Rosé
Appearances
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I did. I literally said, I'm going to take a break. It did not, it was not fun at all. I ended up working all day and I was stressed all day and you know, my brain didn't stop, but then it was different this time. Cause that's when I like, I said, I'm just not going to look at my phone. Don't text me tomorrow. So that was the difference. I was like, it was just like that action that I had to do.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I've told them, don't worry, I'll look at it in 24 hours.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But usually I'd feel bad about it. You should have. Yeah, because I was like, okay, sooner or later I'm going to start crashing and then it's going to be more difficult for people to work with me because I slowly started feeling like I was kind of avoiding things. But usually I'm the one that I'm like, so what's happening with this? What's happening with that? I go to them usually. That's me.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And so that's how the system runs. But then I started feeling that I was like... Kind of like, oh, like dreading going to work, dreading waking up. And I was like, okay, that's not me. So something's happening. And then that's why I took that one day off.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, I'm an Aquarius. But then when I'm working, it's a different person.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, well, yeah, that's the base of the song. But it's like an emotion. I think it's a universal emotion. But yeah, that was the experience I grabbed from and then we wrote it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Um, so like, it was a funny day. I came back home from like an event and I was at the hotel. I was doing back to back sessions. Um, but like, yeah, so I guess from the event, social anxiety, um, I was, you know, trying to be like my best self. I came home the next day. I was like, I was actually, no, what am I talking about? Came back home. I was on the internet.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, but it'd been, like, a minute since I hadn't been out. You know, I hadn't been, like, I wasn't releasing music. I hadn't been active because I was in the studio. I was trying to really, like, work on that. And so I was trying to close off, like, my, what do you call it? Blackpink Rosé. Yes, yes, yes.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I needed to, you know, channel into, like, what I think every day, like, as, like, a normal person.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
That's me. That's very me. I have to be myself, but that's something I do. And you know what? And that's fine.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Right. And so, yeah, I'm just being my authentic self. But because I wasn't updating much and I was still navigating my way. I was recording every day. So I wasn't posting. I wasn't posting cute pics or anything. I wasn't going out. I didn't even feel like going out because I have nothing to celebrate life with. I was like, I need, I have so much to do. And so it was like not celebration time.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So like, I, I'm not presenting myself. I'm not like really posting pictures. And I know like everyone wants me to be like thriving, like in success and that's what they wanted. But then in order for me to like, you know, have that real success on the internet is when I have something, but I didn't have anything in my hands. And so like in my sense, I'm like working really, really hard and,
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then the internet, obviously. Didn't think you were working hard. And then I find myself in, like, the wrong part of the world, in the social media world. And I've put myself there, obviously. But I'm like, where is this comment that's going to, like, ruin my day? Yeah, ruin my day. And then I find a good one. I'm like, hmm.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
You're like, you're a real one. And then I see a negative one. And I'm like, about myself, it's just like, that's not true.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then I couldn't get any sleep. I probably slept at, like, 6 a.m. or something. And then I got to the studio, and they were like, how was your day? And I was like, it was really bad. Yeah. It had been like a few months since, because I'm not active, like more people just have all the rights to say things.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And obviously I'm not going to respond or anything, but it just keeps that community growing and thriving in their world. I'm like the hater world.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, basically. And so I was like, really like the anger actually got to me and Like, again, I'm not usually like that. I think usually I was, like, the me that I am usually, it's like I really don't care about that because I trust in myself and I know myself and I know where I'm at and everything. But it had been, like, months of that, so it did get to me eventually.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I hated... It felt disgusting. I think I, like, ended up crying, like, pulling myself in the hotel room. And I got there and I was like, oh, like, I just... I feel this way and I wonder if, like... And this is the thing, I didn't like that part of me. It wasn't like, oh, I feel these emotions, let's write this song. I hated it. I wanted to hide it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I had nothing else to talk about because that day I was just feeling shitty. So I didn't even want to talk about any, I didn't want to talk about boys, no nothing. I was like, ugh.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
it feels gross and so I was like that's it and I was like I'm gonna write the most vulnerable disgustingly honest song about like how I really feel and cause that's the real emotion and then we started writing and it was so much fun
