always had enough... Back then, you could work a day on a commercial and make a nice whatever to pay your rent, but then the next day, you could go collect unemployment. So between working little teeny things, I never actually had to.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Oh, no. I am the guy sitting in the back of the pickup looking... you know, behind where the pickup is going, going, wow, well, look at that. Golly, I never turned around and focused and said, I want this. I'm going to go for this. No aspirations. Until I met Mary, or shortly before I met Mary.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, exactly. No, you know, you, oh, come on. I am here talking to you because of Les and Glenn Charles and Jimmy. That is literally why I'm here. But then you pick hit, massive hit shows. Well, people think, well, the good writers tend to come your way because of Cheers. I mean, literally, I'm not playing humble pie. I'm here because of Cheers. And it was remarkable.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I was talking to somebody who was going, we need to win the jackpot, you know? And it was like... Yeah, to tell the truth, I did win the jackpot. Playing Sam Malone on Shears for 11 years is certainly a jackpot.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, but I mean, no, I won't do humble pie, but you all know that it's the writing. I mean, yeah, you can be really good.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yes, that's true. Or you don't want to be around them. I do love going to work. I do love actors. I do love writers. I do love the whole process. I am as starry-eyed as I was. I love going to studio gates and crossing over Jimmy Stewart Avenue. Yeah, same. That's so good to hear.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And also, it's also wonderful to be part of this tribe of funny. I am not... You guys are really quick and really funny. You really, truly are. If I have funny material, I will indeed be funny. But I don't have that thing that you guys have. But I am part of the tribe of funny, and it makes me so happy. I got to shake hands and hug Mel Brooks. How fucking cool is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
My technique, you know, I think I have a little bit of that, I don't know, my mother's spiritual, religious, whatever, you know, pride goeth before a fall and, you know, all of that, you know. It does smack of false humility, you know. Here's how I handled Cheers passing. I fucked up my life so publicly and so thoroughly that the actual passing of Cheers was, oh, it's over?
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"Ted Danson"
You know, it was that kind of... So I don't really know. I... I was more focused on trying to be better Ted. And that was preoccupying me more than the end of Cheers. I got you.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, and I really worked very hard on myself. And I don't think Mary would have even been walking down the same hallway as me if I hadn't. I don't think she would have even... seen me.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah. Yeah. And if your intention is to, you know, wake up, um, then all these little, you know, wounds or whatever can be, you know, a godsend in a way.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Well, you know, it came... Once again, I think I was just... I was really excited to discover who I am, you know, and stop being a liar and being emotionally as, you know, this is an ongoing process, obviously, but as being emotionally mature for the first time in my life or trying to be. I was fascinated. I had an amazing mentor. So that truly was what was preoccupying me.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
But then right away, I got a... Sherry Lansing is actually... responsible for Mary and I being together. It was a terrible movie, but we were both cast in it. And, you know, we both came to each other at the... She had just broken up from a four-year relationship and was saying to friends, I know I look like I should be good at relationship, but I don't. I can't. I'm not.
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"Ted Danson"
Obviously, I'm not that person. I have two beautiful kids. I'll leave it at that. I was going, well, truly, you can fuck up any relationship, and it's you, Ted, that's doing it. So... Maybe you need to just not be in a relationship. And we met, and we became friends, having declared to each other that same kind of feeling that we both had of being kind of flops at relationships.
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"Ted Danson"
And just fell head over... We fell head over heels, I'll speak for myself, in love. And, you know, have been inseparable ever since.
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"Ted Danson"
29 married, 31 together. I mean, that's incredible. No way. That's amazing. Wow.
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"Ted Danson"
He's showing us Mary on a screensaver. This is yesterday. Come on. That's so fucking great, dude. That's why my life really works, truly. Yeah.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Like which one... I want to keep trying to experience what it is to be funny or explore the... human frailty or whatever you want to call it. It can be drama as long as it has wit, you know, and humor somewhere in there. But I want to know what that's like at every age. I want to keep acting and I'm 77 in a few months. Wow. It's different. It's different. Trying to figure out how to be funny.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Hey, you know what? We've been on this fucking podcast for like almost an hour and that's the first time anyone has said how good I look.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Hey, all three of you may have made me laugh so much over the years. And you do have different styles. Not today. Are you kidding me? You should have seen me while you all were bantering. I was doing spit takes. They told me not to.
