Pauley McPaulerson
Appearances
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Three times the charm, I'll come back.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
What does Miss Rundle get from, like, pardon my ignorance on this, I'm just like, what does she gain from having them released with her f***ery?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
You know, you heard about Miami so much. Cash only. Cash only. I love it so much. I can just imagine leaving the park. How the buildings get built here.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Like money laundering operation. I don't know what the it is, but I also want to side note Suarez is adorable. Like that man is so cute. Okay, just in case he's sad about everything.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I'm in my 40s, Billy. What do you want? You're all into date. Are you okay? Just kidding, 37. Are you okay? No, that's crazy. No, he's very adorable. He's a very adorable man. I'll give you his number. But the vet thing, didn't they find drugs or something after?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Animal drugs? That's like the last thing Miami needed. You know what I mean? Puppy GHB. Tranquilizers. I can see Corey Obey like, I have a great idea.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
The one that was really like stood out to me was that the hundred thousand dollars for a party called Havana Fridays.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
And you're running against him, right?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
The outfits, my God, the outfits coming to the scene were amazing. The stripper clothes, it was the best.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Why does he have so much magnetism? Does he have charisma? What is it?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Bully. That's all. And he threatens and intimidates people. That doesn't work on Miami people that much. Like, I feel like Miami people got, they push back. Like, why don't they?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Like, vámonos, vámonos, chica, vámonos. Did you hear the Spanish?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I'm a bully. I know that. Don't worry. Don't have to explain to me what that is. I've made many people cry. But no, dude, someone needs to run against him.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Why is he hiding inside on his teeth? Why does he refuse to move at the upper part of his mouth?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I can't, but he just talks like this the whole time.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I think it's Cuba and the U.S.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Oh! I just sounded like a giant cock.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
That's got to be some amendment. Yeah, that's right. Like breaking some amendment. Jesus, look at that. Look at that.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
You're in Spanish, which is, what does that mean? I speak that TV Spanish, which, like, if you're from Miami, you know that none of our countries really speaks like that. Like, if you're from Cuba, if you're from Venezuela, if you're from Chile, if you're from Dominican Republic, nobody speaks in like that, like, Bienvenido al programa. Bienvenido a Porque Miami. Este es mi amigo Billy Corbin.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Wait, you need one of those, dude.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I love that song. I want it to be my ringtone. It's really good. Cocaines.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Like, where is that country that speaks like that? You know what I mean? It's like this. I'm guessing Telemundo. Is it a country? Imagine. Bienvenido al país de nosotros. Why?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
You heard it in the video. It's like, it's awesome. It's like my Uber driver today was the best. I mean, he was just like, he was like, where are you going? Like, dress so like, like, like, cause I'm wearing a very short skirt. None of y'all can see, but he was very genuinely curious. And that's how Miami is.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
We're very like loose, loose in our subjects and loose in our, you know, diction because we don't really finish words. And it's very like, you know, it's tranquilo y tropical.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
And that's the thing. You don't call it booby trap if you don't want shit like that to happen around it. I'm sorry. It's just meant to happen.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Was it a blunt? Was it a blunt someone left on the boat or was it electrical?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
And they were throwing money and cash. Did you see that? In the street.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Meanwhile, we have like all this tragedy happened on the other coast with fires. And this like we just make fires look way too fun. We should not. It's not good.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
And this one girl was like, that was my client. That was my client. And now I'm f***ed. Now I'm f***ed. Because he wasn't spending money, I guess. What's the difference?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I guess she didn't get to work with him or on him. How do you work on a man when you're a stripper? Yeah, you said it.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Roy, do you go to strip clubs? Yeah.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
A lot of married men go to strip clubs, I feel.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
That's what I got. Is that what you got? No, no.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Did you see the beach pictures? It's insane.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Nobody in Florida is ready. Their wardrobe... That guy was in a t-shirt. He was like, and we're getting snow, and he's still in a t-shirt.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Have you seen Florida people's winter clothes, you guys? Are you kidding me? This is my winter clothes.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
That's the Miami dress code. It's always like a sweater that they got at a sports game, right? Like a university of something. Yeah, like a dolphin sweater and like shorts and chancletas. And like, bro, they're not equipped. I'm sorry. Can you translate for our audience what's a chancleta? Chancletas?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
It's the thing that your mom uses for discipline? No, it's the, yes, it's actually a tool for discipline that your parents wear on your feet, or anyone wears on their feet. It's called, what is it?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
We're on our 12th day of weather in our 60s, in the 60s, which is crazy for Miami, because we don't have seasons. And this is the first year that I feel like we have a little bit of a season.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I know my Miami girls are all happy about this winter hair. There is very little humidity. Look at this winter hair, y'all. This is Miami girl hair heaven.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Yeah, Miami hair winter. I don't know. We'll make the words fit later. I said my Spanish was good, not my English. I'm having a bad hair day. No, you're having a great. Why were you bitching about your hairline earlier?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
And Uncle Joey is actually just starting chemo. So let's give it out to Uncle Joey. Not Jesse. Jesse's the one with the good hair. And Joey is starting chemo.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Which one? Starting chemo? That's his one?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
How do you not know about this? You were either a rapper. What was it called? A baser or a rocker in the 90s, right? You only listened to rock or like Miami Bass.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Are you thinking of me when you f*** her? That lyric.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Yeah, are you thinking of me when you f*** her?
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Atlantis Morissette. Okay, cool. Atlantis. I just call her Atlantis Morissette. Okay, I need to make this up.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
They're just trying to build and build and build and build and build and they don't see it. They're trying to turn my island into Dubai. Have you seen? I live in the cutest little island, guys, on 79th Street.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Oh my God, come over, guys.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
I do have super fun karaoke nights. And everyone on the podcast is invited to just holler.
The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
#BecauseMiami: Your Yacht Is On Fire
Well, yeah, I mean, I can't claim that. I feel like he's everyone's boyfriend.