Tectone

Good. It's a negative parasocial relationship.

Yeah.

He turned left and saw a uniformed police officer and went, ah!

Because that was like parasympathetic muscle reflex, I think, because she was going to grab something and squeezed both hands at the same time.

He's already on the ground.

Is that the one where she goes, shit, afterward? Probably one of those.

that's that's one thing i will say because everybody's like oh don't it's such a boot licker this all he does is defend police i don't think i've ever seen you get more upset than when it's a bad cop doing dumb shit yeah like you get actually physically angry yeah like this is not how you do the job i hate i hate that man hate it so much it just makes it hard for the other you know 800 000 police officers you i think that's when you uh you took a break the first time i forget what happened that led to you i remember that video and you're like i i need a

And we can do our own. Journalism accountability is something I feel strongly about because these networks don't hold them accountable when they run false stories or they do any of this bullshit. They just openly lie about people. I've been on the receiving end of it. My friends have been on the receiving end of it.

If any of our dudes ever fall into that shit, we have to have a special segment where it's just a straight-up apology. I am a big, fat, retard idiot. This was the story I ran that was incorrect. I now realize I am a dum-dum. And then we throw eggs at people.

I can only imagine what a Canadian theatre department was like during COVID. Oh my god.

Yeah, yeah. Those are our own. Well, the police get a little mad when you do it to the other ones.

Yeah. Again, I don't want to be on the receiving end of a binder. That's a scary place to be.

that's the one thing we never hide anything on this because we want people to be successful even on the youtube side but i've never heard of that that's really smart yep that's the the thing that people always ask like hey do you have any tips for youtube i'll tell them and we talked about it here on on the podcast and whatnot it's like yeah the hard part isn't knowing the tips and tricks but if you're already like in the

You're trying to get on the grind. They might help. Yeah. And we're totally fine. Like anybody who's ever asked, we tell them the same stuff. Yeah. We don't want to protect. It's like, this is ours.

I think probably a lot of streamers do it more so than other creators. They do because the PVP is enabled. Yeah, exactly.

And now you're so gay for that. That's like a Jaden's. Who's the kid of Will Smith? Jaden Smith. That's like a Jaden Smith tweet.

Five dollars.

Oh, dear.

I saw a meme yesterday. It was like a video where it's like, oh my god, did you see the graphics on that game? You could see the beads of sweat on his arm hair. And it's like, nope, that's it. I am banning graphics. Graphics are not allowed in games until fun becomes the purpose again. Yes, I absolutely agree. You are now all playing text-based Japanese series.

Yeah, I believe that's called night sweats. Means you got a trash mattress, Brandon. Why are we talking like Macho Man Randy Savage?

Yeah. You know, now that I think about it, all of the games I've gotten into, aside from Helldivers 2, that was like the only one that kind of broke the mold. Any game I've played recently that I've gotten into was made 2020 or before. Yep. Red Dead, Cyberpunk, MGS5. You played Dark Souls? No. That's fucked up. I could never get into it.

I'll do a thing where I'll get sucked into a game like Red Dead 2. Fucking loved it. Cyberpunk. Fucking loved that. I'll get sucked into something. I'll finish it and then I won't play video games again for two months.

I think none of us just stream anymore.

It is. I will say it's not, not to put down anything about what you do. Cause like, do it as good. All right.

say please the uh to do it as consistently as you do it that is a job in itself but like for me it was just always just easy and convenient it's like all right well if i'm gonna be playing like back when i was playing tarkov a couple years ago it's like i'm gonna play it anyway yeah fuck it i'll throw on the stream and it's just like an easy little bit of extra revenue but it was never it was never gonna be a living for me absolutely it's good for building the community though it's like getting it everyone

It's when he says the word community.

I was going to say, is this a white guy? Jesus. Yeah. I was not assuming that at all. Well, Italian. Jack hates him.

Have you gone to any no, I I have a story actually about that. I did that one time you This was years ago. I went to a viewers bachelor party. It was just him and his boys They're like, hey, we're gonna go to the range blah blah And I looked at the address and I'm like a three-hour drive And I just woke up that morning. I had nothing to do.

