Steph Tolev

Hey, everybody. Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, a little bit of housekeeping. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on Spotify, gang. Part of that creator program. No big deal. Then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. Slash all your garbage you go over there.

I'm well aware of why you're being so rude about it. Rocket Money's dashboard gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts. You log in, beep, boop, bop, boop, boop. It tells you where's everything going. You create a personalized budget with custom categories that help keep your spending on track.

And you see your monthly spending trends in every category to know exactly where your money's going. I love getting the email, hey. You spent this much more this week. You spent this much less this week, this month. Bada-bing, bada-ba, too much on this, not enough there, whatever it is.

Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show, RU Garbage, in the survey to let them know the boys sent you. Don't wait.

Download Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard from the boys and All you garbage do it. Yeah.

They sent us some. My wife was all. Loves it. This is the one that you bring home to the wife. The wife, for the kids, for the dog, for the baby.

And it's something easy you can do. It's very easy to do. It took you, what, like an hour and a half to do the whole house? Not. Minutes. Ten minutes. A minute. It was a thing I put off and put all this. I'll get it. And then you go. That's one of the things you can do and say it takes a little longer. Sure. Keep them off your back a little bit. Crack open a Miller Eyeliner. Uh-huh.

It's do-it-yourself pest control. Other pest control companies charge over $800 per year. But with PESI, you can get started at just $35. There you go. It's easy peasy. It sends everything. Very clear instructions. You mix it up. This is right here. You complete in less than 10 minutes. You walk around the house. You spray. You feel like a man. You're taking care. You're protecting your family.

How were the grades?

Okay?

For?

Cool. Beating up a judge.

What age are we talking about?

Yeah, 15, 16. Yes.

Get all that bonus content, gang.

Don't start doing that. You don't go in. Hey, what's the security system like here? But there was.

You ain't lying.

Sounds like a government.

Reddit's just calling it a juvenile prison. Really? Are you serious? Check out the Wikipedia. Let's find out if you're in the notable alum. I am.

Get eyes on that. Oh, yeah. I'm on there. Let's see what kind of competition she's in.

Sure.

Old world type.

What's she doing now? She seems like a bit of a psycho.

Assault charge. What was the mascot there at East York?

It's not like you guys served a nickel or anything. You have a teardrop on your eye? No, on my tit.

Really? What age did you get that?

No, I kind of knew.

See, she's on the notable one.

Wow, you seem like a delight to be around.

Disney.

Very nice.

Oh, you do. I respect that. Tattoo for everything.

What was the first concert you went to growing up?

That's so Canadian.

That's not bad.

I know Flume. Yeah.

Was it like, I'm sorry, was it? Was there another pool connected to it?

How old were you?

I know. I was just... Take it easy.

Fucking right hook shit.

I read Regis Philbin's IMDB page.

You can just say positive.

It wasn't negative.

Never mind. I got crabs.

Have you ever washed shoes in a washing machine?

Yeah.

She responded so confidently that I'm backpedaling. I've never had any. People go, yeah, that is weird. She's like, yeah, you fucking pussy. I always do. My all-stars. That's not great. It's not? No.

I'm also saying it's not that great. A white all-star high top?

I'm not on fucking trial here, nor is the system, by the way, that has been tried and true for 500 episodes.

Apparently, yeah. I mean, I think a lot of this is just, you know, for clinical research at this point. I think we know the verdict.

What kind of posters did you have on the wall?

Like a writing pen.

I think you might surprise us. We'll see. We'll see. She's got the middle of her nose. It's beautiful. I thought she had a boog going for the first couple of minutes. I was like, Jesus Christ. I didn't see that.

Because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home, and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it so your dollar goes a long way. Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

warm weather hits gang and suddenly everyone is juggling vacations visitors zero routine hydro brings everyone back that structure you can get quick efficient workouts and it keeps you feeling grounded no matter what the calendar looks like baby the good folks over at hydro have been nice enough to send us a machine and i gotta tell you it's a secret weapon for a full body workout and as you know kippy's getting into shape

It hits like 86% of your muscles. You got your arms, your legs, your core, all of it, and knock it out in 20 minutes. Super efficient and actually works. Whether you're training hard or just trying to stay active, Hydro really meets where you're at. It's low impact, easy on the joints. Even a big man can do it, but you still get the perfect mix of strength and cardio. You never get bored.

