Shannon

Who are you? Why do I have to answer questions to you? I don't even know who I'm talking to at this point. You think I'm just going to answer some questions for some people I've never talked to before?

You're not Jacob's friend. He called the radio station. Now he's your friend?

Jacob is my friend. Like, I still want him to be part of my life.

Couldn't we stay friends? Are you insane? I even asked my fiance to have our wedding in like a year so you could have some time to heal because you are a good friend and I want you there. I want you in my life. What?

You guys, you don't know me, but I'm not a bad person. Yes, maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I should have broken up with Jacob earlier, but I'm not a bad person. Maybe?

Hey, I wish Jacob well. I hope he has a great life.

Hello?

I said I don't feel like talking right now.

Because you just seem really upset about something that, honestly, I do not feel like talking about.

Okay, then just, you know what? Just move on. What do we have to hash out? We don't have to hash out anything.

Yeah. What is that?

Jacob. Jacob. I don't want to hurt you.

It's hard to explain.

Well, you know my friend Sierra, right?

Okay, so... A couple months ago, she set up this, like, hangout with some old friends. She was saying we hadn't seen them in a while. Could I just come and catch up?

I'm getting there. This is not, this isn't easy, okay? So, one of the guys who was there at the hang, like, well, he was my ex.

So, we hooked up. Oh. And... I didn't know what to say to you because you're so sweet to me. Oh, my God. And I started dating him again. What? Oh, my God. I know it's messed up. I know. But in my head, I was like, I've always just wanted to have a forever relationship, be married. And so I had it in my head that I was just going to say yes to whoever proposed first.

And he proposed a few nights ago.

No, no. I am, I'm engaged to someone else. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. No.

What is that? What's going on? Oh.

Hi, Charlie. Thank you for having me.

I'm well, thank you. I'm a teacher in Western New York and just wondering what so what happens if if they do eliminate the Department of Education, like in a blue state like mine, where right now I have more trust in the federal government than I do in the leadership here in my state.

Thank you.

Maybe Charlie Kirk is on the college campus.

Well, I would assume that once my sister is settled and with a job that she would be able to take over the mortgage. I guess refinancing and I guess getting his name off of that mortgage. How old is your sister?

I am actually 60. She is going to be 62 in February.

She has a very small pension that she's collecting on. She started that early because of leaving her latest job. Does she have any money to her name? No.

I'm sorry. I actually don't live in New York. New York would be the biggest, closest to me. That was the question. So where you live, where you live, what is, okay.

Um, as far as, um, if, for her to buy a home well i mean for her to live in a house that she needs or wants to i mean you're the one saying that you should buy or something so i'm just trying to see what you guys have looked at that would suit her needs her her buying a home would be contingent upon selling the selling of my mom's house sure and what would you guys get for that

And I would say that, um, pro approximately between 80 and $90,000. I am one of seven. So, um, we are all on the deep, so it's one seventh of. of the entire sale.

I'm sorry. No, it's, um, it's 90,000 would be one, one seventh. All of us would probably collect. Okay. Got it. Possibly. Yes. Okay. Um, so we're, we're trying to sell the home now. So in other words, her, her, Obtaining a home close to me would be contingent upon the sale of my mom's house. Sure. I have also agreed because I'm in a position where I don't work. I don't have to. We're well set.

Probably not doable simply because of the pet situation. There are two dogs and a cat that one being my mom's pet and, and June, her, her, my sister's dog as well. Can she afford to take care of these pets? She can. I mean, are you asking me if she would give them up?

Well, um, um, unfortunately, from what I understand about having to meet so much criteria, of having a job for the past six months or that.

Hi there. Hi everyone. What's going on? Well, um, I would love to be able to help my sister obtain a mortgage. Um, since the death of my mom and August, um, he finds herself in a position of, um, needing a place to live. I want her to move very close to me in the same town, hopefully. And unfortunately, because she was my mother's caretaker for the last six years, she did not have an income.

Maybe $300 in credit card debt. That's something that she pays the minimum balance on.

My husband does not want to co-sign on a mortgage for her. Why not? I'm having a hard time with that.

