Rachel Lindsay
Appearances
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ep. 2168 - TRADE WAR: Trump Declares Massive Car Tariffs
Let's be honest. This movie should have never been made. Snow White, when it came out, was huge back in 1937. But that movie has so many problems. Where we were in 1937 versus 2025, more than the other Disney movies, this should have never been a movie to remake. Because think about it. She's so perfect because her skin is white as snow. Right. One problem. She goes and finds the dwarves' house.
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ep. 2168 - TRADE WAR: Trump Declares Massive Car Tariffs
She cooks. She cleans the house. And why does she get to stay? Because she agrees to cook and clean for them. Pull your weight. Pull your weight. For these seven men. Yeah. Why couldn't she go mine with them? Why couldn't she go, hi-ho, hi-ho?
The Ben Shapiro Show
Ep. 2168 - TRADE WAR: Trump Declares Massive Car Tariffs
Then beauty was the defining factor of a woman. Oh, that never happens, right? Obviously, the depiction of the dwarfs. Oh, oh. She was this damsel in distress. She had to be rescued by a man in order to go on and live this beautiful, happy life. Only a man could save her. The movie is problematic.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Okay, wrong isn't the word that I would use. Yeah, you are kind of wrong for feeling upset. First off, when she said the ring is something that, you know, people shouldn't come up to you and say, oh, you know, I didn't really like your ring. It's almost like, forgive me, an ugly baby. You know, you never to say, oh, my gosh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like, you know, the thing on social media where they're showing the older generation parent. Like, you never say those things. You say... Oh, my gosh, so cute. Or what a doll or an angel like or, you know, those type of things. That's what you should do with the ring. Yeah. But I think wrong is I struggle with the word wrong. OK.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
For her, because I get you being offended because you just laid out this beautiful story of what your ring meant to you and why it was so special. Yeah. And all that energy is in this ring. And it means so much to you. It's subjective. It's personal. But then someone else looks at it and you want them to have that same joy and they don't. It's kind of like, who cares? And I don't mean to be harsh.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That. But who cares? Who cares? You love it. Yeah. You love it. Are you wearing the ring so you can get compliments from everyone else? Or are you wearing the ring because the love of your life put something beautiful together based on who you are and your experience? And that is a symbol of love.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it is a fuck them. I honestly think it's deeper than that. If somebody sits there and shits on your ring, there's a bit of hater-ness going on.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
There's something. So I say match the energy. You can handle this two ways. You can just know that you love your ring and who cares. Or you can say, well, where's the ring on your finger? Or shit on the ring on their finger. Wait, let me see your ring. Yeah. That's right. Oh, that's... You know, it's... Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I feel like I've lived multiple lives, which I feel like should be the goal for everyone. I fully agree. Yeah. Being able to pivot is something maybe we weren't necessarily taught by the generation before us, but it's like gives me life to be able to do that, to say I was able to overcome fear and just go after what I wanted.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I think it's a character flaw for somebody to criticize someone's ring because at the end of the day, I might not know this beautiful story behind it, but I know that the person you love gave you something special. And everyone knows...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That when the girl gets the ring on the finger, she's equally excited to tell you she's engaged as she is to say and check out the ring because it's it symbolizes something meaningful. Yeah. So what kind of person do you have to be to say it to their face?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm familiar with opal. Sorry, I'm trying to gather my thoughts. It looks like an insect. I'm trying to gather my, like a locust. Like you ever seen the bottom of a locust? Like where all the colors come together? Or cicada, cicada, cicada from Texas.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And you see, when you see the dead cicada when it's that time of season and you look at their underbelly, it's all these beautiful colors that actually come together so you can see the beauty. I think I'm getting that right.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. Our differences are what make... us like things exciting and interesting. Everybody was walking around doing the same things in Stepford Wives. You know what I mean? That, yes. I love that you have something. You know what that is? That's a conversation piece because people are going to look at that and they're not going to assume it's an engagement ring.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And they're going to ask you about it. And then what do you get to do? You get to tell a beautiful story. I love that. Yeah, I love that. I'm not normally this positive, but...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's meh. I hate oatmeal, too. I know. I never wanted an engagement ring. So that's probably why I'm so opinionated on this too. Yeah. But of course I went on The Bachelor and Inside Scoop. When you're around like week five.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They're like, so what do you want your engagement ring to look like? Oh, wow. And you haven't thought about it. You're like, I'm trying to navigate all these men. I'm trying to figure out who I have feelings for. What's the next date? I'm exhausted. How many weeks are there? For me, they've shortened it now. It is short, like six, seven weeks, if that. I was 10 weeks when I did it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Still not a long time. But that three weeks is a huge difference. That's when things start to get really serious. That's a lot. Yeah. But they ask you. And you're like, I have no idea. Because again, I'm the girl who never knew what she wanted a ring to look like. I always wanted a stack of bands. So yellow, pink. I love that. Just like, but all par they are like a solid gold.