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I was like, it doesn't have to be pretty. Every time we, like, read or write something and it's like, oh, like, so, like, comforting and nice. No. I was like, just more honest, more vulnerable. Like, I could have even gone even worse. Right, right.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But yeah, and so we wrote it, but then I think I like the song because sometimes I listen to it and it reminds me of, if I'm also going through a different thing, let's say I want to be loved by somebody or something or a group of people or whatever, it also transforms.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So I'll sometimes listen to the song and it's nothing about what it's about when I wrote it, but then I'd relate to it in a different way as well.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I hope. I was so anxious about it when the songs were stacking up. I was getting anxious about it, but at this point I've lived with the album for long enough and I know that it's just like not much. It's just normal human emotions. So it's like, how could it go wrong at this point? And... If I was, yeah.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Because it's like just so me and like a song that I relate to and I just feel like a normal girl in her 20s anyway. I feel like, you know, people would be able to relate.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Am I therapist about anything today? Hmm. Because I just had my Sunday off.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Thera-pleased right now. I've been, like, really working on my mental health. But this is, it's funny to say this, because I'm, like, I'm usually work, work, work. So I don't actually usually say this. Like, working on myself is not, like, a phrase that I usually use. So I've been trying to think really positive and just, like, in, like, real time. So I'm, like, trying to, I don't know, maybe not.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Do you know why? Also, like, today I was, like, like, because it's an interview and usually, like, I always have, like, somebody, like, drop me off and I was, like, I want to drive today. Like, you know, actually, I want to drive. So I, like, let my driver go and, like, I had, like, the nicest drive over here, like, right now. And, like, I was, like, the weather's so nice today. Uh-huh.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And I just had, like, a playlist on and I was, like, wow, I'm, like, really happy. Like, it's really been only, like, two, three days where I've been, like, trying to tell myself.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
how happy i am and that you know i'm grateful i'm like trying to live in real time positive self-talk yeah because usually i'm like not living in real time i live in like my god i shouldn't have said i shouldn't have said okay to that like three days ago like why did we do that i don't understand that and then the future like so if we're gonna do that like i have to make sure that this is like this and like then then what like i'm always talking about some time that's not like now right
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But like today was a good day because it was like a podcast. I knew I'd be meeting you and I felt like it was going to be a chill. It is. Yeah. And my homework is just to be myself today.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. And so I was like, I'm going to wake up and I did my own makeup today. I don't know if I did well.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I tried hard. I didn't do my own hair, but I did my makeup. And then I was like, I'm going to drive myself. And it's just like a good day for me. And I also have like something, I have like a rehearsal later on. I've been anxious about it. But like, I've been trying to do this thing where it's like, I'll go. And I trust myself. And it's going to be, it always ends up being good.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Because I know myself, I'm way too antsy and detailed to leave it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, let it be bad. So just in myself, I have a nice little podcast. I'm going to go for like... you know, a little chit chat and then get there, like do it. Well, it's going to be good. And so that's why I feel like, if you ask me what I'm pissed off right now.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I was listening to a, how do you pronounce her name? Clara.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. I've only just started listening and it's like, it's so nice to listen to it in the LA weather.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I've only like just started listening. So it's like, if you ask me which song you like, I'll be like, Oh, I don't know.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I like the fourth song on the playlist. Yeah. But that whole thing. She,
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Wait, maybe I haven't gone to that song yet. No, maybe not yet.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
turns out it's the second song you're like oh it's just that shouldn't sound like that yeah I'd be like no I would think you sang it way too like good you like I didn't recognize it thank you of course it was very like Celine Dion yeah very Celine uh but yeah so you're listening to Claro is there anything else you're listening to right now anyone else
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Oh, I had been listening to, I'd been listening to a lot of, because it's like sometimes you don't know what to play.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But I have a song with Bruno, so I like, it's kind of my drive.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, apparently I do. So that's usually the fun playlist to play because it's like always.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
apparently yes you are what do you mean apparently yes how long have you been writing music for um not long i uh i started joining my sessions for the album last year so it's been a year it's like last year around like around september or something like that so yeah a bit over a year
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
literally he joked about it and I called him twice being like don't do it you're gonna get cancelled like literally don't do it he was laughing he was like this is gonna be so funny I was like don't you don't you fucking dare usually I'll tell him once and then I was like oh shit I feel like he's gonna actually do it called him again Literally, I was like, don't do it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And he's like, just post the picture. Just post the picture. And then I was like, okay, I'm going to tease it now. And then I teased it. And then he leaves a comment. And I'm like, oh, my God. I was screaming. I was like getting – oh, my God. I was getting on a flight.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Because I needed to like – So I was like getting to the airport, right? Like packing my bags and I just posted, I was like just checking. And then I'm like literally mid packing and I'm like, I like screamed and like my team like ran in. They're like, what happened? Did someone die?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then like, and then we're on the way to the airport and then like I'm in the car and then I'm just like trying to check like, you know, like the reactions and stuff. I'm like, oh, he posted the pic, like the other picture and he has a whole fanfic thing and I'm like, are you kidding me?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