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"Ted Danson"
Damages to me was one of the funniest things I got to do because that's the epitome of that.
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"Ted Danson"
I love the silliness of men. I love being a silly man. Yeah, I love that too. I would like to be, you know, it can be disguised. It can be, but, you know, we're silly. We're silly creatures, and I love that.
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"Ted Danson"
Yeah, and I do love humor that comes out of sadness. I do love that it's so much fucking suffering. And if you can find a way to laugh while acknowledging the sadnesses of life, I am so happy when you get to do that.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
You guys are like a basketball team of three-pointers. You know, one of the shooting guards gets hot and the rest of you just sit alone and let him run.
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"Ted Danson"
Ever. I know. It's amazing. It's fucking insane. I'm a tramp. I'll do anything. I really will pretty much do anything. You're so lucky you get to work so much in Los Angeles, too. Oh, my God.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Huge success. Those were huge hits, right, Ted? One was. The first one was like gangbusters. I don't know. Huge amount of millions. And then the second one, which was pretty well done. I remember having lunch with Jeffrey Katzenberg because it was about to come out. Three men and a little lady. And we're going to do great.
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"Ted Danson"
We are keeping our eye on this other show, kind of small show coming out called Home Alone. But I think we'll do great. You came out the same weekend? Yeah. Oh, my God. Blew us out of the water. Wow. That was 1990 or something like that?
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"Ted Danson"
Yeah. I lost the job due to Magnum PI. The first year of Magnum, I played a murderous schmuck husband. who's getting the shit beat out of him on a boat by Tom Selleck.
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"Ted Danson"
And it was the first time I realized I had a big ball spot on the back of my head because there was an overhead shot of, you know, this incredible hulk of a man, handsome guy beating the shit out of this wimpy, murderous husband with the ball spot. And I swear to God, this is true. Please, Steven Spielberg listens to your show, I'm sure. A lot.
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"Ted Danson"
But my version of, and I hope it's true, was he was talking to me about Poltergeist. Then he happened to, within a week or two, see the Magnum P.I. episode, and I heard he was no longer interested.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yes, you're right. You're right. He was thinning. He was thinning. Yeah. So maybe I made that up. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he just didn't like my work. That could well be.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
It was probably for a feature. I think it was probably, it was a really funny movie. The first 10 minutes didn't work, and then it just took off. I think it ended up coming out called The Amateurs. It was called The Moguls for a while. It was Jeff Bridges. In this small town, and he decides the only way to put the town on the map is for them to do the whole town to participate in an amateur porn.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
And that was going to put us on. You probably didn't see it. It's really kind of wonderful. But I auditioned for that.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I don't think auditions are bad, though, because don't you want to make sure you're right for the part? Yes, exactly.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
It was just, hey. And they hand the papers through the bushes. You got to have an answer. Come on, what's the answer?
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"Ted Danson"
You all have made me, I get to say this, don't cut it, have made me laugh so hard, not only today, but in everything you've done over the years. Likewise.
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"Ted Danson"
Podcasts are cool, man. Podcasts are cool. Thank you for showing us the right. And congrats on yours.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Yeah, because he's so... I'm the straight guy and he's just all over the map. He's such a... Love him. I love him so much. I do too. Just quickly, and then we'll go goodbye. My favorite is Woody's during Cheers. you know, if you were 15 minutes late, it was okay. If you're a half hour late, hey, we're, you know, by 45 minutes late, people get pissed and it was about 45 minutes late, no Woody.