He told me I'm 62 years old. We just paid off our own home. I do not want my name on another mortgage for the rest of my life. I'm having a hard time with that as a reason because it most likely would be a temporary situation.

Hi, thank you for taking my call. Sure, what's up? I'm in a mess. Uh-oh. Well, I don't know. This is dramatic. Okay, so my mortgage payment is $4,500 a month. And, uh, we just bought this house in June and, um, the income has changed. And so I own my own business. So it's, it's definitely, um, it fluctuates, but I make between, uh, four to 6,000 a month.

And then, uh, my husband has an income of, of 4,000 a month currently. Okay. So, That is, that's what we're looking at.

Well, probably no, no, that is probably not. Um, there, we own another house too. I don't know. How much do you want to know?

So we, we moved and, um, we, we had another home and, um, We were trying to sell it, and apparently when we went into escrow and inspection and stuff, the foundation needed to be replaced, and that was like $140,000. So long story short, we still have that home. Did you fix the foundation? No. We are working on that because it's $140,000. This has just been, anyway.

So we owe about $650,000 on it, and it was being listed for $1.1 million, but with the foundation issue, all the buyers were scared to even take it. So with the rent, we make $1,400 profit a month.

Um, uh, So we applied for permits and we're waiting on that. It can take up to five months. So we've just been working through that the last couple months. How would you pay for it? Exactly. I would have to pull out a HELOC and the whole thing is just a nightmare.

Well, we tried just to give it away for even $950.

Well, we do owe about $150,000 in solar.

Um, my, well, originally it was, it was my husband's job. He's, he's been in the military forever. So we moved here and anyway, we're staying here. Um, Yeah. Okay. So Shannon shouldn't have bought this house, but yeah.

So we bought it for $460,000 and when I just called a realtor, I got a Dave Ramsey realtor and she told me because we bought it just in June that we'd probably with closing costs and everything probably take about a $30,000 loss. Yeah, okay.

I mean, she's like, I don't know. Based on it, yeah.

Yeah, so rent here is amazing. Well, relative. So we could get a rent, the same equivalent home for maybe $2,000 or $2,200 a month at the most.

And I'm just want to give her the right information for her financial security for her life. If it's a good thing for her to be on the mortgage of this $600,000 property. Is she in school? She is a junior and she also is a real estate agent and she is making about $50,000 a year.

Yes, and that's what I thought. But he's citing to her and saying to her that we signed a legal agreement and that she has to be on the refinance.

She didn't. My attorney said that, here it is, he said she is not a part of the settlement agreement. That her signature acknowledges that she's aware that it took place, but it doesn't bind her to any terms of the settlement.

All three of ours.

Yes, and I think she can afford her own partner, and I think she's at the stage in her life where that's what she can do and wants to do, but her younger brother and sister also want to live in this townhouse.

I know.

Financial reasons. Because he's not a person of character?

Yes, because he does things like this to me constantly, and I've wasted a whole bunch of my personal money. So that's why I got out for financial things we kept getting into that me and my family had to pay to get us out of.

I agree. And we have this legal agreement that he has to refinance by March 1st and December 15th. I got an email from a title company and he's now wants to assume the mortgage because I definitely know that he'll save a lot of money on the interest rate.

Right. I don't know if he can actually qualify. I think that's why he needs our daughter to help qualify.

I know I tried, but it's... Yeah, he's just very convincing and... And he's had renters in and out, but can't keep renters in there. And there was even one time when there was a renter who was an ex-con and he didn't do a background check living with my two children.

Yeah, I agree.

21 now.

Yes. And that's exactly why I called you guys because I didn't know what else to do. I kind of tried those things and, um, Her dad is very convincing and she wants to help.

She's a really good kid.

Yes. Yes.

Yes, hello. Hey.

I agree. Yeah.

Oh, okay, so I'm calling because my ex-husband and I bought a townhouse for our children to live in during college, and then four months later I filed for divorce. Our divorce was final, but in the divorce they didn't split up the property because my oldest daughter was on the title in the mortgage. So then after that, I had to get a real estate attorney.

