Stacey Rutherford
Appearances
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Well, it's like, I remember saying to him when we were dating, jokingly, I'm not trying to be a single mom again to two small children. I've done it. I don't want to do it again. OK, I'm just letting you know that you're either going to be married to me or I'm going to soak the life out of you for child support. So just be prepared for whichever one you want.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
And, you know, he'd always say to me, I wouldn't do what your first husband did to you and just walk out on you and basically leave you with nothing. And it's frustrating to be told you'll never have to worry about that again, Stacey. You'll never have to worry about anything like this. And to have more children, I love them and I wouldn't trade that. Of course.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
But, you know, I wouldn't have necessarily decided to have two more children in my late 30s if I thought that I was going to be raising them by myself.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Oh, no. It's just that, like, how dare you? Yeah. How dare you promise so many things that you had to know deep down you were never going to be able to follow through? You know, it's just, it's, I don't know. There's days that I think to myself that I'm not the mom that I want to be. I don't want my kids to remember that I cried a lot or that I was sad.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Or that I was just angry all the time because I've gotten, I think, to a level of anger a lot lately. Like, I just feel like I'm really angry at the world and men and people. And I don't want them to remember that. I'm just angry. Yeah. I'm just angry that so many of these things were taken away from all of us.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Well, to start, I have, like, not been the greatest lately about my going to therapy and everything. I've kind of let myself get in a rut lately. Like I find myself, you know, declining plans all the time. You know, I'm good. I'm just going to stay home or my bra is already off, girl. You know, I ain't putting that back on. But I also think to myself, is that contributing to me?
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Do I need to force myself to do these things? Because am I just making it worse by staying home and festering on the fact that I'm alone and isolating and things like that? But I don't know. I just I think that was part of writing the letter to him was I just I just want you to know. This is the kind of stuff that you have left me with.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I mean, it did make me feel better at some point to write it. It just happened to be the one that I mailed. I don't know. I just must have been impulsive that day because the rest of them never made it.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
And I do believe that you will get there. It's just like you said, it ebbs and flows. I felt like it's really hung on lately. But I also say to my sister too, sometimes like, I look at where I am now and I look at where I was three years ago and there is a difference. So I can see change and I can see that I have happy moments and that I enjoy life and things like that.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I don't just sit around, you know, and cry all the time. I obviously go have fun, but I just have my moments, you know, and it hits at just different times. And this year lately, it's been hanging on.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
He'd always say to me, I wouldn't do what your first husband did to you and just walk out on you and basically leave you with nothing. And it's frustrating to be told you'll never have to worry about that again, Stacey. It's just that, like, how dare you? How dare you promise so many things that you had to know deep down you were never going to be able to follow through?
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Oh, I absolutely knew he was going to appeal. There's no way he wasn't going to find some kind of loophole. I mean, my sister and I've had tons of conversations where She said to me, the law library is going to know him. He's going to be there. He's going to try to find a loophole. You just need to prepare for this to be a regular thing for him to try to find ways out of this.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
From what I understand... He is appealing the length of the sentence that he believes it was too harsh. And he's appealing his access to the children.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
Are you prepared for that being changed? I wanted to give them that window of them being little. to them to get to 18, you know, to say, okay, I can make an informed decision whether or not I want to talk to my biological father or not. The judge extended it past that 18. For the length of his sentence. For the length of his sentence.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
And the only thing that Tyler and I had talked about was that they should be able to decide at 18 if they want to speak to him or not. As far as him getting anything granted back to him, you know, when they're children, at the end of the day...
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I have custody of them I'm the one that would have to accept the phone calls from him I'm the one that would have to put money on my account for them to speak to him so I don't care if his rights get given back to him to talk to them it still has to go through me right and I don't have any desire for him to speak to my children Yeah.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
And, you know, I will support them if that's something that they want when they get of an age to make those kind of decisions where they know everything that happened, because I understand that they probably will maybe someday want that.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I've done it a few times in the last few months and never mailed anything. Right. I would write it and I would hold on to it. And then I would just throw it away. Yeah. One of the ones that I threw away was pretty vicious. And my sister was like, yeah, I don't think you should send that because you might go to jail for a threat. Because it was just in the moment I was very angry.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I just think when you are going through everything first being found out, you're like living on adrenaline and you're just in survival mode. And then as soon as the trial stuff starts, then you're dealing with all of that. And I don't think you really have time to sit down and deal with like everything. So you just put first what needs to be put first.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I think after all the stuff was done with both of the court cases and everything like that, things felt settled down a little bit. But I think that's when all the other shit starts to kick in. You know, the missing things and hurting and then being angry and
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I just, I think I was more just like, what? What the fuck? Like, this is what we're worried about, like him making sure that the kids have a gift from him. And oh, but, you know, isn't it nice that you're allowing someone else to buy that for you to give to them so that you don't have to spend any of your money that you need to spend on your lawyer for, you know, a gift for your kids?
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I don't know. It just it rubbed me wrong. And I was just salty for a little bit about it.
Betrayal: Season 4
S3: BONUS EP 1 — An Update from Stacey and Tyler
I am able to buy my kids things. It's not like I'm totally destitute. But you're using a charity for children who may not get a single thing. When you know good and well you have money in your account, so you want to come in and be fun daddy, you know, ooh, look, daddy sent us a present, when you really didn't do anything behind that.