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"Ted Danson"
Somebody comes running in and said, oh, I forgot to tell you, Woody is in Berlin. The wall is coming down and he didn't want to miss it.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
He sure is. And the more popular, or if he gets nominated, my little revenge is to watch his film on my cell phone. You know, just a big movie star. Yeah. I'm watching you on my cell phone.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Sam Mayday Malone. You guys with this format should somehow find a way to have a camera on the guests while you're doing your thing. As you nod off and keep catching yourself. I'm doing spit takes. I'm putting my hand over my mouth. You are so fucking funny. So stupid.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
I'm sorry. I barely heard what you were saying because I loved watching the first question of a podcast as you're trying to formulate how do we get him talking. Sorry. You're very good at it, Will. No, thank you. You're very good.
SmartLess
"Ted Danson"
Wow. I was doing a last-second replacement on Taxi. Wow. And I was there, and Jimmy and Les and Glenn had an office down the way at Paramount, and they were working on Cheers. And Jimmy had... remembered me from... Was it Best of the West? Do you remember that Western sitcom? Yeah. Anyway, I auditioned for it, didn't get it, and he remembered me and called me down and...
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"Ted Danson"
I guess we had a conversation before I got the script and then read it. And then I auditioned two or three times and they said to me, okay, don't take another job without letting us know. And I went, oh, so you're saying it's my part? No, just don't take another job. Yeah.
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"Ted Danson"
And I went out the back door and literally up the front door, coming up the stairs to the front door of the office was like every actor in L.A. I think I got cheers because of Shelley Long because she just, she really nailed that part right out of the bat. Yeah, brilliant. She was amazing. And we got teamed up together when we auditioned. We had to audition as couples.
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"Ted Danson"
I mean, I am always, always the worst. My first reaction to Shelley while we were auditioning was, oh, no, no, that's a bad, bad idea. Oh, really? Horrible? Yes, horrible. Why? Why? I just, I don't know. We're so different. Our styles, our approach, our everything is really different, which is why I think it worked because it was like this fair fight.
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"Ted Danson"
You know, it was hard for us sometimes to be in the room together, but when we started working, it was just fantastic, because you'd smack her, and she'd smack you back harder. She was just brilliant.
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"Ted Danson"
No. I didn't think about it until Stanford and then I discovered acting and I was just, life made sense. I was not an academic. I came from like scientific people in my family, my father, my sister was incredibly bright and I just faked my way through school. I just was
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"Ted Danson"
No, you could back then. Really? And I was geographically interesting. I came from Arizona, Flagstaff. All my friends were Hopi and Navajo kids and ranchers, sons and daughters, and galloping here and there. And then went to a private school in Connecticut, Kent School for Boys. Yeah. And I think I got there for that reason. And then that's kind of interesting.
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"Ted Danson"
And then truly, I was a horrible student. The first two weeks at Stanford, I was sitting in an English class. And it's going to sound weird. It was an advanced placement English class because I lucked into it because I'm not very bright. I test wonderfully because I don't give a shit. You know, I just kind of wing it and make it a game and have fun.
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"Ted Danson"
But I was sitting there going, not only do I not understand what the professor just said in response to this question, this girl sitting next to me said that I have no, and I just pretty much dropped out. Wanted to play basketball. nowhere near talented enough. So all my dreams kind of fizzled.
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"Ted Danson"
And then a little while after that, trying to take some young lady out and have a cup of coffee, and she told me about five minutes in, because I don't think she was enjoying it, I have an audition I have to go to. And I said, can I come along? And off I went. And to stay in the room, it was like a Bertolt Brecht performance. And to stay in the room, they said, well, just do something.
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"Ted Danson"
And I got up and I heard people laugh. And it was like, oh, wait a minute. It's this drug. Yeah, I took my first acting class and was in some productions. And I pulled my station wagon with a sleeping bag in the back and never left. the theater until somebody said you should really go back east and study. So off I went to Carnegie. But there you are. Wow. Hey, let me take over.
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"Ted Danson"
Let me take over for a minute. Yeah, you go. Will Arnett, thank you so much for being our first guest. You really did us a good turn and we did you well in the ratings and all of that. That's so great. Thank you. Thank you. Really appreciate it.