Hydro's got tons of workouts. Actual Olympians that they're filmed in these gorgeous outdoor spots all over the world makes it easy to stay engaged and motivated. And if you're on the fence, there's free shipping, a 30-day risk trial. Hydro offers a full year warranty. So honestly, there's no pressure. Just try it and see how it feels. Skip the gym not to work out. Stay on track with Hydro.

For a limited time, go to hydro.com and use the code garbage to save up to $475 off your Hydro Pro Rower during Hydro's Memorial Day Sale. That's hydro, H-Y-D-R-O-W.com. Code garbage to save up to $475. Hydro.com. Code garbage. Do it. Wow. Did you go to prom?

Whose idea was this? Mine, of course. And you're like, hey, what was his name, Justin? Justin. Hey, Justin, was Justin... He was into it. Was he romantically involved with anybody? Why did he not go with the...

And is anybody else doing it?

And, like, with a gal.

I got to say, those people typically, the people on the announcement crew, you did the announcement crew, student government, and were in the theater department.

You think it was an inside job.

I don't know what's going on. Sounds like something out of fucking Saved by the Bell.

North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Canada. All tickets available at RUgarbage.com. Let's get to the show. Let's start the show.

They're dirtbags anyway.

Should have done it. Should have made that a clip.

So they took your yearbook.

They wrote ugly. Or a detective trying to get to the bottom of the case.

Yeah, I never...

Adrian Brody. That's so specific.

Steph.

Yeah, last one was Jordan Jensen, so you're in good company.

No. I mean... All right, so high school was bumpy. High school was bumpy. I was touching good.

Then college. College, you know, and then now you're a successful comedian.

Yes, a lot.

I think your hair's getting more coiffed as the episode goes on. What the fuck? In a good way or a bad way?

Henry to hair.

Nice joint. What neighborhood is this in? It's not a great neighborhood. Phoenix, Arizona? Where the fuck is this?

That's a bad neighborhood if he says. I know.

It's okay. Okay.

It's so cheap. It's so clean. It's so good.

Wait, they're hammered.

Yeah, that's weird. And it's weird how excited you are about it.

Also, you're like, Happy Gilmore's my favorite movie, so it's like the third lead. So he's living in New York. You're obsessed with the third lead's nephew?

No smell. We take care of it. We clean them. Me and him have our own mics even on the road when we do road clients like very much.

Why?

So I'm like, I'm going to pay for the fucking internet when he's not even fucking there. How long has he been living there?

All right.

Some sort of normalcy is involved. Finally, we're getting to something. Although you are dating Shooter McGavin's nephew, which is like, it's absurd at that.

Okay.

You do? It's a go-to meal.

You have the one that you put in and crank, or do you have, like, the small one? No, the small one that you just turn the top on.

Sitting at the table. Talking.

Well, you plate the takeout, or do you eat it out of the carton?

You'll plate it. So you'll bring the bag in, go to the kitchen, plate it up.

Okay. What's in the fridge currently right now? Absolutely nothing. Nothing. Because you're on the road?

Pickles, that's going down. That's pointing in your direction. How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken?

9.99?

I gotta be honest with you. I don't fucking know.

Okay.

That's like what people who cook meth do.

He fishes, but he doesn't do much hunting.

Do you own any weapons, a knife, a brass knuckle?

A trailer hitch?

Gotcha. Have you ever ordered soda with no ice?

From what I'm picking up, yeah. Jesus Christ. Do you chew your ice?

If you're making scrambled eggs, will you crack the egg and put the shell back in the carton?

Yeah, you do.

It's really cheap, too. What's a go-to drink for Steph Toloff? I apologize.

All right, my bad.

Oh

What's on the rider?

Pretty classy. That's pretty classy. That's not bad. And water, obviously. That's pretty classy. Are there any paper plates or red Solo cups in your apartment right now?

Wow.

Not bad. Have you ever skied in jeans?

You have a hemorrhoid?

Working.

I don't think anybody's grandparents were attractive. Some, no. They were very, like, utilitarian back in the day. They were, like, in the mines and shit. Nobody was good-looking.