It'd be hilarious. Fuck it. And so I went, and I hung out with those guys. Shout out, Dave. Cavalry Dave. Hope you're still doing good. But yeah, no, I just hung out with those dudes and got fucking shitty with them after the range. And yeah, we hung out, and it was a good time. No shit. Pretty sure I crashed on his couch.

This is about unsub now. This is our wedding. Give me that dress, bitch. Eli, cross-dressing IRL.

At the reception. Yeah.

I mean, that'd be wild.

Oh, man.

I texted the chat this morning, like our fucking unsub group chat. I looked at my DMs, like my DM requests, and it is like two fucking pages of people just like every message is thank you for your service.

I just texted that to the chat and I said, fuck you.

He just woke up before sending him this shit. If I could travel back in time and undo my appearance on that Veterans Day episode, my cortisol would go from here to here instantly.

If I could just go back in time, like End of Deadpool 2 style, just unplug my phone charger.

Yep. Can't take social cues and can't drop a joke. We'll come to unsubscribe.

Could you please put up that news article? Because that is something that I think... What is it? New York Times?

If you lift weights and don't eat like a fat ass, you're a MAGA body.

He really likes going out to people's parents. It's really weird. what was the story about that? Like he said that Asman murdered his mother.

Okay.

It's almost the 48-hour mark. Have they apologized yet?

We'll be like... Knock over the king.

You off?

I don't know what you said, but I'm sure I agree with it.

When I was a kid, I always wanted turtle beaches. These were like the be all end all, like this is what all the cool kids had, but I was broke. And so now it's cool that I finally have a set. When I was a kid, those didn't exist.

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Like from his, that's you.

Yeah, there it is.

It's funny because the last time Ethan Klein or Hasan were relevant to me was, I think it was probably four years ago. They both were on a podcast together attacking me. What? Yeah. Oh, the mask thing? Yeah. So I did an ad for a company. This was like tail end of COVID, I guess. And now all the data's out and everything. We all know that the mask never fucking worked and it was all a sham.

Like, yeah, go fucking figure. But... I did a promo for a company that was like a fake mask company where it's like a lot of like airplanes and shit. Like they still required you to wear a mask. And, uh, it was like, it was a mesh mask that you could wear, but you could still breathe through it. Like it wouldn't obstruct your breathing.

Yeah. It was like at the very end of COVID where it just like, Just to get past the regs anywhere that, like, they still required you to wear it. I did a promo for it, and I was shitposting, right, while I was doing it. I was like, oh, yeah, do you want to be a thermonuclear weapon in a nursing home? Like, I was making obvious jokes, right?

And they were treating it like, oh, my God, I can't believe, how is this allowed? How is YouTube not banned this guy? And they were just, like, they did 30 minutes or 20 minutes, like, just attacking my fake ad for a fake mask.

Never mind. Actually, I'll go one more recent than that. Speaking of jokes. Yeah. This one you could still look up. Fucking Ethan Klein actually afterward.

uh i think we uh he got a strike for this but when i was at the nra convention he's like how is um uh i think this is like 2023 maybe he went on a stream was like how has somebody not bombed this place already and then like it's dead silence for a couple seconds later on like straight face the whole time he's like oh obviously that was a joke i was like no motherfucker you were serious you were speaking at that one right

I feel like it's like the mean girls, like, stop trying to make COVID happen. It's not going to happen. I've heard stuff like that, but I don't know.

I can only imagine what a Canadian theater department was like during COVID.

This is sounding like a hashtag me too moment.

Understandably.

Well, it's a little different when it's like, oh yeah, if you fail, you get deported.

and it's like yeah well we're just like bored of it so we don't want to like do anything so nobody wears a mask at all and nobody's vaccinated at least where i'm from yeah like all of us were like if we had to go to like a concert or whatever the way to go some thing in austin like they they wanted like vax passes like two years after covid we'd all just sit there at brunch and photoshop them that's awesome like off like yeah we're gonna bring our documents it was it was up canada some conventions that we went to yeah some conventions

Out of shape.

