Shino
Appearances
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Shino is my high school nickname. My full name is Sean Shinojara. My father, Masanori Shinohara, was born and raised in the largest city on planet Earth. Largest, arguably most interesting city on the face of the planet. Anybody know what city I'm talking about? Any anime fans? Tokyo, Japan.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
And can I take a second to appreciate the fact that if you had just stayed in Tokyo, I'd be fully Japanese right now and not this half Mexican abomination. And what, I'm in construction? No, no, no. If I was born in Tokyo, I'd have been like a computer programmer or Pokemon designer or samurai. Yeah, those are all real applications in Tokyo. Those are all real applications. Interviews are free.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Fuck around. Find out. You might wind up Lord of the Shogunate, like Lord Turanaga. My Shogun fans. But nah, he didn't stay, he didn't stay. When he was 25 years old, he moved from the largest, arguably most interesting city on the face of the planet, right? To where, right? To Corpus Christi, Texas. Corpus Christi, Texas. You know what's in Corpus? You know what's in Corpus, huh?
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
A whole bunch of Mexicans. A whole slew of Mexicans. And eventually, right, eventually, he knocked up some Mexican, my mom or whatever. All right, the bear has joined the chat.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Mm-hmm. It's been 23 Mondays, Tony. It's been 25 Tonys because sometimes you have two in one day.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
I worked a lot before I came here. I was just like, I'm going to come to Austin. I worked a lot. I was going to save up. What? Save up. Save money. You saved up. What did you do to save money?
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
I'm a glazer. I do commercial glass installation. Okay. I'm on the side of a building, 85 floors up, on a swing stage.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
It's enough. Actually, you know what? I have started driving for Uber. I was running low on... Let's go back to my original question.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
And I was like, you know what? It's going to take me two months to get on Kill Tony. No, it's been a long time.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
No, no, no. You know, I have savings. I'm 45 years old, Tony. I graduated from Texas A&M 20 years ago, bro. Mm-hmm.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Okay, I moved here to an Airbnb, right? I rented the master bedroom. It has its own bathroom, right? And then, like, after the first month, I was like, hey, bro, let's go off. Let's forget about Airbnb. Let's just do our own thing. So I'm just renting a room in this house. Look, Tony. I've done a lot of things in my life. I've taught English in Thailand.
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
I've graduated from... I didn't want to do any of those things. Tony, this is the first time I've ever had a clear goal in my life. I moved to Austin for this, Tony!
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
I did them for a long time, for the first, like, till January, and then, like, it had been, like, 15 Mondays, and I was just like, ah!
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Okay, well, like I said, I taught English in Thailand, but that wasn't the most craziest things I've seen. I've been to prison twice in Texas. What? Yeah, man. What did you say? You've been to what? Prison twice? Yeah. For what? Drinking and driving, what comedians get, you know. Both times?
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
Not these days, because there's Uber and stuff, but my last DWI was 11 years ago, so, like, you know what I'm saying? But how did you go to prison twice for DUI? Well, Tony, you get enough of them, they send you to prison. How many did you get? I got four. The first two?
KILL TONY
KT #720 - CARROT TOP
I got two. Okay, look, look, look. I got two at university, and I graduated, right? I came to Houston to do sales and marketing.