Polio Virus

Hello. Hello, Michael. Thank you so much for having me on. Let's hug. No, that's OK. That's OK. I don't want to get you. But how how are you feeling after watching the hearings today? I feel reborn, Michael. Energized. I am excited to get back to work across America. We should celebrate. Let's let's breathe on each other. Oh, no. I don't want to get polio.

I know the damage you've done to millions of Americans. Millions of amazing Americans. Take FDR, for example. I gave that man something to overcome, you know? I gave him a signature look. The wheelchair-blanket combo, that was all me. Oh, how about Francis Ford Coppola? He had polio? Yes, and if he hadn't, who knows if he would have gone on and make that movie Megalopolis.

That's your Francis Ford Coppola movie? I know, I know. Yeah, most people say Godfather Part 3, but... No, they don't.

Friendly? That's so sweet. Let's kiss. No, no, thank you. Okay, fine, fine. Just let me spit in your mouth a little. No, no. Look, I promise it's not going to be like polio was before, you know, with all the canceled pool parties and the iron lungs. They're so clunky. I am working with a whole new team for my comeback this time. Your team? Yes.

RFK Jr., the Tradwife community, Justin Baldoni's crisis PR firm. Okay, I think life would be better if you didn't come back at all. Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Can we just talk about it over drinks? Maybe we share a toothbrush. Stop. You're trying to infect me, polio. This is my purpose, Michael.

And you need to get on board because RFK is going to be confirmed and I'm going to be everywhere. Schools, hospitals, plane, bus, club, another club, another club. I get it, I get it, I get it. The point is, thanks to RFK Jr., I'm coming back. So you better kiss your little legs goodbye because once I get in those neurons, I'm going to... Sorry, excuse me. I'm going to be ruining all of... Polio.

Wait, are you all right? Yeah, so I just, I keep coughing, and I'm getting red splotches all over my body. It sounds like you have measles. Did you get your measles vaccine? No. RFK Jr. said I didn't need one. Did he not know what he was talking about? Oh, no! I'm disappearing! I need true love's kiss! Michael, hurry! Lick my tongue! Um, you know... You know what?