God. Do you guys remember the first SHOT Show after COVID? Oh, my God, yeah. Everywhere in the casino floor and in the – because the venue is like the Venetian and the Sands, like the Sands Expo Center, I'm sure, connected. And so it's the same security guys all through there, and they had like masks, a bunch of masks in hand.

If you don't know SHOT Show, it's like the biggest weapon convention in at least America, probably the world. And it's exactly who you think it is. It's a bunch of ex military guys, bunch of like, just, you know, hunters, uh, fuds, you know, whoever, like, but all like pretty conservative, you know, gun dudes for the most part, uh, very independent people who don't like being told what to do.

And so like the first day, all these people are out on the floor, you know, the, the security out, you know, full, full force, like sorry.

have to wear a mask like put on a mask whatever and they got so verbally abused throughout the week it was visible decline Tuesday to Wednesday it wasn't like sir you need to put on a mask it was uh please a mask sir and like by Thursday they were just sitting there with a stack of masks in their hand like fucking take them if you want like I'm done

Oh, Castaway.

You just always have your drink up to here like you're really engaged in what they're watching.

It's especially like the thing that drove me fucking crazy. It's kind of like Twitch, like where it's like, I just want the rules to be enforced equally. Like you go to like in a restaurant. All right. We're all breathing each other's recirculated air. But if you stand up from a table where you're not eating, you have to put your mask on. It's like, oh, oh, yeah, shit. I forgot.

COVID doesn't exist at the three foot level.

Yeah, it's just fucking stupid. It's like, can we just all agree that this is security theater? Yeah. And like none of this actually matters.

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Their offices are based out of what? Washington, Oregon? Yeah, that sounds about right.

What was the story you told earlier about that?

Wait, no, no, wait, $400 is the max, right?

So at most, it would be $182,000. No, that's way too much. I was going to say, I'm like, what the fuck are we looking at here?

Especially, like, for me, five, six years ago, like, I had no fucking clue.

You get off the plane to Shanghai like, oh, it's Fuckman.

Yeah, then a week later, they invite you to Shanghai. Well, OK, it wasn't a week later.

Hundreds of millions is like, that's hundreds times kill people money. Oh, yeah, because I was told. You think they forgot.

You're shitting me.

Yeah.

Wow.

I don't know what that is.

So they're weaponizing the same loopholes that they use for those fucking arcade gaming cabinets, the casino shit that they have in bars and whatnot, except for children.

You think so? What part? Like just streaming from there? No, like...

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Maybe I am in the wrong business.

250 grand. I'm like, I hope he gave you an edible enragement. Sure. I fucking, he's made him $180,000. He was a very happy boy after that.

And the last part is essential to that. Like if you get it sponsored. Yeah, of course. Because it's like what people don't realize is the difference between what it is worth and what you make.

Oh, man.

Well, it's kind of wild that they don't do the pride flags in any of their Middle Eastern departments for marketing.

It was all of them. Oh, yeah. It was a screenshot that it was just like all these corporations. And if you like .AE or yeah, UAE.

Every single one. What you're saying about like several streamers that you know that end up homeless and whatnot, this is literally no different than professional sports. Absolutely. Where dudes will get these $20 million three-year contracts. They're like, oh, I'm on top of the world. And they got all the boats and hoes and everything.

And then five years down the road when their body's completely broken. Yep. They've completely given their body to the sport. Nobody knows who the fuck they are now. They're struggling to get a fucking contract to do a fruit juice promotion. Yep. Like... They didn't save any money. They didn't invest any money. And now they're fucking broke.

Most people have to be addicted to it, too. Not only just the money, but the affirmation, all that stuff, especially from a female perspective. I can only imagine.

Well, I'm not the one who got the beautiful man speech earlier. He hates Mexicans. You're Mexican? Yeah.

Holy shit, you're Mexican?

It is the best career ever.

I mean, it's the difference between that attitude and our attitude we always take is, you know, best job I've ever had. Even when we bitch about it, it's like, man, we're so fucking grateful to be here. Absolutely.

Yeah. You calling her, you know.

It's also warm. We didn't have any in the fridge.

I would love for him to come down. It's been a standing offer. Oh, yeah.

One is a lie. He's got some hair left.

This Caucasian Herrera guy.