i was my jaw hit the floor but can i tell you it's the best song promo ever he knew what he was doing clearly the song's like number one in the world it was like it's gonna be so funny and i'm like i called him and i'm like you're crazy and he's like rosie it's like hilarious people are going yeah i'm like this is serious i was like this is serious for me i've been waiting you know to release a song for so long and
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, he did lift the mood up because usually you get so anxious when you start teasing things. Like, it's like a moment where, like, you get so, like, as an artist, like, you get so vulnerable because, you know, you have been working on this for so long and it has to be good and it has to be the right decision.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So usually you're really anxious, but, you know, the whole day I was just like... Yeah, like...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
enlighten the mood that is nice yeah did you guys record that in studio together initially you've written the song a year ago and i had that song for a long time uh but it's like it's so pop right right it's like it kind of sits a little differently to my the rest of my songs on my album and so i didn't know really what to do with it but i knew that it did something to people every time i play it to anyone they would always like text me like a week later like a monthly it'd be like when's that song coming out i can't get it out of my head
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So I knew it did something to people. Because, I mean, the initial thought of writing it was written because it did something to people. They were doing the chant. And I was like, huh, okay. It's triggering something, so we have to do it. And the song did the same. And so I was doing that. And then I signed to Atlantic. Congratulations. Thank you. Congratulations. Yay, thank you.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I'm happy I found a home. And then I found out he was in the label. And then I was like, do you think?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
do you think he would and then he jumped on it and then he did his little genius sprinkle right all over the song and made it that like you know the song is and um and then he like came up with he was like you know from the studio and like he was like playing guitar and like drums and then he started talking about the ideas of the video like at first he'd like like send these like video references i'll be like cool wow like cool he's like rosie we have like this seems like an idea like okay cool
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
that was like very beginning stages and then he started talking about looks he's like oh my god this is a really cool look um and then he'd be like oh like you know this is a really cool look on you and then it gets me thinking about like what kind of look i should be right and like and i like it was like a building the world that world um but like he had it in his head i think like like a whole month before or like a few months the past like two months or something and then
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
he'd like throw things at me and then he'd let me know that this is like how it's developing and like it was all just like little like hints and clues so i didn't really get it and then i remember i walked up to the video set and i was like huh i get it right right i get it now um and it was like the most fun shoot i've had in my whole entire really it was fun like everything you see in the video that's literally how it was yeah laughing the whole time is he really funny
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
no, he is funny, but that day he was like director mode. So I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That day it was director mode. But then like the things that we were doing were hilarious. Like, He's like, Rosie, we have to do this, like, thing. And it's like, we're, like, being, like, twins, right? But it was just funny.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I was terrified because I feel like music is something obviously I love, but I don't want to just be like, I write music and like, you know, it's not an easy thing. Like I... you know, assumed. And then I went in and then I met some great people who helped me kind of get over my anxiety of being in the studio.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I was, like, laughing the whole, because it's, like, we had to, I don't know if I'm allowed to spill the tea, but, like, we had to record it, like, slowly. But then, so, like, you can't really, so I can kind of.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So it was, like, ah, but, ah, but, ah. But then, so, like, it's not real time, so I can be laughing and you can't really see it. It's going to be, like, this anyway. And I was, like, the whole time, I was, like, ha, ha, ha. I'm going to die. This is it. It was just funny.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, it was. Oh, my God. The next day, I felt, I woke up feeling like a pregnant lady. Wait, really? I literally was like, oh, my God, I can't get up.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, like, my whole back hurt because the whole video was done, like. Right.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Like. Like this. And you don't usually do this. It's a workout.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
