Phil Wang
Appearances
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
If it's not in the BM, did it even happen? That's always been my motto.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
And this library is a library of tablets? Mm-hmm.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
My brain doesn't quite compute. And at that point, would they have been able to understand cuneiform from 2,500 years ago?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Because they spread it everywhere. Ended up in different places. Because it was cool. Because it was exciting. He's spiralling. He's losing it. I don't see how it could have been good.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Was it a cumulative script? So they started off with some characters and as time progressed, they just created more and more characters in cuneiform to represent new things?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Oh, that's lovely. Two tablets across time. Oh, wow. Look at this. OK, beautiful. So I'm looking at it's a clay tablet from different angles and it looks like a flat sourdough loaf. I mean, it's kind of lumpy. It's irregular in that way. It looks... It's not like a perfectly square tablet. It looks like bread. Okay, so in the top left corner, it's sort of made out in grids.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It's almost like a comic book. There are squares. It's sort of a grid pattern, and within each grid are a collection of symbols. Like the top left, there's two circles and then what looks like a sailboat. And then below that is more circles. Lost circles. Not so many triangles, actually. Lost circles and what looks like a fish. And under that, three circles and what looks like a river.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I feel like I'm picking out a theme here. I'm going to say this is a tablet about... A fisherman. He's caught 60 fish. Three from the river. This is live philology. There's something here that looks a bit like a harp and some reeds. So he plays music in his spare time. He practices in the reed garden. Is it a dating profile? Is this Hinge?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It's Phil Wang. Welcome back again. Hello. Thanks for having me. Yes, Moody is an Assyriologist. I'm Assyriologist. Hey! In Comedy Corner. Bring in the silly, baby.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Yeah, there's something here about how he doesn't like pineapple on pizza. Loves long walks in the rain. Yeah, yeah. Wait, there's lots of circles. Is that counting? That's exactly right.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Well, yeah. I'm sort of using a lot of my knowledge of Chinese writing forms. Because counting in Chinese, one, two, three, one is one line, two is two lines, three is three lines. And then after that I go, this is not sustainable. And then it becomes.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
So is there a case to be made, you know, it's... We often sort of credit rivers, and especially in Mesopotamia's case, the two rivers, as being crucial to the success of these civilisations because of the fertility they provide in the soil. Mm-hm. But it's a case of you said that beyond that, they also provided the clay to write things down and for the society to progress in that domain as well.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
So it wasn't just sort of agriculture that the rivers allowed to happen, but record keeping as well.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
So river's good. River's good. River's good.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
So I guess when something was written by those professionals in cuneiform, the intention was only ever for other professionals in the same field to be able to read it, really. There's no expectation that other people could read a pop science book about astrology at the time. It was only for other professionals to...
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I picture triangles. Yeah. So carved triangles, a lot of grain, barley, the sort of the recording of barley. That's fairly good knowledge straight off the bat. And the biggest word in my, one of those diagrams called the word bubbles, the word cloud. Oh yeah, word cloud. The biggest word there is old. That's my, that's my header. Am I on the right ballpark?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Sargon, there's a king. I mean, not Darius. Sargon sounds bad. That's scary.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
And the hymns, so are we able to sing these hymns now?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
And was this system available to people outside of the kings? So regular people could do this as well?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Probably like, this place sucks. It's really hot. It's really hot. We've got a river. That's pretty good, I guess. What's it like over there? This place sucks too, actually. It's really hot. I have to go to this stupid scribe every time I want to send a letter to someone. So you think it's just like people just complaining? It must have been, yeah. The arrogance, though.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I don't think there's a lot to complain about back then.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I'm sorry, but you mentioned a few times now the word rations. What do you mean by that in this context? What were rations?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Yeah, the O is a triangle, the L is a triangle, and the D is a triangle. But if you know, if you can read the uniform, you can tell the difference. So, what do you know?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I was going to ask, are these good reads? Are they real tablet turners? LAUGHTER
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
What were people writing about? I mean, there's the letters, presumably, and also, all of it, literature and records as well.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Almost, almost. We don't know how it ends. And then Gilgamesh did what, did what. It's like Game of Thrones, he's still not finished it.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Things like, how are you? Good trip? You get in all right? No. That must have been something. How was the journey? Must have been something like that. How was the journey? And then he's running back, how are the kids? How's the barley? I mean, he must have been there for a while if there was time for them to have a clay tablet exchange, right?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I feel like there's more drama in these tablets, Moody.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Wow. So she's invoicing him as well. I know. On top of all that.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It's not going well, that relationship, is it? God, she's making it sound like it's his fault the entire city is falling apart. I feel like it's a little dramatic. Because of you, the whole city is starving. But it's amazing. You never think of these old forms of writing being able to convey such emotion or such nuance or anger even.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I've always thought of them as very specific numbers, dates, names. Not like feelings, not emotions.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Do we have his replies? I'm invested now. I see why you got into this. New tablet, who dis?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