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That's how I wanted the change up to be. And so I said that and they laughed at me. They were like, this is the batch. So you got to pick a stone. Yeah, that signature ring that everyone has.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. So I picked the pear-shaped diamond. Okay. And they told me to get a halo around it because it'll make it look even bigger. So there was no meaning behind my ring other than... The person I loved gave it to me. Yeah. So that's something. So that's why I'm kind of like, girl, you have a beautiful story to tell. You won. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
That is something that some people didn't get because the decision was kind of made for them. And that does happen. I feel like not everybody gets the option to choose their ring. And that man listened to what you wanted and built something beautiful on it. Does he have a brother, a cousin, or a friend?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Also, what you said is so important. Men who are listening and in a serious relationship, please consult with the best friend, a sibling. Find her Pinterest board.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Maybe asshole's too strong of a word. But I think if you're a friend, you're a friend at the end of the day. Okay. You're not a friend because of what they give you or can do for you or a title or anything like that. So if my friend didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid, first off, have you been a bridesmaid? You might want to be saying thank you. She might be a better friend to you than you realize.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like do what makes you happy. And you're always have the fear in you, right? Like I still get scared to do certain things or I doubt myself, but then I think about where would I be if I hadn't. And then I'm not afraid of the failure because then there's a story to be told. I look at everything like, That's a story I get to tell. That's a life experience I get to share with someone.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
There's money that has to come out of your pocket. There are other things you have to plan. You know, you... In what capacity, would be my question, is she asking you to help? We got the info.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I didn't have bridesmaids. Okay. Because I could not narrow it down. So if I can play devil's advocate for a second.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I wonder if, so it sounds like their group of friends who they all grew up with, who were close. Yeah. They also don't sound like they're in the wedding. It sounds like the newer friends are. So if I play devil's advocate, maybe this bride wanted bridesmaids. She obviously is going to choose her sister and future sister-in-law.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And she probably thought, I can't narrow it down with my old school friends. So maybe I'll just pick some newer friends or coworkers just to even it out. That could be her logic. She probably should have relayed that information. Doesn't sound like she did. No. That's the only logical thing I can think of. I mean, other than she doesn't really like you the same.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But it sounds like from this, from her writing in, that there are other friends that are close that aren't in the wedding either. Sounds like she doesn't know the newer girls.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Well, right now I'm being single. The podcast. But just being single. Like, you know, I was married, divorced. It's all public. It's all out there. So I'm not like telling anybody else's business. Yeah. But just getting over it. Saying, okay, this is not working. It's not good for both of us.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So... If that is the case and if those friends, I'm speculating a lot here, are helping out too, then I'm not as sensitive to it. Like I kind of might make a snarky comment. Okay. But I would probably be like, okay, like what do you need? You know, like I'm more than happy to help. Maybe because, again, I don't find as much joy in being a bridesmaid. So I'd be like, thank God. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
If I felt it was too much, I would say, hey, I'll help you with this, this, and this. Yeah. But I don't have time for this. I would push back a little bit. Yeah. But it sounds like the writer really wanted to be a bridesmaid. And... That's really the issue. She's not wrong for that.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She's not at all. If this is something you talked about and you always dreamed of and it was something special between the two of you and she calls you her best friend, of course you're questioning why.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But it's giving White Lotus friends. Ooh, okay. I haven't watched yet.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
There's an interesting narrative with the... There's this group of women. There are three women.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And there's more to the dynamic of the friendship group and certain relationships are stronger than others and there's certain group chats going on and it's all under the guise of like, we're just worried. We're just concerned.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it highlights female friendships so well that I said this earlier today that that narrative is going to be something that lives on in TV history because I don't think I've seen it outside of reality TV. It just really brings to life Women, lady friendships. Yeah. And that's what I feel like this is giving a little bit of.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