You know what I mean? But who doesn't have anxiety? Some people don't, right?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I say that sometimes. Sometimes when I'm doing the freaking out thing. Oh, my God. I cut you off. I'm sorry.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I say it out loud. I'm like, anxiety has taken over the control board right now.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But it's actually usually better because it sucks that we have to hold this.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then I noticed later on, all it is, it's just us like chit chatting, like girlfriend, like friends at like for coffee. So like, it was literally just like us chatting and then putting that into a song and then making it sound like everything we would talk about. So like anything, it was like, okay, that doesn't sound like real. It doesn't feel like. Right. That's not real. That's not true.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But I don't think it might not be... She might feel bad because she starts feeling like she's not liking him, but then he's probably a good guy, whatever. But it's probably not about him. It's probably about something... About each other. Right. Probably about something she wants. Right.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And what she doesn't want, and it has nothing to do with that guy being a bad guy or a good guy, probably needs much more conversation and love in the conversation. Not focusing on the ick, but focusing on the love. And then once you start talking in love, I think you can start picking out real problems and really nurturing each other for about those problems.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So I think it'd probably be best if you don't focus on the ick, but because of the ick, you should start bringing out emotions and conversations, but out of love, not like negativity. Like we're about to get engaged and I don't want to get engaged with you. Not that, but like, Let's talk about this. Like I'm feeling a little bit of an ick and I don't know why.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I feel like a grandma with my glasses. It's like, okay, so.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
inside because she has this feeling he's gonna propose he's gonna propose he's gonna propose she needs to say something yeah you know because like maybe you don't want to break up with him maybe the conversation will make her like be reassured right make her love him more again a hundred percent probably that's probably gonna happen i think so too yeah i hope so cute have a great marriage they're gonna get married i want to get married
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then we'll, like, scratch it and, like, write something else that actually feels real. It was just, like, a bunch of that. And then it was just, like, days in the studio where, like, I had all this, like, terrible anxiety and all these thoughts in my head. And I, like, just, like, I'd, like...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Let's do it. I want one so bad. Let's talk about it. Let's get one.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
You can make, don't search for it. We can make, just like, we can create.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
There are, like, you know, great people out there, I'm sure. Okay.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So she's getting, like, anxiety because people around her are so happy.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
When has that only, like, been a good, like, my question is, like, getting married and getting a house, like, why is that the status quo of being happy is my question. Some people have miserable experiences. Some people have miserable experiences there. And sometimes I feel like, oh, I'm so happy that I'm a single girl. I always, yeah. It's like, that shouldn't be, I don't know.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
There are some people who like, which that gives me so much anxiety when I see my friends do it. Like they do this.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
throw throw it all up and then would write in a song and then like i'd leave with it like just like left in a song yeah i was like that's what it was and i was like it's like so much fun but then i'd have my bad days where i was like that did not help that did not really like portray what i was feeling so i would trash that and it was like a bunch of that put together and that became the album
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I wish. I've been so busy. I haven't had time to just sit down and just focus on something. So...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, I used to. And then the Australian one was really fun. Yeah. And then I started watching Korean ones. Have you watched the Korean ones?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So like the Love Island stuff, like first date, they're already like making out and everything. But the Korean ones are like last episode and they hold their hands.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. I saw that I bumped into the actor. Like, you know, have you seen the billboard?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And he's changed his hair red. Yeah. And, like, I saw him at LACMA the other day. And, like, he's really nice to me. He's always like, hi, Rosie. Like, it's good to see you. And I was like...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And he's like on the billboard of being in L.A. And I was like,
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
For me, I was a bit late to it because everyone was like, Squid Game, Squid Game, Squid Game. And me being me, I'm like, yeah, I'll watch it someday. And then I think I got, I think it was like I got COVID or something. And I was like stuck home. And so I turned on the first episode. And like the next day, I'm like on my last episode. And I finish it and like...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I don't know. I don't think it'll be my thing until I'm obsessed.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
If that girl's, like, mean to her and then copying everything, that's, like, a bit annoying. Yeah. But if she's just, like, copying her, just become besties and then bond over it. She obviously likes your stuff and, like, give tips and whatever. But then again, like I said, if that girl is a bit of, like, mean and then copying everything, this is annoying. Yeah.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But why do I feel so like... Relaxed? Yeah. Like I'm just like catching up with my girly. Oh! That's what it feels like.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Wait, so what happened? Do you think the girl is kind of left or she... It's unclear, but what... It feels like they had a mutual falling out.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