This is educating me on how little I know about the streamer sphere.

The only reason I know is because we have VTubers that react to our content. Oh, who? I don't know.

Curse? I think Remy is one of them. I don't know the... Kitsunaru? Who? Nux does. Nux?

All right, we've all gotten death threats. You got death lore and a death, like, fucking diss track. That's awesome.

You're like, just, damn, this is a bop.

But 42 days. Yes. That's literally like one of those like little Facebook things gets pushed around. Like, would you like live in this cabin for a million dollars for a year with no wifi? It's like, would you stream for 42 days for $500,000?

There was that one guy, I can't remember who it was, but I loved his reaction to where he's just like, you got me.

He's like, fuck me.

I know, right?

Has he done that?

They actually told us they don't want anything to do with us. They're like, not only will we not sponsor you, we would love it if you had nothing to do with our brand. Please stop. Hate you, actually.

Because that was where they were edging TOS for Twitch. They were like, oh, how far can we go and get away with it?

Must be, uh, I don't know.

It reminds me of that, uh, that fucking video that's circulating where it's like the, the girls and the, it was like two, I guess a couple on a double date. Like the girls are like, oh, let's play this fun game. Like, let's see, uh, your, your for you page on Instagram. And the guys immediately, there's like phone in the water bowl. I don't want to play this game.

This sounds just like fucking Jocko becomes a VTuber.

Well, my favorite part of the story, and I don't know if we've said this on the podcast before, maybe we have, but when we were, because we had gone hard the night before because it was Eli's birthday. We're going to the range the next day. Me and Cody are both like a little hungover. And we are going through windy backcountry Texas. And he has a race car driver, so he drives like that. Oh, yeah.

So we're listening to these fucking anime intro songs. And I'm just going through my head. I'm like, man, these are kind of new friends of mine. I really don't feel good. I might have to puke soon.

oh god this is a nice car and then we get out and I'm a little nauseous like I'm right on the edge and fucking Cody blows past me and pukes in the ditch and I'm like oh okay thank god it wasn't just I thought it was just a me thing pulled up and they both just ran to the ditch line I was like sorry I didn't even say anything one punch man attack on titan you know the good ones you listen to Hatsune Miku

Is this your workout music video?

He's in the mirror.

Hold on. I've heard this tune somewhere else in a meme.

Never mind.

That's why Scandinavian women are so attractive. They didn't bring home the ugly ones. I swiped left. Nice.

Do you think sometimes that's like a purposeful fuck you?

You are the embodiment, the actual life use case for like why the death note could not be a thing.

While he's running. You're just giggling about it in class later. Your teacher's like, hey, that's enough out of you, John. You're like, watch your mouth.

That's like being sentenced to prison. They're like, hey, we can pick you up. Like, well, what's your schedule like? You're just taking a Tuesday? What are you feeling? We don't want to inconvenience you.

Not an insulting question, like genuinely.

I worked at a steak and shake.

No, they're going to walk into the office on Monday, like Danny Glover and community with the pizzas and everything's on fire. Everyone's fighting like, Oh shit.

It burns so many calories. I didn't know. This is maybe Google AI fucking up, but I read somewhere that one hour of actual high intensity just boxing for an hour is 800 calories burned. That's what I'm saying.

Cause I went the first time right before my fight. It was like, I was just over 200 pounds for the first time in my life, but it was like in a pretty good way. Like I felt good. Like I, it wasn't a clean bulk, but I had bulked up. Like I was lifting really heavy. And then I was told I needed to fight at one 90. So you had to cut 10 pounds?

In like relatively like six weeks, something like that, which isn't too crazy. Yeah, you can do it, but it's hard. I had to start eating more to slow down how fast I was losing weight. Because I ended up fighting it like I weighed in at like, I don't know, 188, 189. And I didn't have to cut water at all.

How many rounds? That's 12. 12 rounds. Okay.

It's the instant feedback, too, where if you fuck up, you're getting fucking punched in the head.

Core Clash? The new one. Yeah, hilarious.

Yep. Yeah. Tail as old as time. Where you get a relatively cool dude, finds his first piece of tail, and then becomes an asshole.

That was it away.