oh we were double digits there would have been over what remember i've lived so many lives oh that's true so and are we talking 20 i was no no no okay like probably like it was like around 13 14 and he didn't have he didn't have half that okay he wouldn't have had half of it okay and so for me it's like what let's not do it yeah it's just too much okay
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You know, the fear of saying, but I have to hold on to this because I don't know what's on the other side of it. It's terrifying. But it's the best decision I made. And I am equally scared as I am excited. And so, yeah, just being single, being out here. I remember I had anxiety before. The first time I was at a big event by myself, not by myself, but not married.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Because I was going to say before you got into the comments that to me, vulnerability is key here. And it's probably coming off of like, I don't want to help you. And that's how it's probably being relayed to the friend groups. Our friend's getting married. She's so stressed out. We're supposed to be here to help her. And I think if the approach was, I need to be vulnerable with you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
This really hurts my feelings. And this is why, which is hard when your emotions are involved to see it that clearly. But that's what it is at the end of the day. Your feelings are hurt.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Especially if it's a destination wedding. Sorry, I just came from a destination wedding where I was not a bridesmaid. And I was watching the bridesmaids have to leave the beach early and go get their makeup done and go make sure everything. And I was like, see y'all, this evening they were getting ready at like 11 in the morning. Wedding wasn't until 6. It was so beautiful.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
When I say by myself, I meant without my ring. Because there's like a comfort in having a ring on your finger. And I like went to the bathroom and kind of had not a full panic attack, but just really was scared because I thought people can talk to me. And try to date me. And I haven't had that in seven years. Yeah. And it was really an overwhelming feeling for me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I just had to kind of like regroup, get with my friends, get my bearings together and just say like, okay. Yeah. Just navigating single life out here. I've never been on a dating app. Really? Yeah. Never done it. I've always met people through friends or The Bachelor. And so now it's just, I don't know, I feel more myself than ever. And I know exactly what it is that I want.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But finding that is a whole nother journey. Maybe I'll be one of like the Reddit pages you look up. I'll create my own horror stories. It's probably already out there.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I'm wondering if you've conveyed how you feel or how that made you feel or maybe he's continued this pattern or maybe even what it is you're looking for out of a partner. Do you watch Bravo? A little. Not much. I think this is all fresh on my mind because I was podcasting earlier, but the Paige and Craig breakup between Summer House and Southern Charm is a big deal.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
A lot of people are talking about it. And we thought it was starting off, it was going to be so amicable, so much respect, and it has turned into...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
a disaster and they seem to be at each other's throats and everybody else is offering their opinions including myself but one of the things I'm noticing as we're watching it we know in real time they broke up but we're watching kind of the the breakup on the season the problems okay and
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
One of the things I watch Paige constantly do is tell her girlfriends how Craig makes her feel or what the problem is. One point he's in the house and she's whispering, but she doesn't relay it to him. And I don't think he would change. He is who he is, but he's not even privy to... to how you're feeling, at least for what we're watching.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
We run to our girls, we run to our moms or somebody else we trust and we try to kind of get advice or feel things out or maybe work it out through them and then never say anything so we can go back and just like not ruffle any feathers because as women we protect, we fix. I'm not saying it's submissive, but, you know, like, we play our part a little bit.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Because I don't think they're... Again, I'm not faulting her.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I do a lot of therapy. And my therapist, I feel like I grew up kind of like, don't cry. It's a sign of weakness. Be strong. And so I was very much just like would brush my feelings under the rug until I started therapy 10 years ago. And I realized I had a lot of work to do. But even most recently, my therapist was talking about weakness and vulnerability.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And like, you know, when you are open with someone and you share how you feel and It's not a sign of weakness. There's more power in being vulnerable because then their response to you will tell you everything that you need to know. And it might not be what you want to hear.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And sometimes we aren't because we're afraid of back to one of the other OPs where we were saying, like, you know the answer. You know what you should do. Sometimes we don't want to hear that. But being vulnerable with someone really is powerful and it's still something that I work on.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And that's what I would encourage, you know, this OP, because I fear that this guy is only going to recognize her worth when she leaves or if she left.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'd be curious to know how long they've been together.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Also, stop doing so much for him. Okay? You were doing, she's doing way too much. She was going down the laundry list of all the things she helped. I mean, did he get the promotion or did you get the promotion? It's hard to decipher.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I said... I called it earth sign. Okay. There's something solid and steady about what you just said. Love that for you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