No, I think that's exactly what she should do is just, don't be dramatic. I don't know, maybe that's a bit hard to say.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Like, yeah, like I think I got a dramatic over something once and then I was just like, just live a simple life.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah, but, like, just being, just acknowledging it and then not defining that fallout with, like, thinking that, like, it's a failure.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. And then just like, just don't think of it as failure. Just think of this is today. She's not in my life today. And then later on, let's say five years, she could be. And then just even when she does come back in, just naturally let it be. Don't be so dramatic.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. Period. Be chill. Says the girl that's the least chill on earth.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I mean, I was shocked because I was like, okay, this is kind of like, it's like, it'll be good for me because I think when I meet my friends, I hate myself for this. I'm the type of girl who just can't stop talking about this certain like subject. And I'll just like repeat it and repeat it. And my friends are like angels who's just like, they'll listen to me.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
We learned that I am not therapist at anything today as of today.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Literally. Literally. This is an extension to my weekend.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Talk about it a lot. It was easy when I would go into the studio, I'd just be like, okay, this is what I'm on. It's just like, talk about it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
That's my problem. So it's like when I go to the studio, it's like a safe space and I'm, if anything, I'm supposed to overshare.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
do this for a year yeah did you ever like have a moment where you you wrote a song and you were like that is too real like i cannot put that oh yeah no for sure there's actually like a line in a song where i was like no we have to change that line so we had to change the line so i was like it's giving away too much right right right um but then a lot of the stuff like my you know my curators and producers were like no it's so good just keep it and i got so much anxiety at first i was like oh
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I don't think I should say this. It's just like, Oh, we should just change everything. Um, but they were like, no, it's really good. Let's keep it. So like, yeah, now I've learned to be a bit more vulnerable there and just, you know,
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
the arts we kind of briefly spoke about this but you also get anxiety yeah and she was playing with this and i was like hey what the hell is that give that to me right now it's become like a like a thing it's like a right they call it a rider uh-huh it's a rider it's like every time i'm in a meeting or anything it's like it's always on the table because you know now i can't work without it right um i just get anxiety and like i don't know if it's adh i don't even know what it is but like
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I need this And then if I have it In my hand I focus When I have really bad anxiety I need to move Some part of my body You know what I mean But like I like tense up Like I Oh same Like it's like muscles I do weird things I I sometimes tense the muscles here Like
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And then I noticed what I do is like, I use my fingernails and I like, just like, I like do this a lot. Weird. So, which is helpful because like, I do that just to this now.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But this is good because you're, like, using the muscles here.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Yeah. So it's just like a workout that becomes a workout.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
anxiety since i was like if i remember like seven years old do you ever like think about something and you're like oh that was anxiety i just didn't know it at the time see i'm a little i've been i've lived my life a little dull to that i think i've only started noticing it which is why i feel like it only started recently i think it's gone really bad over this past few years and like even like friends that used to work with me like three four years ago they started working with me again this year and they were like
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
like you're a little different from then and i was like am i um and i think that's probably the anxiety that's kind of like i think i have like i've never needed any like this before yeah they have stress balls i'm like i don't understand stress balls like why do you ever need them is what i thought And so I came across one during a meeting once and I was like, ew, what is that?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I walked in, I was like, ew. And I touched it, I was like, ah, it's disgusting. And then I touched it, I was like, ooh, it's kind of a cool texture.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Every single meeting. And then I was like, ew, I was like disgusted. But then I ended up doing this like serious meeting with somebody and I got through it like so well. And I was like, ew.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
it's the stress ball it's just hell yeah that's when i diagnosed myself with bad anxiety i was like i have bad anxiety that's what it was and that was that's when i found out it's it's frustrating when it like um like comes out like in physically before it comes out mentally you feel it as opposed to think it that's what i'm saying yeah once you diagnose once you say i have anxiety right now things are a bit better but then sometimes you
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
like hours pass and then you look back and you're like i was i was going through anxiety right so that's when i think now it's good that like i have this to remind me i have anxiety right i'm going for it i'm like i know i have anxiety so i know how to like like articulate like i know how to tell people i'm like i'm getting anxiety so like you know some people are like what's the vibe has changed yeah and i'll be like i have anxiety and i'll tell myself i just need like five minutes
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I need a squishy break is what I say. You know how people go for smoke breaks?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I think about it a lot lately. Yeah. Because it's really come up lately. Like, this is like...