And we're now at the point where we have a legal agreement for my ex to refinance the property and get my name off the property. Or if he doesn't do that by March 1st, then we sell it. But this is... being contentious. And my issue is for my daughter. He's telling my daughter that she has to be on the refinance of the property.

Hi, I'm good. I am Shannon. I'm 27 years old, and I'm a lifelong vegetarian, and I'm wondering if that's worth changing for a man.

Lifelong. All 27 years of my life.

Never, ever. And yeah, it's kind of some unique circumstances for it because I'm the only one in my entire family. And so I grew up in the Northeast and kind of decided from a very young age with a good friend of mine who's basically like a sister that... We loved animals too much and didn't want to eat meat. And we grew up at a boarding school where both of our dads taught.

So we just ate at the dining hall and didn't really have to have our parents cook for us. So they respected that. And then all these years later, just kind of stuck. Gotcha.

It's a moose.

Yes, it is. Now I live out in the West in a really rural area where hunting and meat is very prominent. And that's why it's become an issue, particularly in my dating life, because everybody where I live eats meat. That's the main part of their diet. And for me, it obviously isn't. And I tried to kind of not bring that up right away, but people eventually learn and then They kind of write me off.

So wondering if I should start eating meat to give me a better chance at love and dating or if I should stick to my guns.

I have a man in my life right now. There's been many men who have pressured me since moving to where I live now to do it. And so now I'm currently in this casual relationship with this guy out where I live. He's born and bred. So he pretty much eats elk for every single meal, every day. That's all he eats. Elk, yeah. So there's big hunting in elk.

He kills his own elk, eats his own elk, all those things. Yeah, that's it. He's a carnivore.

I wouldn't know. Yeah. So this is the guy particularly right now I consider quote unquote changing it for, but it's also kind of difficult because we're in a relationship where he's a little bit older than me. He has kids and wants to move closer to where his kids are and that's his priority. So we likely won't stay together forever and ever, but yeah,

part of me is like but if i ate meat would you consider making things work whereas me being a vegetarian he says i there's i look at my refrigerator i can't cook anything for you we can't eat dinners together he doesn't want to cook something for someone if he's not going to eat it like he's not going to make me a vegetarian meal so is that more of a problem with the relationship yeah

and so it's kind of double double-sided this particular relationship and just in general where i live it is so prominent and why do you i just change it now why do you live where you live out of curiosity well so yeah i i moved out west so i live in like the least populated state in one of the least populated counties so just my chances of love

Yeah, Wyoming. You nailed it. I moved out here to work for a ranch a while back and then just loved it so much. I stayed and loved the community aspect. There's so many amenities in terms of we have a really nice gym and library. There's access to the outdoors.

Absolutely. I love where I live. Yeah. And so kind of right now I feel stuck with a triangle of I can only choose two of the three things, either staying a vegetarian, staying where I live, or finding love. Where if I want to find a long-term sustainable relationship and stay a vegetarian, I have to move elsewhere and I can't really get all three where I live.

And see, that's my thing where now in my life, I don't really have a full on reason not to eat meat. Whereas... I mean, I'm healthy. I like my body where I'm kind of like if it ain't broke. So I don't want to introduce a foreign object to my body and throw the system off. But I understand like we're carnivores. We're supposed to eat meat.

My body would adapt, but I'm not... Yeah, I wouldn't start with a porterhouse steak.

Everyone... No, like nothing ever, ever.

And everybody has their own opinion on it.

The person that's wanting to cook it and break it for me. So yeah. And that's the thing too, where my mental hurdle of, should I do this for... this man in my life to see if things will work out better? Should I just do it just in general to take that off the plate within relationships? Or should I stick to my guns and just when I want to, it'll come?

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Yeah. Even in social settings, not just romantic. It's such a big deal. Anytime I'm hanging out with friends and I mean, food is just a central part of social gatherings and I don't even bring it up to people. I just like bring my own food or eat beforehand and I'm just there to socialize.

And all of a sudden it's like walking around with a scarlet letter of like, look at the vegetarian and that's getting exhausting as well.

