Simon Perkovich
Appearances
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
What's up, everybody? Let me gauge the room. What do we think of trans athletes? Who? Why? I love trans athletes. Trans athletes are the best thing to ever happen to women's sports. Yeah. Case in point, right now, we're talking about women's sports. Look at the ratings. Did you guys know there's a WNBA? We haven't cared this much about women's sports since the 20s.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
And back then it was like, dude, should we let women play sports? Now it's the 20s again and we're like, bro, should we play women's sports? And I feel the ladies pulling away. I get it, you're mad, because you're jealous, you know? We make better women than you. We've got stronger legs. We're faster. We've got bigger dicks. That's me.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
Like three years. Where at? Telluride, Colorado. Wow, what's it like up in Telluride? It sucks.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
Yeah, Telluride sucks. Don't ski there. It's a terrible resort. Why? It used to be really cool. It was like a hippie ski town. Now it's like Oprah lives there. They turned every cool thing into a condo. Ah. Kind of like Austin.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
Yeah, I don't think she can breathe up there. We've never seen her, but she's got the biggest property in our area.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
So Simon, tell us more about you. What do you do for work? I was a bartender. Now I'm trying to figure it out. I want to work for farms and stuff around here. I went to the farmer's market, just dropped off my resume with a bunch of people. Haven't heard anything back. What kind of farming do you want to do? Yeah.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
I used to be a mushroom farmer. I'd grow medicinal mushrooms. I've worked on a pig farm. I've worked on an apple farm. Organic stuff. Okay. Okay. Yeah. All right. You're a little hippy-dippy, huh? I'm a little hippy-dippy. I think that if you don't make food in some way, you're kind of useless. Uh-huh.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
Hell yeah, Halloween. Did you dress up for Halloween? Yeah, I have this robe that I do drugs and walk the desert in, and it kinda looks like the dude, so I was the dude for Halloween.
KILL TONY
#694 - SHAWN GARDINI + TOMMY POPE
No, not yet. You know what? I do have something weird on my dick, though. Oh. Anyone heard of lichen sclerosis? No. Tell us more. Okay. I tell people it's a birthmark. It sucks. It's Latin for it looks like there's lichen on your cock. And it's just like pale, it's just a little whiter, just on my dick, and it kind of grows a little bit. Oh, fucking disgusting. It is.