An earth sign, man. Second thing, you really are doing it yourself.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Dad grew up on a farm in South Texas. And so when back in the summers, we'd spend our summers in South Texas and I was the one, I have two sisters. I was the sister that wanted to like help out. So I would help him like build fences and stuff like that. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I mean, everyone should celebrate their success. Yeah. I mean, usually people throw it for you, but if it's something he's been working towards, if it's a huge promotion. Yeah. I mean, it does fall in line with this guy's mentality, like who he seems to be. But I'm not mad at it. Okay. I'm also always looking for a reason to party, so.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I have to be honest. I'm like, what did I get myself into? Because you're so lovely. And I was like, I want to podcast with you. I want to do your thing. I'm like so excited to be a part of it. I was telling people that I was doing two hot takes and they were like, oh my gosh, you're about to have so much fun. And I'm like, okay, good. I'm more nervous than what I'm going to say.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She's fucking with you. Like, it's hard to not ignore this or to ignore the symbolism here. It's like being in the dog house. Something was done. Right? Something was done the night, the day, the week before. I don't know. I'm not saying that you were right or wrong, but something was done. Your wife was pissed off about it. And she said... okay, I'm going to put you in the doghouse.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm going to make you eat out the dog bowl. That's how I see it. Something she's upset about. She did this purposely. You already, he already said there are other bowls, but she's making you eat out of the dog bowl. She's telling you you're a dog for something that you did. My first thought was like, oh my gosh, she hates you. And I'm like, no, she's fucking with you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Like she's, you did something where she deems you a dog.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I feel like she's like, you don't get it. Like, she's mad about something else. This is one of those the issue isn't the issue. Yeah. That's how I'm interpreting it. So she's kind of like...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
bad not because he won't eat out of it because you don't get that i'm making you get out the dog bowl for a reason something you did that's how i that's the only logical thing i can think of because why else would she do that if there are other bowls she's trying to make a point it's clearly a point i thought like initially i'm like is this a prank like is she secretly recording like what what's going on here because it is so weird and it's like oh well it came out of the dishwasher
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Now, what would be rich is if he was eating out of the dog bowl and the dog was eating out of the human bowl.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I mean, it's like you're not even worthy. Uh-huh. But, you know, I use my dog's name, Copper is. You know? Yeah, she's clearly, and he doesn't get it. And I'm not saying she's right. We just mentioned earlier it's okay to fight. It's about how you fight. This isn't the way. No. This isn't productive. It brings up other things. He's focusing, as here, he's focusing on the what rather than the why.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And the why is something deeper, which she's not communicating with him or being vulnerable enough to let him know what the issue is. She's more so. And she's shaming you even more. Now you've gone to Reddit and you've put it out there that she tried to feed you out of a dog bowl. That is inhumane in some ways.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But if there was nothing else left and I had to. Like, yeah. Yes. I wouldn't want to. To be clear, because I know what I said earlier.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No. That's next for you. Okay, I am going to do a raised garden bed. I'm actually shocked you don't. You are very, you are queen do-it-yourself. And again, I wish I need more of that. That's why I'm like. You come over. We'll let you take care of the ponies a little.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just want to start there. Yeah. It was stew. Like, I'm not a big stew eater. But the guy's acting like she made, I don't know, like a T-bone steak with all like, it was this like five course meal or something like that. It's stew. It's stew. She's not, he's not an asshole. That's not what makes him an asshole, or I would say. I don't agree with that one.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It was a human bulb. It was a human bulb. It takes a type of person to read all the comments and then decide that she's going to respond.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Of course. Let me tell you who's running things over there. The wife. She is manipulative. Again, it is a character trait for the actions that she took to make sure that she wasn't looked at in a bad light. Okay. You can't convince me That it's hard. I know it was a human bowl. Yeah. But if the dog has been eating out of this bowl for two weeks, then you clearly associate that bowl with that dog.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. She knew. It is hard for me to fathom that she didn't consider. Let's just say what she's saying is true. That she didn't think, huh, he might feel a certain way about eating out that bowl. It just escaped your mind. Yeah. I think it was purposeful for whatever her reason may be. That's so interesting. Maybe because...