And especially again, where I am is just such an extreme, extreme version of it, where it's not just the gluten free person or whatever. It's the vegetarian in meat country.

So yeah, and for now, and I would be willing to consider moving at some point if it does seem like it's even still, like I said, I live in Wyoming, the least populated state, and I'm in one of the least populated counties. So just the odds of finding my person statistically are lower, no matter what, what things are out there. So should I just move somewhere else and find someone?

And we always joke like import somebody to where I live now and come back to it. Or should I keep searching where I am?

And I don't even think I want to date a vegetarian either. Like the men I'm attracted to and the general types of vegetarian men that are out there wouldn't even be my type. Or should I change my type? Yeah.

And I can't blame someone for that. So yeah. Yeah. But part, I know how ridiculous it's going to sound, but to give you an idea of just my stubbornness and the fact that it has been my entire life, not just like 10 years, I've never used the bathroom on an airplane before ever in my life. And I have traveled all across the world. And it's just like a stubbornness thing.

I have had to pee on planes. I know I should pee on a frigging airplane, but I was like, I've never done it. I don't want to do it. So if I'm that stubborn about peeing on an airplane, For something as big as being a vegetarian my entire life, I feel like that's going to be a hard streak to break. And then look back thinking, I ate meat because of this for this person or whatever.

It's just going to be something I live with and think about for the rest of my life. But I also might be like, I have missed out on this for 27 years.

Yeah.

Well, if I eat meat, people will care. It'll be like a huge deal and a huge celebration. That part is going to be a whole thing.

Yeah, is that and the moment that I do eat the meat will just be so prominent of I'm overthinking it and wanting it to be the right reason and not be like, I ate this for this guy and it didn't work out with him.

I allowed my friend to cook it for me, not my own father. Shouldn't he have the honor? Because it's been 27 years of buildup, it's becoming a bigger deal to me than it probably should be where I should just try it. If I like it, great. If I don't, or should I force myself to eat it and like it to give me a chance at

That does make sense. So I just don't know then where to start. And again, that's kind of me overthinking of it. If I should... I think you should go pee in a plane. Well, yeah, that might be the first step. Break all the streaks. Where, yeah, I should... I just don't know where to start or who...

who and how to break it's not like it's something i can just do in my home because i don't know how to cook meat i don't even have meat in my refrigerator where it does need to involve another person okay and so what person should that be where should i start and i helped one of my friends um hike out an elk that she shot again all back to the elk it's big hunting out here i wouldn't help the friend hike out her elk that huh let's start with chicken

we'll see everybody has their opinion so some people out here say start with the elk other people take chicken and then fish and so i just feel connected to this elk that i helped her hike out of knowing where it came from all that but there's so many types of meat out there i don't know what to try and i don't want to go to mcdonald's and try a chicken nugget for the first one yeah i wouldn't do that either uh where yeah where to start if i do decide to go this route

Yeah, careful.

Again, I'm not the expert on meat, so probably. I don't know what it's going to do to my body and...

Okay, great. And then I don't know how, I guess, how long do you think I should give it a chance for? If I eat it, I don't like it. Do I just keep, keep eating it until I convince myself I like it?

Not much. Because that's the thing. I'm not intrinsically like, oh, I wish I could have that. Because if I did, I would have. Again, I don't have big enough reasons not to.

Bacon obviously smells good. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. I haven't tried it, but obviously it always smells good.

Yeah. And obviously, it's around me everywhere to just try it off of someone's plate. And I am going to a doctor in a couple weeks just to get normal blood tests and stuff done where I do want to ask them, am I super deficient in something that you think meat would help supplement? Because again, on the outside, I feel...

I feel like I'm healthy, but maybe I am missing certain things that would be helpful to have.

A justification.

Okay. Because it's scary because I feel like I'm not doing it for myself. I'm doing it for others and the peer pressure of others and not because I smell the hamburger and want the hamburger.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, definitely.

