Sheldon (Jonathan's Uncle)

It's like we're on a safari.

We invited him to your bar mitzvah, and he returned a very cold card. Sorry, we will not be attending. It was, you know, so mean. You know what I mean? Even the writing...

I'm relaxed. I'm kind of old to get anxious, you know what I mean?

A little bit apprehensive now.

Yeah. It's going to be very strange. I mean, the man is a stranger to me now, and yet he's my brother. You understand? It's a very strange feeling.

I wonder if he's getting nervous. Maybe. Because he's waiting for us, right?

Is this his door? I'll double check. Oh, here he is. Hey.

This is Jonathan.

I smell a good smell of cigar.

Now there's things I want to know. You said that Rainy died. Yeah, she did die.

The uncle died. The uncle died? He was the youngest brother. Oh, he died long ago. He died, eh? Oh, you know who died? Who? Hoffman. Hoffman? A real prick. Yeah, I didn't know him that well. A real prick. Yeah, yeah. Knish. Oh, that shocked him. Yeah, he was fat. He was fat. Redhead. Redhead, right. Yeah, yeah. Knish.

Remember the hallabaloo he had with the hair dyer, that heavyset girl? She was a manicurist. She was a hair dyer. Manicurist. No, she was a hair dyer. Here's what happened. She went over to Irving.

I found her body. I did. I opened the door. No. I did. My mother was across the street at Greenberg. I remember walking in. I looked in on her. And I knew she was dead as soon as I saw her. I never saw a dead body in my life, but I knew she was dead.

I remember looking in on the room to see how she was. I said it was awfully quiet.

Some credit. Some credit.

Smacking her around, yeah. She ran out. Yeah. So what happened the next morning?

Yeah. Look in the closet, her clothes were gone. She left.

And they came back to try to get you. They wanted you to come back with them. And where were you? I was there, but they were trying to drag you out of the house.

I didn't know about it either until you told me. Yeah.

We didn't know.

Why? We got nice neighbors. It's nice. It's okay. What was I going to say?

Oh, about 35, 38 years. Something like that. I'm happy to.

He sent me. Oh, Dominican Republic. They make a damn good cigar in Dominican Republic.

Yeah, but you were kind of a favorite with my mom.

Can't remember.

I'll never forget that. That was terrible.

Yeah.

He took Sheldon once. Sheldon happened to say the word fuck.

With debacle. And, you know, I can understand it leaving a feeling of resentment and dislike.

Yeah.

He wasn't that easy, but he was tough on Sheldon. I know you were closer to him than I was.

So you had a different take?

But I was a kid. I didn't understand it.

You know, it's sad that my father had such a negative impact on him, you know? Just awful. Because he had so much going for him. He was a wonderful son. He worked hard. He was a good boy. He went to school.

No, you weren't a failure. That's the thing that I'm saying. You weren't a failure. But all I'm saying is that emotionally, he left an impact on you.

They put a lot of the responsibility on him that my dad should have been taking that responsibility. And he shouldered that.

He was good to me. A lot of times I was mean to you. Yeah, mean, you know. You were my older brother. You used to knock the shit out of me sometimes. But, you know, that's the way it is with brothers. Well, I was good in some ways. Some ways I was mean. Who was not? Who was not? Who was not?

Sure. Easy answer, yes. Yes, because we're not getting any younger. What's down the road? I'm 80, he's 85. Right? I mean, because there was a lot of water under the bridge and we want to close that bridge now. I want to feel easy now. I want to say now he's going to be 86. I want to call him on his birthday and say happy birthday to him now.

I'm not going to stand in any fucking ceremonies anymore.

If anything happens, I'll take care of the cat. I'll take care of the cat. I'm happy I came to see you. That I am.

You know that?

This has taken a lot off my shoulders.

Remember the older brother? The oldest one.

Press where to and then type. Do you have an address? Yeah, I do. Okay.