So there were schools and kids were taught uniform at school?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
They do look like sourdough, like I said.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Is there a modern language that is related to Akkadian in any way?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
You have to think about the average quality of life at the time and how much of an upgrade that would have been, even just for two months. I would have considered it. Yeah? Yeah, for sure. Yeah, depending on what age I was. If I was 40... I was already knocking on death's door, to be honest. So, you know, I'd take that. Two months in heaven and then death. Yeah, I'll take that.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Is it sort of like a tea leaves reading kind of thing? Like the pattern they fall into tells a story? So you're watching sheep flock? Yeah, you get up on a hill and you look down and see what sort of... See what they spell out. Yeah, exactly. If they spell out SOS, it's like, uh-oh. If they spell out King Dead, you go, oh, not this again. All right, who wants two months in paradise?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Unfortunately, no, the sheep has to die here. Oh, entrails.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
The cruciform... The cruciform monument of Manish Tushu. So cruciform means, is that a cross? Mm-hmm. Okay, monument of Manish Tushu. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm. It's a big... It's a building, and there's a tower, an obelisk, but it's got a cross in it. A big obelisk, but it's got a cross across it. So it's a big T. Big T. It's not bad, yes.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Oh, it's a mini T. I feel like monument kind of overplays the size of it. It's a minument. So it's about foot...
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
And so you said it's cross-shaped documents, so there's writing all over the... There's writing all over the sides of it, yeah, on every edge.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It's not an English. I feel like Neo. Start again. I'm like Neo when he says, I know Kung Fu. Yeah. I know cuneiform. You know cuneiform. I can speak it very fluently. No. I don't know why you have such a problem with me saying that.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
As always happens when I'm on this show, you tell me about the quiz at the start of the episode, and when you tell me about it at the end, I'm always surprised. So I'm not feeling too confident just now.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Oh, it was used to elicit messages from the gods. That's right.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
A drawing of probably his teacher with a cane. That's right, yeah. And also teeth marks as well.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Your favourite. It is a lie. It is an ancient lie that some priests cooked up to look important.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
You are a philologist. Triangle out of triangle. Correct.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It really was, yeah. It's always amazing because we do think about these ancient peoples, like you say, as being more about, more robotic in a way, that they were just about survival, that their writing was just about practical things, but there's so much sort of life and drama that we would recognise today. Yeah, it's so proper stuff, isn't it?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I've got it. I've tried to solve it. Triangles. Yeah, we don't need to draw every brick in the pyramid. We just need the triangle shape, actually.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Yeah, so they come after the Assyrians. Can't be bothered to come up with a new name. Everyone else came up with a new name. They're like, we're just the Assyrians again. Yeah, okay, all right. But it's not a language, cuneiform.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
That's what I actually wanted to say, but I thought I wasn't allowed to say that.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
An innate interest in this. Yeah. I wish I did. No, I do have an interest in it. I want me to say I wish I had a skill in it. Okay. Yeah. All right. But I do not know that. Okay.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Well, ideally you have some sort of key. You find some sort of key a la Rosetta Stone. Sure. Right? Something that just tells you what each symbol means. Aside from that, without that, I'm guessing you're looking for patterns. Sure. You're looking for structures, you're looking for sentences, and then looking for what repeats, where particular symbols lie, and seeing if there's a logic to them.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
This is good stuff, Phil, I think. That's exactly right.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
It's just me and Phil. We're going to solve this. Well, my name is Philology Wang. Exactly. Philology Wang.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Is Behistun similar to Rosetta Stone in that it's the same script in two or three different languages?
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
No, I imagine there's a lot of beef. I imagine it was a Kendrick Lamar, Drake situation between the two.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Yeah, yeah, cuneiform songs about each other, yeah.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
No, you've got to have a little healthy competition, I think, in philology. Yeah. You've got to... That's the force that keeps the discipline moving forward, you know? You can't all just be friends.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
I mean, there could be hundreds of others, but you've... I'm the only Phil Wang, anyway. I've buried at least three Phil Wang.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Oh, man. Like a kind of spelling bee. Nice. Like a cuneiform spelling bee. And he's like, spell corn. Yeah. And Rollins and Hinks had to stand there and go, triangle, triangle pointing to the top left, triangle pointing to the top right. Is it something like that? I think that's great.
You're Dead to Me
Cuneiform: the world’s first writing system
Oh, I see. So the test was if these three people can decipher this independent of one another, then right.