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
As she pointed out, I can't believe he said he does dishes 65% of the time. She clearly doesn't think he does dishes that much. So maybe there's some resentment in other areas. I think she was trying to get back at him in certain ways. Now he put all this information out here, made her look bad or tried to make her look bad. I mean, this is the am I the asshole subreddit.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Someone's got to look bad most times. And so she's pissed. So I just think that... She knew what she was doing. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You don't use tongue? That's the thing. You don't get freaky in the bedroom? Like, what? Stop acting like you guys aren't intimate with one another. Yeah. So, I... I find it hard to believe you were grossed out from eating after her. One bite. You could have used another fork. Yeah. Or spoon or whatever, however you eat stew. Or drinking, like what? This is your wife. I know. There's something.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Something fishy is going on here. There's something weird. I don't want to say weird because I like weird. There's something strange going on with this couple.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
She wanted to be. She wanted people to praise her, to uplift her. It sounds like the comments weren't going that way, which is why she stepped in.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I think we'll never be the same after 2020. So maybe that's it. We'll never be the same.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
First off, I want to say I'm so sorry that happened to you. Have you been cheated on before?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No. You are absolutely not that. I don't know where she lives. The Twilight Zone. I've never heard of anything like this. Dennis the Menace. Okay.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
He's a freak. He's a freak. Yeah. And I think he wants to get off, and I'm sorry, there's just no other way of putting it, by being in that tub. No, whoever diagnosed him with whatever or whatever therapy was told that he should have to heal him or maybe it's self-diagnosed, I'm not sure. The fact that that kind of tub is the only tub that can heal him is insane.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
The man wants to be naked in your house because he's going to get off on it. He is a freak. Why does no one else see that? Does no one else have a bathtub? No. Offer him your bathtub. Exactly. Like, if this man is so desperately needs it, use someone else in the neighborhoods. Get a hotel. Get a tub. How about you renovate your own house and get a tub?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I've been cheated on before more than once. And it's tough because regardless of what went down, how it went down, somehow you always... not blame yourself, maybe some people do, but you think about what you maybe did wrong, how you could have contributed to it. Like, what did you do that made him want to seek something else out?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I would suggest that OP gets a security system, ring cameras, locks. ASAP. Again. ASAP. Because he doesn't sound stable and he sounds fixated and obsessed on getting in your tub. And it's just like, I'm hearing harassment. I feel like a restraining order is about to be in place. There's just a lot of things that are wrong here, honestly, that don't make a lot of sense to me either.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But, you know, for the sake of what you're writing, you know, I'll believe you, but just this is... As you said, you prefaced this, it's odd. It's odd. Odd. Like, first off, also, why does Dennis know you have this tub? Like, I get... How close were you and Dennis to say, hey, by the way, I have this beautiful Victoria tub? I mean, maybe she was like, I'm thinking of getting rid of it.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Maybe he... Maybe... Are you interested in it? I don't know. But... I know all my neighbors, but my neighbors don't know that I have, you know, if I would have if I have a Victorian tub, they would not know.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
No, not in her private space, not in her area, not in her sanctuary, which is what a home is to so many of us. So, yeah. She needs to go file a police report. I would... Harassment, at least. Everything that she's describing sounds not normal.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I would at least go on record, because if you've ever been stalked or anything like that, if you at least go make a police report, it's easier to get them to respond if you already have something like this on record. Yeah, that paper trail. It's equally odd as it is serious to me because it does unhinge, to use your word. That's a little scary to me.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