Did the doctor see that?

It's not great. You don't want to be breaking new ground on this show.

Have you ever pulled a fire alarm? No. Okay. Have you ever intentionally given someone the wrong directions?

Have you ever driven with headphones in?

In the Subaru.

Have you been to a HomeGoods, a Marshalls, or TJ Maxx in the last 30 days?

Yeah, I was at a Marshalls very recently. Will you eat over the sink?

Are you an electric toothbrush or manual? Electric.

Yeah, toilet brush. I brought hemorrhoids. No, I got my bidet for the hemorrhoids. There you go. Is there any milk crates in your apartment?

I'm upside down right now.

Okay.

That would be great if it was socially acceptable for me to do jumpsuits. What's the deodorant situation?

Will you use the pool at a hotel?

Okay. She just means in a dirty glass. I mean in a solo cup. In a coffee cup. Do you know how to use chopsticks?

No. Do you know anybody that worked at Hooters?

Okay. Any turquoise jewelry?

All right, take it easy. If you go to a restaurant, will you ask to change tables? Yeah, I've done that. Under what circumstances?

No.

Is it a barbecue place?

Okay.

Okay.

You're shitting on our chairs. You're about to shit on our chairs. No, that's okay. No, these were more comfortable than those chairs.

I got you.

I don't go on the set a lot, so... Will you send food back and under what circumstance? No.

How do you get the steak cooked? Medium rare. Gentlemen. Okay.

She's got three out of a hundred.

What the hell?

Really?

You're finishing it.

You think Shooter McGavin's nephew can't put down a T-bone stick?

Nothing, I think.

I mean, like, listen, this is just for the love of the game. I think she could pull out of this.

I'll give you that. Do you have a go-to karaoke song?

I get really nuts. Have you ever farted in your hand and made someone else smell it?

Hey, here's 50 bucks. Marry my daughter, will you?

Okay.

The people's jam. Well... Have you ever ordered a shot of Fireball?

No, inside the fridge. Fridge, fridge, fridge. Okay. What kind of air freshener do you got in the car?

I forgot about the Canadian bags.

How am I making it worse? That's enough. You need to stop talking. Seriously. Oh, God. Let's cut to commercial real quick. We'll be right back with the roots, everybody.

Really?

Jesus. Kippy, what do you got for them? Guys, we're over the road. Tour dates are on sale. Get them at RUGarbage.com. Also, we have some card games left. RUGarbage.com. Love yous. Steph, we love you. Thanks for having me. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Peace.

I kind of respect that, though. It's my property.

Okay. Where in Canada is this? Toronto. That's all in Toronto.

Yeah, let's see it. Do you have a picture of your dad's wiener? These Canadians are weird. These Bulgarians party, dude.

But my dad had a big sack, or he has a big sack, I would presume.

At what age did you realize this? Did you suspect it?

You don't walk away from a hog like that. Those are hard to come by.

He walked into the dealership, showed him the bulge.

At what age do they meet in high school? Do they have kids young?

My siblings are idiots.

He is not. That guy's got ice water running through his veins.

She got new faces? No, she did.

This Dave Becky guy says that. I told him we're going to do lunch tomorrow. Huh. What were vacations like growing up? Just dancing.

I would never guess. So it was like that.

Were you in the world championship? No, it was dog shit.

Okay.

Number one in my heart. Number 99 on the call sheet. Number one in my heart. Wow.

I'm kidding.

You'll get used to it. I think you missed there, big guy. I'm asking because it might have been in the dancing world. Who was the most famous person you met as a kid? Was it like, holy shit, there's the world champion? It didn't have to be a superstar, but somebody, even local celebrity?

Check him out.

There he goes, whipping around.

I know who you're thinking of. I can't think of the guy's name. No, I think it was five days ago. Rock stars on ice. Kurt Browning and Elvis DeJaco share preview of their tour. I told you. Wow. I've been watching a lot of Good Morning America. This guy loves Kurt Browning.

He's a rock star on ice. He's no fucking schlub.

Did you have cable?

on Fridays. What was the house like growing up? Was it like a standalone single family home? Was it a townhouse, apartment?

And what was the family car growing up?