Talya Shelley

You define it.

I don't know how they feel like toys.

I don't. You probably don't notice them because they're not as fabulous.

Hi, honey bunny. Welcome. Hi. Thank you for always putting me on the spot.

You actually ended up meeting someone. When? Which one? When you're like, that one, that one.

I think that one over there, I said, you see my friend over there? And he said, yes. I said, she's gorgeous, isn't she? And he's like, yes. I was like, well, you're in luck because she thinks the same about you. That's so good, Dahlia. So just you come join us. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I'd say I always think the playful route is the best route. So, you know, when in doubt, just be playful, be fearless. Usually the things that you are afraid to say are what they want to hear. Like what? I mean, men are not so complicated, right? Like... at the end of the day, everyone wants to feel good and everyone wants someone to make them, you know, feel special.

And that goes both ways. And I find that a lot of my girlfriends are scared to, you know, share their emotions. However, when you do something in a playful way and you kind of own up to it, and it can almost be, you know, it could almost be a joke, like something so trivial, like, you know... Like what? Something came to mind? Say it. Something did come to mind. Hey, I'm going to work.

And, you know, bumping into you, I just couldn't stop smiling and just sharing. Oh, my God. This is it. What was it? No, it is. That's the stuff you always tell me to say.

Lightning, thunderbolt.

I mean, the way you said it sounds really cheesy, but.

But, yeah, I mean, I think, I think at the end of the day. Ugh. You just got to do you.

Yeah.

And, you know, I think that if you're having fun and you're able to make fun of yourself, you know, and just keep things light, then, you know, energy is energy. People want to be around people that are fun, 30, having a good time.

I do own it. You come and you take over. I come in and I take over. All the staff are crushing on you. Everyone's asking. I love it. When is Brynn coming?

Full frontal. Remember? I do remember that.

I mean, it's funny because it's like, what's that point, right? Like, what's the trigger that gets someone to, you know, do such a bold thing, especially when, you know, when they haven't met you?

Yeah, I do think that you had a funny way of intellectually arousing him. I've been accused of that before. I really did get him off, which I think was really surprising. He was like, hold on a minute. This girl, she looks like a model, but she's probably read as many books as I have. She looks like a model. She talks like a sailor. And then, you know, oh, God. And then after that, you kind of...

I think you had ghosted him, and he got so triggered, and he started sending you essays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, I forgot. Do you remember? He's like, look at the rain swiftly. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He started sending me all this stuff about – He's harassing the window.

That is not my husband.

He was, yes. It was a beautiful penis, too. It was, really. What would I know? Sorry, Dad. Yes.

Yeah. All day, every day, all day. I totally sex, but I'd never forget the cameras. Oh, my God.

But, yeah. Sorry, Etta.

Because I'm an idiot and I love astrology.

I don't believe in that shit. Yeah, she's too smart.

You love taking the piss.

I do, but not the accents. I have the stories, you have the accents.

Yes, yes, I have.

Yes. I always have a different profession every time.

Are you?

Live in London.

It wouldn't be an Uber. It wouldn't be an Uber. I mean, yeah. Shared ride. Shared.

Oh, my gosh. You forget about that. I do. I do forget about that. You do forget.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

I know, but it's funny because, you know, when people meet us, they think, you know, bras out. Guns out. I mean, guns out. Fun, wild. Yeah.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Especially, I mean, especially after midnight.

It's like, no, stop.

Um, well, I was married for a hot second. There you go. For about a year.

It's funny because your friend's trajectory was exactly like mine. Richie's. Yeah, Richie's. So I had goosebumps listening to her. Yeah.

You realize that.

Says Brynn, jack of all trades.

We meet on Riot.

Five dates in.

Oh, 100%, by the way. I think we're getting married. Oh, yeah, for sure.

Where are you?

Yeah.

I was like... You're like, I'm going to show you what's like. Absolutely not. No, I didn't do anything.

But... Dating in London is awesome. I mean, hindsight, you should have just ordered everything on the buffet. I am.

Um, I mean, this is awful. I think that there's, it depends. The last date that I went on, I actually felt completely catfished. I didn't tell you about this. What? What happened? Oh, my God. The guy looked super handsome in his profile and tall. Okay. Not that that matters because, you know, I'm not exactly very tall myself.

But he arrived and he was kind of Polly Pocket size and he was quite nervous. Nothing. The Paul Pocket. The Paul Wee Pocket. The Paul, sorry, the Paul Pocket. No, it's Polly Pocket. Is it? The joke. I made it a very good joke. I'm an idiot. Oh, yeah, okay. Okay. And I don't know. Listen, it's, I think, it, It depends.

You can either have fun with it and just have a good laugh or you're kind of like, oh gosh, all the good ones are taken. Like have fun with it on the date? Like you're laughing at him? No, no, no. Actually, so the last date I had with this guy, I ended up texting my Lebanese guy friend. I'm like, you have to call me and pretend that you're a client of mine.

And that I have to come and see you soon, which is which is awful because, you know, we all do that. And so I left and I had a lot of fun with my friends and I ended up meeting someone else there.

I mean, I've had two dinners. That's a lot of food. How many courses? As long as I'm eating, I'm fine.

I feel that's very easy to do in New York City.

Right?

gelato they're wearing those gelatos and no and they love americans like they think we're like so cute they don't see like the train wreck out of the box yeah oh my god speaking of which do you remember that one time when we were at the pelican and you're like okay my husband's here i just need to find him and i'll share a couple of drinks I do this.

After a couple of drinks, you were just walking around and being like, excuse me, are you my future husband? I did. I love the Pelican. And I don't think anyone said no.

Yeah, that's just when you're having fun, but you're usually quite shy. When I like someone, I'm shy.

Etiquette.

I say etiquette. Etiquette. Manners. Manners. Actually, I do – now that I'm here and I've been living here, I do miss how forward New York men were. I didn't appreciate it at the time. Right. But now I'm like, I'm here. I'm standing here. You've been staring at me. Just walk over and hit on me. Please.

No.

I'm on the sixth one, ready to go. I think that men in London are more professional. Yeah.

And their demeanor.

They are awful drunks though. They do drink. British men do. They can't hold their alcohol.

Yes.