For sure. Yeah. I think that's the missing piece is the partner and the person where I have most everything else I need and want where I am. It's just finding that person and I'm feeling like my vegetarianism and the place I live is making me more undateable and having these casual relationships with people where I just want to take the me being a vegetarian out of the equation.

Yeah. And that's the thing too. When I go other places, I'm like, Oh, I'm not, I don't have a scarlet letter on when I would go to Colorado. There's whole vegetarian only restaurants where I am amongst my people and can eat everything on the menu. Whereas you don't want to live there. No, no.

And I guess I have lived where I live since I was 20 years old. So I've lived there for going on to eight years now where I really haven't in my chosen adult life. Well, I've lived seasonally in other places, but I've always been drawn back to this where I live now, where I don't know if I should try living somewhere else.

to come back or if i should just again stick to my roots feel confident my decisions of living in this first place i ever found and just being lucky i found it so young um and then like you're saying kind of adapt to the lifestyle that's there i think there's a huge difference between doing things for a man or a woman depending on who you date and doing something for yourself

Right? Right?

Yeah. And that's why too, I was kind of thinking of rephrasing the question of, should I change being vegetarian for a man? Because I'm like, yeah, no, I shouldn't do that for a man, but for myself to have a chance at finding love and a better option, again, to take that out of the equation and to better connect with friends.

Because even again, on the social friendship level, I have friends who gather for for dinners and they had like wings and buns party and all these things that I'm good friends with them, but they don't invite me because I'm not going to eat their food. So why would I go to the food central event where I'm like, I would still come, but I am the girl bringing a Tupperware or not eating.

And so to be even more socially included and feeling welcome would also be nice.

Oh, that's so scary.

Yeah, it is.

People's minds are blown, so.

Yeah, I agree. Pretty good psychoanalysis of myself, I would say.

I don't think I would tell anyone if I did it or I would keep it under wraps for a while because I don't... If it's not something I'm planning to keep doing, I want to know...

it's going to be I like it and to be continued part of my diet where I mean maybe again that's part of the ego thing of I don't want people to know I broke the streak or whatever I just more don't want them to celebrate this big hoo-ha thing and everybody make it it's such a big deal that they finally won and made the 27 year long vegetarian change teams

Yeah.

My strong headedness. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Well, because it's been an identity for so long and I've I've made it work in so many places. I studied abroad. In Africa, I've traveled all around and even in college, it's like I have maintained this through my whole life in hard situations where, again, I think it's a stubbornness. It's hard, again, where I live, but why can't I keep making it work?

But I think changing that perspective to more of a, it would be more to embrace my community than adapting for something or someone else or breaking the streak and all that.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I agree. I just be interested to see too what happens once I like have the fork in front of my face where it's easy to talk about it. But then once I'm sitting down on whatever I choose to eat, I don't know if I'll have a visceral reaction all of a sudden be like, Oh my gosh, I really actually don't want to do this. Or if I'll be like, yeah, I'll see.

I mean, I have to do it to see, I suppose.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think I would still want to source it ethically. Again, I'm not going to go to McDonald's and have chicken nuggets and all that. I don't think I'll ever necessarily get to that level, maybe after years of eating more ethically sourced meat.

But again, where I live, you can go to the grocery store and buy beef that was literally grown in the backyard and hunting an elk and all those things. Most of the stuff where I live is locally and ethically sourced. And that would be where I want to start. I don't want the bacon that...

came from some nightmare slaughterhouses that we hear about exactly so yeah but I still I still don't know once that fork is in my mouth if I will all of a sudden be like oh no I do love animals as much as I did when I was three years old and made this decision I'm sure you do you know but like you know But eating them doesn't make you love them any less.

I suppose.

I will let you know once the fork hits my mouth, I suppose.

Yeah, absolutely. And I do appreciate your perspective of somebody not from my community where everyone in my community is just like, just eat it, just eat it and doesn't really see my perspective. Or again, like this ego driven streak stuff where, yeah, I appreciate your perspective on it from an outside party and relationship expert, I suppose. Yeah.

Yeah, I absolutely did. Awesome. Thank you so much, Nick. I appreciate it.

Yeah, I absolutely will.