You'll never understand what it's like to be an ally.

Meanwhile, we've all known each other for like better part of a decade.

Again, I think that's... Not to single out streamers too much, but I think that's largely a streamer thing as well.

That can't be good for your brain long-term, for most people anyway.

I talked about it a little bit before. It's one of those, like, dad moments where it's like, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. We had the I did a thing guys down. I've heard of them. I did a thing in Boy Boy where we got hooked up through, like, a Mr. Beast producer, like, hit me up. He's like, hey, these guys want to do some stuff while they're in the States.

They want to attach a machine gun to a robotic dog. And I'm over here like, that's cool as shit. I absolutely don't fucking do it. We workshop it a little bit. They come out. We, uh, we, we sit there in my shop. It takes like a day or two to get something functional working. Like we were, you know, had some prototype ideas.

We had to adjust on the fly and like, we were able to make it kind of work and, uh, had to use like kind of something pretty light, you know, ended up with like, I think the most functional thing was like an MP5 is what we ended up rolling with full auto MP5. They got this remote piloted dog and we've got this little thing that we can hit to trigger the machine gun part. It was neat as fuck.

Um, and then the video comes out and it's a total anti-gun hit piece. And I'm like, guys, what the hell?

Just, they were, the whole thing was supposed to be anti-gun from the start. They just didn't fucking tell us.

And I, my thing was like, I'm like, guys, if, if you had just told me what this was going to be from the start, I would have still done this with you. I just would have asked for like, I think the bare minimum of fairness is like, Hey, let me tell my side. Let's do it evenly where I can tell the pro-gun approach while you do the anti-gun thing.

And we do a pretty fair and balanced, to use that expression, little piece there. But we still get to make the content. Because it took multiple days of me and my team, my employees who I pay, all of my guns, my ammo, my shop, our range, all this stuff that they just...

i made zero dollars off of it yeah i was just doing this for fun because i thought it was cool and i thought they were cool guys and at the time they were very fun to hang out with yeah i'll i'll say we had a great time like we were going to lunch and shit like that is something that sucks when you're like we could have been really tight but then you

Yeah, and it's like, dude, what the fuck was up with that? I just don't understand how, I don't know, creators like that just be decent human beings. It's not really that fucking hard, I don't think.

Yeah, they sent out fucking child targets, like cardboard cutouts. Children? Yeah. Wait, why? Why? Cause they, they were making a thing about Uvalde and like, basically like, oh yeah, this is like, you know, if we sent this in for, you know, school security, you know, shit like that. And they like quasi intentionally shot some of the child targets. It's like.

this is getting a little like on the edge. Well, they tried to blame that on us too. They said that we put the targets up, the children targets. Yeah. And it was only because of your vlog that we had video evidence that where I was like, Oh yeah, shit. These got mailed to the shop the other day. I didn't know, like, I didn't know who the, who the fuck these were for.

I thought it was like a demo for a printing company or something.

Can you turn those off?

They got fucking shit on.

Because they're not used to lying about people. And I hope that this is not a common thing. Hopefully, they're not used to lying about people, period. But they're not used to lying about people with an audience who can fight back. Because I immediately did a response video. I was like, hey, guys, this is a little fucked up. What was that all about? I don't think they're bad people. Like, they're...

I don't know. They're bad people.

I just can't imagine doing that to somebody. It's like, really? And sleeping just fine at night?

Even now that they fucked me over, I'm kind of like... Like, I really don't want to throw too much shade, but, like, come on.

Yeah.

I mean, they need it. If you've seen their numbers lately, it's bad.

So that's my theory, is anything becomes a slur when you put dirty fucking in front of it. Doesn't matter what it is.

Yeah.

Yeah, it sucked. I'm just imagining you like pissing in a VR toilet and realizing it's like the end of your wall in the corner. It sucks your dog. Yeah.

Yeah, I like the Marcus side of you on chat. That's pretty funny.

It's so long.

Yeah, yeah. This is why people think people like you need to touch grass. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It's a pleasure to have you on.

Or yeah, it's like, what is a cheeseburger? Whichever thing came to your mind first.

Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

That is like the definition of a clean shoot.

Yeah.