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
real time um and I noticed it was definitely overwork and I was using because I have so many things I have to confirm like left to right but it's not just like it's not mathematics it's not an equation to everything it's like it's creative control and it's like I have to use like the deepest parts of my brain to find out what I want and dislike and I have to keep giving feedback on that and it literally been like every like days on end and I don't know how to take a break I'm just kind of a workaholic
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
Because for me, it's like work is my hobby and I love it. That's why I do it. And that's the only thing that makes me feel sane. So then it's like a whole bad cycle. So I noticed for the past six months, I haven't had a day where I turn it off. Because for me, again, it's my lifestyle. It's not like I go to work and I come home. I don't know how to disconnect from it.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And so I think it was like that and overworking, which I love. I'm so grateful to do it, so I keep doing it. And then I had... Wait, what was the question? Why am I doing this?
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
No, but then this is what I learned the other day. Oh my God, it was crazy.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
that's what i'm saying i don't know how to do that i don't know how to have a break and actually enjoy it so i never do it right because you're like i just want to work yeah and that makes me feel sane so but then it started making me feel insane like i started to go insane it was like a point where i was like i'm going insane and then i was like one day i was like okay i asked everyone if i take a break tomorrow will i with my career just crumble to the ground do we die
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
And so literally I said, tomorrow, I said, nobody texts me. I'm just going to try that. I've never done it before. Just no one is allowed to text me. No one. And then somebody texted me and I was like, this person, I literally was like, this person texted me. Please tell them not to text me. You're me. You're me. And I was like, and I'd be like, I'll reply on Monday. And I did that.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
out of body experience is that what you said it was crazy I was like I felt like I was dreaming and the whole day I was my and like I was lucky because my friends flew in from like like New York and like all my friends were in the same city and we're all like very similar like do you know Myers-Briggs so all my friends are NF like something NF it's like a Myers-Briggs thing and we're obsessed with it they're all NFPs so they're very similar like to me so we call it we're like very similar people and I was like sitting there
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
But that's what I'm saying. But then this day was different.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
That's usually how I feel. But I told him to turn it off. But I knew that in 24 hours, I'm going to go back to work.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
So I was, that's when I was freaking out. So I've never felt like, usually I'm good. Usually I feel like I hate it, like you said. But I liked it. And I was like, this is really weird. And we ended up like bonding, like over like drinks at the end of the day. Like we all started crying and I hadn't been like letting my emotions come out for such a long time.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
I'd been suppressing them because I didn't have time for it. I don't have time. I don't have the energy. Like I can't be emotional. So I was like holding it all down. And then I was like, this is a crazy day. And then I just started opening up and my friends were telling me like, yeah, you'd seemed a little like gone for a minute. And so like, it feels good to have you back. Yeah.
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
yeah i always felt like it started to get really weird every time i talk about emotions and anyone who yeah anyone who would start talking about the emotions i'd literally like stand up and just go off right like i don't like i'd be like pissed off for some reason like i don't want to talk about this it's because i do you ever feel like it's like when someone else is talking about it makes you confront your own and you're like i don't want to do this right now maybe yeah yeah i don't know why why do we end up talking about this i'm so sorry are you
Therapuss with Jake Shane
Session 46: Rosé
This is the thing. So I tried it like a few weeks ago in New York. I extended my trip. I was like, I'm going to have a weekend. But I ended up working like the whole day. And I ended up like, and then the weekend passed. I was like, that didn't feel like a weekend. And then that's when I admitted, I said to myself, okay, I'm somebody that doesn't know how to take a break.