The obsessive nature he has over getting in this tub Thank you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And, and the last part of what she said really stuck with me because I feel like that's kind of how she's thinking. And it's not, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. And there was something that she said about, she'll have to do this alone. That really stuck with me. You're 23 years old.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And oh gosh, I'm getting to that point in life where I feel like I'm like, I'm like the old bird. I'm like, oh, I'm 39 and I'm just thinking at 23. And I'm trying not, I don't want to say cliche things like, oh, you have so much life to live. And oh, but one of the first things we were talking about at the top of this podcast was Fear.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And I remember somebody saying to me when I knew I wasn't in a good place in my relationship, and it wasn't cheating, but I'm going to go somewhere with this. And they said to me, do you want to wake up at 45 and feel this exact same way? And I don't know why. It's not even that profound.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But it hit me because what I knew was at 45, I would be in this exact same place. My gut did. And I say gut to say to this young woman, we as women are given that woman's intuition. That is a real thing, that spirit, that voice that speaks within us. And for you to have to write all of this, you know. You know what you should do. You know how you feel.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
What? It's not true. It's such a bad lie. He was clearly doing. I would be like, let me smell your breath. What was on the burger? It is. Let me smell your breath. Bad. Is this divorce worthy for you? It's the beginning of the end for me, for sure. Yeah. I just, it's so layered. There's trust issues with it. You're inconsiderate, self-serving.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I just, this is somebody going to, well, it's surgery period. If I have my wisdom teeth out, you better be right there by my side. You better be damn near fighting to get into the emergency room with me, asking for updates, what's going on, let alone surgery. What was it? What did she add? A lumpectomy. A breast cancer. I just can't get over the way he's acting.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
It's as if, and this is going to sound very harsh, but the way he's acting, he's acting as if she's already gone. He's acting as if the diagnosis is a death sentence. Oh my God, you're so right. And that's what I wouldn't be able to get over. I would use that man as best as I could because he doesn't seem to be that useful to help me get back on my feet.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And to get back where I needed to be, to get back on my bearings. And I would leave him. I would leave him. I would slowly be, I'd be vindictive. I'd slowly be, basically what happened to me, be preparing how I was going to make my departure. Because that is a man you can't trust.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
So you use them for what you can and you bounce as soon as you get on your feet and find that man who treats you right.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You know the person that you are, whatever you struggle with. We all struggle with insecurity. You know what to do and you're looking for somebody to tell you what to do, but you know what you should do.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't even know how you look at yourself. You're right. It's such a big deal. It's so scary. And I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror and know that you weren't there. Like, what if the situation was reversed? He's got to be doing something so shady. Oh, yeah. At the bar. I don't think he got a burger and a beer. No. And why would you go to a bar to get a burger?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You know how many fast food places are around here? And instead you went to go get a drink and let's just give him the slight benefit of the doubt. All right. Sometimes people don't know how to handle their emotions. So maybe you were so stressed out that you went to go grab yourself a beer and
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And and maybe you were emotional when you were there and you got a burger and you lost track of time and you realize you lost track of time and you knew you weren't there. So you grab some roses and you're like, I'm so sorry. I don't know quite how to process this as well. I am just as scared as you, but I didn't know how to tell you because I don't want to scare you, too.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And it's the fear that's holding you back from, you know, stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing something because you're comfortable in the relationship, but you're also not comfortable in the relationship because he stepped out on you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Communicate. Why do we do that? Oh, my God. Why do we avoid? Why do we run away from things? You know, like, why is that easier? And I mean, it's... tell as old as time, but why is that easier than just having the conversation?
