Ranjani Srinivasan
Appearances
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
They're basically saying stuff like, don't worry, this sometimes happens. So then I clarify that I can actually grade my students' work, which is forefront in my mind right now.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I guess I wasn't paying attention to the door. I was focused on the Zoom conversation. So sometime midway through the conversation, through the door, she turns and tells me ICE is at the door. What do you think when you hear that? I'm freaking out, just freaking out.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I just start shivering and shaking because I'm still on Zoom with my advisor who till the last second was saying, you're fine, you can go out and teach your students. But I tell the advisor that ICE is at my door, tell me what to do. And you can see the advisor's eyes kind of become wide. She says, okay, just give me a second. She mutes herself.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
And I was like, won't Columbia, you know, have a lawyer? Won't they like, you know, be negotiating with ICE on my behalf? Like, why am I on my own? And she's like, oh, that's not like something that happens. You shouldn't have any issues. And then I just told her that, you know, I don't really trust Columbia at this point. And then she says, oh, but do you trust me? What did you say?
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I mean, I just told her I don't know you. What'd she say to that? She just was like, just call the lawyers and don't open the door.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I'm absolutely paralyzed with fear. I'm not able to think straight. I just thought that if I go somewhere else for a bit, I will feel a little safer and things will hopefully blow over. I mean, I fully intended to return to my apartment. So, you know, I literally just take like a couple of pairs of clothes and a shower gel and a loofah. So that's all I literally had on me.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Yeah. Well, you know, you need something to keep your spirits up.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I'm so sorry. Let me know if I can do anything for you. And then I basically tell her, I'm really scared. Why are they here? I don't understand. Can you please, like, talk to ISSO, the International Students Office, please? And then they sort of tell me, oh, I will do that. But it seems that, you know, even the International Students Office or Columbia, nobody seems to be in control. Wow. Yeah.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I'm still calling lawyers. You know, I'm going through all my legal options. Again, we don't know why this is happening, right? Because I'm still in legal status. It's just my visa that's been revoked. So under any circumstance, I legally can be in the country. I can legally be working legally.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Everything is fine because the way it works is that the visa is, you know, just like a key to let you in and out. But your legal status is like a rental agreement of your house. You know, you have the right to be there even if you lose the key.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I remember reading about it in the paper, you know, and I was extremely scared. If my flatmate had not been there, that would have been me. Again, I have no stranger danger. I would have just opened the door and they would have detained me. I think the idea of Mahmood's being in Louisiana and not able to speak to his lawyers scared me greatly. It was beyond my imagination.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I mean, during this entire experience, I just felt that this was sort of a disembodied view of what was happening. It didn't seem real that this could happen to any of us.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Yeah, no. And I was, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was, you know, shaking all the time. And most of my friends will tell you I'm a very calm person. I'm really good in a crisis. But this was just unprecedented, an unprecedented situation. You know, everything that's happened has been outside the realm of possibility in my head.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
So, you know, I had to prepare as if the worst might happen and act in those ways.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
I lost my legal status. I lost my worker status. And I also lost my housing. So I was really unhappy. And then when I got this email, actually the dean of student affairs in my school came into my building and was ringing the doorbell, trying to find out whether I'd received the email telling me to vacate and getting a confirmation that I've received the email and I'm going to leave the apartment.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
So at that point, I knew Columbia was either complicit or working with law enforcement. I just felt completely betrayed because I don't have a discipline record. I have like a perfect GPA, like I haven't done anything. And The fact that I just felt like a sacrifice, almost. It just feels like the institution doesn't really care.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
It was quite a quick decision. I bought my plane ticket on Tuesday and I left on Tuesday. I think just the idea of detention, you know, at some level I was like, is even a PhD worth spending several years in jail or we don't know how long, we don't know what charges, there's so many unknowns. My lawyers kept telling me all this is unprecedented territory and I just thought the risks were too high.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
And I just I'm extremely, extremely fearful of detention. I'm very claustrophobic and I don't think I would have been able to survive in a cell for like years or I don't even know how long this is going to take. Right. So there's just too many unknowns. Yeah. How American.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Yeah, I was sort of shocked seeing it on Twitter because I actually didn't know who Kristi Noem was also, so I didn't really know what was the context of this video.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Oh, I was like, why am I walking so funny? I guess that was the first reaction mentally, but... You are kind of rushing in the video. Yeah, so basically what happened was I was really hungry and I stopped for a bite and I kind of lost track of time. I thought I was late for the flight.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Yeah, I mean, you see such people every day in airports, right? So for her to sort of tweet this, it seemed a little strange.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Just because, you know, Columbia sometimes does phishing trainings. So I actually thought that this might be one of those. It just seemed so strange. I took a screenshot and actually put it in our, you know, my department WhatsApp group with all the other PhDs asking, did you guys get this? What did people respond? They were like, oh my God, what the hell is this?
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Just book an online advising session through our system and just don't leave the country. Otherwise, you are in legal status. You can, you know, go to work. You can grade your students' work, stuff like that. And that was one of the big questions in my head, right?
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
So I was sort of going back and forth during the time waiting for her reply, thinking whether I should be grading or should I not be grading.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
Yes, exactly. But it wasn't. So I was told in writing that I was allowed to, you know, just go about my normal life. I don't need to worry. This is all being treated as very run of the mill. And the tone from Columbia is that this happens to many students. It's not, you know, a rare thing.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
The U.S. scholarship is really robust. You know, there's a great intellectual culture of inquiry. A lot of the people I had read or like my intellectual heroes went to many of these universities. You know, David Harvey, he's an economic geographer. And, you know, Ambedkar, who is the architect of the Indian Constitution, actually studied at Columbia.
This American Life
857: Museum of Now
So I was super excited to, you know, kind of see the U.S. and like take part in this like culture of inquiry.