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I would have for every rose, I'd have a list of things that you will be doing to make it up for me. Mm-hmm. I like that. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
They can only go one way. Please, I don't want to leave on an angry note.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I don't know if I believe like that's what I would even put that in there. So he was doing cocaine for two hours and he couldn't, wouldn't he be wired? I don't know. Like wouldn't he be all up and ready to, I don't know.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it's not like being drunk where he had to sober up. I don't know. OP, I'm concerned.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Thank you so much for asking. So I have two podcasts, Higher Learning, which we talk about everything from current affairs, politics, sports, entertainment, and how it is intersected with culture. A lot of fun. Gets a little crazy, but it's definitely like you're listening to your brother and sister. Yeah, this is with you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
in van right yeah this is me in van this show sounds amazing it's a little bit about it it's a it's unhinged but it's so much fun it's like a family reunion you're just you know that talk you have when you go back and forth at the dinner table like and everybody gathers for the holidays it's like that um but we debate everything that's relevant and current in the world and um that drops new episodes drop every tuesday and friday and then twice a week twice a week and then for all my bravo lovers
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
We do Morally Corrupt, beautifully named after Beverly Hills season one episode. And The Dinner Table. All great things happen on a boat or around a dinner table on Housewives shows. And we just started. Now we do it twice a week as well. So new episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. When are you sleeping? I don't know. When are you doing anything? I'm wired up.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But the Tuesday show is all news and Bravo news. And then the Friday show, we recap what's going on on Bravo with all the shows. So we do about three to four shows. So it's a fun time. I love what I do. I'm grateful to do it. And I'm grateful to be here talking with you.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And to say that you're alone and you don't want to do it without him, then now your happiness is dependent on him. And you want to get to a place where, you mentioned it, you have family, you have friends. Community is so key in moments like this. And not necessarily that you listen to all this advice and you do what they tell you, but just to use them as a support system.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And you talked about it being heavy. It is so heavy right now. but you just have to take it day by day. You don't have to figure it out. I think we're both people, you and me, Morgan, that are like, we want to figure everything out and know and want to be 10 steps ahead. And I think that that's innately within us as well as women.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
But I was reading this book called Lighter, Young Pueblo, which really helped me through the divorce. And it wasn't even about just relationships. It's just about mindset. And one of the things is, and I would say this to myself as a mantra every day, don't look at the past because it'll hold you back.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Because in this situation, you're going to romanticize what he was prior to you finding out this information. Then young Pueblo says, and I'm paraphrasing, but don't look at the future because it will give you anxiety. You're trying to figure it all out. The if, ands, what's, what if I do this? You have no idea. You don't know. You can't even predict his, this boyfriend's you know, actions.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
You don't know what he's going to do, if he may do it again or not. And he says, Young Pueblo says, every day, stay present and take things day by day, one day at a time. Every day you get stronger and you figure it out. And that's really all you can do. And you will be shocked if you keep that mindset of how you'll feel different in a week and then a month and then years and then on and on.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
I'm not saying once a cheater, always a cheater. I do not believe that. I am not saying that people don't change. But in this situation, there is some kind of hold with the ex that she has on him. And I don't remember in what context, but you said he told, you know, the one who wrote in, who wrote the post, that he was doing this for them.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Was the conversation the closure or was the sex the closure? Because I didn't quite get that. Yeah.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
Yeah, we won't tell you what to do, but... It shouldn't be this hard. No. It shouldn't be this hard. You will have hard days, but this, it shouldn't, this is not how you, you don't want this to be the foundation of your relationship.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
At 23, I definitely would have been vindictive. Yeah. At 23, I definitely would have been like, oh, let's see how you take it. Or just lie and say you did. How about that if you know you're going to end it? I would be curious if she said, you know what, I thought about what you said, and it really made me think about my ex. And if I need to finish some things out and see what's there.
Two Hot Takes
210: Fill Your Cup.. Ft. Rachel Lindsay
And so I guarantee you it won't be the same reaction.